In the tall southern mountain of China, there exists a series of hot springs in the Xiu Xian region. This region is well known all throughout China. The reason is that the springs are said to have special powers. Legend says that when the Gods gave life to the Earth, they put some of their energy inside the planet. Then, somehow, some of the energy was released into the waters of the Xiu Xian mountain region. With the energy from the Gods, the springs are said to be capable of healing the body and the mind of any who decide to bathe in the springs. As soon as one goes into the relaxing waters, the energy is put into one's body through their body. The energy from the springs is rumored to regenerate and revitalize the body so one feels like years of turmoil and pain just disappeared.
The Xiu Xian springs was originally just a spot for traveling Kung Fu warriors to relax at after a battle, but soon more people became aware of what the springs were capable of, and the popularity of the springs began to grow. Travelers began to spend some time relaxing in the springs before they continue to travel again while others just came to the springs to see if the springs were as amazing as others said. During the change in popularity, it was discovered that the springs were able the completely relax the mind as well as the body in which all stress seem to melt away from any being in the spring. Soon couples became interested in the spring's abilities to relax the mind and the Xiu Xian springs became a romantic destination.
With the growing commercial appeal of the Xiu Xian springs, over the years, a spa resort formed to capitalize on potential revenue. It was initially just a spa that took reservations from customers who wanted to use the springs, but as time went on, the resort grew and soon a village was built around the resort. There were hotels that had concierge service and 5 star quality rooms. There were restaurants of all types and styles of food. There were gift shops that sell memorabilia from clothing that had the Xiu Xian Resort logo on them to light snacks for any children that came with their families. Even the main spa building expanded and gained new sub-divisions like a beauty salon and a massage parlor. The Xiu Xian Resort was so popular, that it cost people a fortune just to be able to enter the resort itself, let alone have a reservation at the spa. The only discounts were given to the Kung Fu warriors that occasionally came to relax at the springs. Even with the high prices, however, the Xiu Xian Resort still had people coming and going, and the resort still gained profits and continues to expand.
Despite the popularity of the resort with both Kung Fu warriors and villagers throughout China, none of the resort's visitors came from the Jade Palace. It was not because the residents of the Jade Palace are unaware of the abilities the springs possessed, it was just that the Kung Fu warriors from there rarely had time off and when they were given free days, it was spent within the Valley of Peace.
No one from the Jade Palace has ever been to the Xiu Xian resort, until today. Master Shifu had granted the Furious Five a day off to go to the resort. Even though the Five were allowed to have a day off, their comrade, the Dragon Warrior, was ordered to stay at the Jade Palace for something the Five were not informed of.
The Furious Five did not think much about why their friend was not allowed to go with them, and they went walked all the way towards the spring. It took them two hours, but the group arrived at the gates of the Xiu Xian Resort. As soon as they entered the village, the Five were surrounded by the buildings and décor. Needless to say, the Furious Five were stunned.
"Wow! Can't you just feel the hospitality and warmth of this place?" a green tree viper exclaimed.
"Yes, I do Viper." A golden languor monkey stated. "it seems as if the resort prepared for our arrival."
A small praying mantis standing on the monkey's shoulder spoke. "Dude, Monkey, adjust your ego. Places like this decorate like this to make customers feel more at ease with spending."
"Whatever Mantis." a black necked crane at the back of the group said, "I actually like the decorations here."
"And that's why Crane is coming home with an empty money pouch." Mantis said to the group.
"Actually Mantis," a tiger in the front of the group interjected, "since we are well known throughout China as the Furious Five, chances are this 'spa day' will be free" the tiger said, putting sarcasm over 'spa day'.
Mantis seemed irritated at his friend's remark and he turned his attention towards the tiger. "Well thank you for ruining my joke Ms. Buzz-kill."
"Your welcome." The female tiger said immediately without turning her head towards Mantis.
Crane, Viper and Monkey started snickering at their comrade's timing while Mantis scoffed at his friends and turned his head away from his friends. Monkey then patted Mantis' head lightly with his tail.
"Hey don't be upset at what Tigress said." Monkey started. "If it makes you feel beter, I would have come back at you with an insult. So it could've been worse."
Viper and crane were now chuckling at what Monkey said. Mantis got fed up with the embarrassment and jumped on Crane's straw hat to be left alone.
The warriors continued to walk around the resort while going towards the spa. Viper and Monkey were talking to each other about the décor and shops still. Viper kept pointing out every piece of decoration that impressed her and almost every shop that crossed her eye while Monkey smiled at Viper's excitement and genuinely agreed with what she said. Crane was commenting on how he can already feel the steam coming from the springs. While mantis was not talking, he also felt the warm steam flowing in the air. Tigress did not talk at all; she just continued to lead the group through the maze of streets surrounded by the numerous buildings.
