Things Have Changed

Nyota packed up all of her personal items out of her office in the administration building, sadly. Mostly everything was packed and ready to remove, but there were a few items which she hardly wanted to look at, but knew that she wanted to keep. The first of these difficult items was one that she found upon entering her office for the first time after her return to Earth. It was a gift from her now deceased supervisor, Senior Chief Coleen Doyle. It was a thermos made specifically to fit Starfleet regulations to be permissibly used at any workstation on the starships. "Uhura" was engraved across the front of the metallic emerald green colored thermos and a bow had been tied around it, with a note stuck to it. When she picked up the note and read:

Lt. Uhura,

I am sorry that I did not place you on the ship which your heart desires to be assigned to. We decided that it was best for everyone to place you on another, so I selected the ship that I will be on. I hope that this decision does not affect our newly developed friendship. Thank you for listening to me about Oscar. We are heading for the ship now and will most likely see you on board later. Here is a small gift to celebrate the first time that both you and I report to a starship.

Coleen

P.S. I got myself a container just like it. Maybe we can have tea together on the Farragut. I'm so excited!

Nyota immediately began to cry. She had not given much thought to Doyle the entire span of the incident and the gift and the note cause her a great deal of grief, for that fact. When they left, Doyle and she had not been developing a friendship, as far as Nyota was concerned, they were just trying to get along after having had battles over Spock. Now, Nyota wished that she could just see the woman and tell her that she forgave her. She decided that she would not hold grudges again. There was no telling when someone would die, and life was too short for holding something against them and not getting along. She placed the note into the thermos and the thermos into her box.

Then, there was a framed photo of herself and Gaila, kissing at the camera. The two of them were both seated underneath "Uhura's tree" on a blanket and they had leaned into each other as though they were going to kiss, but at the last moment, faced the camera with their lips still puckered. It was one of Nyota's favorite photos of herself and Gaila, and she planned on keeping every single photo of the two of them, and Gaila alone which she had in her possession on the ship with her. The photo brought her a smile as she placed it into her box.

The last and most cherished personal item in the room was her early birthday scroll, which Spock had given her. She took the scroll off of its post and delicately rolled it up, then placed it safely at the top of her box. As she left the administration building, she passed by Doyle's office, which was shut and appeared emptied of her personals.

Uhura had been asked to perform a song for the grand memorial service, and she had decided on Beyond Antares, because it had been one of Gaila's favorites, which she had been known to sing to Gaila on some nights. She would consider this her last time to sing it for her friend.:

The skies are green and glowingWhere my heartisWhere my heart isWhere...the scented lunar flower is bloomingSomewhere, beyond the starsBeyond Antares

I'll be back though it takes foreverForever is just a is just another journeyTomorrow a stop along the way

And let the years go fadingWhere my heart isWhere my heart isWhere my love eternally is waitingSomewhere, beyond the starsBeyond Antares

Her eyes were filled with tears half way through the song, but she did not allow it to cut into her performance, and when she was done, she gracefully left the stage, trying to avoid all of the eyes of all of the crying cadets and staff present. Nyota wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. Her PADD alerted with a message and she read:

Thank you so much. That was beautiful. Janice. She smiled about the fact that Janice was still with her, and she was delighted about the fact that Spock had assigned Janice to the Enterprise as the Captain's personal assistant. Now, she would get to see Janice, regularly. She needed a friend in that place. After everything that had happened, she did not know how even she, Ms. Independent would go on without a friend.

Her graduation seemed endless, as many graduates who were killed and not able to make it to graduation were acknowledged, then all of the surviving graduates were announced. She expected to be amongst the last of them, with her last name being Uhura, but she could hardly wait until the ceremony was over.

After it was, she met with her family. Yakpazauh, her elder brother, and Toimu, her younger brother accompanied her parents, Mwinyi and Ashaki to their sister's ceremony. Her elder brother, the spitting image of her father, but with his long hair in dreadlocks which fell well past his shoulders and no facial hair, cheered as he saw her, "You have really been working all of your pretty head to make it through this academy, have you not? I started to believe that the list of your accomplishments would not end." He gave her a gigantic hug in which she was certain he was deliberately trying to crack her bones.

