5.14.12

ohhhh lawdy I saw this lovely comic on tumblr by madeofcola - (/) post/23042019069/so-i-heard-everybody-hates-to-see-bolin-die-i and I was like "OH GOD MY - MY - MAKORRA FEELS" and I decided that I needed to write a fic... yeeeaahhh

and at this point we don't know if Asami's an Equalist or not, but for the sake of this story I'm going to pretend that she's not. Who knows? If she does end up being an Equalist, we can just pretend this is in a slight AU. xD

He isn't a squeamish person, not at all - he has learned on the streets that that was just something he had to suppress, because being squeamish was not an option - but even he feels his stomach turn when he sees the blood soaking through her clothes. He drops to his knees, panic bubbling inside of him. "Korra - " he begins; stops, tries again. "Korra, don't worry - Bolin's going to get help - " To his own ears he sounds small and helpless, and he hates it, not being able to do anything.

She smiles at him, a sad smile, an expression that he has never seen on her face. "Mako," she says softly. "It's all right. I have done my job. You... Everyone... is safe now."

"Not you," he says, and his voice sounds strangled. In a haze of panic he pulls his scarf off from around his neck and presses it to her wound, trying to stem the flow of blood.

Korra tries to laugh but winces. "It's okay, Mako," she repeats. She lays her own hands over his, halting his frantic movement. Her breathing is heavy, forced. "I've done my duty. It's okay."

And he wonders why she's the one comforting him, why he can't be the one comforting her. He grits his teeth, fighting the burning at his eyes. Even now - even now, she is strong. "No," he says roughly, pushing her hands away. "No, it's not okay!" He refuses to believe that she, Korra, always so tough, seemingly invincible, is slipping away from him now. And that she is no longer fighting it.

"Mako..."

He ignores her, trying to wrap his scarf around her, trying to do anything, anything he can to keep her with him. His throat feels painfully tight, and the hot sting at his eyes brings back memories that he has tried so hard to forget. Only one other time has he felt like this in life, only once... when he had lost two of the most beloved people in his life. When he been left alone, cold, homeless, helpless - barely old enough to take care of himself, much less his brother.

He looks at Korra's face to see that her eyes are closed now. "No!" he says, and it comes out almost a snarl. "Korra. Korra! Keep your eyes open."

She opens them, baleful blue piercing right through him. "Mako, there's no use," she says. "You and I both know this."

"Don't say that," he snaps, and his breathing is ragged as he struggles with himself. "Remember? I owe you - for - for helping us get to the championships - I still - I still have to take you out to dinner, take you to see places you've never been... to buy you flowers..." He's shaking. He can feel it, feels as through he's grasping at straws.

This time she does laugh, though it causes her visible pain. "Me? What about Asami?"

He's almost angry at Korra for bringing something like that up - can't she see? Can't she see that she is so much more important? "She - " He struggles to find words for his thoughts. How can he explain it? "She's a good friend. That's... that's all she can ever be to me. I know that now." And he hates himself for not letting himself realize this earlier. The money... the beauty... that was what had gotten to him first. A way out of his struggling lifestyle, a way to help himself and his brother.

He liked Asami - he really did - but he knows that he'll never feel that same sort of aching, burning passion for anyone but Korra. Korra, wild and unruly and obnoxious but charming in her own way. Funny and cheerful and resilient and so strong and so determined and so eager to protect those she loved. Who did not treat him any less well when he had turned her away, when he had pushed her feelings back into her own face... She had simply kept going, too strong to back down from life from a simple defeat like that.

Mako reaches up to brush Korra's matted bangs from her eyes as he applies gentle pressure to her wound with his other hand. "Just think," he says quickly. "Think of all the things we need to do. I gotta take you to see the Of Heroes and Wolfbats at the Juchang Theatre. The city at night - you've got to see it from above. And a ferry ride - you'll love it - " He's almost pleading with her. Let me take you to see these things. Let me have that chance.

But she's shaking her head, and he can't believe it, that she has given up. "Mako," she says quietly. "You and I both know that nothing anyone can do will help."

