An : The last thing I want is for this to be another Mary-Sue, falls in love with Loki and they live happily ever after.
There is no happily ever after.
FallenEpiphany

Chapter One :

Falling from grace

Returning to Asgard was the furthest thing one can imagine from being pleasurable.

It was downright humiliating.

Being brought back by my 'brother' only added insult to the injury of my failure on Midgard at the hand of the Avengers, and I was tired, so very tired.
Meeting my father again was a hard experience. All I had done, I had done to earn his approval, to show him I was just as worthy as Thor, even though I was not of his blood.

And it was all in vain from the disdainful look I received on re-entering the Throne Room for the first time since I was exiled, bound in chains and gagged, looking haggard and broken.
My mother fell to her knees at the sight of me. She stumbled forward and fell in front of me as I knelt, chained by Thor's side, clinging to one side of the Tesseract.

The metal gag the Midgardian they called Stark placed on me, cut into my jaw, and mother grappled with it, trying to pry it off.

''Frigga-'' my father began, his voice was not harsh, but it was far from kind Mother cut him off.
''Look at him Odin! Look at what they have done to him!'' she wailed.
My father said nothing, and stared at me coolly.

''Release him Thor.'' Mother pleaded, and my brother, the ever forgiving fool, opened the clasp at the back of my neck and the gag fell to the floor with a clatter.
I gasped, flexing my jaw, feeling blood trickle down my cheeks, I was so tired. So tired of it all.

The moment my lips were free to move, Odin pulled every shrapnel of information on the Chitari and Thanos from me, I was set aside.
After that, I was removed from his sight to my own chambers, and I was not privy to any information on my trial, my punishment or anything else of much consequence.

The rest of the court refused to speak to me, once I was released from holding and allowed show my face in public, I almost regretted it.
The cuts on my jaw healed slowly, leaving identical red lines on either side of my face for weeks.
'Slivertongue' – they had once called me, yet I was unable to give them any valid reason for my actions, this was the one time I was unable to whittle my way out of the consequences my actions held.
I almost felt guilty.
Almost.
It was her that made me feel guilty. Upon my return, she was the only one who did not look upon me differently. It was both refreshing and un-nerving. My father had stripped me of my powers, and I did not know when, – if ever I would see them returned – this left me unable to read her mind and therefore unable to see if her intentions were true, or if she was simply placating me out of guilt.

Her name was Sigyn, she was a symbol of fertility and loyalty to the Midgardians. She was very pretty, though short in comparison to many of our women and of small stature; she was a far cry from the imposing form of Sif or many of the other Asgardian women. The thought made me stop, she was like me, her dark hair and pale skin made her stand out, and she – like me – was not broad or built like the wall of Asgard. She was clever, both book smart and quick witted.

My mother had whispered her name many times in passing, I think she hoped I would take her as my bride, though it was a thought I rarely entertained, taking a wife meant making promises. After speaking to Sigyn several times, I understood why, we would have been a good match, even a great match.
But everybody knows, I am not known for keeping promises.

I had spent only a little time Sigyn before my brother's fall, and during my all too brief stint as King of Asgard, I was far too preoccupied trying to keep Thor on Midgard then I was searching for love.
What did I need a wife for?
There were plenty of whores about, all dying to lay with a King, and a lot of whom were prettier then Sigyn, and were less… inhibited by moral basis.

It was not until I returned that I began to see Sigyn. I had truly expected her to scorn me like the others, after I had treated her so callously during my time in power.

I was taken aback by her polite disposition, and her seemingly genuine care for my health and well-being. It was like a slap to the face, her kind words on open wounds were both soothing and painful.
What reason did she have for even looking me in the eye?
Again and again she had vied for my interest, and time after time I had made smart remarks, or deliberately flirted with other courtiers just to watch her expression.

Sigyn had ignored the stares and hushed whispers upon my debut in Court, she was the first and only member of my father's courtiers to come forward and welcome me home.
She curtsied and smiled genuinely.
''Welcome back my Prince.''
It took every ounce of control I had not to snap at her that I –''was not her Prince.''- Instead I merely inclined my head.

