(A/N: Massive apologies for the amount of time it's taken for me to update. I'd just like to make this clear: under no circumstances will I be giving up on this fanfiction. It may take me forever in between updates-hopefully not-but there will always be an update. This is my favourite fanfiction out of the three I've written.

I hope you enjoy this chapter xxx)

Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen does. I don't own Fight Club, or the Sound of Music.

Chapter 13

I'm not one for temporary sanity sabbaticals. Or mental vacations, spontaneous disillusionment and impromptu lunacy. Even impulsively kissing tall, dark, handsome, arse holes.

But for a couple of seconds, I took leave of my senses.

Ok, that sounded way more sentimental than I intended.

His hands were either side of me, pressing me against the wall, and as his lips descended on mine, I silently prayed that this wasn't one of those lessons that life taught me; that I had no desire to learn from.

His lips were gentle at first, and brushed over mine sensuously. Ok this is getting way out of hand. His lips were not sensuous. Not at all. So my arms definitely did not slip around his neck, and my hands did not find their way into his coal black curls. No. His lips caressed mine, slowly massaging them, and it would be wrong, to say that I yielded, and moulded my body to his, until there was not a slither of air between us.

He groaned into the kiss, running his hands up and down my spine, those hands of his, certainly not leaving a trail of tingles in their wake.

And then he pulled away. The respite was obviously appreciated, as I suddenly realised what an atrocious invasion of my personal space it was. Unfortunately, it took a while for this thought for process. This was due the the inconvenience of his dark, blue, piercing eyes, gazing beseechingly into mine, seeming to search them for something.

Oh for God's sake Elizabeth; my sanity returned. What the hell had I done? My eyes widened as I looked down. I'd been fraternising with the enemy. Oh my God...Jane! He'd hurt my best friend, my soul sister for life, my beautiful Jane. In a sudden rush of fury, I pushed him away, as forcefully as I could; but he only seemed to move a centimetre or two, and looked undaunted. Stupid muscle.

"Elizabeth," he breathed, those mournful eyes, gripping mine.

"Don't," I shook my head, but I stopped as my head started to spin. I could hardly lay the blame fully on him, it was me too. But only a little bit.

I lifted my head up and looked at him, with the most indifferent look I could muster, "This can't happen again," I said coolly.

"But-" the soft look left his eyes, and a fiery, almost angry one replaced it.

"Jane," the word slipped out of my mouth, so it was almost like a whisper, but it's impact meant that that single syllable could have weighed a thousand tonnes.

He seemed to get the meaning of this word, and his eyes dropped to the floor. Was that in shame? Probably not.

The silence that enveloped us in the next few moments was deafening, and seemed to wrap around us, like a blanket, saturating the bubble that surrounded us; until the only thing left to be heard, was our ragged breathing.

"You're right, it was the most heinous mistake on my part," he said curtly.

My mouth dropped open in shock, how the hell dare he say that! Did he not realise, what the- When I looked up, I expected to see some kind of glare in his eyes, but his demeanour was completely calm, as if he hadn't said the most twattish thing ever.

I was about to spew a bit of verbal diarrhoea and slap that silly 'I've got no fucking idea of how offensive I am, please kick me up the arse' look off his face.

"Oy Lizzy Liz!" The raucous hoot of jovial Rich was much welcomed, and I plastered on a fake smile, before I turned to him, "Ooh, what's been going on here girlies?" He teased, sensing the tension in the air.

Darcy turned to glare at him menacingly.

Rich looked between us, practically bursting with glee at how awkward it was.

"I'm going to go and find Char," I tried to smile brightly, before wandering off.

The last thing I heard was the low baritone of, "Your timing is impeccable Rich."

And it would be quite wrong, sinful even, to say that that was the single most tenderest kiss, I had ever received.

…...

"Sooooo," Charlotte giggled, as she waltzed around the kitchen, like some magnificent, fairy, domestic goddess. Urgh, I retched. This is what country life does to you.

