Wolfram's Tears

The Prologue

It all began the night Yuri heard Wolfram cry.

Actually, truthfully it started two years before when Yuri accidentally proposed to a beautiful Prince and then unsuccessfully attempted to ignore his sudden and overwhelming fiancé for the following two years and four months to this night.

However, somewhere between all the adventures Yuri and Wolfram had experienced together, Yuri had a revelation.

He couldn't live without Wolfram.

He knew in his heart Wolfram was very special to him and he couldn't, didn't want to even imagine his life without Wolfram by his side.

Of course, thanks to Bob he had a pretty good idea of what it would be like. Yuri remembered his panic, waking up older and normal. It was only when his mom had brought the dying flowers of Shin Mazoku to his attention it had suddenly hit him with the force of a tsunami. Yuri had never seen a Conrad-Stands-Upon-The-Earth die before, and the shock of a Beautiful Wolfram withered and lifeless had made him frantic to get back to Shin Mazoku, and to his Wolfram.

That was the moment when everything had become clear to him. His confusing loneliness, his loss of faith in everyone, being unable to pull his thoughts and emotions out of the dark place Sara had sent them. Looking back, Yuri realized for the first time, Wolfram had been left behind.

Yuri remembered leaving Wolfram at Blood Pledge Castle, thinking Wolfram would be safe there and where Yuri was going would be very dangerous.

He also remembered thinking he had to do this one thing on his own. Because it was Sara, and Yuri felt responsible somehow, as if Sara's behavior towards him was his fault.

However, everything had worked out in the end and Sara was a better person for it. And now Yuri knew better.

In Yuri's mind everything was so simple now. Wolfram was his light he would wither and die without. Just as Conrad was his guiding-hand, the one he would be lost without. And Greta, his warm home away from home, his daughter whom he missed terribly while away and he felt cold when he didn't know if he'd see her again.

Wolfram was one of his precious people. And Yuri knew he loved him.

However, getting into bed that fateful night one month later, Yuri was unprepared and, frankly, ill-equipped to deal with the bombshell he was confronted with when Wolfram rolled over and looked at him with huge and expectant, luminous green eyes.

"Yuri. I love you."

It was whispered on a shaky breath, but Wolfram might as well have yelled it in Yuri's face for all the difference it made as Yuri went hurtling to the carpeted floor.

Yuri sat frozen in his awkward sprawl for a long, still moment, his mind a complete blank. Why was he so surprised? Well, Wolfram had always hinted of his feelings, sure. He had even made some grand declarations during the first year, but never had he said those three words together and so undeniably.

Three simple words of love that made it impossible for Yuri to ignore him.

Slowly, as if he was hesitant, Wolfram's blond head appeared over the edge of the giant bed they both shared. Yuri could do nothing but stare at the pale, beautiful face while green eyes stared down at him almost sadly, looking at a loss.

Yuri's brain eventually caught up with him and he tore his gaze away, his heart clenching unpleasantly within his chest as he stumbled to his feet.

Wolfram didn't say anything more.

There were no demands for Yuri to answer his declaration with one of his own. There were no indignant shouts of Yuri being a Wimp and a cheater because he had not answered. The bedchamber was silent, the kind of silence which caused Yuri to shiver uncomfortably. However, Yuri had no idea what to say to make it stop.

The sheets rustled when Wolfram slid back over onto his side of the bed. The left side. Yuri climbed under the covers and settled down on his back, staring intently up at the ceiling.

The moon shone through the large windows across from Yuri's side of the bed.

The fire Mazoku insisted the long velvet curtains were never drawn at night, since Wolfram couldn't sleep in total darkness and enjoyed waking to the sunlight poring over him.

Yuri didn't mind it, and even kept his bedroom curtains open at night when on Earth, and alone. Somehow, it had become a comfort to him, much as Yuri suspected it was for Wolfram.

Wolfram had turned his back to Yuri and – for once, was keeping to his side of the bed.

Yuri felt his gut twinge with nausea, knowing his silence had gone on too long. He had to say something, and he had to say it now.

… But what could he say?

He could tell Wolfram he loved him too, but it would only lead to a huge misunderstanding. And Yuri didn't have the heart to explain that Wolfram was family to him, a very important person, his most precious person but not in the way Yuri thought – ok, he knew how Wolfram wanted him to love him.

Wolfram was beautiful, and Yuri had come to terms with his attraction to his friend. Nevertheless, his attraction was not sexual.

Yuri loved Wolfram's golden hair, his cute face and his shunning green eyes. He loved his smile and his laugh even more for the rarity of them, and even the fire in his eyes when he was angry or jealous, or both.

Yuri loved him with all his heart, but he didn't feel the need to jump his bones when he saw him naked in the bath, thank goodness. Nor did he feel the urge to touch Wolfram inappropriately or in any way which wasn't strictly friendly.

Sure, Yuri wanted to play with Wolfram's hair when it shone gold in the sunlight, and throw his arms around his shoulders when he was being defensive, and he sometimes felt the need to brush his fingers over Wolfram's full and pink lips when he smiled.

Nevertheless, it was purely platonic.

What he felt for Wolfram was indefinable by any description other than it was love.

It was somehow different from what Yuri felt towards Greta and Conrad, and yet it was completely different from the excitement Yuri experienced when seeing a pretty woman.

