No you're not imagining things I assure you.

I realize it's been a very long time since I updated this. Life has been a roller coaster these last few years. This story was originally inspired by that snippet where Cat is drunk and Tori helps her before her wedding. The idea sprung up from the banter my best friend and I share, she just recently married.

This story has always been in the back of mind and I do apologize for the long wait. I have all intention to finish it. You may have to bear with some updates but I do have the next couple of chapters ready. This one in particularly has been on my computer for years. And well, at last here it is.

Thank you everyone for not giving up on me and motivating me :)

I hope you enjoy.

"At night when the stars light up my room I sit by myself

Talking to the moon…"

Part II

Time. It's always been a difficult thing to understand. How does easily it manage to slip away? How does it fly by without a warning? It was those questions Tori often asked herself.

Fresh air filled her lungs in the late evening. The cool breeze felt refreshing against flushed sun-kissed skin. The day had been a long day at the farm. Running was just the thing Tori needed after everything that had happened. She'd been officially back home for two weeks. David and Holly had surprised the young Vega with a small dinner the day of her arrival. All her old high school friends, including Andre, Beck, and Trina, had been present. They'd been the ones to help the older Vega's organize the entire evening.

Tori was feeling too overwhelmed those days. Her mother's condition had remained stable through the past weeks. It was nothing unusual for David, but for Tori it was too much to handle. Though she tried to put on a strong front Tori knew Holly could see right through, down to where she was struggling to keep from crying as she watched her mother waste away. Holly could hardly stay awake with the new medications they had her on. She'd managed to stay awake for Tori's dinner. As soon as the dinner was over though, Holly was out like a hawk.

Beck and Trina had gone over the next day to check up on the young Vega. They knew the illness affected Tori more than she really wanted to show.

Tori had hardly slept properly the first few days back home. Her mind constantly wonder about blue eyed woman. The way eyes had looked at her after discovering the news of her departure haunted her constantly, deprived her of sleep and sanity. It was still too painful to recall the woman's name, to speak it.

Tori knew she'd hurt her, she'd caused the azure eyes to fill with tears, the smile to fade away.

As the air continued to burn her lungs Tori forced herself to continue running. She had to get away from the memories, from the headaches, tears, pain; all of it. She hardly noticed herself approaching the small town as she continued to run.

Blue eyes were wide with confusion. The woman opened and closed her mouth in attempt to understand what Tori had just told her.

"You're leaving?" Jade finally managed. "But you'll come back right? I mean for school and for Cat?" For me, remained unsaid.

Tori kept her gaze hard as she did her best not to show any remorse for her decisions. "I don't know," she whispered. She wasn't being completely dishonest. She wasn't sure.

"What do you mean you don't know, Tori? You must know if you'll come back. Do you not want to come back?" Jade was trying to be understanding. She didn't want to get upset. She wanted to be reasonable about the entire situation. It had caught her off guard of course, but deep down she understood. Tori's mother was ill and Jade knew it had been affecting the younger Vega more than she really wanted to admit.

"Jade please," Tori whispered. She'd sounded so small, so unsure of herself.

She'd known this would come up eventually. She'd have to tell Jade she'd be leaving but could she really tell her how much she doubted her return? How she was sure she wouldn't want to return, not when it meant her heart would have to continue to break each time she saw the way Cat looked at Jade. Not when she couldn't be hers. No, she couldn't tell Jade how much she feared she might never return after her mother...after.

"You're not coming back," Jade realized.

She was silent for a moment as the news sank in. Tori would be leaving soon. She had to go because her mother was ill. Blue eyes locked with brown as Jade closed the space between them. She looked directly into the auburn eyes and smiled sadly "Just take care of yourself, Tori," she whispered. She kissed her temple, her lips lingered for a moment before she finally stepped back to look at the woman once more. Without another word she left the quiet apartment ignoring the aching in her chest as she walked away from the woman she loved.

Fresh air filled her lungs in the late evening. The sun was just visible across the horizon, the sky colored with the trails of orange and yellow it left behind as it slowly descended. The cool breeze felt nice against her flushed skin. The day had been a long one. Running was just the thing she needed after everything that happened. She'd been officially home for a month. The holidays had gone smoother than expected honestly.

Cat had gone down to visit. She'd travelled alone, told Tori Jade was back home visiting some family. Though Cat hadn't really mentioned it Tori could tell the woman was a little relieved her girlfriend had been unable to make the trip. Cat had stayed for a few days before having to return to prepare for the new semester.

"I really hope you do come back, Tori." Cat had told her sincerely. "We really miss you."

Tori had forced the lump in her throat down to keep from crying at Cat's words. She really wanted to return, she did, but it was complicated. And Cat understood. Tori hated how much she understood.

A red truck passed by as she met the end of her trail. There was still a long way to continue to run but deciding it was best to call it a day before it grew dark Tori turned back to head home.

"Isn't it a little late for you to be out?"

A short but sweet update. I'll try to update again in the next few days.