"Ah, shit," she hissed suddenly, pulling her hand away from the offensive, oven tray, upon which resided, a dozen burnt cookies. Maybe not a domestic goddess after all.

She turned to glare at me as I snorted, "Oh fuck off Lizzy," she pouted, before taking a swig, straight from a bottle of Pinot Grigio nearby, "Collins! Come and make the dinner!" she yelled.

Holy crap, that girl had him whipped!

"You drink too much, you swear to much, and you have questionable morals...you're everything I ever wanted in a best friend!" I giggled, pulling her into a bear hug. Yes, my rendez vous with Darcy was practically forgotten, good times ahead.

"Urgh Lizzy!" she squealed, but she hugged me back, "I thought I told you to lay off the Jack Daniels!"

"No can do sugar," I said in a deep voice.

God, I'd forgotten how fun it was to be with Charlotte, I'd missed her. I felt my eyes suddenly cloud over. I blame it on the drink.

"Aw Liz," she looked at me emotionally, "What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing," I tried to smile, "Just missed you, that's all."

She pulled me into a maternal hug, and I had a little pansy sob, "I'm sorry for everything Char," I whispered.

She suddenly pulled away, and looked at me in worry, "Lizzy, I said it was fine, are you sure there's not something else wrong?" She looked me up and down, with a thoughtful look.

"No," I smiled politely, because there really wasn't anything else wrong, "No," I shook my head.

"Good," she grinned, "Because De Bourg is throwing me a bash for my birthday, and I refuse to let you sulk in the corner!"

A party? I grimaced.

"Oh don't look like that, you sod," she slapped me lightly, "I'm quite looking forward to it. We can slip some grass in the old biddy's hor d'oeuvre, she might smile!"

I laughed at this, feeling like I was stepping into a familiar room, as Char's humour was stellar.

"I haven't met her yet, but reports don't sound favourable," I smirked.

"Oh she is frightful, don't get me wrong," Charlotte said knowingly, "But I think somewhere, deep down, she does have a slither of humanity."

Why did I suddenly get the feeling that this slither of humanity was very, very deep down? In fact so deep down, one could almost say that it was non existent?

"Don't worry Lizzy, Rich will be there too," she snorted, "And Darcy," she added as an afterthought.

Darcy, there was a name that hadn't run trough my head a million times in the past hour.

"What's this I hear about Richie Rich?" The man himself swept into the room, with a look of the devil incarnate.

Darcy followed, looking furious about something, behind him. Ooh, naughty Richie. God I love that saint.

"Oh, I was just telling Lizzy about the delights of your Aunt," Charlotte smirked, before doing her magic domesticated fairy walk, to the top of the kitchen.

Rich through back his head with laughter, and said, "Aw Liz, don't worry, she's like a tabby cat. She'll purr if you give her a little scratch on the tummy. Especially if it's Darcy," he laughed at his own joke.

I snorted, "I didn't know you were De Bourg's bitch," I said to Darcy, passing it over as a joke, but I saw his eyes narrow.

He frowned, before saying curtly, "Kindly remember Elizabeth that I am her nephew, not as you would put it, 'her bitch.'"

Why on earth...An hour ago he was-well you know, and now... Patronizing git.

There was a short silence, as his clipped voice was a stark bloody contrast to the joking tone before.

Apart from Rich, who started sniggering to himself, imitating Darcy, "'Not as you would put it, her bitch."

"Perfect Rich," I giggled, "Not only did you manage to capture Darcy's 'I'm a git' tone of voice, but you successfully managed to make it look like you have a stick up your arse."

Charlotte snorted again.

"Good heavens woman," Rich pretended to look scandalised, "Have you read the guide to a Young Woman's Deportment? Snorting is a most atrocious way to behave! Back to the kitchen!" He barked.

