"There he is!" Christine pointed at the screen excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Right there!"

"Okay, okay, calm down, Chris…" Sarah calmly moved her eyes to where Christine's finger jabbed towards the monitor. Sure enough, a half-lit, tiny square photo of Damon sat beneath the prima donna's fingertip. Slowly, Sarah moved the cursor over his picture and clicked on it.

"Wow, Facebook really is perfect for stalking. It's a good thing Erik and Jareth don't have accounts."

Sarah's fingers turned white as she clutched the mouse at the sound of Jareth's name. Ever since what the other residents had christened "the T-shirt incident," Sarah had been completely ignoring the Goblin King. Not that that had been all that hard; in fact, after just one attempt to speak to her (which was to harass her again), it seemed the fae had given up entirely.

"Don't you think, Sar?"

"W-what?" Sarah blinked in confusion and looked up at her roommate, who was staring at her strangely.

"Are you alright, Sarah?" Christine put her hands on her hips. Sarah groaned inwardly, knowing that the soprano was gearing up to nag her like some mother hen… Must banish all thoughts of chickens, she mentally noted.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't hear what you said."

Christine watched her suspiciously. "Are you sure? Because ever since the T-shirt incident, you –"

"Drop it, Chris." Sarah glared at the blonde. "I thought we were here to finally try Facebook stalking?"

To Sarah's immense relief, her roommate just sighed and observed her warily. "I suppose." Her face lit up again. "What are we waiting for? I want to see what he looks like!"

"Okay, just a sec…" Sarah bit her lip as the screen finally started loading. Both girls held their breath as a huge banner of Damon's face appeared across the top of the screen, casual smirk in place.

"Mon dieu, Sar," Christine breathed out. "He's… he's… gorgeous."

Sarah smiled smugly. "Thought you might say that."

"But, Sarah," Christine's expression of delight dissolved back into a frank stare. "Are you absolutely sure you don't just like him because you want to get back at G.K.?"

"What? No." Sarah gave a halfhearted laugh. "Jareth wishes he could even compare with Damon. He's beautiful, polite, charming…"

Christine held up her hands in defeat. "Alright, alright I get the picture, now stop before you get drool on the carpet."

Sarah laughed again, for real this time. "Now, let the real stalking begin… Huh, never thought we'd be the ones saying that."

Their laughter echoed through the building.

Jareth sat perched in a tree, fuming as the sound of Sarah's laughter trailed past him on the wind. He couldn't believe this. "Asexual traitors" was right. Aziraphale had been about as helpful as Crowley, which was not helpful at all. One would have thought that the angel would be far more sympathetic to his (and, admittedly, the fangirls') plight.

He had been spying on the vampire all day in owl form, trying to gain an edge on him. All he knew was that Damon neither glittered nor burned in the sun because he had been continually distracted and chased off by a black crow swooping in beside him. It may have been paranoia but Jareth was sure that the crow hadn't been a real crow.

Suddenly, Jareth remembered something Crowley had said. His vampire enemy had a sob story. I can use that. Although the demon had said that the sob story would serve as a Sarah-magnet, Jareth was sure "angst and brokenhearted story" implied "dark secret." It was only a matter of finding out what exactly this dark secret was, aside from being a vampire, of course. He wondered if Sarah even knew her new interest was an immortal bloodsucker.

Jareth smiled widely, pointy teeth flashing. I can definitely use that.

Meanwhile, the two girls carried on their cyber-stalking, blissfully unaware of the scheming Goblin King outside their room.

"Well, he certainly doesn't have many male Facebook friends…" Sarah scanned Damon's friend list searchingly.

Christine giggled. "Jealous, Sar?"

Sarah snorted incredulously in reply. "As if. It's not like anyone actually knows all of their Facebook friends. Hey, look, he used to talk to this girl a lot a few years ago…"

"Elena Gilbert," Christine read aloud. "Never heard of her before." They both stared at the small photo of a dark Bulgarian girl smiling next to the name, trying to find a scrap of recognition.

"Me neither," Sarah said at last. "At least, I don't think so. Maybe Damon just knew her in high school."

"Probably." Christine shrugged. "Either way, if there's one thing his Facebook profile proves, it's that he certainly isn't a psycho and/or canonically dead failure like pretty much every other guy around here."

"Yeah…" Sarah sighed. She ran her fingertips over the edge of the keyboard in contemplation. Looking up at her roommate, she continued, "At least, as far as we know."

"Well," Christine began counting off on her fingers, going through her mental checklist. "He's not deformed, not rejected from society, so far not a stalker, not glittery…" She paused to continue her list silently. At last, she concluded, "Nope, seems normal to me."

Without warning, Sarah's green eyes widened and she jumped back to the computer. "We forgot to check his relationship status!"

Christine also leapt at the screen. "What? What is it?"

Sarah scrolled down the page as hastily as she could. "Let's see…" Her eyes moved over to the sidebar. Relationship status: It's Complicated. She sat back in disappointment. "Damn, it seems like everyone in the vicinity of this building's relationship status should be 'It's Complicated.'"

"How can that be?" Christine commandeered the mouse from the brunette. "It doesn't seem like he's even talked to anyone recently… Well, except for that Elena Gilbert girl, but surely, it can't be her since their last Facebook conversation was ages ago."

"Who is she, anyway?" Sarah satisfied herself by clicking on Elena's name. Elena's profile popped up on the screen and both leaned forward to get a better view.

What they saw surprised them. The enlarged profile picture showed the sultry beauty standing next to a sturdily built boy with sandy hair, both meticulously dressed as if for a high school prom or black-tie event.

Christine pointed at the boy with who they guessed to be Elena. "Is that her boyfriend? He's pretty cute."

"I don't know." Sarah clicked on the profile picture to enlarge it. Just as they had suspected, the girl was tagged as "Elena Gilbert." As for the boy…

"Stefan Salvatore?" Christine gasped. "As in… Damon's brother?"

"It could be his brother," Sarah agreed. "Brother or not, they're related."

"Oh." The soprano let out a sigh of relief that earned her a perturbing glare from her roommate. "Can you check her relationship status?"

Without another word, Sarah exited the picture and scanned the profile sidebar. Relationship Status: In a Relationship with Stefan Salvatore.

"Ha!" Christine jumped up. "I knew it!"

Sarah let out an exasperated sigh. "I wonder how he and Damon are related? I mean, they don't exactly look similar…"

The blonde shrugged. "I guess the only way to find out is to check his profile." With that, she leaned forward, took the mouse and clicked on Stefan's name.

Christine and Sarah both eagerly looked through Stefan's profile for his family information. At last, they found it, Damon's name and picture with "brother" written underneath.

"Ah," Sarah said. "So he is his brother."