No. No. The world is spinning around him. It's not happening. His vision blurs; tears sting angrily at his eyes and he furiously wipes them away. He has to remove his hand from the pressing her wound, he's shaking so badly. "Don't - " he chokes out. "Korra, please - " He looks at the ground, hot tears sudden rolling down his cheeks in anger and disbelief and guilt and grief... and heartache. He hasn't cried like this in years, not since he was a child. The tough wall he has built up around him all comes crumbling down in this one moment. All because of her.

"I'm sorry, Mako," she says, and when he looks up at her face he sees that she has silent tears running down her own face now. Strong, beautiful Korra... he has never seen her cry before. "I wish..." She doesn't finish her sentence.

Mako knows what he is wishing for. Praying for. He just wants her to be safe. To be healed. Healthy and strong. He swallows. "I - you and I - I think we were meant for each other - "

She smiles at him, so sad, so tired. "Hey, I said that a long time ago... you still remember."

"Of course," he chokes out. "Of course I do. You - are going to be - okay." He's barely able to get the words out, his breathing heavy. "You will - be safe."

"I feel safe with you," she murmurs, and to his alarm he hears her voice becoming weaker.

"You will be safe. You will be," he says, feeling more as though he is reassuring himself instead of her. "Bolin, where are you?" he growls under his breath. He can't leave her to find him; he is burning with impatience. Every moment is precious, and every moment is slipping away from them. He returns his attention to Korra, who is shivering now. "Here," he says, and he moves to sit behind her, letting her use him for warmth and support.

"Thanks," she says quietly, and she doesn't say anything more. He is worried, terrified for her, but he forces himself to remain calm as he awaits Bolin's return.

And then he hears them - "Mako! Korra!" from behind him, and he turns to see Bolin running as fast as he can, using the earth to help carry himself along. And there is Tenzin right next to him, the air around him churning as he propels himself forward alongside Bolin. Relief floods through Mako at the sight of them. Tenzin. He can help them. Surely he can.

"Thank the spirits," Mako groans softly as Bolin and Tenzin stop in front of him. They both drop to their knees in front of Korra. Tenzin's face drains of color when he sees the wound she has sustained, and with shaking fingers he undoes a brown leather pouch that he has brought with him.

"From the Northern Water Tribe," he says. "My mother - my mother brought it back with her from a journey there many years ago. It's - spirit water from the Spirit Oasis." He withdraws a slim crystal vial, and inside Mako can see the water, sparkling clear. "But - you need to be able to heal using water - and I cannot. Korra must do it herself."

Mako swallows. It's their only chance. "Korra," he says, but when he looks down at her, he sees that her eyes have slipped closed again. "Korra? No - open your eyes - please!" he says desperately, and he pats her shoulder, trying to wake her. "Korra!"

It's happening again. That tilting of the world around him... like he is about to fall off the edge. Strange shapes and colors and sounds around him, all blurred. The feeling of loss so impenetrable that he can focus only on Korra, once always so strong but now looking weak and fragile in his arms.

His body is shaking with his tears now, and he doesn't care that Bolin and Tenzin are seeing him like this. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does. Plip, plip. A tear lands in her hair, then another one. He smooths her hair back, holding her to him, furious at her for giving up, furious at the world for letting this happen, furious at himself for failing to protect her.

"Ma... ko?"

She says his name so slowly, so quietly, that at first he thinks he has imagined it. But then Bolin shouts, and his voice is so full of hope that Mako hurts inside even more, to know that his little brother has been so devastated too at the prospect of losing Korra. "She's awake!" Bolin cries, and he leans forward. "Korra, Korra! Look, everything's going to be okay. Look what Tenzin brought!" He points to the crystal vial.

"Wassat?" Korra mumbles as she struggles to keep her eyes focused. Mako's initial relief at her waking disappears. She's so drained. How can she heal herself in this state?

"Holy magical water!" Bolin says. "Look, all you gotta do is heal yourself with it, and you'll be fine!"

"What?" Korra says, and she cracks a smile. "Bolin, I don't think that this is just something that I can heal that easily - "

"Korra," Tenzin says, "this is water from the Spirit Oasis. My mother gave it to me."

A look passes between Korra and Tenzin that Mako can't quite understand, like there's something that they know that he doesn't. But he's past the point of caring. All he wants is for Korra to be okay.