I swear, that afternoon, I laughed until my cheeks hurt. Darcy kept shooting me brooding looks. There was no need to look at me like I was the bane of his existence. Hadn't he got our roles mixed up?

"Oooh Char," I said, suddenly buzzing with a fabulous idea. Because of course, I am fabulous.

"Yayss," Charlotte looked over at me, pretending to lower glasses onto her nose.

"Do you think we should have a little do for your birthday, the night before, you know, one where can...you know...get shit faced?"

"Brilliant idea Liz!" Rich jumped up and down, pointing at me, "This girl is amazing, and I bloody love her! Shit faced! Yah baby yah!"

Darcy's eyes narrowed again. God, I wish he would stop doing that. You know, judging me.

"Is he high?" I asked Charlotte in disbelief.

But it was Darcy that replied, "Almost certainly."

I almost laughed at this comment, before I remembered how I was in a strop with him.

But I must have given something away, as I saw Charlotte looking at me thoughtfully. I pretended not to notice.

"That sounds like a snazzy idea, Liz-bear," Charlotte smiled.

"Snazzy?" I screwed my nose up, "I thought you'd only been living with Colins for a month."

"Word to that," Rich tried to look serious, as he pounded his chest with his fist, shaking his head.

Charlotte snorted, "Freak."

"Slag," Rich shot back without missing a beat.

"Yep," Charlotte said huskily, leaning down over him, as he pretended to whimper, "But I'm Colin's slag," she pulled away.

"Awww images!" I screamed, Rich reacting in the same way, "Never, ever, ever say anything like that again, urgh!" I jumped up and down, mangled images of Char and Collins, seeping into my mind.

"You're a cruel, cruel woman," Rich shook his head.

Charlotte just smirked smugly.

Meanwhile, Darcy just looked mildly amused, but as always, he retained that uptight composure. I was upholding my Hate Darcy campaign, however my feelings wavered when I noticed how tight his biceps were in that shirt, and how broad his shoulders were. Holy shit, just shut up.

"So," Charlotte clapped her hands together, "I quite like this idea of a little shebang. Lizzy you can cook-"

I groaned, slumping across the counter.

"-ah ah!" she pointed a finger at me, scolding me like I was I child.

I scowled in vain.

"-Rich, Darcy, you in?" she asked the others.

"I'm in baby, fuck yeah! Fuck yeah!" Rich repeatedly shouted this, pounding his fist in the air, making Darcy crack a smile. Well, what a surprising turn of events, he smiles. In fact, now he was laughing hysterically, as Rich said something very crude, that I won't repeat.

"And you, Darcy?" Charlotte asked, still laughing at Rich.

His smile disappeared and his gaze flicked to mine. Oh get a grip pansy-kins, I wasn't that much of a bottom dweller that he couldn't spend one night in my presence. Yack, not like that. But his gaze was elsewhere in an instant. Why was I disappointed?

"I'll pencil it in," he nodded, with a small smile.

I snorted, along with Rich, and Darcy looked at me sharply. Oh, he wasn't joking. I tried to hide my giggle, but it seemed to just escape out of me, until I was hysterical, holding onto the table for support. Rich and Char joined in, until we were holding onto the tables.

"Excuse me I do not see what is so funny," he said in his uptight baritone voice, making us laugh more hysterically.

And then this only intensified, when Collins suddenly ran in, in slacks- I repeat slacks-like a mad man, with his hands in the air, shrieking, "Charlotte! Charlotte! Ooh dear, the chickens have escaped again!" And he ran straight out into the back yard, crying like the plague was upon him.

Even Darcy cracked a grin here, and my breath almost caught, when he flashed a dazzling smile. It wasn't at me though, nothing in particular.

…...

"I have confidence in sunshine! I have confidence in rain!" I sang my heart out, as I sloshed a bit of white wine into the pan sizzling in front of me, "Whoops!" I jumped back from the cooker, when the sauce spat at me.

