A/N: I found these on someone's profile, and I thought it'd make a cute one-shot collection! :3 There will be about twenty to thirty of these.

Warnings: None.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, nor the characters portrayed.

1.

"When we're mad and we walk away from you, we really want you to follow us."

"Well, that meeting sure sucked balls."

England looked up from putting his files away in his briefcase, his expression disapproving. America was leaning on the table with one hand with a bored look. "Such vulgar language, America. Really."

"Oh, c'mon, it was awful!" The younger nation complained, throwing his head back tiredly, rolling his neck so he was looking at the Briton sideways. "It doesn't get much worse once Spain actually stops smiling at Romano just to glare at the rest of us."

England sighed and clasped his case shut, picking up his suit jacket and tossing it over his shoulder as he left the conference room, America trailing close behind. "Just because it was one of the more lackluster meetings doesn't mean you should talk about it in such ways."

"'Lackluster'?" America repeated in disbelief, shaking his head. "Is that the best 'polite' word you can come up with to describe today? What about... 'messed up'? Or 'horrifyingly dull'?"

"If you had said one of those instead of referring to a blowjob in the first place, then we wouldn't even be talking about this."

"'Suck balls' isn't referring to a blowjob!"

"What do you think it means then, git?"

"... I dunno. But it wouldn't make much sense if it was referring to a blowjob anyway."

"Of course it makes sense!"

"But when someone says 'suck balls' it's a bad thing, and I dunno about anyone else, but you give awesome blowj-"

"If you finish that sentence I'll never give you one again."

America shut up, and England, blushing furiously, hit the elevator button repeatedly. "Anyway, the point is that you should really clean up your language."

"Yeah, yeah..." America sulked, evidently upset at the threat of never having a blowjob again. "I get it... dude, that was so mean..."

"What, my threat?" England grit his teeth. "I meant it. I don't appreciate you talking in public about our activities in the bedroom."

"But Iggy, it's not like it's bad stuff..." America blinked. "And it's not like I go around telling people about it."

"What, you just answer any questions they might have?" England grumbled, hitting the button again. "Yes, that's much better..."

"Whoa, dude, what is wrong with you?" America frowned and grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him around. "Are you okay?"

"I am not okay," England hissed, swatting at his hands. "I want to be alone! The meeting really was bad, and I'm just not in the mood for anything but a cup of tea and nice, long nap."

"Arthur, I'm sorry if I offended you-" Before America could finish his sentence, the door to the elevator opened and England stormed in, hitting the button for the first floor over and over again. America watched him, looking upset, but he pushed away any guilt he might feel and passed it off as him just being tired and cranky. America could deal with it later. The elevator doors closed and he leaned against the wall, sighing and loosening his tie. This was ridiculous... when the doors opened again, he started to walk outside, making it about five steps before a hand closed on his upper arm.

"What?" England seethed, expecting France or someone else, but ended up looking right at America. "Ameri- how the bloody hell did you get down here so fast?"

"Stairs..." America was panting, his face slightly flushed. His grip on England's arm was strong, and he bent over, wheezing. "Five... flights... of stairs... to be exact..."

"Why did you just wait for the next lift?" England asked, exasperated. "Honestly, America, you never-"

"I couldn't... just let ya go...!" America straightened up and smiled winningly. "Even if you're... in a bad mood and... kinda pissed off at me, oh well! Lemme... take you out for tea."

England stared at him. "... What?"

"I said, let me treat you to tea!" America repeated, wiping his sweaty forehead. "I mean, I'll get coffee or something... but then we can go back to the hotel and you can get your nap. Okay? Will that make you feel a bit better?"

England hesitated, and then let a small smile grace his features. "Alright... I think that would be lovely."

America cheered and took his hand, leading him out of the conference center and into the streets. England shook his head bemusedly and let him, listening to his babbling with an air of disinterest, but a soft look on his face.

That git.

A/N: HURRHURR! America... *shakes head*

Read and review plz! :D