A/N: MY LITTLE SHIPPER HEART. *Cries forever* I'm so TORN. I love Korra so much, that the korrasexuality is ready to burst out of me, but Asami is just too sexy and awesome and kind and beautiful. UGH. I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU, MAKO. EVEN IF YOU'RE AN IDIOT SOMETIMES, I CAN UNDERSTAND THE CONFLICT. TT_TT I just wish Korra wouldn't suffer for it. AND I UNDERSTAND WHY KORRA IS SO AMAZING AND CAN'T HURT SOMEONE LIKE THE NEW(ish) HOTNESS. UGH. DAMN YOU, BRYKE.

I own nothing except my own headcanon and this is inspired by senbo-sencho's picture on his DA page.

"After everything she's been through, she's going to need you, Mako" is what she knew she said, but she felt disconnected from herself; like she weren't herself and she was listening to someone else saying those words. There was a pressure in her chest that she couldn't shake and a lump was forming in her throat, constricting her breathing and making it hard for her to inhale. She lifted a hand and clutched her shirt over the ache pointlessly as he turned away to comfort the other girl.

The other girl.

She should hate her. Hating the object of her own crush's affections would be the easiest thing to do. It would be the sane thing for a girl in her situation to do. It would be the immature thing to do, but it would be the painless thing to do. Hating her is what she wanted to do, but she couldn't. How could she hate someone like her? It's not like she really did anything wrong, despite her previous suspicions. How could she hate a girl that with all the opportunities to become tainted, stayed so pure? With a heart as crystal clear and honest as those Spirits-blessed eyes, just how petty would she be to hate a girl who just betrayed her own father for the benders' cause? She couldn't help but to admire that other girl, even as she cried silently and gently into that boy - no, that man's chest and even as she felt the slow cracks creep into her already broken and tender heart, previously held together by juvenile and selfish hope that he could become hers.

But reality was harsh and spared no one: not even someone as supposedly amazing and fantastic as the Avatar.

It was almost laughable when she thought about how stupid and egoistical she'd been. She believed that just because she was destined to be the world's savior, the target of her own affections would simply prance straight into her arms, regardless of some simple girl standing in her way. She wanted to kick herself. She was disgusted at her own short-sighted dreams, ashamed to think that she thought herself above someone else simply because she could fling more things than everyone else. Who was she to think she was more deserving of his love than the other girl? Asami was twice the woman she was. She doubted that the girl was capable of something so cheap as jealousy and malice towards someone who didn't deserve it. Feeling tears threatening to well up in her eyes, she was deaf to her surroundings, praying that she could get off of the forsaken airship, away from the couple. The thought of them made her sick to her stomach and she hated herself even more, but she kept a brave face, refusing to allow herself the right to cry over something that was never even hers to begin with.

She suddenly realized that they weren't in the air anymore and she numbly followed everyone out of the airship, regrouping with everyone, unable to react to what they were saying. She stood there and waited until they were distracted with formalities as Tarrlok came to Lin with demands. Using the occurrence to her advantage, she backed away slowly to not alert them before she wheeled around and ran from the group, jumping out to the water and calling on the waves to accept her and soften her fall. Suddenly overwhelmed, she propelled herself further, faster, feeling relief wash over her as she leapt onto the earth of the island in the bay. She avoided the house and the places where she knew had people. She shot into one of the normally empty buildings of the temple, slamming the door shut behind her and burrowing herself into one of its darkened rooms, away from the illuminated hall, a single window facing the bay. Korra suddenly felt the numbness melt away and all she could do is feel the pain of loss. She fell back onto the wood of the walls and clenched her fists at her side. The back of her head beat onto the hardwood, leaving a crack from the force of her impacts until the final smash, her head leaning on the surface. Her hands loosened as she felt an unusual calm.

But then it hit her full-force.

She was suddenly gasping in pain and she knew why it was called a crush. She gripped her heart and made her best attempt to keep the tears from overflowing, but it was a losing battle and she knew it.

Korra's hands flew to her eyes just as her sobs broke through. She wanted to be strong, she really did. She was always the point of strength for everyone and she tried her best to be understanding, but she was just a girl and this pain was too great for her fragile heart to take. She'd always been sheltered, locked away, kept hidden from the outside world and he was the first boy she'd ever really liked. The memory of their shared kiss and their moments together in the past months weighed down on her and the tears poured out harder, acting as the blood flowing from her bleeding heart. She let out a drawn out wail before resigning herself to suppressed heaves and sniffs, her body trembling with anxiety and hopeless sorrow.

She wanted to think that things would get better, wanted to believe she still had a chance, but all she could see was the aching wound sprouting from what could have been if only she'd tried a little harder a little earlier. She succumbed to her selfishness and curled into herself on the floor, the tears spilling down onto the floor now, the moonlight glistening off her dark, soaked cheeks. "Why?" she cried out loud, knowing no one could hear her. "Why her and not me?"

But she knew the answer to that. That girl was everything she wasn't. That girl was beautiful and refined. Poised and kind. Strong and polite. She, on the other hand, was plain and crude. Unruly and rude. Weak and falling apart. If she were him, she wouldn't chose herself either, considering the mess she was over one little heartbreak and as much as it killed her, she couldn't be the bigger person and simply accept that he was gone from her reach. Then again, what did he owe to her? That girl earned his love, fighting for his affection. She stood by and watched him be snatched, hitting him with a weak barrage of words that were supposed to magically work and stealing a dirty kiss even though she knew he belonged to someone else. She felt filthy and pitiful and the pain only got worse as guilt and shame mixed in with the heartbreak. She cried harder than she ever thought she could, not knowing if it would ever end. Please. Let it end. I can't lose myself over one guy. Asami deserves Mako.

"But so do I," she moaned out before collapsing in a pile of despair.

A/N: I'm going to go read some happy Chuya now. :(