A/N: What can I say? I was bored.

Disclaimer: As ever, don't own.

"So? What do you guys think?" asked a beaming Robbie, as he held out a hand toward his science project like a model on The Price is Right.

"I think it makes that car-battery-phone charger you made for Vega look like a model of elegance and simplicity."

"Jade! Be nice!" But even as Tori spoke, she silently admitted that the Goth girl had a point. The monstrosity, which Robbie had apparently dubbed the "Informatron", was indeed a jumbled mess of wireless routers, antennae, cannibalized cell phone parts, and black boxes connected by cables whose purpose Tori couldn't begin to imagine.

"It's fine, Tori." Robbie looked meaningfully at Jade. "Scientific breakthroughs always evoke scorn from the unenlightened."

Jade lunged forward and grabbed him by the shirt front. "I swear to God, Shapiro, I'm going to wipe that smug smile off your face with my fist if you keep talking like that-"

"Look, I don't wanna be rude," Andre cut in, "but could you hurry this up, Rob? I could be at the beach right now!"

The others nodded in hearty agreement. Here they were, in the school gymnasium on a Saturday morning, a sweltering day – 103 in the shade – all to see Robbie's latest crackpot invention. And just to put the icing on the proverbial cake, Hollywood Arts' air conditioning system had broken down.

"Hey, Sinj!" Beck called toward the ceiling. "Having any luck up there?"

Sinjin's voice, muffled by layers of metal and insulation, came down from the ventilation shaft. "I've almost got it. Just some faulty wiring, it looks like."

"So, Robbie, tell us some more about your – whatchamacallit – Infingatron?"

"Informatron." Robbie smiled at Cat. "Basically, it's designed to download information from the Internet directly into the human brain. This little doodad – " he held up what looked like a tiny tic-tac-toe grid at the end of a long, thin wire – "generates a low-wattage electromagnetic pulse that syncs up brain waves with the processing activity of the computer core, then establishes the equivalent of a LAN so that files can be uploaded to-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes you a brainiac. Gotcha." Jade turned on her heel. "Later, suckers. I've got a date with some ocean waves."

"But…don't you want to see a demonstration?" Robbie stammered.

"Oh, please. You know that thing will never work. It'll probably just fry the brain of whatever poor sap you enlist as a test subject-"

"I'll do it!" Cat cried.

Everyone stared at her.

"You sure, baby?" Robbie looked at her warily.

"Heck yeah I'm sure." She added, softly: "I just want to be smart for a change, you know?"

"Oh, Cat, sweetheart. Don't let the name-calling get to you. You're intelligent, and wonderful, and-"

"Robbie." She raised a hand to halt him. "I appreciate it. I really do. But I want to try this. I need to try this."

"…Okay," he said doubtfully. "But I'm going to start you off slow." He pressed the little grid against her temple and fixed it in place with a bit of tape. "Maybe a few Wikipedia entries."

He tapped on his PearPad, and the great machine began to hum. Cat's eyes opened wide; her pupils dilated. "I can feel it," she whispered. "The knowledge flowing into me. Angola. Population: 18,498,000. Capital: Luanda. Official language: Portuguese…"

A yell came from the ventilation shaft: "Oh, shit!" It was followed immediately by a loud crackle, and the acrid scent of burning rubber; the lights flashed on and off wildly. Cat began to shake violently, her limbs flailing about; the machine whined and arced with sparks.

"Shut it off!" Jade screamed. Beck and Andre dived for the outlet and wrested out the cord. As the lights came back on, this time for good, Cat collapsed in a heap.

A panel in the ceiling slid open, and Sinjin thrust his head out. His hair was even frizzier than usual, and his face blackened by smoke. "Oh, geez, I'm so sorry. There was a short circuit, and something caught fire – I think it's out now…"

He stopped as he realized no one was paying attention. The little group of friends were clustered around Cat – Beck administering CPR, while Jade and Tori held Cat's hands tightly in theirs and Robbie stroked her hair, weeping. "It's all my fault. Why did I let her try it? What have I done?"

For a few heartbreaking moments, there was nothing. Then: "Huuuuh!" Cat inhaled sharply as her eyes snapped open. "Wha-what happened? Where am I?"

Tears of joy streaked Jade's face, her shield of cynicism momentarily gone. "You're in the gym, kitty cat. There was an accident. How are you feeling?"

"A bit out of sorts, but nothing that time won't heal, I should think."

Cat's friends stared at her in puzzlement. "Um…are you okay?" Tori slowly asked.

"As okay as one can be after such a shock." Cat giggled. "Dear me. It reminds me of the sort of accidents that were wont to occur during the tiff between Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla over direct versus alternating current."

Jade went goggle-eyed. "Robbie? If your little machine screwed up Cat's mind, you are absolutely freaking dead."

Now it was Cat's turn to appear baffled. " 'Screwed up'? On the contrary. That serendipitous power surge seems to have downloaded all the contents of the Internet into my cerebral cortex at once – and not only that, but it would appear that my neural network has been restructured to accommodate the massive influx of data."

"That's…that's amazing," Robbie whispered.

"Why, yes, I know," replied Cat with a wry smile. "In fact, my dear Robbie, I know everything."

She looked around at her speechless friends, all of them still as statues.

"And now that matters have been made clear, I could really do with some Bibble."