Guilt in Life

Chapter Thirty Seven

Aslan came, showed himself front of everyone. He and Edmund made their ways out of the castle. Behind him, Edmund heard the ice was cracking and soon fell as the lake. Edmund glanced at Aslan, who smiled.

"Aslan!" Lucy hopped to him and hugged him hard, "I've missed you!"

Not many people noticed Aslan somehow, Aslan's trick, Edmund supposed. He glanced at Leif and Claus, who smiled broadly at him. People were busy helping the wounded and searching for the dark creatures in the woods. Edmund knew it was time.

Victory, could you feel that too, Beth?

The Kings and Queens of Narnia bowed at Aslan.

"Rise, kings and queens, and Natasha."

They all rose and stared at him. Natasha came hugging Edmund, "I know you can do it."

Edmund grinned at her, he didn't fail her.

"Welcome home, children," Aslan said, "you've saved Narnia again."

"We're going back to Britain, isn't it?" Lucy whispered.

"Yes, I'm afraid you've grown," Aslan mused, "but Lucy, Narnia may need your help once more."

"By then, I'll be eager to help," Lucy smiled.

"This is really our last time, right?" Peter said in a sad tone, he looked around uneasily.

"I shall not say so," Aslan said, "after all, once kings and queens of Narnia, always a king and queen of Narnia."

"But our time ends here," Susan smiled weakly at Caspian, who mouthed, "I know" at her.

"Children," Aslan breathed and mist came filling the space in front of them, "Home is in the other side. The time is fixed again, you're only gone from home for one day."

Peter nodded, he was always the courageous one, he hugged Natasha and Caspian, first stepped into the mist. There were so many goodbyes of Lucy and Susan, but Edmund only stared at Natasha.

"You know that I'll miss you, right?" Natasha said, "not a day goes by that I will not think of you."

"Be strong," Edmund cupped her face, "I'm not physically with you, but my love stays. Always. When you're tired, or you want to cry, think of someone in the other world wants you to smile."

Natasha smiled. Her face. Her eyes. Edmund would never forget this face.

"You've grown so much," Natasha stroked his hair, "you used to be that annoying, arrogant bastard."

Edmund chuckled, "I love you."

"I love you too, always have, always will."

Edmund noticed both Susan and Lucy went into the mists. Edmund stared at Natasha's face. He hugged her, feeling her petite body in his arms one last time.

He was glad it wasn't a tearful goodbye. He would always see her. In his mind. In his memories.

Edmund hugged Aslan and stood near the mists. He looked at Natasha and remembered meeting her for the first time.

"Goodbye Edmund."

"Goodbye Natasha."

Edmund turned and walked into the mists, he didn't look back. He felt the hard floor. He was in Professor Krike's wardrobe room. It was quiet and-

"It's you!"

The housekeeper came storming in, glaring at him.

"Thief! Professor Krike was nice to you, took you in during the war and you repaid him by breaking in. You little brat-"

"It's a king you're looking at," came a gentle voice. Edmund saw the professor made his way to the room in his sleeping robe. He winked at Edmund, "let's get you home, your mother is worried."

Mrs Pevensie was glad that all of her children were home. Edmund felt her eyeing him during dinner. The children told her everything in Narnia. At night, everyone went to bed and Edmund was sitting in the window sill, looking up to the stars in London, they reminded Edmund of those nights he sat in the woods with Natasha before her betrayal, gazing up to the sky.

Mrs Pevensie came in with two mugs of hot tea, she sat down next to him.

"You've grown, son."

Edmund smiled at her, "a bit."

"A lot in fact, what happened? And that Natasha girl?"

"I fell in love with her," Edmund said honestly, "you heard the adventure. I love her and I'm letting her go."

"Love never let go, Ed," Mrs Pevensie stroked his hair, "Love waits."

"How do you manage when you miss dad?"

"When I miss him, I think of the first time we met and how he changed me. I used to be one of those kids straying in the street. He found me, bought me home and gave me food and something to eat. He made me want to be a better person and I think of everything we been. Living like he's with me."

Edmund stared at his mum, he had always knew she was a strong woman, like Nat, and right now, as his mother hugged her, he could see Natasha in him.

Because, right now, somewhere, she must be missing him too.

It was the last day of their summer holiday, Peter would be making his way to Professor Krike's tomorrow and Susan would sail to America with their mother. Edmund and Lucy would go to Aunt Alberta's. They spent the summer talking about nothing but Narnia. It felt like Nat was listening.

Everyone suggested to clean the house one last time since it would be sold to their neighbour. Edmund heard his sibling's laughter in the house, he was sitting on the lawn after cleaning it.

Edmund stared at the end of the street, for a moment, he had hoped he would see a hooded woman came walking to him. Edmund smiled, he remembered her smile and their kisses.

It was a common knowledge among the Pevensie children that Edmund Pevensie had born a guilt and had fallen in love with a girl in Narnia, and as the Just king closed his eyes, he saw Natasha's face and he felt everything he had felt again as the memories flashed him.

Edmund Pevenise bore many guilt in life, but as he saw Natasha collapsed in his arms right here on the lawn and how they met for the first time in his mind, Edmund went through all the love and pains and cures and wounds again, and for the first time, Edmund Pevensie was guilt-free.

It's the end of Guilt in Life. Thank you for reading.

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