A/N: Just a little internal monologue for Tony. Probably while he's flying the nuke through the portal or just after.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers. Obviously, or I wouldn't be posting fanfiction. I'd be making comics or movies or something.

The truth is, every time I look at Rodgers, I see something Dad wanted more than he wanted me.

The truth is, I know that Dad didn't love Rodgers half as much as he loved me.

But he had a hell of a way of showing it.

I know. I know. Poor little rich boy whining about his perfect life.

Yeah, except it's not. Try watching young soldiers die protecting you, getting kidnapped, tortured, and letting some die protecting you yet again.

Everyone knows I'm not the hero type. But Rodgers doesn't get to be the one to say it.

He may be the only one of the entire teams whose morals haven't been compromised again and again or never had the best to begin with, but that doesn't make him the only hero. It doesn't even make him a hero. He disappeared. He let himself die nobly instead of dealing with real life.

It's a nice thought, really, heroism.

But self-sacrifice seems like the easy way out.

Think about it.

Dying for others, it doesn't require any thought, really. And the hardest part isn't the fight; it's the aftermath. You get to skip that.

I'm not a soldier. I don't want to be.

That's one thing Steve and I have in common. We've both seen real war. But he's a soldier. He's a commander.

We don't get along much.

I see in him one of the reasons my father was distant. And when he looks at me with disapproval, I see Dad's disappointment. So I have to prove myself to some jerk who spent seventy years frozen in ice.

Never thought I'd be doing this when I was building the Jericho.

Not a hero, Rodgers? Tell that to the missile I kept from blowing New York off the map.

Oh, and, there's always another way. I can be a hero and not be stupid about it.