Toimu, who looked more like his mother and Nyota, with skin closer to his father's dark hue, and a puffy ponytail in the back of his head said, "Well what else would we expect from the family star? I am surprised that the list is not still going." He gave her an equally big hug. "It is good that you have gotten over middle child syndrome, or else you may still be at home in Africa."

"Or worse, married to Livingston Kurok!" Yakpazauh added.

Now, everyone became silent. Nyota stared at the ground, too hurt to even respond to her brother's off colored comment about the man she almost married who was now a Federation fugitive. She had been so hurt by the mission, losing her friends, and losing Spock, that she currently had no drive to fight her brother on his tactlessness. After a while, Mwinyi stated, in Swahili, "It is in poor taste to bring that man's name up on Nyota's special day, and to be frank, Yakpazauh, I do not want to have to hear it brought up amongst this family again." Yakpazauh nodded his head once, and Mwinyi continued on to say, "Nyota is a distinguished graduate of Starfleet Academy. She is no longer my little girl nor is she your kid sister. She is a woman, who has endured more than all of us combined while on that ship out there. She has earned respect amongst us, just as she has it amongst her colleagues."

Nyota smiled at her father and gave him a hug too. Ashaki asked, "Is Commander Spock joining us today, Nyota? I have been wanting to see him and thank him since your recovery from that illness." Now, Nyota stopped smiling and lowered her head, again, but briefly this time. Ashaki suddenly felt terrible for bringing Spock's name up, "I'm sorry, Princess. Of course Spock is not coming. He recently lost his entire planet... Is he doing alright, at least?"

Nyota shrugged her shoulders and said, "He seems to be doing fine. He is doing better than any of us would in his situation. He is planning on leaving Starfleet to help rebuild his race."

Mwinyi now asked, "And you do not wish to be with him?"

Nyota's response was, "All of those accomplishments you heard at my graduation were managed in my goal to serve on a starship, and that is what I am going to do. Spock and I have separate paths. We will remain friends, and speak when we have the opportunity."

Now, Ashaki's face brightened as she noticed something behind Nyota, "Oh, there he is, now, Nyota!" She waved excitedly at the Vulcan and called, "Commander Spock!" Yakpazauh shook his head at his mother's behavior and Toimu chuckled a little. Spock approached the group and Ashaki threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him, then quickly withdrew, "I did not want to show you too much warmth, as I know it is an uncomfortable thing for someone like you, but I never had the chance to thank you in person for saving our Nyota. She is the only girl in the home. These are my other two children. Nyota's older brother, Yakpazauh, and her younger brother, Toimu" The woman placed her hand on the shoulder of each of her sons as she introduced them. Spock was familiar with them as Nyota had told him several things about the entire family and shown him several photos, as well.

Spock greeted the entire family, courteously, and when his eyes fell upon Mwinyi he said, "Hello, Dr. Uhura. If I may obtain your contact information, my father and some of the surviving elders of Vulcan would like an opportunity to become acquainted with you. There are areas within your profession which they would greatly appreciate your expertise on." Mwinyi and Nyota both looked completely shocked. Dr. Mwinyi Uhura, in his many years of xenopsychiatry, had been trying to have interactions with Vulcans for years to share psychiatric information with their race, and all of the time, Vulcan rejected his requests.

With a hint of displeasure in his voice, Mwinyi asked, "Is that supposed to be a joke, Commander Spock?"

"I have no sense of humor which I am currently aware of." Spock answered.

Ashaki put her arm into Nyota's and said, "You men just talk for a while, I am going to take a brief walk with my daughter." Nyota frowned and looked at her brothers. they forced smiles and shrugged their shoulders. She was not particularly excited about her mother pulling her aside, as the woman might drag emotions out of her which she did not currently wish to convey, Spock proceeded to gather Mwinyi's contact information in his PADD as Ashaki led Nyota not too far away from them and asked, "How are you holding up with his leaving?"

"I will be fine, Mama." Nyota answered.

