Hi guys, I'm RandomFieryDragon. I've written some stuff on here, one that I never finished... Sorry about that :/ But I've been wanting to start something new. I had a lot of trouble coming up with something, and of course you're thinking, this is just another victimized Amy story! But I promise, I'm gonna try to make it as good and unique as I can. Besides, who doesn't like a good dramatic story sometimes? And I might have some ideas of my own... But anyway, here ya go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Amy, Sonic, Cream, Tails, or any other Sonic character. Wouldn't that be awesome though? But seriously, they're owned by Sega. :)

I don't know where I'm going, and I don't know where I've been.

Heard this before? I'm sure you have. We all have, at some point in our lives, heard or thought this very statement. It doesn't mean that you'll never know. It just means that you have to do a little soul-searching to find out what everything means, where this corner will take you next, or where each day will place you in your own little universe.

I, Amy Rose, have always known exactly where I was and exactly where I was going. Most people knew me as the strong-willed chick on the Sonic Team, always looking so innocent, yet so deadly when provoked. And I liked that! I liked having a label. I liked that people knew me. But I didn't have time to worry a whole lot about what people thought of me. I was too busy chasing after my own dreams.

And back then, I only had one dream-to successfully win over (and eventually marry) my darling Sonic. You know Sonic the Hedgehog, right? The Blue Blur, the hero of Station Square, the too-cool-for-school crimefighter who's always on the move. I only had eyes for him. He only put me down, sure, but I was determined to win this guy over. Sonic was everywhere... on the TV, in the streets, at a chili-dog stand, at press conferences, occasionally in jail but always let out, because Sonic could never do anything wrong. No, not him. Sonic was just too good, with his winning smile and his thumbs-up, and everyone loved him, including me.

Until. You knew this was coming, I'm sure. As it is with every story on Fanfiction that any only-semi-okay author writes that is a SonAmy, there's always a catch when it comes to Sonic. We were all getting older; we had nothing to do. I was blossoming into a beautiful young hedgehog, my heart as fierce and determined as ever, my eyes set on the prize. I had landed a job at a clothing store, working the register and folding clothes, helping customers with a breezy optimism that you didn't see often anymore. I was happy; I had a purpose. Of course there was always Sonic, and every time the team got together, my efforts to win his affections were unmatched. And his blunt refusal of them was the same, every single time. But I had my job, and I had an apartment that I was working to pay for every month, and I went out occasionally with my friends. I had fun... and I was happy.

Then 'the shit hit the fan' or so they say. I went a little too overboard in my pursuit of Sonic-as in, showing up at a restaurant where he was having dinner with a few friends, uninvited and unannounced, all because Rouge had texted me telling me he was there, and that I should go make a move. As I always did.

Sonic stood up out of his chair and yanked me off to the hall where the restrooms were, spun around to face me, and proceeded to explain (very heatedly I might add) how annoying I'd been all these years, how he wished that I would just grow up and move on to someone who actually wanted me, and that I should leave now, and stop bothering him all the time.

Those first few weeks were killer. You might be thinking, well, she doesn't sound very upset about it. That's because it's been a year since that happened. As obsessive as you may think me to be, I can get over things. I kept working every day, and on my off days I would go shopping with friends, go for long walks around the city, or just sit at home alone all day. There were some rough days, like the times that I saw him around and knew that I couldn't approach him, or the times when Tails would invite me to a get-together and I would have to refuse, saying that I would hang out with them later, when really it was because I was afraid that Sonic would be angry to see me there. It was like being choked slowly, held back by ropes from something that you wanted and needed, but couldn't have. Even after all that he said to me, Sonic shone as bright as the sun in the sky. I struggled through the nights trying not to cry, I held my breath when I passed him on the other side of the street, praying and wishing and hoping that one day he would finally remember that I existed, and he would come back. No matter how much I tried to deny it, it was all I had to live for.

And I began to hate myself for it.

"HAHAHA, Cream! Watch! When I turn my head really fast to the side, like this-" I whipped my head back and forth like a maniac, "it takes a few seconds for what I'm looking at to actually show up! Whoa, so weird!" I sat and continued to shake my head violently back and forth, bursting into a fit of giggles each time, as Cream laughed next to me.

At that moment, we were sitting on a dirty beige couch, in this guy Ryder's apartment, which smelled like it hadn't been cleaned in weeks. Cream had a vodka and ginger ale in her hand, which she was sipping on from time to time. We both had on black tube skirts; I had on a red shimmery top, while Cream was wearing a brown tank. Typical party-going outfits. Scattered around the apartment were people that I didn't know, but it didn't matter; it was a party, and we were only here to get wasted. Cream snuggled up next to me, giggling.

"Amy, you're so retarded! Seriously though, you might wanna slow down. It's only midnight," Cream said as she checked her phone for any texts. I let my head fall back on the couch, lazily studying the ceiling. "Look at that cobweb, it's so shiny!" I started giggling again and tipped forward, laying my head in my arms. Cream snorted. "Guess it's too late for you, girl. Drink away."

I sat up with newfound purpose and saluted my best friend. "Yes SIR," I proclaimed as I stood up, almost falling over in the process. Jeez, how can I be messed up already? I've only had a few shots at most! Haven't I...? I shrugged it off as I walked towards the kitchen, which was open to the living room. I weaved through the groups of people, all in varying degrees of drunkenness, to the counter where all the alcohol was sitting, just begging for me to come have some more. I studied my choices. Vodka, obviously-this flavored stuff that was so sweet, it was actually gross. Tequila, which tasted like dirt to me. And then there was a bottle of rum, very dark, obviously meant for those who didn't wanna waste any time.

