The Symbols of Loneliness and Jealousy

Summary: At yet another festival, the goddess of dead leaves lets the wind take her away. Before she is fully embraced by the sky, an underground visitor draws her eye.

Chapter Rating: T

Disclaimer: No, Shizuha is not a breed of dog, nor is Parsee something that is used to garnish a plate. Even though parsley is delicious, which does make one wonder. Moving on.

Shizuha sighed, staring at the collected group in front of her. It was that time again, when the celebrated mike of the Hakurei Shrine had another of her festivals. Not one of the typical festivals, like the cherry blossom viewing earlier in the year. No, instead, it was a one to celebrate the resolution of the most recent of incidents.

The young looking goddess sighed and dusted the hem of her dress. These things were truly a bother to her. She didn't mind being out and about now, in the heat of the summer, but it's not where she wished to be. She'd rather be back near her home beside the river, basking in the shade of an old oak, hiding from her sister's exasperated calls to come help her with the farm

Still, she was here, and she had to make the rounds at the victory celebration. Rather, it was more of a grand meeting of all of those whom Reimu has defeated in the past. All of the important people from the most recent years came. She could remember them quite vividly. The vampire from the new old mansion across the lake, the ghost princess from the netherworld, the living princess from the bamboo forest… And quite a few others.

In all honesty, it was a power play by the miko. She wanted everyone to remember what it was that connected them, originally. She wanted them to remember about how she had defeated them. That even the best of swordsmen, the highest of native gods, and the devils that lurked beneath the earth's crust had to fear the human.

Well, technically the human witch had done a great deal of the work too. But that was of no consequence to the group, as everyone knew that the miko kept her under her thumb. As much as was possible, at least. Still, even though there was still a tad bit of latent tension at the Hakurei, the youkai and goddesses and demons came, accompanied by the rare human in their ranks. It was an opportunity to commiserate with each other, and hopefully to make new alliances and possibly even friendships.

That was why she and her sister had come, after all. The goddesses on the mountain, the Moriya along with the thrice-damned Yasaka, had joined the celebration in an attempt to weasel their way further into the newcomer's lives. She had heard some rumors that the Yasaka was actually the cause of the whole incident, which made her wonder why the Hakurei didn't give her a personal visit, as well. More likely than not, she had simply believed that she had expended enough effort, and had gone back to days of drinking tea.

Yet, she and her sister wanted to come meet these newcomers. While they had been present at the sealing, Shizuha herself was unaware of the youkai that were forced underground. It was not her dominion, as her sister, and occasionally herself, were worshipped mainly by the humans. She blessed them with bountiful crops, strong children, and long life, in return for their continued worship. Shizuha, on the other hand, was tolerated at best.

A goddess of the end is not appreciated by the short-lived humans, as what type of blessing could she give them? Humans have always been scared of meeting their end, as they did not truly understand what waited beyond. So, she kept to herself, only showing when her sister requested it. And then, only if she felt like it. It drove her sister up the wall, but it was worth it in her opinion.

She did take her duties a little too seriously, at times.

But as for now, she had grown tired of this party. She had made the rounds, following everyone else. None in the delegation had seemed interested in talking much, if at all. The spider youkai and her friend were being fought over by Nightbug and Melancholy, who both want her to go off with them. The latter itself is an especially odd case. The oni that the delegation has, of course, is off drinking with the shrine's resident oni.

The Satori was an interesting person, despite the fact that she was rather quiet when she bade her greetings. The pink haired one gave her but a quick look, saying that introductions were hardly necessary, as we both were only performing the functions out of a sense of obligation. Her only other words to the autumn goddess were to treat her sister with more respect, as she should be lucky to have one that is still able to care.

Shaken from her curt tone, Shizuha left the party to think, barely paying attention to the hell raven being fawned over by the Yasaka and some kappa. Glancing back from the edge of the woods, her eyes caught a glimpse of movement. Towards the back of the shrine was another satori and one of the vampires, all being watched over by the witches. A small smile crossed her face as she watched the two youkai floated up into the air and began to summon the all too familiar orbs of light.

"They're having fun over there, aren't they?" Muttering to herself, Shizuha floated into the air, smoothly darting towards the tree line. She knew that danmaku was quite nonlethal, yet still did not want to be shot by it. The sting was not a pleasant sensation, and even goddesses did bruise.

Still, she debated simply leaving. Even though Minoriko wished for her to come and join in, she had made the required rounds. Would anybody truly miss her if she left? "Too bad it isn't autumn. A nice bed of leaves would be pleasant now."