"But you love him." Ashaki insisted. Nyota did not know what her mother was getting at, but she knew that this conversation was bothering her, immensely. She wanted to tell the woman to leave the subject alone.

She found the most respectful way that she could do so in saying, "I love you too, Mama. I barely see you either. I am fine through that and I will be fine through this. That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

Ashaki made a sad face and looked towards the sky as she said, "I wonder how strong God thinks you need to get, before He allows you some peace?"

Nyota smiled at her mother and said, "I have peace Mama. Everyone goes through some pain. I don't want to talk about anything depressing. I want to enjoy my moments with you before I leave." She walked back over to where the others were, and said, "Is everyone ready to head out?"

Spock looked at her, somewhat expectantly and began to walk away, slowly. She glanced at her family and said, "He does not realize sometimes about manners. I'll be right back." She walked over to him and asked, "What is it?"

"I simply hoped to wish you a safe journey. Live long and prosper." He gave her the traditional Vulcan salute, which she returned, out of respect to him. Then, Spock turned to walk away, but she grabbed his arm and he faced her again. She glanced at her family, shortly, turned her back to them and placed her two fingers out towards him. He looked at the gesture which she was extending to him. The Vulcan equivalent of a kiss between bonded lovers, with her index and middle fingers together pointed out.

"Goodbye, Spock." She said. Spock now glanced at her family as well, turned to face the same direction as she and allowed his fingers to meet hers. The feeling was dynamic. They allowed it to linger between them as they continued speaking.

"Until we meet again, Nyota." He corrected, then added, "Thank you for understanding what I must do."

Nyota shook her head and confessed, "I actually don't, Spock. I simply accept it as something that I can not change and should not try to. I do not want things any harder for you than they have already been. That is one of the characteristics of love." She involuntarily broke the Vulcan connection to wrap her arms around him and he hugged her gently, as she squeezed him tightly. Her family stood a short distance away watching them. Both of her parents found themselves saddened by the interaction. Their child's heart was breaking and there was nothing that they could do to stop it. Her brothers were more focused on the fact that this man's arms were around their sister, but they realized that if Mwinyi had nothing to say about it, then it must have been alright. Spock pulled back slightly to look into her eyes for a moment. He wanted to kiss her, but instead broke their contact and walked away. She found herself smiling slightly at his back and turned again to meet with her family so that she could leave the campus to have a night out with them, before she left for space.

Did it ever run out? This understanding of hers which flowed out of her so completely? It was much more than most humans typically held within and it made him want to keep her by his side for the rest of her life. He wished that there was a way to fulfill his duties as an endangered Vulcan, planning on rebuilding and be with her simultaneously. At the moment, there was none. He wished that it did not have to be such a grave choice. Your heritage and the future of your people, or the only woman to ever love you this way... He took a deep breath. The good of the many outweighs the good of the few, or the one. As he walked, he saw the back of Sarek's head. What exactly was Sarek doing, walking about? He called out to him, "Father."

When the elder Vulcan male turned to face him, the sight of him somewhat confused Spock. This was not Sarek, nor was it any of the other elders that he was familiar with. Where had this Vulcan come from? He approached him and they came together as the elder one confessed, "I am not our father." Spock squinted in recognition. This Vulcan was himself, only older. This Vulcan must have been the Ambassador Spock which the ship Spock had destroyed belonged to. This is my future self. He realized as the two came together to speak.

After the conversation, Spock watched Ambassador Spock walk away, perhaps out of his life forever, perhaps only for a fraction of time... but he had just been given an opportunity which most beings could never claim they had been given. He had been given his own advice from a version of himself who had hindsight already. "Do what feels right." Spock thought about these words with great concentration. What does feel right? He asked himself. The man who murdered his mother was destroyed. The people who had briefly seen him at his best and his absolute worse were all there for him when the time had come to destroy Nero. They were all on the Enterprise, most importantly, the woman who knew him best and still loved him more than anyone else. Nyota.

