Most people probably think Hermione's first kiss came from Viktor Krum, during her fourth year. They probably envision it like so: a long night of dancing and flirtatious remarks and coy looks and punch, followed by a great deal of handholding and a chaste goodnight kiss in the glow from the fairy bushes, before she floats up the stairs and he strides back to the Durmstrang ship.

They couldn't be more wrong.

Her first real kiss arrived much sooner, during her second year. She spent most of her waking hours in the library, studying and completing homework weeks in advance. Her constant companions were mostly Ravenclaws, Terry Boot in particular. They got on rather well—both had an insatiable thirst for knowledge; both were rather lacking in the friends or extracurriculars departments. It was no surprise to either of them when they decided to kiss—purely for scientific study, of course.

They set the parameters for their test first, deciding the control group would be friendly kisses to the cheek. Both students were familiar with the scientific method and the need for outlining the limits of your experiment before embarking on it. Much research was done into various forms of kissing, along with different cultural variations on the act. Four weeks after deciding on their experiment, they began. Hermione would record the quantitative data: date, time, length of kiss, placement of kiss, etc. Terry was in charge of noting down the qualitative information: each person's level of comfort, their physical reactions, and their overall enjoyment or displeasure.

The first tentative kisses to their cheeks were mostly pleasant, if not very exciting, and they deemed their experiment off to a promising start. Realizing it would not do to be caught out by Madam Pince, they moved their experiment to a little-used corridor near the Ravenclaw Tower. Of course, the control test had to be repeated, owing to the change in setting, and both students were satisfied to note that their reactions mimicked what they'd felt in the library. Still, it was better to be sure, and a third round of cheek kisses was performed.

Next, they would be testing uncharted waters: mouths-closed, eyes-open, five-second presses of lips to lips. In the pursuit of scientific integrity, Hermione described the way her stomach seemed to wiggle a bit as Terry leaned in, despite feeling a tad embarrassed. Terry reported similar feelings when it was Hermione's turn to administer the kiss. Both agreed that having their eyes open too easily distracted them from the other feelings, and decided that the next round of tests would be performed with eyes closed.

It was a week before they could meet up again, and they learned quickly that closing your eyes before you leaned in was a recipe for disaster and misplaced mouths. Neither Terry nor Hermione noted any feelings of interest when a kiss landed sloppily on a chin or forehead. Deciding to maintain the mouths-closed parameter for the time being, they focused on increasing the duration of the kisses in five-second intervals, carefully casting timer charms at the beginning of each kiss. Both reported feelings of "stomach wiggling" and higher body temperatures increasing in a pattern directly proportional to the length of the kisses. Both deemed it necessary to cease the experiment once the duration reached longer than a minute per kiss, as both were feeling curiously non-objective and out of breath.

The portion of their experiment examining the effects of open-mouth kissing was abruptly abandoned after the first test, due to both parties' general feelings of "icky-ness". Not willing to end the experiment entirely, however, they decided to substitute a different factor, and Terry's suggestion of wrapping their arms around each other beat out Hermione's idea of angling their heads by a slim margin. Interestingly, Hermione reported greater feelings of overall satisfaction with this method than Terry.

Unfortunately, the increased security in light of the Monster of Slytherin meant they had little opportunity to continue testing their hypothesis. They managed to carve out a few moments here and there during study sessions "supervised" by Professor Lockhart, and their experiment moved forward slowly. Both students were at a loss for additional parameters to test (the use of tongues was most decidedly out) but both were also reluctant to call an end to the experiment.

That decision was taken out of their hands, however, because Hermione was Petrified before they could conclude their experiment. Terry worked relentlessly on their data, analyzing and graphing everything he could quantify, hoping that he would have something worthwhile to present when Hermione woke up. The alternatives—that she wouldn't wake up or that he would have nothing solid to show for their work—were equally unthinkable.

Thankfully, neither came to pass, as Hermione was eventually revived, and when Terry went to visit her in the Hospital Wing, he was able to present their disproved hypothesis: that one could recreate feelings of love by repeated physical displays of affection using solid friendship as a foundation. Hermione smiled softly and Terry grinned when they agreed that kisses between friends who were meant to stay friends simply weren't thrilling the way kisses between lovers should be.

Terry's gentle kiss to her lips was not included in their data, however, because it was so full of tangled emotions that neither was able to list their meanings individually.

A/N: Written for the "Seven Kisses" challenge on HPFC. I had thought to try this challenge from the POV of a Dementor, but just lacked inspiration. So I fell back on trusty ol' Hermione (that's what she said). I'm not JK Rowling.