"I'm on to you," he said with gusto, from behind the clothes rack.

She was rather indifferent to this. "And I'm on to this jacket. Do you think they have these in blue?"

True to form, he ignored her ignoring. "I'm on to your scheming ways, you evil…evil!"

"Or turquoise. That'd be a nice color, too."

"You and your girly, evil mind powers!"

"Or maybe blue with turquoise streaks."

"Trying to brainwash me into becoming your zombie mind slave!"

She blinked, and placed the jacket back on the racks. "Ash, have you been eating Brock's special brand of pokéchow again?"

Ash frowned. "Not since the last time it made me hump that sudowoodo—See! There you go, again! Making me incriminate myself and thinking weird things!"

She sighed. "You have, haven't you?"

He made an open mouth grimace. "Okay, maybe a little. But that's not the point! The point is that you've been brainwashing me with evil powers and I bet it's frowned upon by society and it's freaking me out! Even Pikachu agrees, don't you buddy?"

"Pika?"

"You see!"

The first step in dealing with a crazy person is to avoid agitating them by making any sudden movements.

"Ash Ketchum," she snapped, shortening the distance between them with solid strides, "what the hell are you talking about? Don't make me learn how to do an uppercut with your face!"

Naturally, the boy was proud of himself for not wetting his pants. He was even prouder when he managed to not stutter, "Don't pretend like you don't know! You've been invading my subconscious so I want you to stop it!"

She looked confused, but still mostly in the default angry category. Except now she had her mallet out.

Well, since he was going to die anyway. "You can't do this," he wailed, choking slightly, "I'm bigger and stronger and a better Pokémon trainer than you!"

She snorted, twirling the instrument of doom casually, testing its weight. "Fatter, maybe."

"This can't be fair! Or legal! Brainwashing is illegal! Um, right, Pikachu?"

"Kaaa…"

"Ash," she sighed, suddenly looking tired, and relaxed her swinging arm, if only temporarily. "Just…what are you talking about?"

He had a chance to present his case! Must be articulate. "You! Evil! Scrubbing! Thinking! Brain! Stop!"

She was growling. Some experts said that might be a bad sign. "I can't stop something when I haven't done anything."

"Yes, you have!" he bellowed, all thoughts of self-preservation gave way to indignation, "You keep showing up in my sleep!"

She blinked, mouth agape. Good, she must be stunned silent by his clever deduction to her treachery.

"Yeah, and you're always all sparkly and wyrd and nice and saying things that I don't really remember but I know you're doing some crazy mind controlling thing cuz after I wake up I still can't stop thinking about your hair and how it's a really pretty color and I want you to just…stop it! Stop having hair!"

She was blinking a lot. Probably because he was such a blinding light of awesome!

"And your fingers! You keep touching things and holding things and sometimes you poke me and it's all…I don't know, but it's not cool cuz then I start looking at your legs when you move around while using your evil powers and then I'm carrying your bags and sometimes you get too close and it gets really hot probably from all the brainwashing you keep doing and it just has to stop! Stopstopstop!"

He huffed. There! He said his piece. Mom would be proud. "Right, Pikachu?"

"Pika."

Misty's face was kinda red. Most likely embarrassed from her villainous ways being exposed. Which was weird since she was still kind of nice to look at—she was still doing it!

He was about to tell her to stop having such nice cheeks when said girl spoke (roared) first. "Well, what about you? You're doing the same thing!"

He blinked. "Huh?"

"You're always being such an idiot and doing stupid things like getting us lost or swallowing gum but then you go on saying nice things and being stupidly sweet and saving the day and making me worry and miss you but then making me happy when you call or when you show up and you keep getting taller! Stop going through biological growth!"

"Um…"

"Your voice! It's getting different! And your arms! They keep getting more sinew and…I'm not sure, but you can't have forearms like that! It's not fair for you to have body parts like that and making me feel weird and confused and thinking about you instead of about Pokémon and wondering how you're doing all the time and whether or not you're thinking about me or if you've ever thought about me and it's just…just…just stop it! Stop being you!"

Every time Ash blinked, the redder his face seemed to become.

Misty, mallet forgotten and seemingly suddenly aware of herself, flushed and averted eye contact.

By this point, the store had been cleared of customers. As most of them were Cerulean born and raised, they were rather familiar with the adage: "When you see them mallets swinging about, duck your head and get the (beep) out".

The store clerk, a petite brunette, who was hiding under the counter and hoping for at least hazard pay for her courageous non-fleeing, cautiously peeked out in expectation of a murder scene.

Instead of a scene out of something like Hamlet, she saw the two teens standing across from each other with rosy cheeks. To make it more interesting, the boy with the hat was standing exactly behind the defining line for the men's section while the presumably violent girl was standing in the women's.

Being a romantic as well as being opportunistic (passive aggressive), the clerk slowly edged towards the control panel for the store's sound system and quickly browsed through the selections.

Soon, Breathe by Michelle Branch filled the space.

The Pikachu that was with the two teens leapt over to the clerk and seemed very appreciative of her decision. Sensing camaraderie, they high-fived.

I've been driving for an hour, Just talking to the rain.

As the song played on, the two teens seemed to have locked on to each other's eyes.

You say I've been driving you crazy, And it's keeping you away. So just give me one good reason, tell me why I should stay.

Slowly, almost like magic, the two drifted towards each other.

Cause I don't wanna waste another moment, In saying things we never meant to say.

Pikachu's eyes shimmered with watchful anticipation.

And I take it just a little bit.

The store clerk held out her iPhone.

I, hold my breath and count to ten.

The two of them drifted even closer.

I've been waiting for a chance to let you in.

They were barely a foot away from each other now.

If I Just Brea—

"You stop it!" Ash yelled, effectively stopping a songfic from full formation, and made the surprisingly catchy pop song come to a screeching halt.

Pikachu blinked.

If Misty was taken aback, she got over it in lightning speed. "What! You stop it!"

"I called it first! You stop it!"

"No! You stop it!"

The store clerk mouthed 'the hell'. Pikachu seemed distraught, and tried to calm his friends.

"Nooo! You stop it!"

"No, you stop!"

"You stop!"

"No, you!"

"Stop!"

"Stop!"

Pikachu sighed as the two kept shouting at each other. Oh well, there would always be next time. Besides, they somehow seemed to be happy despite the spraying in each other's face.

With that decided, Pikachu charged up for his strongest thunderbolt yet.

There was no hazard pay given that day.

AN: First actual pokémon fanfic. Definitely could have done better. Maybe. But I was spurred on by my recent infatuation with Pokémon again. This is probably the closest I'll ever get to a songfic. Life's weird like that. Also, apparently I'm a Pokéshipper. Fancy that. Thumbs up if you agree. Wait, wrong media. Um, leave a review then.