The Drunken Demon of Zero

AN- this is an idea I had when coming up with ideas for a work and I thought why the hell not. The idea of an eternal drunk familiar is something that seems like a hilarious idea so here we are.

Hakurei Shrine, Gensokyo-

The day was shining and there were few clouds in the sky. The shrine, which was run by the Shrine Maiden of Paradise, was almost completely empty as the Shrine Maiden was out getting her shopping done to restock her supplies of food and tea. On the porch of the shrine sat a little girl who was drinking from a gourd. The girl had long ginger hair which was tied with a chain which was attached to a blue cube on the end, wore a tattered white blouse with long purple skirt, and a belt on her waist and chains on her wrists with a red pyramid on one and a yellow sphere on the other. The greatest feature she had though were the horns on her head which signified she was not human with ribbons on both horns one red and the other purple. She was Suika Ibuka, an oni and one of the four devas of the mountain, and she was enjoying her sake.

The land had become peaceful after the scarlet weather rhapsody incident so she was kind of bored. She then saw a portal appear in the middle of the shrine and she was interested to say the least. She noticed that the portal was different from the gaps that Yukari Yakumo made as there were no ribbons or eyes in the gap but it was a mixture of bluish green. She was drunk at the moment but then again she was always drunk so she figured why not take a look and see what was on the other side. But before she left she wrote a not to Reimu saying,

"I am off to investigate a mysterious portal so will be gone awhile. If I'm not back by the next festival then have Yukari come and get me. Suika Ibuki. P.S. whe you come and pick me up bring lots of alcohal as there will be a party to celebrate my departure"

She then decided to turn into mist and enter the portal. It then closed off behind her leaving behind the note held under a tea cup

Academy of magic, Tristain, Halkegenia-

The academy of magic was a large castle with 5 towers each devoted to teaching the art of magic. Today was a special day as the second years were summoning their respective familiars, magical servants that would serve their master all their lives, and many varying creatures were summoned such as dogs, cats, mice, and even up to dragons.

Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière was a second year student who was about to summon her familiar. She was known as the zero as she had practically no success in the magical arts and she had to make it up with learning about the depths of magic and its theory. She was ignoring the jeers and calls of her classmates and was about to begin when her teacher, a balding middle aged man named Colbert, said,

"you may begin miss Lousie."

Louise then raised her wand and began to chant her spell to summon her partner saying,

"You who exist somewhere in this universe, I implore you to appear before me, My powerful, wise, and sacred familiar. Please appear before me and aid me!"

Then a large explosion occurred and everyone was knocked on their buts beside Louise and Colbert and when the smoke cleared they were all shocked. There appeared to be a thick mist in the area and those who could feel it felt that was a strong force in the mist. Then something unexpected happened and the mist gathered into what appeared to be a small girl. The girl appeared to be human but what shocked everyone was the fact she had horns on her head. The horns made it clear she was not a human but something different. The students were backing away from the girl and those close enough noticed the blush on her cheeks that came with enough alcohol making it clear she was drunk. Colbert had his staff ready when the girl raised her hand in a friendly gesture and walked Louise with a drunken walk while drinking from a large purple gourd.

Lousie saw the little girl walk toward her and she was somewhat scared until she saw the girl pull out a red bowl out of her shirt and pour what appeared to be a clear liquid from the gourd into the bowl and offer it to her. She took it and saw a look of expectation from the girl and she drank it but was surprised to say the least. It was very tasty but realized it was alcoholic and her eyes started blurring and her mind having small gaps in logic. She smiled at the girl who smiled back and the rest of the people there started to relax including Colbert who said to Louise,

"Miss Louise please finish the ritual. We would like to be done here if you don't mind."

Lousie then gathered her thoughts and set up to finish the ritual of the familiar but the girl who had a wide smile suddenly had a blank look on her face and was thinking rapidly. She was shocked when the pink haired girl suddenly kissed her on the lips. She was drunk sure but this was unexpected. It ended quickly but then her hands burned as runes on both her hands and they almost resembled oni script to her eyes and the bald man suddenly appeared and inspected them even writing on a sheet of paper a copy of the runes. The students then appeared to depart by flying but Lousie walked on the ground toward the castle and her horned familiar simply followed while taking sips from her gourd.

Academy of Magic, Suika POV-

Suika walked with the girl who summoned her and committed to memory the places she walked around leading her to a small door and the little girl walked in followed by Suika. There was a bed and a few other pieces of furniture and there was a balcony. Suika being drunk as always was being silent and trying to understand her situation when she saw her summoner sit on her bed and tried to speak to her. The word tried being in effect as she couldn't understand what she said yet it was getting clearer by the second. Suika kept on drinking until her caller got angry at being ignored and pulled out her wand, aimed at her and let out a spell thus resulting in an explosion. When the smoke cleared she heard clear and understandable words saying,

"Do I make myself clear Familiar?"

Suika let out a wide smile that could be mistaken for being a trickster and said,

"I understand you now so could I have a repeat of that long speech you had?"