Guess that's me! I thought, and giggled to myself at my own ingenuity or whatever it was. I grabbed a shot glass, or what looked like a shot glass anyway, and filled it with the rum. Without stopping to think, I gulped it down in two gulps. "ACK!" I gagged, dropping the glass on the counter and stumbling backward to the sink, preparing to be sick. I gripped the side of the granite hard, trying to steady myself against the absolutely foul-tasting crap that the rum was. I opened my eyes, dying for relief, and spotted a can of Pringles. Thank Chaos! I popped it open and stuffed two of them at once in my mouth, munching on their salty goodness. Immediately I felt better and the rum taste was gone. Glad that's over! I turned to make my way back over to the couch, where a green echidna was sitting next to Cream, obviously in full flirt-mode.

I practically fell back into my spot on the couch, sighing in bliss at the feeling I was already getting from the shot of rum. I'd have to take another one of those soon. Cream turned to look at me, grinning at my obvious enjoyment. "Didn't I tell your happy ass to slow down?"

I threw my hands up in the air high above my head and laughed out loud, for no reason at all. "HELL if I know!" I kept on laughing and rolled over on my side, basking in the lightness I felt, the sounds of the party slowly fading away until it was just me, Amy, and this wondrous feeling.

This is the first time in weeks that you've felt this happy. Isn't it just great that the only way you can feel any sort of satisfaction anymore is through alcohol? Gonna be wasted all the time now, huh? Is this ever gonna stop, Amy?

I tried to block out my conscience, putting my hands on either side of my head, sighing. Shut up. You know nothing. Everyone drinks, so what if I do it too? I asked myself defiantly. I wasn't doing anything wrong! Didn't everybody do this on weekends? It was completely normal!

You have to be at work by 9 tomorrow, and I can already tell you that you're not gonna be able to make it. Stop being stupid. You always said that you would never be like this! That you would never do this! What happened to that? What happened to staying above the influence? And you're bringing Cream into it, too! How can you live with yourself?

I groaned, all these thoughts bringing my blissful moment to an ending. GO AWAY. Everyone does this. If me and Cream wanna do it too, then we should be able to. Now seriously, let me have my peace!

The party continued around me without stopping. Everyone smiling, laughing. Happy. They probably weren't harboring any secrets. They probably weren't still in love with the people who hurt them. Nah, other people, they weren't like me. They got broken up with, they moved on. They found new people. Me? I just existed, floating along in my solitary world of work and parties, trying to convince myself that I could move on when all I thought about at night was Sonic's face, and his warm, strong hands... His smile...

That's just it. Sonic. He's the fuel behind the alcohol, isn't he? He's what keeps you going out every night of the weekend. He's what keeps you moving in the wrong direction. And you should know better.

"SHUT UP!" I suddenly cried out, startling Cream, the green echidna, and other people standing around me. Some laughed, probably thinking I was too drunk to know what I was talking about, but Cream had a look of concern on her face that I didn't like. Up goes the alarm. Gates shutting, doors closing. System shutdown, effective immediately.

"Hahaha, gosh, aren't these people LOUD? I mean, it's crazy!" I trilled in a happier-than-ever voice that spoke of nothing but the effects of alcohol. Cream, still studying me, relaxed a bit and giggled, "Yes, Amy, it's a party. It's very loud." She put her drink on the coffee table, which was covered in full ashtrays and random cigarettes. "Maybe it's time for you to go to bed." She turned to me and offered a hand. She was such a good friend, and I didn't deserve her. Especially not at times like this.

I laughed and waved her off, sitting up on the couch. "No, no, I got it!"

Cream let her hand drop but still looked at me. "Are you sure? You seem kinda...off." The green echidna stared back and forth between the two of us, but I don't think he was comprehending a single thing we said. I laughed again. "Um, off, Cream? I'm drunk, whaddaya think?" I stood up and swayed a bit but quickly covered it up. "I'm fine, I promise! I'm just gonna go find a room somewhere, 'night!" And I literally skipped off-yes, you read that right-to the stairs. It was a feat trying to find a room that wasn't already occupied, but finally I found a room that seemed empty.

I turned and shut the door behind me, locking it in case any random guys came looking upstairs that I didn't want finding me. It was so dark in there, and I couldn't see a thing. I walked slowly forward, my arms outstretched, feeling for something solid. Suddenly my knees knocked into something cold and metallic and I was pitched forward onto my face, onto...soft. Bed. I sighed, my mission successful. I crawled up onto what felt like a really, really soft bed-thank Chaos I got the best room in the house-and finally found a pillow with my hands. I dragged it towards me and let my head fall into the cloud, sighing contentedly.

My head was spinning, even in the darkness, but it was a good kind of dizziness. The kind that had no Sonic in it, or at least kept Sonic at bay. I felt like I was floating on top of the ocean, being tossed back and forth by the waves, no rhyme or reason to any of it. My conscience was right-I did like this feeling. I kept going out weekend after weekend, in pursuit of this feeling in place of the love that I truly wanted. Poor, poor little me, right? But I hated that feeling. I didn't want sympathy from anyone. So I'd been rejected by my one true love. I could still be that strong girl, despite how wrong everything in my life was now. I spun around on top of my ocean, and yawned, curling up like a kitten while the alcohol cradled me like a baby, protecting me from myself.

And that's where I fell asleep, unaware that it was the last night I would spend that way, unaware that very soon, I would come back to life again...

To be continued

Whaddaya think? Please read & review! I get really sad and depressed if I don't get reviews, and I won't continue it if I don't get any. So please give me something to go off of! It should pick up, I promise! Gotta hate introductory/filler chapters... Anyway please review! -RFD :)