I was to have a trial of course, but like most things in Asgard, it took quite a long time to arrange such a thing, especially for a member of the Royal family – adopted or not.
I estimated I had several weeks at least, if not longer, while council's met and decided suitable punishments for my crimes.

Thor barely spoke to me, father did not speak to me, and mother was the inbetweener, it was her job to go between us all. She was like fathers raven, running with messages between us all.
I tried to feel sorry for her, I really did, but I was still angry with her. I was angry with all of them.
My supposed family.
Having said that, soon after my return, Thor tried to talk me down, reason with me that my actions were because of the trauma suffered from learning my family was not my own, and that if I just went to father, on bended knee, he would go easy on me.
I promised him that it was not.

That hurt him more than anything I think I could have possibly said.
I relished in the pain that flickered across his warm face. It was nice to see the pain that I refused to show so clearly upon his bright eyes.
When he left, and I found myself alone for the first time in several days, I sighed, and pressed my head into my hand.
How?
How could he still care for me? The last several months I had done nothing but made Thor's life a misery.
Yet he still partitioned me to beg father's forgiveness and serve a lesser punishment?

My mother tried to reason with me too, yet I would hear none, my faith in Asgard was gone, I was no longer one of its people, I was not there by choice.
After taking my powers, father told me that I was not allowed leave the Castle gates, never mind the realm itself.
The Bifrost was still undergoing repairs so the latter of the two was as of yet impossible, though I made the solemn promise to myself that the very moment the Bifrost became operable once more, I would leave, never to return to the Golden City I once regarded as home.

After my third week, mother convinced father to release me as far as the gardens.
He only allowed me one hour a day and of course under the supervision of his own hand-picked guards.

To this day, I do not know whether Sigyn was there by co-incidence, or if my mother interfered.

She was sitting on the edge of the fountain, barefoot, and in a pale pink gown that was ever so slightly transparent the right light.
She had daisy chains on her wrists and a few spare flowers in her dark curls.
I had to double take, in the afternoon light; she was the picture of purity. In her delicate hands sat a white lotus flower in full bloom, her bright green eyes devoured its glorious silk petals.

Aside from my entourage, we were the only two in the garden.
She looked up when my guards left my side and took up what I gathered to be their stationary positions.
The smile that fell upon her face was horribly endearing. Sigyn looked positively elated at my presence, in a hurry she got to her feet, careful not to drop the flower, and made her way towards me, the light material of the dress skimming the grass behind her. Sigyn's face was slightly heart shaped; her dark tresses fell about her in an organised mess. For the first time since I had first been made aware of her, I truly looked at Sigyn. I noted her left eye had a sliver of brown in its' emerald depts. Though petite, her hips curved quite naturally, and desirably.
''Prince Loki-'' she beamed, tearing me from my thoughts, ''-such a wonderful thing, so see you removed from confinement.''
I could find no trace of sarcasm in her voice. How strange.
''Thank you.'' I nodded discretely.
I wanted rid of her, if I were only allowed one hour in the fresh air of the garden, I did not wish to fall prey to a silly girl's chit chat.
Even a pretty girl's chit chat.

I think she realised I was not in a sociable mood and she curtsied.
''I hope your day keeps you well and may the light of Valhalla keep you safe.'' she said softly, touching the nail of her left thumb to her lips softly and moving it away towards me, this gesture was not uncommon, though it had been so long since I had received it, it took me a moment to gather it's meaning.

We are taught this gesture from birth; it is a reasonably intimate movement. Most commonly found between lovers or parents and young children.
It is a sign of deep care and passion; it was something mother would do when I was very young.
It was a sign of love.

I blinked once, twice, and because I could not find the words to form a response, I simply walked away.
Afterwards, I realised how callous I acted, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Why was this girl being so kind to me? I had neither accepted nor rejected her advances and tried to rain doom down on a realm where she was once worshipped.
Surely her friendly steps were out of pity? How could she want anything more then to be kind? When I had been cast out, Sigyn had suffered a sort of social exile due to her association with me.

