I was doing what he asked yanno. Only doing what we promised one another. I was just keeping to my side of the unofficial deal. Trying to show I meant it when I said 'I Love You'.

Maybe it's karma; that's the decision I've come to. Every bad thing I've ever done coming back to bite me. My beatings of him and pranks are fueling his venomous words, the source of his, almost hatred for me. I should probably explain where my thoughts are coming from.

Well you see on the night Freddie and I broke up, we made an unofficial deal, that if I were to "get a little more normal" and although i retorted right back, it doesn't mean that didn't hurt. Him almost telling me the reason we're breaking up is because I'm too abnormal, to weird. Sure after admitting I liked him I checked in to a mental hospital, but I really did think I was going crazy, but i couldn't help but feel like maybe that's how he'd always felt that I was too abnormal and he needed someone more normal, more...Carly.

I quickly retorted "Or you get a little more abnormal" But in fairness it's not like he's the average Joe Bloggs, he's smart and crazy and thanks to his mother; obsessively hygienic, he showers everyday! I guess he could be weirder but we both knew the change if any would have to be on my part. I'd have to be able to be in a real relationship, be maturer, and if it was anyone else in the world, I wouldn't of cared...

Added it to my collection of failed attempts with the male species, but damn it, I loved him, and I thought he loved me...He said it after all, and he said it first, at that moment I had no doubt in my mind that he really did love me. Now, now I'm not so sure.

It all started before Gibby's was opened. The four of us, four being Carly, Freddie, Gibby and myself, stood in the basement of the school, a place i had only just learnt existed. Freddie had seemed...odd...consistently stealing glaces at Carly i thought nothing of it until...

"I'm going to follow Carly up" He smirked

"Wait hold up, Have you got a new little crush on her?" I couldn't keep the desperation out of my voice no matter how hard I tried

"What, Ptff, No, Ptff" He lied. Blatantly.

"Well...Go"

"Bye" He said instantaneously

I don't think I would of been as heart broken if he'd at least tried to lie well, It was like he wanted me to know he loved Carly, like he'd completely forgotten about us, and our 3 months together, and that hurt. I'd be lying if i said i didn't expect it. The fact is it's not the first time a guy has chosen Carly over me. I guess I just thought this time it was different. It was Freddie, we had our unspoken deal, our promise. Apart of me wishes I'd made him ankle swear on it. But the fact he'd gone back, sure we'd tried to move on and not mention our dating because it was best for the group dynamic but he hadn't just gone back to before I'd kissed him at the lock in, no, he'd gone all the way back to 6th grade pining over Carly.

Carly later told me of the events that took place before I found them, Freddie asking Carly if it was too late for her to love him, and I don't know if this is what he means but to me it sounded like, can you get over the fact that I went out with Sam, oddly enough Carly never said anything more than what he and she had said to one another, she never mentioned what her response would of been...

I tried to move on from the ordeal, maybe it was just another crush, maybe I was reading it wrong. Maybe I was making this entire situation up in my head. Or maybe I was right.

I'm trying I really am. I'm trying to be normal, and not get in trouble. My record 12 days, In reward I got a trip to the Canadian Fat Cake factory, and well lets cut a long story short and say it ended with me in trouble, to the point where I needed to be smuggled from the country in a suitcase. I ended up in Malaysia, I'm not sure how, baggage scanning in Canada must really lack. But I had tried, tried to be normal and good, and not a felon.

I even got a Job, after Gibby's was shut down, Billy had gone to the Superintendent and he threatened to fire Principal Franklin, so Gibby's shut down and I got a job at the Pear Store, for more than reason, let me explain.

It was a Saturday Carly and I were hanging out discussing iCarly and after some comical scenes from Spencer and a female snowman and Gibby deciding on deodorant, Freddie entered. He's first words spoken. "Hello good people, and Sam" So what, I'm not good in his eyes. not good enough.

Ok, I'll admit I'm probably over reacting but It's like we're 13 again, like...like when we hated each other. So after a quick remark from me and an explanation or his new job, he decided to hand out pears, giving everyone a pear but me...I held out my hands briefly and after not receiving on casually passed it off, but i couldn't help but feel like he didn't care, I mean it was food, fruit, but food none the less, I'm the first person who should receive any eatable gifts, but yet again I was segregated from the group. It sounds trivial because it is, he didn't give me a pear it's not a big deal, but it's not a big deal to give me a pear, is it?

We decided to visit Freddie at work, I watched his interaction with the customers, and due to one particularly stupid one, I stepped in, I tried to help only to have it throw back in my face. Him telling me to go away and that I wasn't allowed to have my "beverage" I still declare a smoothie is not a beverage. I was only trying to help, he was getting no where and I wanted him to get the sale. The manager soon after pulled me aside and offered me and job. It didn't sit well.

I get it. I'm not the best person to be around and I've done some nasty things to him in my time, but he screamed at my boss about my prison record, because I just love being reminded of my mistakes; the mistakes of getting caught at least. I would understand him not wanting me to work there but it didn't mean he needed to try and convince our boss to un-hire me. I need money more than he does, If I don't have money I can't guarantee food in my fridge and I might not show it but I do feel guilty constantly taking food from Carly's' refrigerator but it's not like I get it at home. He knew that.

And amazingly, I, Samantha Puckett, get promoted to supervisor; I know amazing. I can't help being a good sales person; scamming in my blood, and i guess it came in handy, but he couldn't be happy. No had to cause a scene. Had to scream about how I don't deserve to be promoted or even work here. So i changed the rules. I thought maybe he'd forgotten, forgotten our deal, our agreement.

"We kinda went out for little while" The best 3 months of my life. "He's still in love with me, it's kinda of sad" But the fact is after he's rant about how I wasn't good enough it was painful obvious, he wasn't. I'm in fact the sad one, still desperately in love with him; when he's moved on to...better.

I should of been mad, shouldn't of cared after he pointed out my flaws in front of a packed store, but when before he left he glanced at me with all the sadness and hatred he could muster, because most of his emotions centered around his embarrassment; and it further wrapped around his finger. I know it was his over reaction; but I still felt guilty.

I quit for him, I couldn't work there knowing it was his dream job, or that the boss didn't care about him when I did, or that as long as I continued to unintentionally ruin things for him he'd hate me. So I quit, forget the money; I'll get it other ways. I just want Freddie, the nub, Fredward.

But at the moment I'm not going to get it, I haven't finished my side of the deal, and it seems like Freddie has forgotten all about it.

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