Title: epidemic
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Archie Hopper/Dr. Whale (Whale Hopper?)
Spoilers/Warnings: Perhaps. Short fics/drabbles with various OUAT pairings, based on List Beta/Hero from '30 kisses' prompts on LJ.
Summary: Archie and Dr. Whale need to resolve some issues.
Disclaimer: This is purely fictional. I own none of it.

[…]

A/N: I'm still a little freaked out over this first drabble, and the way it just happened. I wasn't planning on it. But as my friend says, 'Crack!ships happen.' No, the thing is slash is not my cup of tea. I've never read/written/thought about slash. Heck, I don't even write het 90% of the time. I'm a femslasher to my bones. I don't know what came over me. I just wrote it and then sat and stared at it in horrified fascination. Although, if you think over it, it kinda makes sense. I give to you: Whale Hopper.

Archie/Dr. Whale — epidemic

"Dr. Whale," said Archie, his voice sounding even more nervous than usual in the brightly lit hospital corridor. "Has the hospital received the latest issue of the JAMA*?"

"Dr. Hopper," Dr. Whale nodded, voice careful, words curt, rounded, as he eyed a nurse passing them by, her heels making squeaky noises on the tiled floor. "I think not. The newest issue doesn't come out till next week, I believe. Was that all?"

The nurse turned the corner and the corridor was empty. Archie sidled close to him in one quick step. "You've been avoiding me, Tom!"

"That does not mean you get to stalk me at work!" Dr. Whale said, his voice low, teeth clenched as he glanced around to check that no one was there.

"Stalk!" Archie spluttered. "I'm not — what do you call all that happened last week on my couch? That is my work space, too! I, at least, have a legitimate excuse!"

"That was a one-time thing!" Dr. Whale hissed. "I hadn't planned on that happening, either!"

"But it happened! Avoiding it like this wouldn't help solve the—"

"I'd rather you didn't shrink me, thank you!"

"Is that so?" said Archie, voice heating up a little. "Funny, I recall you saying something completely different when I was—"

"Dr. Hopper!" Dr. Whale sounded scandalized. "This is neither the time nor the place—"

"You are in denial of your feelings, Tom! And since you have been avoiding me for days, I'll just take the time and place I can get because we need to talk about us — especially there is this article about a potential epidemic of Dengue in the outskirts of Calcutta that I've been meaning to get my hands on—" Archie changed topics mid-sentence as a passing ward-boy gave them a cursory glance.

"I know, fascinating article. That kind of outbreak can prove devastating, especially in an under-facilitated area — there is no us!" Dr. Whale hissed as the ward-boy turned the corner. "And I'm done with this talk, good day to you, Dr. Hopper."

He tried to turn and leave but Archie blocked his path with his ever-present umbrella, and the next moment he had Dr. Whale pressed into the clean, white hospital wall behind them. The kiss was hot and hard.

"This, Tom," said Archie. "This happened, and more, and this will happen again if I can help it, and leering at every skirt in the town, pretending to be a womanizing superstar will not make it go away! You need to face it, Tom. When you do, my couch will be ready. Whatever purpose you decide to use it for first."

Archie gave a curt nod, turned and walked away, leaving Dr. Whale slumped into the wall behind him, looking like he got hit by a passing truck.

A/N: Dear God, what have I written! O.o
*JAMA – Journal of American Medical Association