As she twirled towards the forest, though, Shizuha stopped herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small figure also sitting at the edge of the clearing, staring towards the shrine. From this angle, she could only see the back of her head, blonde hair barely covering the nape of her neck. But the slouching form, along with a barely concealed bottle by her side, spoke volumes. Glancing back at the forest, she sighed again, a tight smile coming over her face. Gently touching down a few feet away, she clasped her hands and said, "Hello there, I don't believe we've met. Who might you be?"

The small form jumped, whipping around her head. Glowing green eyes met soft brown ones for a second, narrowing in suspicion. "And who are you? Somebody that Satori sent to take pity? Or did Yuugi decide that I needed to stop moping and join in the party?" With a snort, she spat out, "Either way, the answer is no."

Shizuha shook her head, gazing back across to the shrine. "Hardly. I was just leaving now, actually. But I figured that you might like some company, since you were sitting here by your lonesome."

The blonde haired girl searched the goddess, before eventually shrugging. "Eh, not like I particularly care. Never was much of a fan of big get-togethers like this. Everyone always trying to one up each other, trying to see whose balls are bigger." For the first time, a grin cracked her face. "Like any of us have any. That witch though… Do wonder sometimes."

Laughing softly, Shizuha took the tacit invitation and sat down on the ground, curling her legs up beside herself. "I think we all do. Although, that is one subject whose answer I do not particularly care to find out, either."

"Agreed." The blonde girl turned back to the crowd. "So, who are you supposed to be anyways? You don't look like one of the bigwigs around here. Ain't no way they'd have let you gotten away from all that."

With a small shrug, she answered, "Perhaps. It is one of the good thing about not being one of the big names." Raising an eyebrow, she asked, "However, I believe I asked for your name first. Isn't it polite for you to answer first, then?"

The girl leaned back on her hands, laughing softly as she stared at the sky. "You're the one who intruded on me, darling. And manners? Frankly, I don't give a damn." She turned back to Shizuha, smirking. "Besides, isn't it the polite thing to grin and bare it at a party you're supposed to be attending."

A grin crept across her face. "I suppose it is. Well, my name is Shizuha Aki. The goddess of dead leaves." Grabbing her skirt, she lifted it slightly before dropping it. "I would get up and curtsey, but if we're abandoning all pretenses of decorum…"

"Heh, for an upworlder, you ain't so bad." She snickered to herself. "But a goddess of dead leaves…. can't be worse than my job." Suddenly, she stuck her hand out. "Parsee Mizuhashi. Guardian of the Bridge No One Crosses."

Taking her hand, Shizuha shook it firmly. She was surprised at how rough it was, "It doesn't sound too bad, save the part about nobody ever using it. Why is that the case, though?"

Parsee absently watched her for a second, eyes on the smaller girl's hands. Under her breath, she muttered, "So soft… I think I'm jea-" Her hand came up and slapped her cheek. "Stop that, now ain't the time." Avoiding Shizuha's eyes, she answered, "Erm, no one ever comes across because no one has been to the surface with any sort of regularity in decades. At most, I have the occasional visitor who gets sick with alcohol poisoning, going to see Yamame." Suddenly, she barks out laughter. "Imagine that, oni getting alcohol poisoning, from drinking too much. Tells you what they do all the time, eh?"

Shizuha frowned slightly at her initial remarks, but cast any thoughts aside. "Yamame? Isn't that the spider youkai? Why would they go to her for something like that?

Parsee simply grimaced. "She can manipulate diseases. Nasty little thing, if she wanted to hurt people. But she's ain't like that, so she helps them instead." Muttering to herself again, she clenched her hands and stared at the ground. "I wish that I was able to do something useful like that."

Shifting about onto her side, Shizuha looked at the girl. "What do you mean by that? What is it that you do?"

Looking away, she said, "Nothing good." Plastering a fake smile on her face, Parsee turned back towards the goddess. "So, how exactly do you know Yamame? You chatting her up back at the party."

Shizuha shot her a look. "That's unnecessary, you know. The only reason I know the name is because I overheard it. Two other youkai were fighting for her attention earlier."

"So, even Yamame has someone jealous over her?" Parsee let out a strangled sounding laugh. "Ain't that something. But sorry, darling, didn't mean to get in your face. I just can't control myself at times." With a short glance back, she asked, "So, who found the little spider interesting?"

Still giving her an odd look, Shizuha eventually turned back and looked over to the shrine once again. "A bug youkai, by the name of Wriggle Nightbug. I think she wanted her attention because she was a kindred youkai of some sort." After shrugging, she continued. "The other was a doll youkai. Medicine Melancholy." Shizuha frowned. "It's odd, because there are very few living things she tolerates. I've known that a fair few humans, and even youkai, are killed by her

"What would a doll want with her though?"

The goddess waved her hand. "You said she has control over diseases?" After a short nod, she continued. "She has control over poison. Maybe since her power is similar, the doll thought that she could help her?"