Ambassador Spock had not mentioned her. He had only mentioned Kirk. The relationship between himself and Kirk had been more to himself in his other reality, but he knew that this was not the case in this life. Some part of Spock had always believed that once Nyota became comfortable in her career, they would part ways, civilly, remain friends, maybe even colleagues, but eventually drift apart and their emotions would fade or transform into something closer to mutual respect than what they now shared. He could realistically imagine a reality in which they did not love each other, at some point in time. Now, such a future seemed so painful. Now, she was too important. She felt right.

The ambassador had advised him to remain in Starfleet and practically assured Spock that he would take care of anything that Spock would have taken care of. Now that Spock thought about it, Ambassador Spock would most likely handle all tasks on the new planet even better than he could himself, having so much more experience and knowledge than he did. If Spock was going to continue his career in Starfleet, he would report to the Enterprise. If Kirk would have him aboard, he would fill the same position for Captain Kirk that he had for Captain Pike, as a science officer and the first mate of the ship.

That position would place his console directly next to Nyota's. She would be close enough for him to smell her fragrance for the duration of any shift which he would work with her, and he would not be able to resist looking upon her when he could. He did not think that he could simply ask her to forgive his current instability, as he had already left her. He believed that she would accept him back, and with his newfound advice, decided that whether or not she did, the prospect certainly was worth trying for. Hopefully, she would still be understanding and she would decide to trust him again with her heart. If she did, he knew that he would not betray her trust. He would not treat her the same way that he always had. His life had changed. Nero made certain of that, but Ambassador Spock wanted his life to change for the better.

Spock thought that he may have to tell her those words... the ones that he had not been able to tell her when they were together last, the ones that he was always too logical to tell his mother.

When Spock stepped onto the bridge, Uhura jumped up from her seat and walked a small distance to stand where she could get a better look at him as he and Kirk spoke, briefly. Her heart fluttered like frantic wings inside of her chest and she wanted to rush over to him and throw her arms around him. That would not have been professional. She could not believe what she was hearing him request... Of course Kirk would have him as first mate! Sometimes she wondered if Vulcan logic did not endanger common sense.

Spock headed for his seat and as he passed her gave her a short nod and a semblance of a smile. She politely offered him a small smile of her own, then turned her back to him to unleash the giddy school girl smile that she wished she could have kept from her face in this setting. However, no one seemed to notice it as she returned to her own seat, as everyone else on the ship suddenly seemed a great deal happier than they just had, moments before he returned to them.

When Lt. Hawkins came to the bridge to relieve Uhura for her shift, she smiled gratefully and stood up. The man, whom she had become only slightly familiar with after having to replace him on the bridge during the Vulcan crisis smiled at her, then looked at Spock and stated, "I'm sure that you have things that you would rather be doing." Uhura stopped smiling and dared him to continue with her look. He placed his hands in the air and said, "Too bold. Sorry. I hope that it doesn't interfere with the linguistic training that you are helping me through."

"Not at all, Lt. Hawkins. Now if you would excuse me, there are things that I would rather be doing." Uhura laughed and left her console and walked over to the Captain's chair where Spock was standing with his hands behind his back, talking to Kirk.

They both silenced themselves when she appeared in their midst.

Kirk smiled at her and asked, "Something I can help you with, Lt. Uhura?"

Uhura answered, "No sir. I was just going to let you know that the shift outlined for me has ended and Lt. Hawkins is now at the console. May I be dismissed?"

Kirk waved a hand at her and said, "Dismissed Lieutenant. Mr. Spock, why don't you get on out of here, as well." It seemed to be an order, and Spock was a bit confused as to why Kirk would be ordering him off the bridge when they had a conversation in progress.

Spock lifted an eyebrow and questioned, "Captain?"

Kirk shrugged and said, "The bridge is manned enough for the amount of action we have going on. I promise that if something comes up that requires your expertise, I will call you. I seriously doubt that anything is going to happen anytime soon. There's no need for both of us to be out here dying of boredom."

Spock, no matter how new of a creature he had become deemed it necessary to keep his sound logic and informed Kirk, in case he really did not know, "Captain, the state of boredom is not capable of causing death within any known humanoid creature. Therefore, you have no worries as it relates to such an illogical situation occurring."

