Chapter 4

Pablo ran off with his creepy lawyer. Despite being annoying, refusing to stop the constant singing of the "I love you," song, and having absolutely no brain cells, Barney was a very good lawyer. Whenever anyone threatened to sue Pablo for playing with his power tools, Barney would duct tape them to a wall and sing about, 'We're a happy family' until they 'forgot' about Pablo and his power tools. If that didn't work, Clove would throw empty cans of Mountain Dew at them.

So, generally, Pablo never got in trouble when Barney was by his side. But one day, when Barney and his past clients were going to recruit others, an adorable little puppy came out to play. Again, the other Mountain Dew addict (Pablo kept forgetting his name. Was it Catie?) pooped in his pants. But it was okay because Barney made him wear a Pull-Up with Tinkerbelle on it.

"Barney!" Pablo screamed. "Catie is stinky!"

Unfortunately for Pablo, this made Catie very mad. He used Barney's duct tape to attach Pablo to the sidewalk. But Barney came and easily picked him up. "Now, now. Remember your anger management class. What did you learn? Do your breathing exercises."

After a few minutes, Catie came back to Pablo. "Prepare… for… DORA!" he screamed as Clove came over. Together, the reenacted every single episode of Dora the Explorer ever televised, including the introductions to all of the online games. Of course, Pablo felt his brain melt the first time they sang the theme song. Their horrible voices ruined the already terrible excuse for a song.

With his lessened sanity, Pablo got a new idea. As soon as he was untaped, he ran off in a random direction. "I'm Luna Lovegood! Follow me, and we'll find the Nargles together! Do you see them? If you do, don't worry!" He then started to use a dreamy, whimsical voice. "You're just as sane as I am."

And so, Pablo ran off to the outskirts of town. He expected his lawyer and new friends to follow him as he began a new life as Luna Lovegood, but they were too busy finding more people to duct tape to random sidewalks.

But Pablo didn't care. He was excited. He had always dreamed of starting a new life as a random Harry Potter character with questionable sanity. In fact, his kindergarten teacher once had the class draw a picture of what they want to be when they grow up. Pablo drew a picture of himself as Luna. It was also the first day he got sent to the principal's office; some random kid told him that penguins can't grow hair, making Pablo looking just like Luna impossible. Pablo was furious, and literally threw the kid through a wall.

So when Pablo saw Luna, who also ran away while chasing the Nargles, he reacted like Catie. In other words, he started to hyperventilate and was suddenly glad that his mommy the crazy penguin lady still made him wear diapers.

"Hello," Luna said to him in her trademark dreamy voice. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

Pablo nodded as vigorously as a bobble head. "Of course! Anything! Actually, before you ask, I do see them, too!"

"Oh. That's nice. But actually, I was going to ask you-"she took a deep breath. "WHY ARE YOU STALKING ME?! Don't deny it; we were in the same kindergarten class! What, did you think I went to Hogwarts my whole life?!"

So Pablo ran away crying. This was exactly what his mommy always told him- Luna is a person, not something to obsess over. Pablo learned his lesson, and instead became obsessed with Voldemort, also known as Creepy Snake Guy.