Rating: PG

Pairing: Asami/Akihito

Spoilers: Chapter 5 of Pray in Abyss

Contains: Pure crack. Glossing over of any plot elements.

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Yamane Ayano, not me.

Author's Note: Yes, don't ask me what happened at the beginning. I've no idea. I just wanted to get to the silly parts. :)

"It looks like Dracaena is gonna need a little remodeling." Akihito collapsed on one of the expensive leather couches and propped his feet up on the equally expensive low table placed in front of it after kicking a limp, moaning form to the floor. He was still panting heavily and bleeding from a split lip and an assorted set of scratches. He smirked. "Pun intended."

Sudoh groaned in corner, clutching his bloody nose. He'd been absolutely useless in the fight that had broken out.

"Asami-san," he gasped, his voice quivering with mortification and fear. "I hope you know that I had no part in this. I had no idea they would attack you."

Asami spared him one contemptuous look. "I know, that's why you're only getting fired."

"Asami-san! Please, I-"

A darker, colder look quelled his words.

"Suoh will see you out, unless..." His eyes turned to Akihito. "Would you like a go at him? He was behind your beating last week."

Akihito snorted. "Please, that's like shooting fish in a barrel. Where's the fun in that? Seeing him get tossed out on his ass will be enough for me."

Asami's lips curved. He nodded to Suoh. "You heard him."

As Sudoh's protests faded away, Akihito narrowed his eyes at Asami. "You sure you want to do that? You seemed awfully fond of him up until now."

Giving the appearance of cool amusement, Asami lit up a cancer stick and blew the smoke in Akihito's general direction, while his men quietly and efficiently began removing the inert bodies littering the club's main room.

"He's not my type."

"Ha!" Akihito stood up and stalked over to Asami. "Then neither am I!"

"You're nothing alike."

"Blonde hair, similar builds..."

"He's taller than you."

Akihito scowled. "You're not winning any points here. And I'm not that much shorter than he is."

Asami's smirk infuriated him.

"If you want to bang some long-legged, suck up, asshole model, then be my guest!"

"I like your legs." Asami bent and ground the cigarette into an ashtray on the table. "I like the way you suck." He grinned, yanking Akihito closer. "And I really like your-"

His words were cut off as Akihito fisted his lapels and dragged Asami down for a violent kiss.

"Finish that sentence and die, bastard."

His threat made Asami's eyes flare, but his smirk reappeared. "You think you can take me?"

"Maybe not," Akihito admitted. He released Asami and stood back, hands placed on his hips in a cocky attitude. "But, then, I don't really even need to bother."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." His own version of a smirk made an appearance. "I've realized some things these past few days."

"Do tell."

"Well, you always let me do what I want, even if it makes trouble for you."

Asami shrugged. "I don't waste my time on futile endeavors. Trying to make you behave isn't cost effective."

"You let me order in expensive sushi whenever I want."

"It's a matter of personal pride that I keep my mistress well satisfied, both in bed and out."

Akihito ignored that and grinned. "You like it when I defy you. It turns you on."

"Did you really just figure this out a few days ago? Maybe that blonde hair is natural."

Akihito's eyes narrowed, but he didn't take the bait. "Anyway..." He stepped closer to Asami again, this time holding up his hand, fingers curled into a fist. A teasing smile flitted over his face as he popped the smallest finger up in the air and wiggled it. "All the signs point to you being wrapped around this."

Asami's expression didn't change, if anything, the amusement in his eyes ratcheted up another notch. "Is that what you think?"

"Sure." Akihito grinned. "Why else would all these people around you be giving me such a hard time. Sudoh. That DA. I didn't get it before this mess, but I see it now. They're all jealous. Everyone keeps calling me your pet, but that's not the truth, is it? It's the other way around. You're like my faithful dog."

This time, Asami's eyes narrowed. "Dog?"

"Yeah. You follow me around, mark your territory, scare off bad guys, and you love playing fetch." Akihito took a playful step backwards.

"I do like chasing tail."

Akihito yelped as Asami lunged for him, swung him over his shoulder, and headed for the door.

"Hey, what are you doing? Where are you taking me?"

"How many of those men had their hands on you today? And Aoki-she was entirely too grateful that you rescued her-embracing you like that in front of me." Asami tsked. "I feel an overwhelming need to mark my territory. Repeatedly."

Akihito couldn't help but laugh as he was thrown into the back of the limo, though the rough landing made his bruised body ache. "Bad dog."

Asami loomed over him, eyes and grin alive with feral amusement. "Oh, you won't be saying that for long, little kitty. Let me tell you what I have in store for you."

Asami leaned down and began to whisper in Akihito's ear.

Akihito's mouth went slack, his eyes rounding, pupils dilating. Then his chest hitched. "What?"

Asami laughed as Akihito began to thrash and struggle. "Don't pretend my words didn't excite you, my cute Akihito." Akihito cried out as Asami broad hand cupped him between the legs. "It's time to give the dog a bone."