Summary: She's letting it go. Slowly but surely she's moving on, because she refuses to allow the darkness of her past to cloud her future. Their future. Spoilers for Always. Follows Wake To The Light.

Disclaimer: I'm running out of creative ways to say I don't own Castle. Not that anyone actually thinks that I do...

Chapter 8

The days pass in a whirl of sunshine and family time, great food and even better company. Kate gradually finds herself settling into a routine, some sense of normalcy, which she is craving after the complete upturn of her life and everything she has ever known. The unknown, she is not yet ready to face. This, however, she can handle.

She rises early most mornings, slips reluctantly out of Castle's warm arms and into her workout clothes. She runs along the beach for two or three miles, the long stretches of sand and solitude allowing her the time to think, sort through everything, talk herself down when she starts freaking out.

When she returns, he is either waiting for her on the private balcony that extends from the master suite, or in the kitchen, preparing a delicious breakfast. It is by no means the first time he has cooked for her, but she is now discovering the full extents of his talents in the kitchen.

If he is on the balcony, they usually shower together, gentle and loving and innocent, or hot and passionate, depending on the day. If he is in the kitchen, she showers alone, finds him afterwards and helps put the finishing touches on his morning masterpieces.

The days are filled with a variety of activities. Sometimes all four of them go out to the beach or the pool or find a nearby place to explore. On others, Martha goes off on her own, or with Alexis, leaving Castle and Kate alone. A couple of those days, they barely leave the bed.

It is nearing June, though, and Castle does have a book to finish, and when he locks himself in his office with his laptop and far too much coffee, Kate knows she is going to be left to her own devices for a minimum of four hours. So she reads or relaxes or braves the chilly ocean currents.

She calls her dad one afternoon, promises to come visit when she heads back to the city. They invited him up for this last weekend, for Castle's Memorial Day Bash, as he likes to call it, but Jim had prior arrangements and politely declined.

(Kate does not mention to Castle the part where Jim said that it was probably better that he not accidentally walk in on certain activities which were likely to occur against walls and on couches and countertops. He also said she would thank him later for giving the two of them time alone.)

And while she would have loved to see her dad, show him this place, and let him spend some time with Castle outside of a hospital, she is finding that she is indeed thankful for the privacy afforded by the large house and the small number of people.

Besides, she and Castle are now scheduled to meet Jim for dinner the day after they return to the city, which is probably a better way to start anyways. They can ease him into Castle's lifestyle, into the fact that she is dating him and loving him and everything-ing with him, and invite Jim out to the Hamptons at a later date.

But now the holiday is over and it is Tuesday evening and they were supposed to be back in the city tonight but no one could find it in them to leave just yet. However, Castle has publishing meetings on Thursday morning so tonight is absolutely the last night they can stay

Which means that tomorrow...tomorrow they go back to the city. Tomorrow, Kate goes back to...well, she has no idea. To her apartment to unpack and do laundry, at the very least. She should probably go see her dad even if they are going to dinner on Thursday night. But after that...

She knows it is highly unlikely that she will be spending the night in her own bed, and she will not have to wake early for any reason. She has no job, no real reason to hang out at her place (though she may need to clear out the fridge and empty the garbage cans). But really, all that is there are books and a computer and a murder board hidden behind the shutters, which she does not even want to think about.

But the loft has Castle and his mother and daughter, who are family now, which is still strange to consider. But they have spent two weeks eating meals and playing games together and relaxing on the beach, laughing and talking and embracing this new sense of cohesion that is forming amongst them.

Kate smiles to herself, knows that she is making the right decision by wanting to stay at the loft when they head back to Manhattan. She will have to run it by Alexis, of course, but she already knows that Castle has no qualms, no doubts. If he has made one thing clear over the last two weeks, it is that he wants her with him all the time, everywhere, forever.

And really, that is exactly what she wants, too.

"Hey."

She lifts her head, greenish eyes meeting the familiar blue of her partner's. He looks confused, probably has every right to be, because she has been standing on the balcony staring at the crashing waves for almost an hour. The sun has long since dipped below the horizon, the only light coming from the gibbous moon reflecting off the water, points of light undulating with the motion of the waves.

"Hey."

He smiles timidly, steps up next to her, mirrors her position with elbows on the railing, bare feet crossed. "You doing okay?"

She nods, speaks unconvincingly. "Yeah."

Kate knows now why she does not often take vacations, because they inevitably end too soon. Especially given present circumstances, she feels like so much has been left undone, open-ended, unsolved. And while getting away from the city was perfect and exactly what she needed, now that their return is approaching, she is not ready. Not in the slightest.

Castle sees the worry in her eyes, hears the hesitance, the insecurity in her voice. She has been improving with each passing day, has been spending less time caught up in recent events, worrying about what lies ahead, and more just enjoying the beach and the fresh air. But there is still something weighing on her, because he has spent four years studying her, the last three weeks digging even deeper, and he can detect the minute changes in her expressions, her smiles, her eyes, her words.

