It had all been bittersweet – the day Kotetsu left Sternbild to go be with his family, which was the same day that Nathan threw that retirement party which was actually a going-away party just called a retirement party because no one wanted to think about the fact that Wild Tiger would be going away, was also the same day that Barnaby's heart shattered to dust.

Kotetsu knew that Barnaby had a lot to think about, especially after the true murderer of his parents had been revealed to be the only man Barnaby had ever fully trusted. Kotetsu also knew that Barnaby would likely be in therapy for months, probably years to fully recover all of his memories. But what Kotetsu did not know was that Barnaby cried himself to sleep the night he left for Oriental Town.

And what Kotetsu didn't know was that Barnaby wasn't just a crybaby who would tear up at the drop of a hat, a man so deeply troubled by his life that he would faint from sheer exhaustion and aching in his heart, but was instead a man who cried himself to sleep because he was in love.

Barnaby didn't even know it himself, until that night when Kotetsu left him all alone.

Just as suddenly as the veteran hero had forced his way into Barnaby's life, he had left everything they had made together and Barnaby had returned to his own personal hell once again. He shed tears that night and clung to his pillow, entire body wracking with sobs, because he felt alone, abandoned, and betrayed. And through those tears he realized that the bond he had formed with Kotetsu had not been one solely of friendship.

His mind tortured him, memories of his partner whirling through his head and only reminding him of what he no longer had. Memories. How funny that they only seemed to hurt him more, now. Perhaps Maverick had been on to something when he had erased them. Regardless, there were memories of Kotetsu he would never be able to push away, and there was no longer anyone to erase them for better or for worse. Barnaby dealt with those thoughts on his own that night. Completely and utterly on his own.

Curled up into a ball on his bed, tangled in blankets and holding on to the ugliest and most precious birthday gift he had ever received, that stupid pink rabbit, he found himself whispering. The words were incoherent at first, and he didn't even realize he was speaking them as he soaked the pink fabric of the rabbit through with tears and practically tore the seams from holding onto it so tightly.

Clearer and clearer his words became, and as the whispers came to make sense, so did his thoughts.

"I love you, Kotetsu."

I am so in love with you and I want to be yours.

"I wish you hadn't left, Kotetsu."

I want you to come back for me and tell me you'll never leave again.

"I've never felt better than when you hugged me good bye tonight."

Feeling your arms around me is the only thing that's ever made me feel whole, and you were so warm I would have been happy to have stayed there forever.

"We really were the best team ever, and I love you so much."

And now that you're gone, you'll never know it.

"You really are clueless, you stupid, perfect old man."