I licked the sauce off my finger and twirled around, doing a little jumping jive, taking a swig from the bottle.

I was then alerted to the presence of another, as I heard the low rumble of laughter, and I whirled around in shock, licking sauce off my finger again. My hand dropped to my side limply, as I saw Darcy, dressed in navy chinos, and a black shirt, tight in all the righ- tight in all the right what? Who in a what now?

"Oh please don't stop on my account," he was wearing a lopsided smirk, as he regarded me from the other end of the room, and I wiped my hands on my apron self consciously. I blushed, thinking of... well you know. No Lizzy, it didn't happen.

He simply stared at me for a while, and I was well...well I was getting a little freaked out.

"Um..?" I turned around and started to busy myself with things. I realised I still had the bottle of wine in my hands, and he must have seen me take a swig, "I like to cook with wine, and sometimes, I even add it to the food," I joked, trying to clear the air.

Rich bounded into the room with a happy grin, his nose moist and his tail wagging, "Where's the birthday girl?"

I felt relieved suddenly, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I grinned, cringing at how false it felt, "Oh, just pimping herself up, upstairs," I added some paprika to the stock pot, making it crackle.

"And here she is, the woman of the hour!" Rich grinned, as Charlotte came in, in a black dress, with capped sleeves and tight all the way down until mid thigh.

"Give us a twirl Char!" I smiled, "21 tomorrow!"

She giggled, giving us a mock twirl, before saying, "Mmm, smells good Lizzy."

"Thankyou," I curtsied, before the door bell rang.

"Ill get that!" Charlotte said brightly, "That'll be Henrietta, Catherine's daughter!"

Oh, there's two of them.

…...

To be fair, Henrietta was lovely. I felt guilty for her judging her to harshly. She seemed to be very shy, and very sweet. I hoped Charlotte wouldn't corrupt her.

Collins was on fine form as per usual. I had the unfortunate displeasure of being seated beside the aforementioned twat, as he continued to prattle on about how Charlotte's pretty face, made up for her shitty cleaning skills. Mind you, it was a welcome distraction from Darcy, who sat opposite, and I could constantly feel his critical gaze.

"...and so you will quite find, dear little Charlotte now knows where the detergent is kept," he trailed off.

I clenched my hand around my fork, my jaw tensing, "Oh, you must be so proud," I smiled sweetly.

Everybody watched, amusedly, probably praying that Collins would shit in his panties.

"Ooh yes," he nodded eagerly, mistaking my sarcasm, obviously thinking I was interested, "Yesterday she attempted the cleaning of the lavatory!" He looked at her lovingly. Sod.

"Oh my!" I gasped, putting my hand to my mouth, "What an achievement, I'm still trying to master the on/off switch on the washing machine!"

Rich snorted, and I even heard Henri giggle.

"Oh it's quite simple Elizabeth," he nodded good naturedly, "But an easy mistake to make," he patted my arm, making sure he hadn't hurt my feelings.

"Oh Elizabeth is quite the proficient," I looked up in shock to see Darcy, of all people with a smirk on his face.

What was he up to?

"She seems to have managed to conquer the hardest of them all. The cooker," he feigned amazement, suppressing his smirk, as he spoked to Collins. Bloody hell, he's decided to use his sense of humour. Hell, I didn't know he had one! Well that's certainly something to consider.

"Yes, this is delicious Elizabeth," Darcy said.

I almost shat myself. Was this-c-cou-could this posiibly be Darcy? Being nice? I couldn't tell if he was serious or not because he was still looking at Collins, with that innocent look. He was definitely one to watch.

"Yes Lizzy, Darcy is quite adept to paying compliments," Rich grinned, "I realise it takes a while to sink in at first."

There was a round of laughter, and I felt like quite the little Nigella Lawson, when this was followed by more compliments, for my fine cuisine.

I was even starting to think that Darcy wasn't too bad, when Henrietta said, "William, how's you're friend Charles? Charles Bingley isn't it? You said he had gone to New York for a spell."