How could he explain that without hurting Wolfram even more?

That night, Yuri lay awake for hours before finally succumbing to sleep.

His mind was a whirlpool of thoughts and feelings, distorting into memories and dreams which he would forget immediately upon waking.

When he awoke abruptly, he was disoriented to discover the sun streaming onto his face was not the reason why.

Seconds ticked by before the moonlit room provided him with the cause of his unscheduled wake-up when a broken sob hit the silence with the impact of a baseball against a glove.

Yuri immediately stiffened. His insides turning to ice, not wanting to roll over and see Wolfram's beautiful tear streaked face.

Guilt overwhelmed him. This was his fault.

Yuri didn't know what to do. What could he do?

Should he regret not ending the engagement right at the beginning? But then, Wolfram wouldn't have put up with him long enough for Yuri to get to know him. He would not have stuck by Yuri so fiercely, followed him on his adventures, protected him and given Yuri the precious gift of his companionship so freely.

Wolfram would not have fallen in love with him.

It was so selfish, but Yuri cherished Wolfram's love, he really did, even if he couldn't return it like Wolfram wanted.

Yuri loved Wolfram and he selfishly didn't want Wolfram to love anyone else.

The more Yuri thought about it the worse he felt. If he could make Wolfram happy, he would without fail, he truly believed it.

But the problem was Wolfram was a guy, and Yuri was pretty much certain he was straight. He liked girls, and he wanted to get close to one of them like every sixteen-year-old guy did.

He didn't feel the same way about Wolfram, and he couldn't change it and, really, he didn't want to. He liked their relationship (as complicated as it was) as it was.

He was selfish, and he felt terrible.

Yuri didn't know how long he listened to Wolfram choking back clearly anguished cries, and each harsh gasp, each muffled sob stabbed at Yuri's gut like a steal blade. Nevertheless, he forced himself to listen.

Wolfram was suffering because of him, so Yuri would suffer alongside him.

When Wolfram finally quieted and soft snores replaced the heartbreaking sobs, Yuri sat up, careful not to wake his fitfully sleeping counterpart, and watched the steady rise and fall of Wolfram's pink negligee covered chest, taking comfort in the mundane motion.

Wolfram's pale face was blotchy red, the skin around his nose and eyes were rubbed rosy with neglected tears still clinging to long, dark lashes, and his lips were just as puffy as his eyes.

And Yet, he was still beautiful.

Yuri considered it impossible for Wolfram to be anything but beautiful. It was just a part of who he was.

Yuri reached out a tentative hand and gently swiped the remaining tears from those think lashes, feeling them under his thumb like the silky bristles of one Wolfram's soft paintbrushes, still clean and untried.

Yuri thought Wolfram would appreciate the resemblance when considering how much Wolfram loved his art, even if Yuri didn't share his enthusiasm.

Wolfram's cheeks were smooth and soft, and tremendously warm beneath the tips of Yuri's fingers.

Wolfram murmured incoherently in his sleep and Yuri snatched his hand away as if burnt. His breath stilled in his throat as Wolfram stirred but then immediately settled down again without waking, and Yuri let out his breath slowly.

He did not want to have to explain why he was watching his fiancé sleep while gently caressing his face.

Yuri shook his dark head and turned to look out the window. The sun was almost up now and Yuri was wide-awake. He decided he might as well get ready for when Conrad arrived to take him running.

He got up from the bed with care and moved over to his wardrobe, which he opened to reveal Wolfram's clothes attempting to push Yuri's through the oak wall and out of the immense, elegantly carved box.

Yuri smiled at his battered clothing and wrenched out his running suit before closing the doors and leaving his clothes to fend for themselves.

Turning, he stripped out of his pajamas, which he'd had specially made just for him because there was no way he was going to wear the customary "nightshirt" everyone here wore as nightclothes.

Especially after getting an eye full of Wolfram's – ehem, nightshirt which was definitely more a negligee than the customary nightwear, even by Shin Mazoku's standards.

Once dressed, Yuri sat on the edge of the bed to wait for Conrad's arrival.

Looking over his shoulder, Yuri couldn't help but run his eyes over the length of Wolfram, half-tucked beneath the covers while his left leg and torso had somehow fought free of their confine, and Wolfram's right shoulder was attempting to do the same with the infamous negligee.

Then Yuri turned his eyes away, suddenly very interested in the stone floor beneath his "running shoes".

There was a slight burning in his cheeks but Yuri ignored it, as he was wont to do.

He was attracted to Wolfram. He knew and accepted it.

However, nothing had really changed.

NEXT CHAPTER: Time Skip and Yuri's resolve begins to crumble…

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JUST SO YOU KNOW: I don't actually believe Yuri feels this way towards the completion of Season 3 (anime). There's an open affection and a telling softness towards Wolfram which makes me think he is actually coming to accept his more-than-friends feelings for Wolfram by then.

Yuri initiates hugs and touches between them, his pupils blow-up, his face brightening when he sees Wolfram after some time apart, and his eyes droop to half-mass when Wolfram does something caring or attempts to 'confess his feelings' in some declaration or off-handed way. So, yeah. I'd say he's well aware he's in love. ^^

Of course, he MIGHT try telling himself differently like I've written, but truly? I doubt it.