Parsee hummed to herself. "I suppose that could be the case. Don't see Yamame helping her though. Almost too nice for her own good. As much as a spider youkai can be, though." A small chuckle issued from her throat. "It's a wonder they let a creature that nasty out in this above world, though. They shoved the rest of us underground for a reason."

Shizuha nodded absentmindedly. "I think I remember that time… It was centuries ago though. It wasn't my job, so I didn't pay too much attention to it."

A raised eyebrow met her statement. "So you're one of the old Gensokyo gods? Not one of the foreigners?" She laughed once more. "Well, I'm not exactly a native either, so I ain't got much ground to stand on."

A small smirk covered the goddess's face. "I'm surprised that something like that would stop you."

"Ain't that the thing, darling."

After a long moment of silence, Shizuha decided to answer her earlier question. "But yes, Sister and I have been around for a long time. I'm not quite sure if it's been an entire millennium yet, but the years do seem to become meaningless after a while. Even if you are a goddess of a particular season."

Parsee snorted softly to herself. "Heh, you make something like that sound almost mundane." Raising an eyebrow, she looked closely at Shizuha. "You've a sister, though?"

"Yes, I do." Shizuha's eyes turned back towards the shrine, an odd little smile crossing her face. "Sweet little Minoriko. She tries so hard to be a proper goddess… Even in these times."

The green eyed girl nodded absentmindedly. "Heh, I gotcha. But wait a second…" Her eyes unfocused, trying to remember something in the corner of her mind. "Minoriko… Aki? The harvest goddess?"

Looking down, Shizuha's ears reddened slightly. "Yes, that she is. I was unaware that she was that well known underground… Usually only the humans pay attention to us."

Eying her, Parsee brought her hand up to scratch the back of her neck. "Not particularly. I… used to be human, before we were sealed underground. The harvest festivals were one of the things I remember pretty clearly from before I became a youkai. I wasn't aware that you were her sister."

"Not many are." Shizuha looked away from the other blonde. "I've always helped her behind the scenes… At least, when I did at all." She sighed, and stood up, walking towards the tree line. "She's always been so lucky, being a goddess of the harvest. She is able to bless the fields to give plentiful bounty. She could do the same with the rivers, whose fish would seemingly leap into the hands of the fishermen who sought them. And she once was able to perform even greater miracles, blessing special children to grow up to be tall and strong. And even abstract concepts were not out of her control."

Floating up into the air, she reached for a leaf hanging on one of the low branches. Plucking it off, she flew back towards the grassy spot where she had previously sat. "However, in my case, I can only bring about the end of something. Where she can begin…" She held up the leaf in her hand, before letting it go to float in midair. The green in the leaf melted away, giving away to a splotchy mixture of red and yellow. "I end."

Parsee looked up at the goddess, before plucking the leaf out of the air. "You don't sound particularly like someone who would care too much." Her eyes stared at the leaf for a second, with that same strange expression coming over her face. "Still, it's been so long since I've seen this. Never know how much you miss it…"

Her eyes suddenly turned to Shizuha. "You're more than a goddess of dead leaves, aren't you?"

The goddess nodded in response. "In the same way that Minoriko is more than a goddess of the harvest. They are merely labels that have been applied to us. In my case, I encouraged it." She sighed. "I don't want to be feared, simply because of what I am. Better for the people to think me simply useless, instead of something to fear."

"I suppose I can sympathize." Suddenly, Parsee snorted. "Naw, I sure as hell can. That's what a good number of us wanted. Those of us who cared about such things." She sat quietly for a few moments, the strange smile covering her face. "You're jealous of her, ain't you?"

Shizuha nodded. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't."

"Don't be." Shizuha's head snapped around, seeing a pained expression on her face. "Trust me on this, darling. It ain't exactly good for you if you allow it to define yourself." Parsee's own eyes fell to the ground. "Trust me on that one."

Shaken somewhat by her words, Shizuha knelt down and put her hand on the girl's shoulder. "I take it there's more to the story than you've told me?"

The girl chuckled darkly. "There's always more to the story. Just, do you need to know it?" She shook her head. "I reckon you might as well though. But think for a second. What kind of youkai do you think I am?"

Shizuha shrugged to herself, before sitting down next to her. "Not quite sure, actually. You mentioned that you were a human at once, and the only other one I know that is similar is that one magician girl, at least for the non-feral youkai. But I don't believe you're one of them. If you were, the witch that we all know and love would have already recruited you for her… posse."

"Perish the thought." The grin that had appeared on her face slowly faded away. "But you are right. But maybe that's a good thing, and maybe the rest have forgotten…" She sighed, odd expression creeping back onto her face. "Like a bridge princess has the luxury to forget."

