(Fade in to Sakura walking home angrily)
Sakura (Angrily): That is IT!
(Cut to inside Sakura's room. Sakura bursts in through the door)
SLAM!
(Sakura stomps over to her closet)
Inner Sakura: Have you finally given up?
Sakura: Oh! He'd LIKE that, wouldn't he? (Opens closet door) Ha! Ha! No! No not even close! (Takes trench coat off hanger and dons it) But this IS where it ends! (She pulls a large box of kunai off of the shelf. She then starts lining one row of her coat with Kunai) No more games! (She then pulls out a large box of shuriken off her shelf and lines another row of her coat with shuriken) No more chances! (She then pulls out a large box of paper bombs and lines another side row of her coat with them.) No more of that idiot's little tricks! (Goes over to bed and pulls out a box containing a pair of armored boots, armored gauntlets, and an armored mouth filter mask.) (She dons the armored boots) It's time to show Mr. Deadpool… (Dons armored gauntlets) …what happens when you mess… (Puts on mask) with a ninja of The Hidden Leaf Village! (Folds and sheathes giant Shadow Windmill Shuriken on her back) Deadpool, Tonight's the night you DIE!
Sakura's Mom (Offscreen): Sakura! Why are you shouting?
Sakura (Stammering): Err… It's nothing mom… I was just… uh… sleep... talking. Yeah.
Sakura's Mom (Offscreen): AGAIN? Do we need start seeing your therapist again?
Sakura: I-I'm sure that this will… uh… Sort itself out… but that MIGHT be a good idea…
Inner Sakura: YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT MAN!
Sakura's Mom (Offscreen): Alright Sweetie! Go back to sleep!
Sakura: Uh… Yea! Sure… will do Mom! Note to self: Keep quiet while having a dramatic moment at 3:00am.
(Cut to Sakura walking outside toward the center of town)
Inner Sakura: Wait! I thought you killed your parents!
Sakura: Yea, but I brought them back with a resurrection jutsu last week.
Inner Sakura: WHAT? Bullshit! Since when could you do that kind of technique!
Sakura: Look it takes fucking forever to prepare and I had to give up some of my life force to finalize it! I'd rather not go doing it all over the place!
Inner Sakura: Whatever! Sooo… HOW THE FUCK LONG HAVE YOU HAD ALL OF THIS SHIT?
Sakura: What shit?
Inner Sakura: Uh, ALL OF THE GOD DAMN ARMOR YOU ARE CURRENTLY WEARING?
Sakura: What? All this? (Looks at Gauntlets and boots) I've had these for a WHILE now! I actually got them for my 15th birthday!
Inner Sakura: Okay, but then why have you NEVER USED IT BEFORE?
Sakura: Meh, Never really found it necessary.
Inner Sakura: YOU NEVER—You know what? Fuck it! I'm just gonna sit back and watch you fail at being a badass!
Sakura: Well, I think you're going to find yourself disappointed then. There he is! I'm off! (Runs off)
(Cut to Deadpool painting the circle)
Sakura (Offscreen): DEADPOOL!
(Cut to Sakura pointing dramatically at Deadpool)
Sakura: IT'S TIME FOR US TO END THIS!
(Cut back to Deadpool)
Deadpool: One minute! (Holds up finger) (Resumes painting)
PSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH!
Sakura: Um….. I've Come to—
Deadpool: (Turns around with an angry expression) ONE…. MINUTE! (Resumes painting)
(Sakura pauses, unsure as to how to react)
Inner Sakura: Oh yeah! You have this whole "Badass" thing NAILED! You can tell he's scared from the way he shoves you away so nonchalantly.
Sakura: OH, WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?
Deadpool: If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that… AND… (Drops Paint Gun) Finished!
Sakura: F-Finished?
Deadpool: Yep!
Sakura: As in…
Deadpool: I'm done painting. What do you think?
(Zoom out to reveal that Deadpool has painted his logo across the center of the village)
Sakura: I think you have some serious cleaning up to do!
Deadpool (Suddenly taking on a French accent): *Gasp* Sacrebleu! How can you ask such a thing of me, Madmuazel? You ask me to take my beautiful creation, which I poured my very HEART AND SOUL into, and destroy it? You, Madame, have NO appreciation for art! I spit on you! (Spits in Sakura's face)
Sakura: (Stares in disbelief) (Wipes the spit off her face and at it) (She clenches her teeth and fists as her body tenses up and her face grows red with anger) Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (Shoots a death glare at Deadpool)
Deadpool: Listen. How about this? You just go home and forget this whole night ever happened, and I promise I'll leave this place and never come back. (Extends hand) Deal?
Sakura: (Grabs Deadpool's hand in a Deathgrip)
Deadpool: (Winces in pain) URGH! Quite the handshake you got there!
Sakura: You…. Are going…. TO DIE! (Breaks Deadpools arm by snapping it at the elbow joint)
Deadpool: PAAAAAAAAAAAIN!
Caption Box #1: OH SNAP!
Caption Box #2: Was that a pun?
Deadpool: NOT COOL!
Sakura: (Punches Deadpool in the face and sends him flying into a building. She then pins him to the wall by sticking a demon wind shuriken through his gut and into the building)
Deadpool: Ok! *Ow!* I'll be honest! I didn't see THIS coming!
Sakura: I'm going to enjoy ripping that stupid, ugly, smartass mouth of yours off your bleeding, bruised face!
Deadpool: But my face isn't-
Sakura: (Delivers a flurry of super strong punches to Deadpool's face)
Caption Box #1: OH! Classic maneuver!