Ah yes. How could I forget? Just when you think someone isn't that bad, you're reminded, of why you decided the were a fat sod in the first place.

Darcy tensed, and I think he could feel my stare. Charlotte glanced at me with concern, but oh no. This was for Jane.

"Yes, he's sorting out a problem in the offices there. The majority of juniors are incompetent, so it's no wonder we have such a heavy workload," Darcy said seriously.

Everything went deathly silent after that, and Darcy's face suddenly flickered with realisation. He looked uncomfortable. Good. Bastard.

Even Rich, wasn't saying anything. The clang of knives and forks was the only thing to be heard, but in my head, I was seething mad with rage. Yes, I'd been quiet over the last few days, but now, I was furious.

"Oh?" I asked, feigning confusion, my voice trembling slightly.

Darcy was silent, as he moved his food around his plate. Then, suddenly, he looked up, the self assured look restored on his arrogant face, "Yes, actually, they managed to get half the paper work shipped to Tokyo."

"I'm sorry about that," I wasn't sorry. They could send it to Timbuktu, for all I cared. "It's just," I swallowed, "The majority of junior lawyers I worked with-as you do remember I am a junior lawyer working for you at the moment, don't you?" I looked at him patronizingly, watching his face cloud over.

"Way to go Darce," I heard Rich mutter, as he put his head in his hands.

Darcy shot him a fierce glare.

"If I may Elizabeth speak, I see where this is going-"

"Best to keep your mouth shut and let the world think you're a fool, rather than open your mouth and confirm it," I snapped.

"Aw man," Rich shook his head, "One nil Darce. One nil."

Everyone's eyes were on us, and I especially didn't like the look on Charlotte's face as she looked between the pair of us.

"Elizabeth I am perfectly able to speak-"

"The ability to speak, does not make anything you have to say intelligent," I snapped, before continuing more calmly, "I worked with people at your establishment, who gave their all, and got results, because they had skill. I'm not saying that sending paper work to Tokyo isn't daft, but it certainly doesn't make the majority of us incompetent."

Uh oh. He looked pretty mad.

"I'm perfectly aware of you and other junior lawyer's talents, but I think that some individuals are...lacking," he said tightly.

I stared back at him in defiance, as the room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. But I could feel my bottom lip trembling. Why did he have to ruin everything for Jane, and then belittle things that myself and my colleagues did?

"You OK Lizzy?" Charlotte asked concerned.

"I'm fine Char. Thanks," I tried to smile at her.

"You sure, you looked as if you could kill Darcy," Rich tried to coax a smile out of me.

"I'd never kill him, but I'd read his obituary with great pleasure," I replied, trying to hide how upset I was.

Rich threw his head back with laughter, Charlotte did a half hiccup, half snort-it was the wine she said- and Henrietta choked on her dinner. Very satisfying. Collins didn't know where to look, but I could have sworn I saw Darcy's lips twitch into a smile. Almost.

"So Darcy, I hear you have an estate in the countryside," Charlotte said, once we'd all calmed down.

"Oh yes, Darce is very fond of nature," Rich grinned impishly.

"A Love of nature? In spite of what it's done to you?" I smirked smugly.

"Ha ha, Elizabeth," Darcy smirked, "Yes Charlotte, Pemberly is my childhood home, it still is now. It always feels like a shame to leave it."

"Ah well, some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go," I commented lightly, as I took a sip of wine.

"Ah Elizabeth, you are on fine form tonight. Always the sarcasm," Darcy sighed, but still with a dry smile. Why was he smiling, he was supposed to be in a ball on the floor.

"Sarcasm is my bodies natural response to stupidity. Besides, I'm not sarcastic all of the time. Sometimes I'm sleeping," I cocked my glass at him.

"Touche," he smirked. Damn it. Stop being so calm.

The conversation then drifted to what film we were going to watch later.

