Fic: Rachel Needs Some Action
Chapter 1: Bar Hopping
Author: deeha
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Summary: Tina thinks that Rachel needs to get some action. Rachel's just been busy. But when Santana comes into the picture, Rachel seems to be less busy.

"Tina, I really don't think this is necessary."

"Rachel, this is exactly necessary. You need to get laid."

"What happened to waiting for the right person and being in love?"

"Who's to say that certain someone isn't right here in this very room?"

Rachel looks around again. They were in a nondescript bar that was hosting a single's night and honestly, it was looking pretty grim. The only semblance of a good night was the open bar for the next hour. Tequila shot? Check.

"Rachel, just go and mingle and if it's really that terrible we can try somewhere else. Turn on your Rachel Berry charm and get some action. I'm going to get another drink."

She turns to protest, but Tina somehow teleports to the bar and then Rachel's attention is caught when a total stranger clinks his glass with her empty shot glass. Who does that?

This guy:

"So what are you doing later?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"I do."

"You do?"

"Yea, you."

Non-pulsed Rachel just walks away. She meanders her way through the crowd and sits down next to Tina who is happily eating the free pretzels at the bar.

"How did it go?"

"That guy just wanted to get into my skirt."

"Great! Go back there!"

"No, Tina. No. Contrary to what you think, I still believe in true love. In finding that one person who is going to sweep me off my feet with cute little surprises and romantic whisperings and, and, and singing. There has to be singing."

"He might be able to sing."

"I don't think so."

"You can't just judge a person by one pick up line."

"Well I don't really care to hear another."

"Fine, can we at least go somewhere that has dancing?"

"Tina. There are half naked girls dancing in roller blades."

"Ooo, look over there! There are girls dancing on the stripper poles!"

"Tina."

"I thought you liked the ladies."

"Tina."

"Ok, then you choose."

"See, this is much better."

"Yea, if you like boring."

"Tina, it's a sophisticated and classy lounge."

"Boring."

"Compromise: bar lounge."

"But there is no dancing."

"But there is singing!"

"Oh god."

"Sit down. I'm going to see who is going to sing tonight!"

"Can you get me another vodka cranberry while you're at it? I can't feel my face."

"So you want to drink more?"

"Yes?"

"There isn't anyone singing tonight."

"Good, because I'm beginning to get a headache."

"So I offered my talent."

"Oh god."

"I can't believe we got kicked out of a bar lounge."

"Oh my god, that was the most hilarious thing ever! I want to go back!"

"Tina. We can't. We got kicked out. Because, if I may remind you, you got a little too excited when I started singing and you started dancing on the tables. Tables. Plural. You can't do that."

"Girl, I can do what I want. It's my life! Feel my face! Feel my face!"

"Ok. Let's get you home."

Rachel has the taxi pull up to Tina's apartment and she returns a very sleepy drunk (Tina) to a very amused Mike, who just shakes his head and asks, "Did she make you feel her face?"

Rachel could have just stayed the night at their apartment. But it couldn't hurt to stop at the bar across from her apartment.

She sits at the bar and greets Nick the bar tender. He slides her a rum and coke. She's been drinking clear drinks all night (well just that tequila shot and then she drank some of Tina's vodka cranberry), and normally she doesn't like to mix her clears and darks. But she'll make an exception since she's right across the street from her apartment and Nick's wink tells her that it's on the house.

She's probably on her second rum and coke, and just musing about the 4 inch heels she is wearing and how they exactly make her legs longer. She realizes that maybe she shouldn't discuss these things, but it looks like Nick thinks she is onto something really scientific.

It's probably the end of her third rum and coke, that she notices that Santana Lopez is at the other end of the bar chatting it up with another lady. For some reason, Rachel isn't that surprised to just see Santana hanging out at the same bar as she is. Small world and such? But just to make sure, Rachel motions Nick over to her and he leans in to hear her whisper, "Nick. You gave me too much to drink. I think I'm seeing things." He laughs and brings her a water. Rachel knocks it back. Like that will help with the hallucinations.

She catches Santana's eyes and smiles. She can see Santana look up in surprise and recognition. If Rachel didn't know better, she'd think that Santana was happy to see her. And then Rachel knows she is drunk, because there is no way that Santana just brushed off that lady to come and talk to her. Oh god, why is that lady giving her the stink eye. She didn't tell Santana to come and talk to her. She's about to tell Santana that.

"Hey, Rachel."

"Hello Santana. Your friend is giving me the stink eye."

Santana doesn't look back. "Oh, she isn't a friend. I was just drinking with her. You don't mind if I drink with you, do you? Want something?"

Nick laughs and says, "This little one is done for tonight."

Rachel dies a little inside.

Santana smiles and say, "How about another water? Thanks Nick."

Rachel wonders how Santana knows Nick. But then she realizes Santana could have just easily have met him tonight. Nick brings them waters and then he goes to give the stink eye girl a drink.

Santana is drinking her water and basically staring at Rachel. Rachel is drinking her water too, but is desperately trying to stare straight ahead. But is a bit self conscious because the bar has a mirror wall, so she is basically staring at herself. And now she feels claustrophobic because there are two pairs of eyes staring at her. One set being hers, and the other being Santana's.

"How much did you drink tonight?"

"I can't feel my face."

"Oh, is Tina here too?" Santana looks around the bar.

Rachel laughs.

They end up talking about how Tina is like the most hilarious drunk person ever, and they talk about how the Kardashians are actually mogul geniuses, and they also talk about how Kelly Clarkson will always be their favorite American Idol. Nick keeps pushing Rachel water, and eventually she does have to go to the bathroom. She momentarily thinks that Santana won't be at the bar when she returns. Which would be ashamed because Rachel is actually have a great time. When she comes back, Santana is in the same spot and the stink eyed girl is gone.

Somehow, Santana ends up walking Rachel home. Which is only across the street. But still. Santana has this huge smile on her face and Rachel is just about to go crazy because she can't for the life of her understand why Santana has hung out with her for the last couple hours.

"Rachel. I think you should give me your phone number."

"Ok." And then Rachel is giving out her number and Santana is laughing for some reason. Rachel holds onto the doorknob of her apartment and just marvels at Santana's laugh.

"Santana, are you seriously here? I can't believe it."

"Afraid so." Santana says. But Rachel starts to poke her in the arm. Just to make sure. She basically has no idea what's going on. Santana just laughs and tells Rachel that she should go straight to bed. Rachel agrees with this wise apparition of Santana.

Santana waves good bye to Rachel and walks down the corridor, and Rachel turns her attention back to her apartment.

She takes one step at a time and loves how her key magically opens her door. She's thankful for the little things. She falls face first into bed with all her clothes and her 4 inch heels.