Sakura: I TRIED to be diplomatic! (Breaks one of Deadpool's ribs) I TRIED to be reasonable! (Breaks Deadpool's Collarbone) But I can see now that VIOLENCE is the only thing you are capable of listening to! (Grabs Deadpool's arm) This is for vandalizing the village! (Snaps Deadpool's other arm)
Deadpool: (Screams in Pain)
Sakura: THIS is for the humiliation that you put me through! (Pulls out 2 kunai and Stabs Deadpool in both kneecaps)
Deadpool: (Screams in Pain)
Caption Box #1: DAMN!
Caption Box #2: If only she was this brutal in the Manga!
Sakura: And THIS is for all the murder of the people of my village… and LADY TSUNADE!
Deadpool: Hey! I never meant to blow that place up! That was all you!
Sakura: SHUT! (Grabs Deadpool) UP! (Rips him off the shuriken in a bloody mess) AND DIE! (Slams Deadpool against the ground) (Kneels down and grabs Deadpool's head) GOODBYE DEADPOOL! (Snaps Deadpool's neck)
(Deadpool lies still and bleeding on the ground)
Sakura: (Feels for a pulse) I… I did it… I won… I WON! (Gets up and runs and jumps around with joy chanting "I won!" over and over.) I can't believe I did it! I actually BEAT HIM! I can't wait to tell everyone! They will NEVER believe it! I bet that bitch, Ino, will be SOOOOO jealous! (Laughs heartily)
Inner Sakura: So how did it feel?
Sakura: Err… What?
Inner Sakura: When you killed him, how did it feel?
Sakura: It felt… it felt…
Inner Sakura: Yes?
Sakura: It felt better than ANYTHING I had ever felt before!
Inner Sakura: Now do you see what I've been trying to tell you? Do you see the satisfaction crushing your enemies beneath your mighty and terrible fist?
Sakura: (A sinister grin comes to her face) Yes…. YES! I DO!
Inner Sakura: Do you want more?
Sakura: Yes! YES! YES, I WANT MORE!
Inner Sakura: Good! Now go into the village and show those who have wronged us in the past the consequences of their actions!
Sakura: YES! (Chuckles psychotically) Soon… this village will cower in TERROR before the NEW SAKURA HARU—
(Suddenly a gunshot rings out from behind Sakura)
Sakura: GAH! (Falls to the ground, clutching her knee in pain) UGH! MY KNEE! IT'S SHATTERED! WHO THE- (Looks back to see Deadpool's body is gone) Wh-Where did-
Deadpool: (Walks up to her) OK! I think SOMEONE needs a time out!
Sakura: What? But that's impossible! I KILLED YOU!
Deadpool: PFFT! Nah! I've had WAY worse than what you did! Still if it makes you feel any better, that hurt like HELL!
Sakura: I… Hate… you…
Deadpool: (knocks out sakura with the butt of his gun) Join the club, sister! (Pulls out walkie-talkie) Hello guys, it's Deadpool! The Target is in position MOVE IN!
(Fade to black as Deadpool walks away)
(Fade into Sakura Waking up in the middle of the circle tied up)
Sakura: Ugh… My head… Can't move… What's going on? (Suddenly she notices note in front of her that reads "Thanks for making tonight a blast! – Deadpool") Grrrr! ! Aw, could tonight get ANY WORSE?
(Suddenly some plains fly over her and one of them drops an atomic bomb over her)
Sakura: (A tear runs down sakura's cheek) …. Fuck you, Deadpool!
(Cut to Hinata sitting next to Naruto on his bed)
Hinata: Thanks for letting me stay the night here, Naruto. I feel like such an idiot for losing my key.
Naruto: (Blushing a bit) Uh, No problem, Hinata. What are friends for?
Hinata: A-actually, Naruto, There's something…. I've been meaning to tell you… for a while now…
Naruto: What is it?
Hinata: *Gulp* W-well Naruto I…. I… I LOV-
(A firey nuclear explosion incinerates them both before Hinata can finish her confession)
(Cut to Sasuke returning to his house)
Sasuke: Well, being evil was a fun change of pace for a while, but I think it's time I returned to all my friends back here in Kon- OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? (He is incinerated by the nuclear explosion.)
(Cut to Kabuto inside Tsunade's Building)
Kabuto: Hahaha! I have Successfully infiltrated the palace of the Hokage! Now for step 2 of my master plan—
*Rumble* Rumble*
Kabuto: What the heck is that noise? Why is it suddenly so hot and bright?
(Kabuto is incinerated by the explosion)
(cut to Gaara standing in the Middle of the village)
Gaara: Not exactly sure what I'm doing here. I should probably be back at my village. Especially considering the sudden water crisis we are having. Meh! It'll be fine! They can live a night or two without me. I mean it's not like I'm going to die here toni-
(Gaara shields himself in a dome of sand as the Nuclear explosion envelopes him)
Gaara: Ha! See? Nothing to worry about. Wait, is it getting hot in here? Oh my GOD! It is! It's getting REALLY HOT! OW! OW! BURNING! OH GOD! IT'S BURINING! OW! OW! OW! MY FLESH!
(The Sand dome around him starts turning to glass)
Gaara: Oh no! OH NO!
(The Glass starts to crack)
Gaara: No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! NO!
(The glass shatters and Gaara is incinerated)
Gaara: THIS IS THE MOST EMOTION I'VE EVER SHOOOOOOOOWN! *Dies*
(Cut to Deadpool walking away with a bag full of Money as a fiery mushroom cloud engulfs the hidden leaf village)
Deadpool (On the phone): Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Oda! Now if you will excuse me, I have to run like hell to escape the fallout! (Hangs up and runs like the wind)
THE END!