A/N: I saw The Avengers at midnight. You know how it is. 'Bout near busted a gut a couple dozen times because of it. Also may have been due to the fact that it was nearly three in the morning by the time we left, but I digress.
Couldn't very well pass up the opportunity to write something with it, even if it took me a couple of days to think of something. Toss in some Pepperony along the way and now you know how I operate. Put under the Iron Man category because of that. If people think I should shift it, then I will.
Needless to say, some Avengers spoilers, yes.
It'll get better as it goes on, what with development and such. At least, I hope it will.
Review if you wanna, but I'm not going to push anything. I just hope you enjoy it, nonetheless. :)

Strawberries & Shawarma
—Chapter One:

"I thought we were having a moment."
"I was having twelve percent of a moment."
—Tony Stark & Pepper Potts

"There are God of Mischief-shaped holes in my floor, Banner."

Anthony Stark scoffed, kicking at a piece of rubble by his foot and watched it roll away as it was left to its own devices before picking up his gaze to level it with one of the only other people besides him that was cause for some of the more recent damages to his newer penthouse apartment. In retaliation the meek looking man offered a lighthearted shrug, half of a smile crossing his features as he attempted to come up with an argument to defend himself with.

"Like I said, I wasn't intentionally trying to destroy your house or anything." The mild-mannered Bruce Banner said, preferring to avoid any form of confrontation if he could help it. It wasn't entirely his fault that there were large indentations in the ceramic that had once made up a rather 'nice' floor, as far as he knew. He'd had a great deal of help in wrecking havoc on it. "The other guy didn't seem too fond of Loki either. Uh, no offense."

Banner cast a sidelong glance at the blond Norse god too involved with studying the remnants of what had once been Tony Stark's couch to truly pay too much heed to their conversation, but the man of myths simply nodded at the mention of his adoptive brother's name. Both were curious as to Thor's intentions when it came to remaining on Earth for however long he was able to stay, having assumed that his goal had been to apprehend Loki and then be done with it, off to whatever realm they'd sprouted from. Neither said anything to that effect, however.

"Bruce also wasn't the one to invite him into his own house, Tony." Steve Rogers supplied, arms folded across his chest as he stood by said man's side and leaving the two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in their company to glance up from where they were conversing quietly amongst themselves by the elevator. Something passed across Clint Barton's weary face at the interruption, but he was honestly too amused by the verbal altercation going on to say anything about it. Natasha Romanoff kept an eye on him all the same.

Stark frowned and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because I just ushered him right on in the front door; thank you for the input, Capsicle."

Steve clenched his jaw and made to remark on this moniker he wasn't overly fond of when Natasha decided to step in before the two men finally came to blows with one another.

"Funny, you didn't get nearly so upset about household damages at your last birthday party."

"For the record, I thought I was dying," he shot back at her slight smirk, choosing to respond with a jab of his own. "And you're still on thin ice when it comes to keeping your job with legal, Rushman. Or whatever the hell your name is."

The statement earned an amused look from Black Widow (who'd promptly vacated her role at Stark Industries shortly after the incident with Vanko) and a confused one from Hawkeye, who frowned and mouthed the word 'legal?' to which the woman merely shook her head with the clear indication that she would explain everything later. Bruce, relieved that the attention was off of him for the time being, busied himself with glancing all around him and trying to pinpoint every exit available to him while Steve continued to fume about the insults so graciously offered by Stark and Thor examined what appeared be the flute of a former champagne glass.

Tony had zeroed in on the gamma specialist again when the latter shifted and ended up sending a small chunk of floor skittering across the room to land at the former's feet.

"And you and the Jolly Green Giant aren't off the hook yet either," he grimaced. "You both annihilated my house."

Bruce rewarded the look with a scowl of his own. "Like you haven't?"

Iron Man grimaced at the Hulk and the rest of the Avengers tried not to look too amused as they egged one another on.

"Yeah but see, that was my fault therefore I'm in the all clear."

"How does that even work?"

Thor chuckled his amusement and then found it necessary to add in his own thoughts on the matter. "You humans are so petty."

"Can it, Thunderpants," Tony replied with one of less than stellar nicknames for the God of Thunder and earned a few glares or eye rolls to accompany the confused look from the being he was supposed to be making fun of. There was a muttered That doesn't even make sense from one of the back corners, but whoever had said it was denied the opportunity to elaborate on their thoughts when another slightly accented voice added itself into the mixture.

"If I may interject here—" JARVIS began, only for his creator to narrow his eyes at the ceiling and interrupt.

"No you may not interject here," the inventor said, Steve glancing around in bewilderment as Thor followed suit.

"What form of sorcery is this?" the Norse asked, both bemused and confounded. The more technologically-adept of the bunch withheld any exasperation if only to protect Captain America's already fragile sanity.

JARVIS failed to let Stark's interruption deter him and interjected anyway.

"From my assessment it would appear that Mr. Stark is most concerned with the state of his home primarily due to it being shared living arrangements with Miss Potts."

"Cute," Clint jested from where he stood, Natasha shooting him a look as it all finally clicked for Bruce.

"Might I also add that said Miss Potts is currently approaching."

Though he may have tried to hide it, there was no denying the way his face did in fact seem to brighten up at the mention of both her name and their impromptu reunion. "Pepper's here?"

