AN: Hi! It is time for my love of Gwaine to shine through like never before.

So, I am sorry about this. I just really wanted to write it, cause I thought it would be funny. And I would totally do this. I will destroy anyone who hurts Gwaine!

Yeah, this is about as crazy as I will ever get. Hopefully. Well, at least on this site.

And before you read this, If you wanted a serious story, STOP. You will only be disappointed. This is just silly. It is also crack. Sorry to the people who follow me because of the Merthur stuff I write. This will be the exception to the rule. But I have to praise Gwaine sometimes.

I don't own Merlin. If I did, the show would probably be called Gwaine. This might make that obvious. It would also be dedicated to his beautiful hair which I somehow failed to mention in this story. But it is fabulous. You can't deny that.

If you like crack and silliness, then, enjoy!

I promise I will start working on my next long fic soon. Hopefully I will start posting before the month is out. I promise nothing though!

The Unexpected Army

"So you have another chance to sing for your supper!" Morgana whispered, as she unlocked the cuffs binding the shirtless knight of Camelot. Even after spending the past few nights in the dungeons, he still looked gorgeous. Yes, he was covered in filth and sweat, and maybe even a little blood from the last time he was forced to fight, but Morgana could not deny that he was a beautiful man.

Gwaine smirked back at his captor as she continued talking about his challenge for the day. Her men were surprisingly weak, if there hadn't been such large numbers of them; there was no way they could have taken over Camelot. He was tired, and still sore from the previous days fight, but he knew he had to fight for whatever food he could get. Gaius and Elyan where depending on him. He had never had friends like this before, and he wouldn't let them down now. He tried not to image what Merlin would do if he found out Gaius had died while he was protecting Arthur, and focused on his current predicament.

Just as the soldiers started circling, a man ran into the chambers panting and yelling, "There's an army at the gates!"

Morgana's eyes lit up, as she stalked over to the guard. "My brother has finally decided to pay us a visit, has he?"

"No, My lady." The messenger responded.

"What?" Morgana exclaimed. "There's an army at the gates, and Arthur is not a part of it? Who is it then!"

Gwaine watched the whole scene with amusement. He used the distraction to take out a few of the guards with his small wooden sword, hoping he would still get food for his friends.

"Well," the messenger mumbled, "I'm not exactly sure. It looked like a bunch of younger women, wearing the strangest clothes. Some even appeared to be wearing pants! And they were letting out some strange, high pitched war cry. They said something about wanting us to free Sir Gwaine."

Gwaine froze, midway through knocking out a third soldier as all eyes turned back to him. Morgana rushed at him, pulling out a knife and hissing, "Who would want to rescue you? Who is attacking my kingdom!"

Gwaine glared at the so-called queen, a crazy glint in his eyes, as he whispered the word that made her blood run cold.

"Fangirls."