The group had to deal with a lot of the resort's guests as they made their way through the village. Most of the guest did not care about everyone else around them. Some guest bumped into some of the Furious Five and did not have the courtesy to apologize or even turn around. There were even some families that had children running around screaming their heads off, which was as much of an annoyance to the parents as it was to the Five. After dealing with the large crowds of guests, The Five reached the bottom of some stairs that led up one of the mountains towards a large structure with steam coming out of some windows. That was the main Spa building. The five Kung Fu warriors looked at the building for a while and they each wondered what they would see in there, until they heard a voice from behind.
"Hey there!"
The Five turned around, getting into their fighting stances, only to realize that the voice was coming from an old goat wearing some conspicuous, brightly colored clothing. The goat man seemed harmless enough, so the Five let down their stances. The group observed this goat and they notice his wide eyed smile on his face. There was nothing threatening about his smile, but the Five could feel a creepy unease from this guy.
After a long time of staring, smiling, and silence, Tigress finally spoke. "Uhhh...hello?"
The goat was still staring and smiling.
Rather than stand around for even more time, Viper decided to say something. "Soooo are you from here?"
"Oh no!" the goat stated, still grinning, "I am just a wanderer. I have no town of origin; I just go from town to town. Well actually, being a wanderer implies that I go from town to town. Heh-I'm being redundant. Well, what's not implied is that I'm not up to date on any social or political events. I mean, I know names, but not faces. I now, it sounds weird, but that's my life."
And he just kept going on and on about practically nothing with no end to his rambling in sight. The Furious Five found themselves in a predicament worse than before. The group did not know how to stop the wanderer's constant talking.
"Wow-" Crane attempted before being cut off by the wanderer's cackle. Crane just stared at the goat as the ramble continued.
"That sounds..." Mantis began to say, but he found no words to put into the one-sided, almost incommunicable conversation.
"Uhhhhhh" Viper tried to think of some words to say but she could not think due to listening to the clutter of thoughts and words from this goat.
Monkey motioned his arms and hands and open his mouth like he was about to say something, but he had no opportunity to talk. So he threw his arms in the air and rolled his eyes, mouth agaped.
Tigress did not try to stop the goat from continuing his random rambling. She just crossed her arms around her chest and stared at the goat. Her eyes seemed like she was analyzing what the goat was doing and saying. Tigress looked invested in the goat's story, but she did not seem to enjoy the wanderer's talking.
So the goat kept talking. He talked about his brother and the family he had. He talked about how he had a wonderful time at Gongmen city. He talked about how he knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who was related to a guy who talked to a guard at Chorh-Gom Prison.
Everything he talked about was not interesting. Every story meandered and bored the Five who was listening. If the goat never ceased his rambling anytime soon, there was no predicting what the Furious Five would do. Suddenly the goat looked like he was allowing the Five to talk.
"And now the guard has a phobia of fireworks, dynamite, or anything that looks or sounds like explosions. Ha!" the wanderer chuckled. "Well, anyway, are you five going to the main spa building today?"
"That depends," Crane started. "are you going to the main building today?"
"Why yes I am!"
"We're debating on all our options."
Monkey then joined in to help Crane with excuses. "Yeah, there were some stores that Viper here mentioned."
"That's right Monkey," Viper stated. "Plus there are also the restaurants and such-"
"GUYS!" Tigress yelled, making her comrades and the goat turn to her. "Master Shifu told us we are taking a day off in the springs, so by his order, we are going to have our 'spa day' in the main building."
The other member of the Five groaned as they turned with Tigress to go up the stairs. Immediately, the goat was rushing towards the group until he got in the middle of them.
"So I heard your tiger friend say that someone named Shifu sent you here," the goat started. "Isn't there someone from the Jade Palace named Shifu? Wait; doesn't that make you guys the Furious Five? Wow! I heard so much about you guys, but I never knew what you guys looked like. You know, I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who ate at a restaurant whose owner's son lives at the jade palace. You guys probably don't know him. I mean, being the son of a restaurant owner, he probably just works in the kitchen. You five probably didn't know he existed."
As he rambled on, Viper turned her head towards monkey.
"Monkey?" she whispered to her friend.
"Yes Viper?" the primate answered.
"How long is it going to take to go up these stairs?"
Monkey look at the top of the stairs and thought to himself how long the trip up the stone steps would take. "Well the stairs seem to be about one fourth as long as the stairs at the Jade palace, so I say that it would take around...fifteen minutes to climb."
"But Monkey," Viper began. "One fourth of the stairs at the Jade palace would take around eight minutes to ascend."
"Well something tells me that it will feel like fifteen minutes."
Viper groaned slightly and continued to go up the stairs with her head down while she and her comrades were continuing to ascend the stairs. And the goat that was going up the stairs with them showed no signs to stop with his talking.