"And also quite distressed, if the readings from her vital signs give any indication."

The small smile that had formed immediately back-tracked into a frown.

"Pepper's upset?"

By means of a response, the elevator doors that he had last seen close upon Pepper and Agent Coulson the day before swiftly opened to reveal a rather perplexed looking Virginia 'Pepper' Potts nearly beside herself.

And still, Tony Stark smiled with arms held out to her because he didn't know how else to respond. He just chose to ignore the other five people in the room.

"Pepper!"

From the way her voice shook in response he wasn't sure if she was livid or traumatized, seeing as he suddenly found himself under a glare that threaten him with spontaneous combustion.

"Oh don't you even—" she began, stalking her way toward the man and about to rip into him when the abrupt shift of loose, broken ceramic beneath her foot caught her attention and it was then that she finally looked around the spacious room to take in the destruction. Indentations in the shape of a man's body dotted the floor in all directions surrounded by remnants of furniture, a vast majority of the windows were blown out, and right in the middle of it all stood Tony Stark, grinning like the fool he was.

It was almost endearing. Almost.

"What in the. . .How did. . .What. . ." Unable to form an articulate sentence, the woman could only gap around the penthouse, blinking as she tried to comprehend the scene of destruction before her. "You just. . .You. . .I don't even. . .How. . ."

His attempt to placate her was pretty much in vain.

"Now Pepper, I can explain—"

"You!" she shouted, kicking her way through bits of rubble and practically seething as she approached him. Steve and Bruce, who'd been standing nearest him, took a few steps backward for their own safety. The others were relieved to find themselves well out of firing range if their exchange came to physical blows. "You!"

"Me?" he offered, wanting to take a step back himself but finding that he was already leaning against the bar to begin with, therefore giving him very few options unless he wanted to vault over the woman that looked just about ready to strangle him.

"Yes, you," she ground out as her fingers flexed and he could almost feel them wrapping around his neck. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

He frowned. "Saving the world? Being awesome? Trying to convince you not to kill me?"

She hardly resisted the urge to scream. "Well good, because I think I actually am going to kill you! I swear you're going to give me a brain hemorrhage or a heart attack at some point at the rate you're going!"

Pepper had him backed against the counter of the bar and he found himself glancing to his newer companions in search of some assistance. None of them made a move toward him and he briefly cursed them for their lack of support before his attention was directed elsewhere.

Namely to the person he was fairly close to deeming his 'girlfriend.'

"Do you have any idea what it's like to have someone turn on the news and all you see is Iron Man flying into a black hole holding onto a nuclear missile?"

"—Portal to another realm, actually." Tony cut in, and out of the corner of his eye he caught Bruce shaking his head at him.

"Whatever the hell it is, it's sure as hell isn't okay! What were you thinking, Tony?" She fired back, the corners of her eyes twitching as they narrowed at him.

His brow furrowed as if he honestly didn't understand what she was so upset about. He could get why she would be annoyed with having to redo their new apartment, but his heroic actions? Shouldn't she have been happy with that, or at the very least proud to some extent? "Only saving the world, Pep. You'd think—"

"—that watching you disappear into this so-called portal without any guarantee that you'll come back is okay? That watching you fall back out of it while it explodes is going to make me feel any better? Or maybe checking my phone to find that I have a missed call from you just before you decided to be a hero and then I end up berating myself for it?" Her voice softened as she continued, and the others found themselves looking away and trying not to appear as awkward as they felt during the rather heated one-sided argument. "Or maybe how I spent the entire flight back to LaGuardia and trip back here to Stark Tower praying that you weren't already dead?"

As uncomfortable as he already was with the exchanged, Tony wasn't overly appreciative of their audience and wished that maybe she would have waited until they were alone to discuss the matter that was his own mortality.

"Pepper," he stated firmly, hands rising to grasp her arms just above her elbows.

"Just don't, Tony," she murmured, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in through her nose. "Just. . .don't."

"Pep," Completely disregarding the five other people milling about and trying to immerse themselves in half-hearted conversation about the weather or current state of the room they were standing in, Iron Man's organic being pressed his forehead to Pepper's and murmured something one could only assume was his form of an apology.

"You're an idiot and a maniac and I don't know how I've managed to put up with you sometimes." Potts muttered, eyes closed as she ignored the other beings and worked at closing the gap between her and what many assumed to be her boyfriend. "And sometimes I just hate you."

"I know," he replied, hands trailing down to her waist. "A lot of people seem to."

"I hate you the most."

Steve flushed and out of modesty looked away to study the stitching of one of his gloves as Tony kissed Pepper. Bruce coughed while the two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents took it upon themselves to quiz Thor on Mjölnir and the Asgardian simply took it all in stride.

"I still hate you," Pepper commented after she'd pulled away, the man's hands resting on the spot on the small of the back that they'd traveled to. Her own were positioned at the base of his neck on both sides so she could still strangle him if need be.

"I know," he replied, eyes still shut as he tilted his head just enough for her bangs to brush against his forehead.

"Tony,"

Rather than verbally reply, the man in question hummed in response to his name. He only opened his eyes when Pepper started to pull away, and brown locked with blue as she spoke slowly and evenly as if she herself couldn't even believe what she was saying.

"There's man with a cape in our living room."