The Edward Elric Song, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

I would like to say, first off, that I'm not an Ed fan girl...this just came to my mind and I couldn't say no. This is actually NOT a love child between my imagination and caffeine. It's just a result of boredom in art class when we watched a movie about the Helvetica font.

Nope, don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, Death Note, Final Fantasy VII, One Piece, or this song.

I'm not bashing anything in this fic, I love Final Fantasy VII and One Piece and I've never watched Naruto or Death Note. I don't really like the original song, though...nor do I like Envy.

Eddie's So Stacked

(Talking)

Oh my gosh, Winry
Look at that automail
It is so big
He looks like one of those author's manga characters
Who understands those authors...
They only like him 'cause he looks like a total bishonen
I mean, look at him! I can't believe it
He's just so jacked, and blond, and smooth
Whoa
Still, he's just too...short!

(Rap)

I like Ed Elric and cannot lie
You other fan girls can't deny
That when he went and rocked Japanimation
With his crazy transmutation

You're hooked
To his bishie looks
And how he mows down all those mooks
Look at the way he's glarin'
Call him chibi and his temper's flarin'

But Edward I'm diggin' those muscles
They're worth the bustle
The fan boys tried to warn me
But with automail
You're a hard core amputee

Ooh, you say Mustang's
Way cooler than good ol' Ed?
Well, 'scuse me, 'scue me
But to me Roy's just too douche-y

I've seen Ed schoolin'
He's got the girls all droolin'
He's jacked
Stacked
Look at all the K.O.'s he's racked

I'm tired of these fan sites
Saying Ling Yao's in the right
But Ling can't clap and just like that
Go lay down the smack

So newbies (yeah)
Newbies (yeah)
If you want some FMA (heck yeah)
Just make sure you watch Brotherhood
Before the first anime

Eddie's so stacked

(Risembol face with the Central booty)

Eddie's so stacked!

I like 'em loud, and blond
And when he's kicking with Alphonse
I just can't help myself, I'm awwing at it all

Now here's the skinny
He pulls out his automail
Goes BAM! Double kill! BAM BAM!

I ain't talkin' bout flames and blaze
'Cause everyone knows it's about arm blades

Some say he gets mad too loosely
And that gets him in trouble
But on the double
He leaves 'em all behind in rubble

So I'm lookin' at this Naruto
Orange-suited ninja talkin' like "YOLO!"
They can keep that chico
I don't want a man in rainbow

A word to the Death Note girls, I know you like Light
You wanna give him a love bit
But I gotta be straight when I say he *sucks*

Till the break of dawn
Ed's got me singin' this song
You prefer Envy, that's just wrong
'Cause that palm tress likes to cross dress and make a mess
And I'd rather know a guy's gender

'Cause Ed's tough, and he's buff
And he won't put up with your yaoi fuff

So fan girls (yeah)
Fan girls (yeah)
If you wanna get with a boss (Oh yeah)

Then turn it on
Read it too
Even Father's gotta say

Eddie's so stacked

Yeah, when it comes to characters
Otaku's got nothing to do with my selection
Silver hair and glowing eyes?
Ha ha ha, not even if he's Sephiroth...

So fans are sometimes bothered
To think if Ed is beaten by Father
But Father can hardly be considered hotter
The ending made it clear as brass
That Ed can beat Father's (transmutation sound)

You can try tank tops or funny hats
But please don't loose that cloak

Some posers wanna play the smooth guy
And tell you manga just ain't fly
So they ditch it and beat it
And I go ahead and read it

So they say One Piece beats all?
Well, they're gonna start a brawl
'Cause his automail's sleek and his alchemy rocks
And we love the blond locks

To the die hard fans of reality TV
I'm not missing a thing
Give me Ed and his war over a Jersey Shore whore
Alchemy and automail never bore

Some Homunculi tried to dis
The one sacrifice on their list
They had power but they couldn't whomp 'im
So Ed went ahead and curbstomped 'em

So fan girls if you want adventure
But you don't want Winry to wrench ya
Dial 1-900-FULLMETAL
And buckle up for the ride

Eddie's so stacked

Risembol face with the Central booty

I may write more songs! This is an addiction of mine.