"The Spirit Oasis?" Korra repeats, and to Mako's intense relief she straightens up slightly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Tenzin says, and somehow Mako gets the feeling that Korra's not asking about if the water really came from there. There's something else, some other meaning behind her question. "You know this, Korra."

There is doubt on Korra's face, but she relaxes it. She holds her hands up, and weak though she is, Mako refuses to give up the flickering hope he has inside of him.

"All right," Korra says. Her voice is still so quiet. "Let's do this."

Tenzin uncorks the bottle, and with a small movement of her hands, Korra bends the water from the vial. They all watch in a tense, baited silence as she draws it out in a clear, sparkling stream. Mako prays that she can hold it.

She wavers, and for one terrible moment Mako thinks that she's going to lose it, but she recovers and he breathes a sigh of relief.

"Focus, Korra," Tenzin says tersely.

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" Korra asks, slightly irritably, and she sounds almost like her old self again. With slow but steady movements, she brings the water to her wound, and they watch as that eerie blue glow surrounds her hands. Mako can feel an intense hope licking at his insides as he watches. It's working. It's really working.

Her breathing is growing heavier, though, and he realizes what a toll it must be on her strength. She hadn't properly left the Avatar state when she had been hit, and so had not been able to properly control her spiritual energy. "Keep going, Korra," he murmurs, and to his surprise he sees her brow furrow in resolve at the sound of his voice. She is pushing, fighting. Not only for herself, but for him. For Bolin, for Tenzin, for her loved ones.

The blood is stopping, Mako sees. And this realization brings such complete and utter relief to him that he wants to get up and shout to the world about how happy he is.

"Heh," Korra mumbles. "I feel a little better now. Wow, who would've thought?" she asks. She looks up at Mako, grinning slightly. "Guess you were right, huh?"

He manages a weak smile, so relieved but still scared. She returns to focus on her healing, and Mako finally relaxes. He exchanges a small grin with Bolin, who nods and gives them a thumbs up.

"Ah - " Korra gasps, and Mako's attention returns to her. Fear stabs at the pit of his stomach once more as he sees her trembling.

"Korra?" He and Bolin and Tenzin all say her name at once.

Her hands are shaking, and Mako can see that she's having a hard time keeping them steady. And then, as if in slow motion, he sees them fall to her lap and that blue healing light disappear.

"No!" Mako says harshly. "No - Korra!" To his horror he sees that her eyes are closed. "Wake up!" he says, but this time he knows that she isn't going to.

"Mako - " Tenzin says, " - wait."

Mako doesn't want to wait, he wants Korra to open her eyes now, to tell him that she's okay, because things had been going so well and she had been healing herself and she was going to be fine -

"Korra?" says Bolin in a small voice, and he reaches out and lays a hand upon her arm. "Korra?"

There is no response. "Do something!" Mako says hoarsely to Tenzin.

"She's alive," Tenzin says softly, as if he's afraid of disturbing Korra. "Look. She's breathing."

Mako's emotions have been strained too much - he's tired. The adrenaline has worn off. He wants to collapse there on the spot, and suddenly he feels lightheaded. Maybe the fighting had taken more out of him than he had first realized... he's lost some blood, too, but it seemed trivial compared to Korra. There's that ache in his side that had been sort on the edge of his realization but must have been much more serious that he had thought... he touches it and his hand comes away wet with blood.

"Mako?"

Bolin's voice sounds like it is coming from far away. Mako opens his mouth and tries to say something, but then the thought is lost. Bolin's worried face hovers over him, and Mako wants to reassure him, to tell him that his big brother's okay. Just like he always had been telling him for years. But this time the words don't make it from his mind to his mouth, and the last thing Mako sees is those worried green eyes.

so the implication was that Korra has heard how Katara healed Aang with the spirit water when he was hit by Azula while he was in the avatar state... you know, being the current avatar, it's likely that she's heard that story

and so she was doubtful that it would work, and she was asking tenzin if he was sure about it

so yeah

I don't even know if what I wrote about korra trying to heal herself after being mortally wounded while in the avatar state could even be possible, but hey... that's what fanfics are for, right? 8D

this was originally going to be a oneshot, but then I decided that maybe it'll flow a little better as a twoshot.

also, I got lazy. lolol.

so next chapter will wrap everything up. :)