In Mid Fall

Summary: A slow dance, a precious moment and an ending that might as well be the very beginning.

Author's Note: Story inspired by and title taken straight from Lily Kershaw's amazing song As It Seems.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

–

They've danced together before.

They've held hands before, too.

They've been this close before.

Still, everything about this feels completely unfamiliar. Something is different tonight. After all, how could it not be? It's JJ's wedding day. A celebration to make the events of yesterday fade into nothing but a soon to be distant memory.

Emily curls her hand just a little tighter around his and manages to push reality even further away. She closes her eyes and let all sensory impressions wash over her. The sound of the soft music, the warm feeling of Morgan holding her hand to his chest, his familiar scent. Desperately committing every single, precious detail to memory.

He notices her hand tightening around his, of course he does, and lets the hand on her back press down harder. It feels surreal, almost. He briefly recalls hugging her in the conference room after seeing her for the first time in seven months. That had felt surreal too.

She can feel their friends' eyes on them. Especially JJ's and Penelope's. They al let their looks linger but none of them seeming surprised. Not even Hotch. Smiling to herself, Emily shifts closer, pressing her cheek against Morgan's and letting her eyes fall shut again.

He feels her press even closer and the lingering thought in the back of his head, that she will leave them soon tugs at his heart. He just got her back. Just started pondering the implication of this second chance. Her return had saved him from so much anger. Guilt and regret.

Another song starts up but he doesn't let her go and she is secretly relieved. Time always seems to cease to exist whenever they're together. They keep each other grounded, force each other to live in the moment. Because tonight is about right now, and everything they have ever been. Tomorrow and many of the days that would follow will be her new beginning. Something else and entirely new.

She rests her head on his shoulder, face buried in his neck and it strikes her once more how she has allowed herself to trust someone so immensely that his mere presence makes her feel so safe. He moves his head, resting his cheek atop of hers.

"I don't want you to leave," he whispers in her ear, lips brushing her cheek.

"I know," she mumbles weakly and feels a deep breath pass his lips.

Then she closes her eyes and tries to not think about the consequences of her decision. Because tonight is about living in the moment. Not about tomorrow, or the day after. Not about Interpol, London and leaving D.C. It's about the good things and the good people Rossi had talked about in his speech. About her friends, her family.

Right now.

–

Some hours later, Derek walks through Rossi's vast living room. He smiles softly at the sight of Jack and Henry fast asleep on the leather couch. He pulls up their blankets and tucks them in. The memory of Emily bouncing Henry on her lap at dinner a few hours ago, the little boy squealing with laughter, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck and kissing her cheek. The boys love her and will undoubtedly miss her too.

The house is empty but he knows he will find Emily somewhere inside. She had excused herself and left the table a few minutes ago.

She can hear his steps long before he finds her in the darkness of the kitchen, leaning against the marble countertop with an empty glass of water in the sink. She looks up to meet the concern in his eyes and it breaks her heart to see that this is really hurting him. He remains in the doorway for a few moments, just looking at her.

For a moment, time slows down again. He takes a few steps towards her and stops when he stands right in front of her. She leans back slightly but not away from him, just enough so she can tilt her head up to meet his eyes. Without a word, he takes both of her hands in his, lacing their fingers and letting them hang limply between them.

The kiss is soft. Hesitant. She knows this is probably the worst possible timing and still, she kisses him back.

And as she does, it is as if nothing else matters or exists outside this room, their moment.

They couldn't care less about what will be after this, as time would eventually start moving again.

There will be a long flight filled with second thoughts. Her picture of Jack and Henry on her desk in her new office, that will have visitors ask if they're her sons.

It will be his date where the woman will happen to notice the home screen picture on his phone and not quite like that her date has a photo of another woman as the background photo on his phone.

Or her new team, secretly wondering about their boss' scheduled phone calls to D.C and the distant look on her face every time she returns from one of her frequent trips across the Atlantic.

There will be the tug in his chest every time he will drive past the house they looked at when she had told him about her concern for cracks in the foundation. He will look at it wistfully and eventually one day the For Sale-sign will be gone. Although it won't stop him from wondering what it would be like if she had actually bought it.

All that will eventually happen but tonight it lies far off, belonging to a tomorrow neither of them prefers to think about just yet.

He holds her close and wonders briefly if he has ever lost himself in someone as much as he has in her.

She can feel the hint of desperation in his touch, a silent plea for her to change her mind and stay. She wouldn't mind staying like this, in the eerie silence of the dark kitchen. But night would soon give in to day once more and then tomorrow would eventually be here. Where her decision would weigh heavily and where its consequences were to be dealt with. But not tonight. Not yet.

"This doesn't mean I'll stay," she whispers as they part for what feels like the hundredth time, and she opens her eyes to look at him.

He looks back at her solemnly.

"I know," he says, pain evident in his voice, before he pulls her close to kiss her again. "But I'm still not letting you go," he breathes against her lip, never forgetting what she once asked from him. Her eyes fall shut and a single tear escapes.

"I know..." she replies and her hands squeezing his tell him she knows that he never will either.

They have never held hands like this before.

They have never been this close before, either.

And they have never kissed before.

And perhaps, that's why this night is so different. It's not an ending. Simply a new chapter. They were just getting started. Even if they started with a goodbye.

Who knows, maybe this is their beginning?

–

Seriously, the season finale will have me writing for weeks! Reviews makes me write faster.