"What's wrong?"

Kate shrugs. "I'm...I don't know. Lost?"

"How?"

She leans into his side, feels an arm come to rest around her shoulders.

"I don't have a job. I'm not a detective anymore. I just...who am I? What do I do?"

She voiced these concerns to Burke two weeks ago, and his calming demeanor had assuaged them at the time. She has talked them over with Castle too, but now that they are headed back to the city and she has no job to go back to, everything is resurfacing.

He squeezes her tighter, buries his nose in her hair. "I know who you are. You're the same person you've always been. Tall, brainy, gorgeous." She smiles slightly and he does too, because he has always loved that he can make her smile in that adorably shy way. "You're incredibly strong and passionate and loyal. You're a great friend and the best partner and girlfriend I could ever ask for. Just because you're not a Detective doesn't change everything else about you."

She cannot help but smile at his words but sobers just as quickly. "But what do I do? It's all I've ever known."

"We'll figure it out, Kate. You're amazing. You can do anything you want. I firmly believe that. And I'll be there for you no matter what you decide."

She sighs, tension flowing off of her in waves as the air leaves her body. "How do you always know what to say?"

He shrugs. "I make my living with words. And I know you better than you give me credit for."

"I know, I just..."

"It's okay," he assuages. "We don't have to figure it out today or tomorrow or even this week. Let yourself adjust to being back in the city. Give yourself time to explore and try new things."

"Okay," she replies shakily, still hesitant.

"I love you, Kate," he murmurs softly, voice comforting, assuring. "No matter what you want to do, I love you, and nothing is going to change that."

She hums softly in response, drops her head to rest on his shoulder. They stand in silence for five minutes, perhaps more, surrounded only by the night and the sounds of the swaying breeze, before Castle speaks.

"I wish you could have been at Alexis's graduation."

She lifts her head curiously. "Why?"

"Her speech. It was...it was amazing, Kate. I was sitting there in shock that she was my daughter and she was saying all these wonderful things."

"Like what?"

She watches as her words are slow to register, as he fights to pull himself out of a memory that clearly holds a dear place in his heart. "That everything changes. That everything ends and we move on, but that there are some things that will always be constant. Your 'true north,' I believe, is what she called them. Those people in your life that will always be there no matter what. And I just...I mean, you and I were..." he trails off, gestures wildly in front of him. His way of saying 'over,' she supposes, and frankly she would rather not actually speak the word either because those few hours were some of the most agonizing in recent memory.

"But she said that and it hit home for me, you know, because everything I'd known was changing and I was scared and flailing a bit."

"She's a smart girl," Kate offers, and he can see in her eyes that his daughter's words are sinking in, that Kate is taking them to heart and applying them.

"You're one of those people," he says after a moment, eyes boring into hers with a sense of clarity and natural ease. "I know you are. No matter what happens in the future, you're the one who makes everything make sense for me."

She smiles then, eyes suspiciously watery, and when she speaks again, he finds that his own eyes have filled with tears, too.

"So are you," she says softly, gently. "You're so much more to me than you'll ever know. And I know I haven't said it much, but thank you."

He opens his mouth to ask why she is thanking him, because it should be him who is thanking her for putting up with him, loving him, and making him a better man. But he is silenced by her voice, soft but sure.

"For waiting for me. For believing that this was worth waiting for even when it seemed like it was never going to happen."

She pauses, reaches up to cup his jaw, tilts his chin towards hers for a kiss.

"For bringing me here and helping me through this. For believing in me."

Another kiss, a teardrop on her nose, and she is not sure if it hails from her eyes or his.

"For loving me."

He closes the distance this time, lips meeting hers so tenderly that it brings a fresh wave of tears to her eyes because she can feel how much he loves her and sometimes it still overwhelms her.

And with every new day, it is only becoming more intense, more amazing and wonderful, and she already knows that this is forever even though it has not yet been a month. She has never loved someone the way she loves him, and she knows that nothing and no one will ever change that.

"I'll always love you, Kate."

She buries her nose in his neck, inhales the familiar scent that she will always associate with love and forever and just...everything.

And when she speaks, her voice is quiet, barely more than an exhale against his skin.

"Always."

THE END

Author's Note:

1. Umm, so apparently this is the end. It kind of snuck up on me, but it just feels right, cliche though it may be.

2. I was never intending this to be a fic about the sniper and the case and everything at the precinct, which is why all of that has been left relatively unresolved. I'm sure the writers are going to come up with an absolutely brilliant way to have Kate return to the precinct and have Ryan and Espo work things out, so I'm going to leave that job to them. This was just supposed to trace the aftermath of Always and the early stages of Castle and Beckett's relationship.

3. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed and promoted this fic, etc. You guys never cease to amaze me with your kind words and feedback. I know I didn't reply to very many reviews, but know that I read and appreciate every single one.

Diana