Another squeal of laughter pierced my concentration. I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration. Fixing this bow was trying enough, without all of that commotion going on outside.
Peeta was playing with kids out there. They loved to drop by the bakery, for warm cookies and Peeta's equally inviting smile. He was always so good with them.
It was painful sometimes. Seeing him beaming, eyes shining, when there were kids around. I would always feel a sharp pain in my chest every time a parent would ask, "So, when are you going to have some of your own?" or "Isn't it about time you had some of your buns in the oven?"
But I had already made up my mind. I'd always known that children were not for me. And Peeta respected that.
Speaking of Peeta, the big blond baby had just come running into the house. I glanced up and didn't even try to stifle my laughter. He looked like a small child trapped in an adult body, cheeks flushed and hair messy.
"I was just coming in to check on you. It's awfully quiet in here," he said, still grinning.
"I'm great. Trying the best I can to fix the string on this bow, but it's a little hard with all of that racket," I responded, raising an eyebrow but unable to keep myself from returning his smile.
"Oh, really? I haven't heard anything. If I see anyone, I'll tell them to keep it down," Peeta shot back, keeping his face and tone very serious.
I was just about to reply with some witty comeback when the sound of smaller footsteps interrupted me. One of the children, Susan, had come running in from outside. Her long blonde hair was tied back in a braid, not unlike my own, and her blue eyes were shining. She was clearly quite pleased with herself as she shuffled over to me.
"Hi Mrs. Mellark!"
It was then that I noticed her hands were behind her back. I glanced at Peeta and he shrugged.
"Mr. Mellark told us you were sick!" I shot Peeta a glare. He always made up excuses when I didn't want to come play, because he didn't want the children to think of me as cold or mean. Thoughtful, but still a lie.
"Oh, oh yeah," I said, coughing. Not very convincing, I could tell from Peeta's muffled laughter, but I only had to fool a five year old. Susan didn't hesitate to sigh in sympathy.
"So, we picked these for you! So you would feel better!"
Her arms moved from behind her back and I felt my insides go cold. The smirk immediately left Peeta's face. Clasped in her tiny hands were the stems of primroses. Of my primroses.
Peeta quickly plucked the bouquet out of Susan's tiny hands.
"Oh thank you so much, Susan! Go back outside with Thomas, I'll be out there in just a minute."
Susan beamed at him and ran back outside. I was still struggling for words. Peeta looked at me, sadness and a touch of fear in his eyes, "Katniss, I'm so sorry. I told them not to mess with the primroses, but you know how kids are…"
He trailed off. No words would help here. He kissed my forehead, mumbled another apology, and went back outside, leaving the flowers on the table in front of me.
I stared at them for what seemed like ages. Prim, Prim, Prim. But I didn't feel the pain I was used to, the pain I would get when I looked at the flowers Peeta first planted almost fifteen years ago. They were pretty. Not some monument to the sister I had lost, not some way to fuel my grief, just…pretty. In fact, looking at them brought me some inner peace.
There's no need to waste perfectly good flowers. I went into the kitchen and filled a vase with water. I carefully arranged all of the flowers in the vase, making sure each got enough of the water, and left them by the window.
Before I could even process what was happening, my feet were taking me outside. When I opened the door, Peeta and the two children froze. Peeta smiled and waved, the surprise apparent in his expression.
I waved back and walked over. Susan and Thomas bounced over to me. I held out my hands and they each took one.
"Thank you for those flowers. I feel a lot better. Those were really, really pretty," I told them. The kids grinned some more and started pulling me, explaining to me the rules of some elaborate game they had just made up. Peeta didn't seem to be capable of motion, but just stared at me with a quizzical look on his face.
Later that night, I had all my medicine laid out that I take before bed. A few mood stabilizers, some vitamins, a sleeping pill. There was one more pill. I placed it in my hand and stared at it. I put it down on the counter and walked back into the bedroom, where Peeta was reading. He looked up at the sound of my footsteps,
"Hi."
"Hi," I said back, walking closer. He got up.
"Have I thanked you enough for this afternoon? You were so kind to them," he told me for what must have been the fifth time, wrapping his arms around my waist. I think he's still having trouble believing that our little playdate turned out so well.
"It was fine. I had fun. They're sweet kids,"
"You've changed so much since I met you. I don't know how you would've handled some kid picking your primroses five or ten years ago," he said honestly. Things probably would have turned out differently. A lot has changed…
"You're right. I, uh, well…" I had never been good with words. That was all Peeta.
"What is it, Katniss?"
"You know they're not so bad," I said quickly, looking down.
"Who, Susan and Thomas? They're great." The usual spark was coming back into Peeta's eyes.
I hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right way to say what was on my heart.
"Well, kids in general. I kind of liked having them around," I said even faster, still not able to make eye contact. I heard Peeta's breath catch in his throat. Even he couldn't find anything to say back. I could tell he was getting excited, but he didn't want to pressure me for fear that I would change my mind. I took a deep breath and finally looked up.
"I'm in," was all I could think of to add.
"What?" That wasn't enough for him. He wanted to hear me say it.
"I'm ready. If you want to have kids. I'm in."
I barely had time to blink before Peeta crushed me against his chest in a hug.
"Thank you," he mumbled.
"No. Thank you, Peeta. For waiting for me."
He grinned.
"Always."
Woo! AP Exam procrastination.
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