So the weekend passed without much more drama. Robin will forever remember it as one of the most painstaking ones she has ever had—everything she did from that afternoon on was deliberate. She swore she wouldn't let herself get carried away again by feelings and impulses. Everything she did afterwards—going to dinner stoically, making an effort with Pete, trying not to dwell on things—she did so fully aware and conscious.

XXX

She sees, though, that Barney and Quinn seem to be less themselves than usual.

Perhaps it's just her, wanting Barney to feel as lost as she did (does). But then again, they aren't as sickeningly sweet, not as touchy, and there's a subtle irony in their tone when they speak to each other. And the other day, she'd overheard Barney complaining about an argument they had had over living arrangements to Ted—something about Quinn wanting a nice house for their future family, not an apartment as small as his. He stopped talking about it as soon as he saw her.

Not that she should care anymore. She shouldn't—Barney and Quinn are a normal couple and they're allowed a rough patch. It won't change anything. And even if they do break up, she has enough pride to think she won't just fall back into him so easily.

'We were just talking about furniture,' he said. She met his eyes and looked away quickly, unable to face him and feel nothing, turning to Ted instead. There was a glimmer of hurt she caught briefly.

'So how are you and Victoria?'

And the awkwardness was somehow alleviated by Ted's multitude of stories of how happy he was with Victoria, and for once, Robin listened. She had to listen. And when Pete came to pick her up for their date, she still couldn't bear to look at him.

XXX

She spends her days studiously avoiding MacLaren's. Out of sight, out of mind. That's the idea, anyway.

What she doesn't know is that Barney goes every day without fail hoping to catch her there, hoping to explain himself and talk to her.

It's not long before it hits her she can't go on with Pete. It's clear he feels more for her than she does for him and it isn't going to change, that he's ready to take the next step in their relationship and she isn't. It's just not the right time for her. And it's not fair, she knows, to keep him around because she likes his company and doesn't want to be alone.

But with each day that passes, Robin is more convinced that she has to end things soon, for both their sakes'.

One night as they're having dinner, he beats her to it.

They've just finished a nice meal and are eating dessert. He leans forward a little, biting his lip.

'Robin, I really like you,' he says gently. 'Really. But let's face the facts here. We're not going anywhere and I'm not the guy for you. You've known for some quite time. You can't tell me that's not true.'

Robin feels an overwhelming gush of surprise and relief coursing through her. 'I'm sorry.' She's terrible at this, without words to say. So she tries to be honest. 'You're a really good guy. It just—I don't know, it doesn't quite fit. It's not something I can point out.'

He nods. 'I don't blame you. Don't be sorry.'

'I hope we can still be friends.'

'Of course.'

What is wrong with her? He's one of the better guys she's dated along with Kevin. They are guys she didn't deserve, guys who were perfect but not perfect for her.

'And I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I know there's another reason why we didn't work.'

She raises her eyebrow. 'Which is?'

'Barney.'

'Pete, I didn't—'

He waves it off. 'No, I'm not saying you cheated on me—'

'I didn't,' she insists. He nods, accepting her answer.

'And I believe you. I'm just saying that it's pretty obvious there's some sort of thing between you guys. All those looks he gave you, and me. And I can't really explain it, maybe it'sa cop thing, but you're different around him too.'

She only shakes her head, forcing a smile. 'You're wrong there. There's nothing between us.'

'But you guys have a history, don't you?'

'Well, yeah, but it was a long time ago. We dated for like six months a few years ago.'

'Misleadingly simple.'

'Relapsed last November.'

'What happened then?'

'We were both with other people. It just happened. He left his girlfriend, and I was supposed to leave my boyfriend. But I didn't.' Surprisingly, she doesn't mind talking about this now, not to Pete. It's refreshing to be able to talk about it to someone who has no previous knowledge about her and Barney, who won't pass it on to someone she knows.

'Why didn't you?'

She shrugs. 'I guess I panicked. I overanalyzed things—the guy I was with, he was a really good one and with him, there was a clean slate.'

He grins. 'Like me? Poor us. We didn't stand a chance. And poor Barney!'

'Poor Barney is engaged now,' she reminds him.

'Poor Barney is still in love with you.'

'How could you say that?'

'Robin, I'm a guy. And a cop. Barney's not unreadable.'

'Well, believe me, he's moved on.' She doesn't want to tell him about that weekend she confessed she still loved him. But maybe it's only fair to tell the truth, right? That's what people say, anyway. 'I told him how I felt a few weeks ago. I know it was wrong, I'm sorry, but I wasn't thinking straight.'

He doesn't skip a beat. 'During the weekend we went out of town?'

'How'd you know?' she asks, frowning.

'You guys were acting different, quieter, during dinner. After that, you never went back to the bar. That was when things clicked in ym head.' He pauses for a few seconds. 'You know, it's different when you know you couldn't have done anything. I couldn't have changed how you felt about Barney even if I tried.'

'Neither can I, and I've tried everything.'

When the cheque comes, she reaches to pay for her half, but he stops her, eyebrows crinkled and smiling.

'Did you really think I would let you pay?' he asks jokingly, before giving his card.

It's a bittersweet goodbye. 'I really am going to miss you.'

'So will I.' He turns serious, shifting a little in his seat. 'Robin, do you know how I became a cop?'

'No, I don't,' she answers, wondering what the connection is.

There's a change in his expression, a sudden darkness crossing over his eyes. She looks at him and realizes what he is about to say is something that isn't practiced, something that still hurts.

' When I was in college, my best friend was a girl I'd known and loved since high school,' he starts. His voice is quiet and reflective and a little sad, too, she thinks. 'But I was dirt poor then and I wanted to wait until I had made something of myself to tell her how I felt. One night, she was with some of her girlfriends at a convenience store when it was held up. But the cops, they made things worse, made the guys who were robbing the store panic and start shooting. She was shot trying to help an injured kid. That one night changed my life.'

Pete doesn't need to say explicitly that what he's telling her is not to give up on Barney. But there's nothing to cling to anymore. It's too late and the window has passed, and that's something he doesn't understand.

Outside, he calls her a cab, saying he'll walk home to clear his head. They have their last kiss. As she ducks into the cab, she takes one fleeting look at him, filled with a heaviness that it had to end. Maybe a few years ago she would have celebrated this return to freedom. But things have changed and so has she, and she has never felt more alone and lost.

Reviews please? This was a fun chapter to write. I've been busy lately, sorry for the late update.