This is my first ever, fanfiction and actually my first ever fiction of any kind! So I welcome reviews, thoughts and etc. I also apologize for what is most likely horrific arrangement with the dialogue etc. As much as I read, you would think that it would come naturally to me…it doesn't.

Anyway, this is a kinda AU Charlie and Olivia one time go set after John died. No Walter/Peter in the picture for this one. Charlie's not married in this one either.

He Knew

As they drove away from the building, she put her head into her hands and rested her forearms on her knees. It had been a few weeks since John had died, although Charlie thought it was too soon, he had given in at her insistence and allowed her back to work. He looked at her from the seat right next to her; concern turning his mouth at one corner.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" he asked.

Olivia didn't change her position as she replied, "I'm okay. I just haven't been sleeping very well, and…I don't know. I'm just tired…I'll be alright when we get there."

"You know, you can sleep right now if you want to, I'll wake you up…" he offered, though he really had no intention of waking her if she actually fell asleep; he would just slip out of the car, start the investigation without her and hope that she would forgive him for that later.

She let out a soft sigh, and nodded. To his surprise, she leaned to her left, curled her legs up on the seat next to her and rested her head on his leg. She was still facing away from him, curled up in a semi-fetal position, her eyes closed. As for Charlie, his eyes were wide as he looked down at her and cautiously rested his hand on her upper arm. He hadn't expected that, or for her to try and sleep for that matter.

He knew it didn't mean anything. A simple act out of the desire for comfort from another human perhaps, or maybe just a comfortable place to rest her head, but he couldn't help the quickening of his heartbeat when she did it.

His face softened and a slightly sad expression took over as he looked down at her. He resisted the urge to smooth back the few strands of hair that had escaped her bun for just a moment before allowing himself to do it. His fingers brushed her cheek gently as he did so, but she didn't stir. She must have really been exhausted he thought as he continued to look at her, lovingly now, and his mind began to wander.

He couldn't deny the way he felt with her so close, but he never really had—he loved her. He knew he loved her. He knew it had never mattered. He had been content to be her friend for as long as he had. How did he know he loved her? What a dumb question. People who tried to explain why they loved someone or what it was about them that made them love that person were not in love.. Love isn't something that you can define, can put into a written column, can explain as a composition of smaller parts to someone else. No, it just was. It was something you felt, something you almost were, and something that you couldn't change, even if you tried.

He had tried. No, not in some cliché, getting drunk every night while pining away for her in his apartment with the lights off kind of tried. No. He had tried to think of her as a friend, a co-worker, someone he still cared for. He had tried ignoring the relationship that he knew she was having with John despite their attempts at secrecy, and he had tried unsuccessfully. How did he know he loved her? He knew. As for that relationship, he had never been upset by the fact that she loved John, because love was something that you couldn't help, change, or define; it just was. Olivia loved John, and both he and John loved her. She couldn't help that either.

He realized he'd been staring at her for the last half hour or so and quickly glanced up at their driver, an agent that he didn't recognize. The agent didn't seem to notice anything in the backseat, but was instead focused on navigating slowly around the police cordons and tape that was constructed all around the road. They were close to the scene apparently. Charlie looked back down at Olivia again with a slight smile. There wouldn't be any way of sneaking out of the car with her head on his lap…maybe that was why she did it.

The car stopped slowly and the agent that was driving jumped out of the seat quickly, shutting the door loudly as he left and went off to ask the police officer that was blocking the way where he should go. The slammed door made them both jump before the previous quiet resumed. Olivia turned her head to look up at him, a small smile on her lips.

"That was quick…" She said, softly.

He wordlessly returned her small smile and kept looking down at her, his overall expression unchanged, still a bit lost in the fog of his previous thoughts. He watched as she observed his face, her smile slowly fading, and a look of confusion taking over. That confusion was quickly replaced by one of quiet surprise, and he knew she knew. That was okay, he didn't feel like hiding it anymore and he would go with wherever that knowledge took them—apart, together, hopefully together—he would go. He wouldn't chase her now, that would be cruel, but he would be there and maybe someday she would chase him.

"Looks like we're here." He said.

"Guess so." She replied, still softly, as she sat up and touched her hair to make sure it was all in place.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and checked his gun in its holster, took a look out the front window and saw the agent weaving his way around bystanders, making his way back to their car. He felt her eyes on him the whole time.

"Charlie…"

He looked at her. She still looked a little confused, or maybe concerned and didn't finish her sentence. That was okay too. She had just lost someone else and now she knew about him. What could she say? Nothing would make sense right now. The driver reopened his door.

"Looks like this is as far as we go in the car, sir." he said.

"Alright. Are you ready Olivia?" Charlie said.

She nodded in response and he opened his door to climb out. He took a deep breath, just as he had many times before, and started walking towards the police tape. Olivia followed him.