Kirk looked at Uhura and she snickered at Spock's information. Kirk asked, "Is he really like this all of the time?"

"All of the time that I have known him." She answered. Spock looked at both of them, thinking that he may be a source of amusement at the moment, and did not know if he liked being so. He did not react, but she offered, "It is who he is and one of his better characteristics, Captain." Now, he felt better about the situation, although he still had no reaction.

Kirk stared at Spock for a moment, then asked, "Are you going to leave with her, or not? You and I can finish the conversation that we were having later." Spock tilted his head toward Kirk and began to walk away with Uhura right next to him.

"It's hard to believe that the two of you have become so relaxed with each other." She commented. "I can hardly believe that I am actually considering him to be a friend. Things have changed so much." Spock did not respond to her words as they walked to her quarters.

Upon entering her quarters, she apologized, "Sorry that it's such a mess. I haven't had the chance to fully unpack and get everything situated yet. Would you like to sit down?" She asked sitting herself on the bed.

Spock announced, "I have a graduation gift for you." He handed her a data slate and told her, "Months ago, when my parents visited, I made an assignment for two of my classes in which..."

"The love translation assignment?" She asked with twinkling eyes.

Her outburst silenced him momentarily as he knew that he never discussed this assignment with her. Spock lifted his eyebrow and stated, "I did not speak with you about this particular assignment."

She waved her hand and said, "I know. It's a long story. What about it?" Gaila had friends in the class at the time and they had tried to get Gaila to talk Uhura into talking Spock into canceling the assignment. She had never mentioned it to him, because she had not wanted to bring love up, until after she had accidentally told him that she loved him. By that time, their relationship was too fragile for her to think to bring it up.

Spock answered her question, "I borrowed some of the words from the assignments and corrected some of the statements, to create this recording for you. It is spoken in Vulcan, but I used only the words which I found to be most accurate in my relation to you. I was uncertain as to if I would ever present it to you; however, as I realized that I had not presented you with a token to honor your graduation from the academy, I concluded that now might be a suitable time to do so. Also, these are things which I believe I should have told you and that you should know."

"This is a recording of you professing your love to me?" Uhura asked, tenderly, her eyes focused on him intensively.

Spock's eyes drifted to the side, as he did not really want to look at her for the moment, nor did he want to directly answer the question. He assumed it was rhetorical and stated, "You do not ever have to listen to it; however, as I did not have the chance to candidly speak with you, before, I have created a means as to speak to you, if you ever wish to hear the words."

She placed the data slate on the nightstand by her bed and stood up. Spock watched her take the few steps to fill in the gaps between them and tried to control his breath as she took both of his hands into hers, placed his arms around her, then wrapped her own gently around him. She looked deeply into his eyes and he suddenly remembered that he had vowed to himself that things would be different between them if she had allowed him another chance. Spock was not engaged in gambling or guessing very much, but he was willing to estimate that this was a sign that he was being given another chance. She softly stated, "I do wish to hear the words. I will listen to it another time. For now, summarize it for me."

Spock hesitated only a moment, knowing that the part of him that was trying to keep him from speaking was a part of him that he would have to battle frequently now, but it was something that he was willing to do. He was willing to suppress his logic, to a degree, in honor of his emotion. He pulled her even closer to him and he whispered gently, "I love you." Nyota exhaled deeply, finding it extremely difficult to believe that she had just heard him say such a thing. He surprised her even further by asking, "And how do you currently feel about me, Nyota, after everything that has taken place?"

His eyes seemed a little worried. She laughed slightly in disbelief that he felt he even had to ask, but then realized that like herself, he probably just wanted to hear it confirmed. She blurted, "I love you too, Spock." She also choked out, "Now, more than ever." Spock gathered her face to his and kissed her deeply. The two of them stood there for a portion of time that neither wanted to measure, nor did they want it to end. Things would be different for them, from now on. They both knew it. They were different, and together, they would be different, but the one constant in the equation was their love for each other.

The End…

Originally, the next story in line was New Vulcan Generations; but, I'm still debating on whether to post that one next or to write another that occurs between this one and that one. Hmmm…