It was around midnight. The night sky was clear and no moon was illuminating the place. No cars were seeing even in front of our division of the TSAB in Mid-Childa. There was a nice hot wind that warmed my cold body. I had a large case at my foot that waited for me to take it. But I needed to wait. The call of my commander was what I was waiting for. I couldn't get impatient, no. For it was indeed my last day on Mid-Childa: therefore, my last mission ever.

You must be wondering why it was my last mission. Well, let me tell you a story...

– Creation of Riot Force 6 –

Hayate Yagami was the Lieutenant Colonel and the creator of Riot force 6 which I just started to work for. I first fought against her, then with her like equals and finally under her orders. She was my second best friend and like a precious sister to me. I would still trust her with my life if she didn't break that chemistry we once had...

My team was composed of four other girls.

Signum was my sub-commander of the Lightning Squad. She was my rival ever since I first met her on the battle field – because we were so not friends back then. We always found a way to understand each other, even if we almost had nothing in common.

The other sub-commander is Vita, from the Stars Squad. I don't particularly know her, but she was a good girl and was always there for all of us.

My best friend was Nanoha Takamachi and she was the Combat instructor. She worked mostly with Vita while I was with Signum. She was the most promising girl in the TSAB. Always giving her two hundred percents every time, she was a real machine – a real prodigy. I met her when we were nine and never leaved her side since.

And most of all: I loved her.

My life couldn't be better as we started our new division. I was living in a huge dorm with her as roommate. My work was easy, not overloaded. I was just nineteen and my life was simply bliss.

Until that day...

Nanoha didn't come home that night.

I knew she had a meeting with another division about trivial things, but she was late. Whenever one of us couldn't return home, we always called or leaved messages for the other. But she didn't.

After I put my pajamas, I sat on our big bed – because yes, we shared one, much to my happiness – and I was worrying and wondering if something could have happened.

Maybe she had an obstacle... Or Hayate asked her to stay... but then she would have called me... Maybe something did really happen! Like she got caught in a rubbery or she was being raped by four men! I didn't even notice that I was now pacing promptly around the room until I received a call that jumped me out of my reveries.

"This is a video call from Nanoha, sir. Should I open it, sir?" I heard Bardiche with his metallic voice.

I soon had a light blush running over my cheeks as I noted that I was caught lost in my thoughts of impossible situations. "Please, open it."

The screen then showed me a flushed Nanoha with unknown surroundings behind her. Without knowing, a little grin was slowly growing as I saw her. She then smiled clumsily at me. "Hey Fate-chan, you'll never guess what happen!"

I shocked my head as I laughed. "Well, no. I don't need to; I bet you'll tell me anyway."

"Mou! Don't make fun of me~! Nyahahah, I met Yuuno-kun at the meeting." She said proudly to me.

It was then that I lost my smile. "Oh..."

"He asked me over his place earlier and I didn't know the time flied as we were chatting and having so much fun!" She blushed more. "It was this late when we realised it and he proposed me to sleep over! He didn't want me to walk into the night." I never saw her smiled that brightly. "Nyahahah~ he's still caring as ever."

"That's... good to hear..." She didn't notice my voice broking – and I thank the gods for it.

I heard noises over the screen. "I should be going, he finish the preparation of the bedroom for us- for me! Nyahahah..." Nanoha tried and failed miserably to cover her slip of words. "Good night Fate-chan!"

"It's alright Nanoha. Good night." The communication shut down, as well as me.

The floor was the most interesting thing in the world then, because I swear I was seeing through it. I was kneeled, my two arms held me from falling. My whole cheerful world was breaking down on me over one single night.

"Do not be sad, sir. Things will get better, sir." Bardiche tried to cheer me, but no words could shut down the sorrows I felt that day.

– A few years later –

Our unit had four new members by then: Caro, Erio, Tiana and Subaru.

Caro and Erio were children that I took care of. Basically, it was to put my mind away of Nanoha, but I began then to love them more and more. They were great kids. They followed orders they knew it was right to do so and not only by force. Caro was shy mostly all the time, making her cute while Erio was trying to be her knight in golden armor. They were my foster family and I cherished them with my life.

Tiana and Subaru were in Nanoha's team. They were teenagers that always gave their heart in combat. Tiana wanted to be like me, an officer, and so I began to know her more. She was devoted to her learning while Subaru was always making fun of everything. The two of them made the weirdest team I knew. However, in a couple of months, they would certainly be one of the greatest duos.

Work began to be difficult and stressful. We had more missions, with less time between two. We had good times at the beginning – well, most for the others, I had many trouble thoughts spoiling my new happy life...

And those thoughts were projected on Nanoha, as always.

Nanoha was not only starting to act weird around me, but even to everybody else. She blushed over anything, or would laugh out of the blue, and was mostly always lost in thoughts. I was worrying, again, and fussing in my mind, again...

Why is she always confusing...? I bet it's all about Yuuno...

And I was right – as always.

Yuuno invited her over more and more with all kind of excuses. I could bet he tried them all. The bureau then started with those rumors that I really didn't want over my own depressed thoughts. "Those two will marry soon" or "I heard them the other time in her office" or "I saw them kissing the other day, I swear!"...