Staring at her companion, Shizuha knitted her forehead. "You're… jealous, that they're able to forget what you are? And you've almost said you're jealous a few times… And bridge…" Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Hashihime?"

"Right on the mark, darling." Parsee looked back at her, green eyes glowing. "Damnable thing that I did… Not like he didn't deserve it…" She looked away again, shoulders drooping. "But it's something I regret to this day. When I can."

Startled by the sudden move, she flinched away, but didn't make a move away. "I suppose I shouldn't ask about him, but what do you mean when you can?"

She shrugged at Shizuha. "Exactly what you think. You might've figured out what I can do, but the power of jealousy…. Is a terrible thing. Especially since, at times, the jealousy has power over me, not the other way around." She blinked, and finally looked away. "'Swy I was sitting over here. Sure, I'll still be jealous, but it ain't like there's a big crowd of people over here, going on about all their small problems, not considering how lucky they are. With the grass and trees and fresh air and blue skies…"

As Parsee seemed to get lost in her diatribe, Shizuha leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Parsee, you can stop. You shouldn't be like this…" She gulped, before saying softly, "You're up here now, aren't you? There's nothing to be jealous of."

For a second, Parsee stiffened, before releasing a sigh. "That's a lie. You know it, darling. And I know it." Slowly, her head turned around towards the goddess', a soft smile on her face. "But it's a lie I think I needed. More than what the oni and satori can give me, down in the darkness."

"I'm glad I can give it then." With that, she finally removed her hand, before fixing her skirt. Sitting there, the two stared at the dying sky, as twilight gave way to the inky blackness of night. As a crescent moon bathed the ground in soft, pale light, Shizuha finally broke the silence. "It's nice to have company for something like this, isn't it?"

Parsee nodded slightly in the darkness. "That it is. I've forgotten what it's like. Forgotten too much."

Shizuha smiled slightly, unseen by her companion. "Well, maybe I can help you remember a bit more of the good things then, friend."

Green eyes glowed slightly as they flickered over. "Maybe you can." After a few more minutes, however, Parsee sighed. "Damnation, looks like they're finally breaking up. Didn't even bother to pull an all-nighter?" She shook her head, standing up. "Ain't that a shame. Would stay longer, but since only way I can is if that hag lets me…"

Nodding in understanding, Shizuha also raised to her feet, brushing off blades of grass that had stuck to her skirt. "That it is. I suppose it would be foolish of me to ask if I'll see you up here again?"

"Doubtful. Unless you bother to drag that damn bridge up here with you." She sighed to herself. "It ain't like I'd be adverse to some company, though. So if you are around and have the time."

Shizuha nodded to her. "Of course, I can come down and-" She was cut off by a finger on her lips.

"Don't say it. That way, I won't be able to get jealous over it." She lowered her hand and turned away. "Well, I'ma heading off. You be taking care Miss Aki; maybe I'll be getting time off for good behavior."

"Please, it's Shizuha. You should know I'm not a very good goddess." With a small grin, she bowed her head. "Until next time, Parsee."

With that, the goddess watched as the green eyes receded into the black, before turning around to the forest. "Minoriko will be home soon, anyways, and she'll be bothering me about what I've been doing. Perhaps I'll share my story with her upon the morrow. But for now…" As she flitted between the trees, she slowly faded into the dark, indistinguishable from even the greenest of leaves. There was nothing that remained to mark her passing, as only her voice carried as if spoken by the wind itself. "I need some time alone, to think."

A/N Howdy all again. Been away for a little while, and I haven't written too much. Got a couple of half-written oneshots clogging up my desktop, so I figured I'd start finishing and posting them. This is one of the ideas I've had sitting around, as it's more of a slice of life kind of deal, with no big grand plots/ancient (or Moriya Shrine) conspiracies going on in the background.

If you're wondering, this is the same Shizuha from my Soliloquies, but it's not the same Parsee. That Parsee is too vengeful for a normal (relatively) person to help, as she needs special care. This one, if I didn't explain enough, is a simple remorseful woman who took a power so that she may have vengeance for a slight against her, and regrets what it has done to her. As much fun as neurotic Parsee can be, I'd rather try one that's not even quite at tsundere levels. Anywho, enough rambling.

As for why Shizuha speaks so properly and Parsee has a southern accent? I have no earthly idea. I made the one Gone With the Wind reference, and it kinda snowballed from there. Not to say I don't like the idea of southern Parsee… Hrm. Now I have to have a scene where someone from the SDM runs up to Remilia, shouting Miss Scarlet, Miss Scarlet! I know nothing about birthin' no babies! Maybe succubus Koa, as it'd be ironic. Or Sakuya losing her cool. I should stop thinking these up, so I don't end up writing more.

And on that note, first normal disclaimer in months! Yeah, if I give everything a CNN release, I'll run out of ideas. Just the way it is.