A/N: I came up with this idea and decided to write it out and see how many veiws I could get. If people don't seem interested, I probably won't bother continuing it. If I do continue it, however, then it will be five chapters long; all diary entries. It's Elena set during season 4 after she's turned, and most of the entries are pertaining to her new veiw on Damon. I'll try my best try and capture Elena's character but it won't be perfect, partially because I don't know how she'll be when the show returns in the fall. I'm guessing she'll be the same ol' boring and bitchy Elena. Ok, enough Elena bashing. The entries take place once a week; so this is her first week of being a vampire. If the next one said 'week 4' then that would be her fourth week being a vampire. Make sense?

Here we go. I own nothing, btw.

Week 1

Dear diary,

It's so strange, sitting here and writing like I used to. And I did, everyday when I came home from school, I'd sit by my window and write about things that seem so inconsequential now. I'd write about cheerleading, boyfriend drama, fights with Jeremy or my parents; normal stuff, human stuff.

My borrowed time finally ran out. Truthfully, I was wondering when it would, when the inevitable would happen. Well, it has. I am no longer human.

I probably could have prevented this if I really had tried. I'm the one who told Stefan to rescue Matt first. If I could change things, then I wouldn't. I'd still choose to save Matt. My dad saved me and now it was time for me to not be selfish either.

One thing I wish I could change was letting Jeremy take me to the hospital, then Meredith would have never given me Damon's blood and I would have died. A part of me wishes it just so I wouldn't have to be a vampire, another part wishes it just so I didn't have to make that dreaded choice hours after.

Anyways, there's no need to dwell on the past. Everything is done already and I can't change it, no matter how much I wish I could.

I'm sitting in Stefan's room right now, alone. He went to go get me more animal blood after much insisting from me, I told him I wanted to be alone. Damon asked if I wanted anything else and I asked for my diary, which he fetched for me. When he set it down on the kitchen table and sauntered out, I was scared for a moment that he read it. I'm not sure if I would put it past him, but I don't think he did; otherwise he probably would have reacted in some typical Damon fashion about the things I've written about him in here. No, he barely even looked at me. He hasn't since I've woken up.

Bonnie says she'll spell me a daylight ring as soon as she knows that I'm under control. It might be too soon to tell, but I don't think I'll have that much trouble with it. Matt came over and although I could hear his blood pulsing through his veins and his heart thumping in my ears, my control didn't slip. Sure, my mouth was watering, but I think it'll be alright. Maybe it was because it was Matt, or maybe it's because I've been slightly used to the feeling that I could accidently turn anyday. Either way, I'm thanking the heavens I'm not as unstable with blood as Stefan is.

Everything is much different as a vampire. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I see Stefan, and I feel the love I felt for him as a human, except stronger. That's a good thing. And then I see Damon, and everything between us is so much... bigger than it used to be. I don't know how to explain it, but I will say that his eyes seem somehow brighter than before, which is a bad thing.

I told him that maybe things would be different if we had met first. Maybe I was trying to let him down easy, or maybe I was telling the truth; I think it might be a little bit of both. But we did meet first. Before everything happened, we met and he made me forget. I want passion, adventure, love that consumes and even a little bit of danger; according to him. And then he compelled me and told me that I would get all that. Have I? Stefan isn't dangerous, only the things around him are. But I'm the doppelganger, so technically it's not his fault. I get adventure on a regular basis.

The other two; passion and consumption belong sorely to Damon. I can deny it all I want to everyone else, but not you, Diary. And now everything is heightened and I'm so, so confused.

I think Stefan just got home. I'll write again soon.

-Elena

~0~

I will continue if I can get a decent amount of feedback :)