Chapter 5: Confusion Taints the Heart

Sometimes our hardest tests, our hardest journeys, are ones we must face alone.

Chris had learned long ago that it was better to shut the world out, to live a life with a mask on. To pretend that nothing moved him, nothing hurt him. As he had spent time in the past…only seeing glances of the people he longed to be with once more.

Time with his mother. A woman who he could see glances of from time to time. How her eyes became soft, no longer cold and distant as they stared at him. How her voice sweet, lips curled into a warm smile. A comforting touch would glide across his skin before she seemed to jolt back to reality and understand that she did not know or trust this boy in front of her.

Time with his Aunt Paige. How she would send him a wink when she found something amusing, how she frowned when and rolled her eyes before giving him a look that meant she wasn't sure why she put up with her family. How her eyes would dart to his, lips turned into a sly smirk as if sharing a private joke before she would realize that this was not someone important to her, he held no purpose but to be her whitelighter.

Time with his Aunt Phoebe. How she would look into his eyes and squint her own, pursing her lips as she fought back some crazy instinct to call him adorable. How she would lean towards him when she felt her empath powers becoming too much. How she would take the time to tell him about not only her column, but also her love life as she sat next to him on the couch, before she would realize this guy was not her family, he meant nothing to her.

Time with his father. How his voice would grow unattached, how he could make Chris feel worthless. How he would flinch away from the mere presence of Chris. How his eyes would look at him, taking in the way he looked before they became clouded with an unknown emotion as if trying to decide why he reminded him so much of Piper before realizing he just really wanted to be with his wife and son and family once more.

He wanted that back. Those people, whether they all distrusted him or not. He wanted them back because they were a much better option than the ones he had now.

He would be going back to the Manor soon. He would put up a mask, tell his mother how sorry he was for acting the way he had. He was good at lying. He was the best at pretending. And no one was better than him when it came to pushing his emotions and feelings away, locking them up so he couldn't feel them anymore.

That was what he would do, so he could go home. He would pretend that he didn't remember everything. He would pretend that everything hurt, that he was slowly dying from these secrets. And when the time came, he would let go of it. He would stop feeling pain; he would let himself fade into the place they had created for him.

His grandpa would be furious that he did that. But he didn't want to be alone. He wanted his mother to hold him, his aunts to coddle him. His father to smile at him with pride, and for his brother to love him above all others.

Maybe he had become selfish. Maybe he was always selfish. Maybe his brother had not been evil in the other timeline…maybe he had seen his brother losing interest in him. Maybe he was just a selfish person who wished for them to acknowledge him. Maybe he should have kept his nose out of his brother's business.

God…how he missed his brother. Wyatt was that one person who always cared about him. Who did whatever he could to protect Chris. His mother and Aunts tried, but they couldn't protect him from everything. They knew he needed to experience some things, but Wyatt never agreed with that. He had believed that it was his job to protect Chris from any type of harm.

So where was he now?

That's right…Chris destroyed him when he changed the past. He changed him.

"Chris…" A voice broke in, making Chris look up from his bed. His depressing thoughts pushed to the back of his mind as he faced his grandpa.

"Hey Gramps," He croaked out, his eyes boring into the older male's.

The older man smiled gently at the younger male, "You have a visitor. I think you better come out here and greet him."

Slowly Chris stood, his eyes puzzled. Who would be visiting him? Who would even think to find him here? He purposely made it so no one could sense him here. He made his way to the door, moving out of the room that he had called his own for so many years. Grandpa's had always been a safe haven. As he looked over, his eyes grew wide at the figure.

"How did you find me?"

I'M BACK! YAY...Well kinda. I got a PM and it inspired me to get back to my stories. I have been super busy with classes and working that I haven't had the chance to even think about my stories. It's really short, kind of made Chris go in a different way than people may of been expecting. But I feel like Chris would have just been like, "I'm tried of fighting this. It won't change, I've seen that. So I'll get over it." But don't worry, I WILL make it change! Reviews keep me writing guys, I promise! Also...ideas on who the mystery person should be? It could be anyone. It WILL be someone who knows the other Chris. (They have their other memories!)

Star Mage1: Hi! Sorry I haven't updated! Hmm let's see...I am trying to work on Last Hope, which will have different characters involved. Different relationships and new faces, along with some old ones. I have the ending to the story almost finished. It is close to my original ending, a little different. But I love it all the same. I have to say, I always love your reviews! Hmm yes I kind of want Leo to pay for his mistreatment, but I want the sisters to pay as well. I hated how they treated Chris. I remember being disgusted by them because of it. Cole lied and manipulated them plenty of times, tried to get close to them every chance he got, and he was basically given a free pass almost every time. With Chris the guy went out of his way to not get close to them, while still continuously giving hints about who he was. Anyways, rant over. Hmm...Evil Wyatt..I love bringing him into the storylines.

LaHotes Girl: Hi thank you so much for PMing me, I am so glad you did. It gave me the motivation to keep writing. Tell me what you think of this chapter. Sorry it isn't long, but I wanted it mostly to be his thoughts and I wasn't sure who the mystery person should be. :)