Back in the garden, I took refuge under a towering Willow tree, her sad branches almost reaching the ground, and behind which, I was rendered almost invisible.
I could still see Sigyn, and I watched her, as she returned slowly to the fountain, sitting on its edge, she hitched her dress up to her knees with her free hand, and then dipping her feet in, all the while holding her lotus flower gently.
She sat in silence for several minutes while I watched, then with a careful glance in my direction, she bent over the clear waters, and laid the beautiful flower on the water, where it floated quite happily.
Seeming content, Sigyn lifted herself from the fountains edge with a bemused smile. Turning to face the tree which I was concealed in, she curtsied, and with a small crack, and a pale puff of smoke, she disappeared.

I frowned at the smoke, dancing and curling in a lethargic fashion, where Sigyn's tiny frame had been only seconds ago, partially jealous of the magic she was able to perform, and baffled by her.
I tried to pull my mind from her, tried to focus, and after several minutes of trying, gave it up as useless.
How had that girl managed to grab me so?

Frustrated, I got to my feet, and emerged from the Willow's depths feeling utterly agitated.
''She is intriguing is she not?'' Frigga – my mother – was standing by the gate, and I wondered how much she had seen.

''You sent her here.'' I rolled my eyes.

''No.'' Frigga shook her head. ''Lady Sigyn spends much of her free time in the garden, tending to the flowers and singing.''
''You wanted us married.'' I pressed.

''Yes-'' she conceded, ''-but I never forced the issue, I merely made mention in passing and I can promise you that I had nothing to do with Sigyn being here today.'' I saw the truth in her eyes as she spoke.

I shook my head. ''I'm tried. Do not expect me at supper.'' I said, harsher then intended, and I saw the hurt etched across her face.
Sighing, I tried to amend it, ''-its hard being back.'' I murmured, and walked away, not able to say anymore.

I dismissed the servants upon entering my room, unable to bare any company.
It was not until I was alone that I froze. I could smell something, something sweet, and something different.
Then I saw it.

It was the same one, of that I am sure.
The same lotus flower that Sigyn has set afloat in the fountain was sitting in the centre of my bed, next to a rolled piece of parchment.

I gritted my teeth, no liking the fact that she had possibly been in my room.
Taking the parchment roughly I unrolled it to find wonderfully neat script.

Loki,
I realise we have not had much time to speak on more relaxed terms since your return to Asgard.
This grieves me more then you know.
I am sending this invitation to you in the hopes that you will join me for supper this afternoon, your mother, her Majesty Queen Frigga has invited me to dine with your family, and I dearly hope that you will be there.
I would be most happy if you attended as I would certainly like to get reacquainted.
Hoping to see you this evening,
Sigyn

I re-read the note several times, and resisted the urge to tear it up.
She certainly was persistent.

But why was she doing this?
In my current position, I was the furthest thing from a desirable husband one could dream of. Yet why was Sigyn so eager to see me? To speak to me? What did she want? I was baffled.

Of course I was not going. I had told mother I was not going. So why in the name of Valhalla would I go now?
Because she was there? No, no I was not attending dinner.

Several agitated moments later; two servants had been hastily summoned to run me a bath and to lay out clean garments for dinner.
It would be desperately rude to ignore her invitation, I reasoned. She was a guest, I couldn't blatantly ignore her.

I mulled over Sigyn as I bathed, she was pretty, she seemed of sound mind, she was certainly clever, I realised as I thought back over our short time in the garden. The smile that had played on her lips as she set the flower into the water. She had known then, had she not?

Rising from the tub of bright white bubbles and heated water, I stepped into my room, and dried slowly. I had never in all my life, had a girl play on my mind so much. Neither a whore, nor a Goddess had ever rendered me so distracted. I wondered if maybe it was because my powers were gone and I had nothing else of consequence to preoccupy my mind with.

I dressed in black and green, they had become somewhat my own personal colours, colours that almost everyone in Asgard now refused to wear.
My lapels shining, hair combed back, I left my room shortly before dinner, but made my way to the dining hall regardless.
It was the first time since my return that I had gone to any effort making myself presentable, not that I had been walking around looking haggard before then, but that I put that extra effort in.