And Nanoha was giving me all sorts of reasons for her lateness or absence. Almost six times a week, she was out to have fun with her so-called 'boyfriend'...

Why doesn't she just tell me that she's going to see him instead of lying all the time...?

And one day, on lunch break, I was sitting with all my friends and we were chatting of nothing and everything. At some point, we were talking about Nanoha and Yuuno.

"I still have a hard time believing they will marry in a few months..." Hayate shoot at no one in particular.

I stopped eating – even breathing. My eyes went wide and I turned to her. "What did you just said...?" I murmured.

"I said that I still..." She stopped herself as she realized my reaction. "Oh Fate-chan, I'm sorry! I didn't know you weren't told... She told me that about a week ago... I swear that I thought you were the first!"

I smiled weakly, but inside, I was broken. I received then many pity looks from my co-workers, but I didn't care about them then. Signum even wanted to add something but I shook my head at her. Then, I stood and excused myself to walk away, far away from them, from everyone.

I didn't want to be there anymore – didn't want to exist anymore...

Why Nanoha... Why... Why wasn't I told that you were getting married by your voice...?

I always had wondered which was the most hurtful: being told by our love one or by the others...

I knew then. Being told by your friends, a few days later was the worst feeling ever, until being present to the wedding...

I didn't remember how I had made through the day and went home to change myself into something more comfortable, but I couldn't care less. I sat down on the floor and brought my knees to my chest to stare at the wall for the rest of that night... and each night after that too...

– A few months later –

It was the evening before the wedding. Another sleepless night to come... I sighted inwardly.

Nanoha didn't come home since she 'announced' me officially that Yuuno proposed. She had packed all her stuff and went away that right night. My heart tightened. She went away just like she had come...

I knew Yuuno wasn't a bad guy – no, he was so great, so perfect, that I couldn't say or think anything against him. He would bring happiness to Nanoha, something that I couldn't give myself. He would be a great father to their future children. I guess I just can't compare...

The night simply passed as that day finally came. All day long I had prepared myself to be the best looking, to be the most beautiful.

And the time came for me to go to the party after the wedding – because it was a private one. I went there with Hayate, Reinforce, Vita, Shamal, Zafira and Signum. The ambiance was perfect, the food was good, the couple was cute and even I smiled all night long – not that my smiles were real ones.

Nanoha then came around our table to talk to us about her bachelor party she wanted.

"I guess work took too much place... And that Hayate didn't want to betray..." She laughed with her commander as I was confused.

"Nanoha-chan wanted to know what a girl felt in bed, but I didn't want to." Hayate grinned at the brunette.

I couldn't take it. But I smiled to them either way. The night just felt longer and meaningless to me. I could swear that Hayate just had betrayed me that night, even without doing anything.

I could feel the constant gaze of a worried Signum, but I didn't put much attention. The evening went from happy to heavy and I just wanted one thing: get the hell out of there the sooner. Signum answered my wish as she took me out with all the gang.

That night, I didn't wanted to be alone, so I stayed at Signum's. She asked me if I wanted to talk about it, but I pushed the question away, saying I was tired. And it was true; I haven't had a real 8hours of sleep for ages.

That night, I sleep weirdly: I felt destroyed and used while I felt secured and loved by my dear friend's house.

... And this brought me here tonight, two years after their wedding. I haven't sleep nicely ever since. Destroying little by little the rest of my sanity.

I had decided to take vacation, long-life vacation. I then asked Hayate's superiors to put me in another dimension, where my mind could be at peace. They accepted and even take the 'blame of putting me away'. Of course, only Hayate and Signum knew about it. And of course, they were also against it. But I made my choice clear.

I shall be disappeared that night.

"There's a call from Hayate, sir." Bardiche told me.

"Open it."

A sad Hayate popped. "Are you sure about this Fate-chan?"

"There's no point in arguing this now, Hayate."

She sighed. "I'm sending you the coordinates." She paused. "Please, think over it..."

"Thank you for all those years Hayate..." I was cut by Bardiche.

"Upcoming call from Signum, sir."

I sighed. "Open it."

An expressionless Signum appeared. "Is it really what you want Testarossa?"

"... Yes."

"I guess there is no chance or place for me to change your mind. I wish you good luck Testarossa." Signum looked as she was about to cry – some uncharacterised thing to do for her. "There's really nothing out there for you, but I won't stop you. Good bye Testarossa." The line cut.

As if you're making this easier Signum... I smiled at Hayate that started to cry.

"Don't be sad Hayate. I had a good life. It is now the time for me to retreat."

"But you are still so young! Please don't do this!" Hayate begged.

"Good bye Hayate." I stopped the communication.

"Is that really good, sir?"

I smiled at my worried device. "Yes, it is the only way."

I took the case and took a final look behind me as if I wanted for one of them – especially one – to chase me. I sighed as I returned to my objective. I created a teleportation circle – I had learned by the years to make one on my own, without help from Arf.

I let down one last tear as I walked through it, not knowing where it would bring me.

A/N

I guess this is kind of really sad ; _ ;

I've just made this one, on a sleepless night... Kind of my RL experience...

I've changed many things, hope it was ok

Hope you've like it!

PS for those who follow one or many of my other stories, I'm still doing them, just really slowly and I apologize for it!

Until next time!