CORRESPONDENCE BETWEEN HETALIANS
"All nations want peace, but they want a peace that suits them."
- Admiral Sir John Fisher
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Alfred F. Jones
HELLO ENGLAND!
I DESIGNED A NEW BOMBER TO SHOOT DOWN STUPID ENGLISHMEN WITH!
SEE ATTACHED!
-AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: Arthur Kirkland
Dearest America,
Destroy it. Now.
Quite sincerely,
England
To: XXXXXX XXXXX
From: Alfred F. Jones
HEY BOSS!
I DON'T THINK BRITAIN LIKED MY NEW BOMBER!
-AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: XXXXXX XXXXX
America:
You showed it to him? !
America's Boss
To: XXXXXX XXXXX
From: Alfred F. Jones
Sure, why not?
-AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Francis Bonnefoy, Yao Wang, Ivan Braginski, Ludwig, Kiku Honda and Feliciano Vargas
From: Arthur Kirkland
That America was so stupid he sent me one of his air force designs! Now I know what kind of weapons he has! What an idiot.
England
To: Francis Bonnefoy, Yao Wang, Ivan Braginski, Ludwig, Kiku Honda, and Feliciano Vargas
From: Alfred F. Jones
HAHAHAHAHA! YOU GUYS SHOULD'VE SEEN THE LOOK ON ENGLAND'S FACE WHEN I ATTACKED HIS HOUSE WITH MY NEW BOMBER! WHAT AN IDIOT!
-AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: Francis Bonnefoy
Congratulations on destroying England's house. I will now proceed to do the same.
~France
To: Ludwig
From: Feliciano Vargas
Dear Germany,
Today I accidentally fell into one of Mr England's hole traps. Now I'm in a cell. Would you mind helping me out?
Grazie!
Italy~
Memo
Note to self:
The moment Italy gets back, teach him to actually open his eyes for once.
Germany, Monday, 0700
To: Yao Wang
From: Ivan Braginski
Hello! Do you mind if I take the top part of your country?
Russia
To: Ivan Braginski
From: Yao Wang
YES! STAY OUT OF MY COUNTRY, CREEP!
-China
To: Kiku Honda
From: Alfred F. Jones
HEY JAPAN!
Do you think China is okay? Because today I took a look at his notebook and it was full of self-written assurances that "China is the greatest, China is the greatest, China is the greatest, China is the greatest and that creep Russia isn't scary at all, China is the greatest..." He filled the whole thing!
-AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: Kiku Honda
Dear America,
Perhaps one of us should take him to the psychiatrist some day.
Lest he turn into Latvia No. 2.
Sincerely,
Japan
To: Feliciano Vargas
From: Basch Zwingli
Dear Italy,
STAY OUT OF MY PROPERTY! I AM WARNING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME. IF YOU DO NOT I WILL BE FORCED TO BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF LIKE I ALMOST DID LAST TIME, GOT IT?
Very sincerely,
Switzerland
To: Ludwig
From: The Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt
Hallo, West! I took the liberty of finishing up the supply of beer you had at the back of the refrigerator! What were you doing, hiding it from Italy? He doesn't actually drink much so you don't have to worry. Thank me later!
THE AWESOME PRUSSIA!
Memo
Note to Self:
Hide the beer somewhere Prussia WON'T look.
Germany, Wednesday, O825
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Alfred F. Jones
HEY ENGLAND!
Is that weird smell in the neighborhood your doing? Because it smells a lot like charcoal.
-AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: Arthur Kirkland
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MY DOING? ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I BURN STUFF FOR FUN, IDIOT?
- England
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Alfred F. Jones
How about when you're cooking?
-AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Ivan Braginski
From: Arthur Kirkland
Dear Russia,
Would you mind lending me your pickaxe? I feel like de-braining a certain "hero."
Sincerely,
England
To: Francis Bonnefoy
From: Alfred F. Jones
HELLO FRANCE!
Could you let me stay at your house for a while? Because I'm kinda on the run from England! He keeps trying to hack my head off.
Thanks!
-AMERICA THE HERO!
EVERYONE:
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO ENTER MY COUNTRY OR LIECHTENSTEIN UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR BRAINS PAINFULLY DISCONNECTED FROM YOUR HEAD AND YOUR ENTRAILS SCATTERED ACROSS THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
YOURS TRULY,
Switzerland