"I want fight club!" Rich whined.

"Don't talk about fight club." Charlotte and I both turned to mock glare at him in unison.

"Oooh, soz," he held his hands up.

"What about you Darce, lost in thought?" Rich looked sympathetically at Darcy.

No sympathy from me thank you very much. "Always finds himself lost in thought, it's unfamiliar territory."

"Lizzy," Charlotte admonished me, "Say sorry."

I looked at Darcy's smug little face. No.

"Lizzy..." she warned, kicking me under the table.

"Ow Charlotte, why are you kicking me?" I batted my eyelashes innocently.

"Fine," I sighed, "Darcy, I am incredibly sorry for being bitchy," I simpered.

"It's quite alright," he nodded, pretending to be serious.

I smiled at Charlotte cheekily, "There," I stuck my tongue out.

"And how graciously it was done!" Charlotte sighed, before looking depressed, "Another year older," she sunk into her chair.

"Oh Char, birthdays are good. They're good for your health! Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays, are more likely to live longer."

"Ha bloody ha," she rolled her eyes, but I saw her smile secretly, "In fact, I can't wait until I'm an old biddy, so I can pretend to be senile, and not try and please everyone all of the time."

"Ah, pleasing everyone is impossible, pissing everyone off is a piece of cake," Rich nodded wisely, "It's true you know," he said, mock insistingly, when Charlotte laughed.

"I just feel, you know I'm 23, and what have I accomplished?" Charlotte grimaced.

"Aah!" Rich slumped in his chair, "Ye old pity me!"

"Shush!" Charlotte scolded, as she laughed at him, "I mean, I speak one language, I'm only an intern at the firm and I've never done anything...you know."

"Never fear Char, you know where the detergent is," I said, making her laugh, "And even Collins says that that is a massive achievement."

"Yes Charlotte dear, you are a most lovely and darling wife," Collins smiled at her, and I felt a rush of respect for him. What a sweetie, he wasn't that bad. I'll even forget about the leer.

"Yeah Charlotte, though I speak three languages, they are English, sarcasm and profanity," I squeezed her arm, "It'll all turn out right. The work you do matters more than you know."

As I was cheering up Charlotte, what was creeping me out, was seeing Darcy staring at me strangely. I decided to ignore it.

"What about you Lizzy, off to university again! You are amazingly clever," Charlotte said.

"Oh I know," I said sarcastically, "No seriously, sometimes I forget to put bread in the toaster before I press the button."

Darcy started to chuckle at this, and I gave him a weird look, but he didn't look away.

"You ready for shit loads of work?" Charlotte giggled.

"Oh don't worry, I'm on 500mgs of Fukitol," I shrugged.

…...

As we saw everyone out at the end, I finally realised how tired I was. My shoulders slumped, and I barely noticed that everyone had walked past, and the only person near was...yep you guessed it: Darcy.

"Thankyou for a pleasant evening," he said simply, after he stared at me for a while, with that strange look on his face.

Seriously, I was starting to wonder if Charlotte had written 'CRAP BAG' on my head in my sleep.

"You're welcome," I giggled, God he was so uptight.

He put a hand on my shoulder and I tensed, suddenly noticing how gorgeous he was. Nope, I noticed that a long time ago... His hand rose to my shoulder in a caress, and I inhaled sharply.

"Lizzy, that's them all gone I think oh-" Charlotte came bounding around the corner, "Am I-"

"No, I was just leaving," Darcy snatched his hand away from me, as if I had the plague.

Charlotte's eyebrows rose, and I shook my head.

Was it weird that I felt disappointed by the loss of contact? Yes. But it was probably due to the amount of alcohol I'd consumed.

"See you soon Darcy," I smiled politely.

"Well, I'll see if I can pencil you in," he smirked, before walking out.

"Don't even start," I held up my hand to Charlotte, leaving her standing in the corridor like a smug git.

…...

Hope you enjoyed :)