The girl let out a cry of surprise yet she composed herself and adopted a look like an interviewer saying,

"Well now that we can talk I was asking a few questions about you. First are who and what are you as I can imagine you are not human? The second being is you the mist that appeared after my summoning? The last being what are you capable of and will you be my familiar?"

Suika drank some more sake getting even drunker and she looked at the girl as if sizing her up and said,

"My name is Suika Ibuki and I am an Oni and one of the strongest ones ever! The mist you saw earlier was me simply spread out over a large area and one of my powers. The last one is simple as I am incredibly strong as nothing is stronger than an oni and what do you mean by familiar? By the way, who are you and do you have any booze or wine as I want something different to drink?"

The girl looked surprised at the questions but composed herself saying,

"My name is Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière and I am your master as you are my familiar, a magical servant summoned by magic. I have no clue what an oni is but can imagine it is some kind of magical creature and as for the alcohol I don't have any but there should be some somewhere in the academy but you will have to search for it."

While Louise was talking she was getting undressed and threw her clothes into a hamper when she was naked she got into the bed and said to Suika,

"I want you to wash these clothes tonight and wake me up at 8 oclock tomorrow morning. Do you understand me familiar?"

Suika gave her a disapproving look before she simply said,

"You really don't know how to deal with oni don't you? You simply can't make a demand to an oni and expect them to obey you blindly. You got to prove your worth to an oni before they will listen so before I do anything for you there must be a test.-"

Suika was about to continue speaking but a pillow hit her head and it slid off to reveal an angry Louise with her wand pointed at Suika saying,

"You Will Obey Me As I summoned you thus making me your master! What do you mean there is a test! You dare expect that you are going to test me, A Noble!"

Suika had been listening and was surprised that the little girl, Louise, was similar in some ways to Reimu, the only person to defeat her, and decided to make the test easy for her as she didn't want to have to deal with another possible Reimu Hakurei. She then interrupted with a serious look on her face saying,

"It is the way oni are as we pride ourselves on being strong even stronger than humans so to beat an oni is a great achievement. I will give you a simple test and the test is to impress me one time. You have some time at least a month until the test is over. The wager is simple you win and I will serve as your familiar willingly and lend you my strength to whatever you want accomplished or you lose and I will abduct you back to my home for a while before I let you return home after a year or two. So do you accept the terms or will we simply part ways here and now?"

Louise was shocked at the statement and her mouth simply hung open but she worked up the nerve to speak saying,

"So the goal is to impress you but how will I know if I win? You could simply lie and say that I didn't impress you and claim your victory? And if I lose then I am abducted away to Founder knows where that is a cruddy deal!"

Suika frowned heavily at that statement and the room filled with dread and Louise clamped her mouth shut and stared at the oni and she said simply with an even more serious look,

"Oni never lie as that is how we have lived priding ourselves on honesty and it was the deception of humans that caused oni to part from humans. But If you want to feel sure then I will promise on my title as a "Deva of the Mountain" that when you truly impress me that I will tell you. I swear that if I lie then I will serve you as best as I can."

Louise simply gave a blank look at the little oni and sighed but held out her hand and suika looked at it and grabbed it and shook her hand. The two smiled at each other and both could tell that they might be able to make this work as Louise knew the oni gave her a chance to win and Suika knowing that Louise had the ability to win. Louise then remembered that she had made a small bed out of hay for her familiar before the summoning and decided that instead of risking a possible fight she would let her sleep with her. Suika took one last swig of her gourd before offering it to Louise who also accepted and drank a large gulp and Louise went to bed with a blush on her face as Suika took the clothes hamper to be washed as she figured a place this big had to have some servants after all it was bigger than the Scarlet Devil Mansion and they had a lot of fairy maids.

Suika was walking down the stairs when she saw a boy with blonde hair with a rose in his hand flirting with a girl with a brown cape. She simply ignored them and continued on as the two ignored her as well. She then found a girl with black hair in a maids outfit and she walked up to her and poked her to get her attention. The girl turned around and saw Suika but when she saw the horns she looked shocked before passing out. Suika guessed that either she was really surprised to see her or she knew that she knew she was an oni and was scared. She put down the hamper and got out her sake jug and drank some before having her drink some. She coughed before waking up to see a smiling Suika. She almost passed out again but she tasted the sake in her mouth and calmed down. The girl asked meekly,

"Are you going to kidnap me?"

Suika laughed heartily and smiled at the girl saying,

"No as I would like you help as I got some clothes to have cleaned and I don't know how to wash them. Help me out and I'll help you out in return. Besides I can tell you know what an oni is so that alone will keep you safe from me."

The girl smiled and got up on her feet and bowed to Suika saying,

"Thank you for relying on me and I will have these clothes cleaned by the morning so I take it you are Miss Louise's familiar?"

Suika nodded and the two parted ways and Suika walked back to her masters room before heading to sleep in her master's bed.