I don't own anything! not the charctecrs or the book this is base off of. this whole story is set in the futher(after collage) but the first chapter and just a little bit of the secound is just the past so you know Emily's Background. This is a Emily and Maya story it's just that they meet each other way after collage. it's a really good story. Emily life in my story is diffrent in this story she has a lil sister umm read and review and of course oh and p.s the only names I will be using from the show is Emily parents, Ben and Maya. Everyone else is just made up characters.

ENJOY :)

What i called "lesbain episodes" in my life go back to high school. In high school i was very laid back ,a swimmer , kind of above avarage student who was easy on the eyes and you can say I was about five-eight. i had an aura of confidence, which was hidden behind a pronounced feelings of insecurity; i knew my name and where i lived, but didnt really know who i was.

I was a little confused at times becuase i didn't fit the few lesbian stereotypes i saw on tv and the local news. i didnt look like a boy or feel like one on the inside, but i did know i had no attraction to boys. i didn't know i was attracted to girls, though until Simone approached me. Siomone Daniels was about about my height just a little taller then me and had a sprinter's body. she had full luscious lips and long brown hair that she wore pulled back in a neat ponytail. She was a senior and the star of the Rosewood High track team. Not only was she smart and beautiful but she'd received a full academic scholorship to UCLA. Simon's nickname was tease because she flrited all the time. i think it was every guys goal at Rosewood High to sleep with Siomone Daniels. None of them ever got anywhere with her though.

one afternoon i'd just finished swim practice and she'd just finished track practice. We both had towels wrapped around us and were headed for the showers, when just by chance we made eye contact. I turned away embarrassed by what i felt at that moment. For the first time in my life this warm and tingly sensation went through my body, then i felt moist with fear. Oh my god i thought,what was all that about? Simone looked at me as i stood stunned.

"What are you afriad of Emily Fileds? I'm not going to bite you. My name is Simone," she said as she offered her hand to me. "i'm on the track team." "I know who you are" I said as i accepted her hand,thinking she knew exactly what had just happen to me "No you don't know who I am. You just know what I do." I was surprise "Okay...what's that supposed to mean?" "Hey listen Emily, I've been watching you since your freshman year here and i know what your all about"

How could she possibly know me when I wasn't sure myself? "Know what?" i asked

"That you're just like me. You're in that life"

"What life?"

"You know...'family'"

"I dont kow what you're talking about"

"Come on Emily aren't you a lesbian ?"

At this point i hadn't mastered the game of denial and retreat. I hadn't learned how to lie about my soul, nor did i know that there was something wrong with telling the truth about who i really was. I said "Why whould you ask that?"

She simply laughed, "Gay people know each other. it's called 'gaydar', lilke radar. We all have it I know you're new to this but you'll learn. Don't worry about me, our secret is safe."

Simone awakened something in me that day. Something that was as real to me as the color of my skin and the certainty to my death. I always knew I could never change those things. I also knew that in my soul i could never change who i was. After that, Simone and I became best of freinds. We spent a lot of time with each other hanging out after school. I got a lot of attention when i was with her. I'd go to her track meets and she will go to mine swim meets. Then the rumors began. I can only assume people thought that because we weren't having sex with every Harry, William or James.

But in the beginning it wasn't like that at all. Our freindship slowly evolved into a realtionship, and by the end of the school year we were emotionly and sexually consumed with each other. Out first encounter was so natural for me. It was effortless, unlike what i experinced with guys. It never dawned on that i was holding and experiencing another girl for the first time. Each embrace, touch, kiss and moment as if we were one person. Like the times when you were alone with yourself and you know exactly what makes you feel good. We always knew what and where to touch. Of course with all the time we were spending together are parents became uncomfortable with our realtionship and began to make excuses as to why we should't spend so much tome together, They often said we needed to establish other friendships.

Simone eventually went off to collage and i entered my senior year of high school. When Simone left. I felt so alone with my soul it was as if a part of me left with her. I kept to myself and looked forward to her letters. I could only call her when my parent's were out. We vowled to be loyal and faithful to each other. Nethertheless, the distance became difficult and the track couch became a mentor. The sparation from Simone was killing me and I eventually confided in Ms. Adams about our realtionship. She was surprisingly understanding to the point of comforting. Before i realized it I was spending every free moment i could with her. I wanted to be around anybody who would listen to me talk about Simone. She'd give me rides home after swim practice. Her presence filled the void of Simone's absence.

One hot humid night she'd taken me to a track meet and afterwards we stopped by Daiy Queen for some ice cream. Told her how much i appreaciated her listening and not judging us. she just shook her head as if she really wasn't listing right then. After a few moments of silence while sitting in the car she reached over and kissed me on the mouth. I was stunned to say the least. I didn't move...I didn't know what to say. She looked at me shamefully , as she realized she'd crossed the point of no return.