The first time, it was an accident.

Penny clung to that, she gripped that thought with every sliver of strength in her soul and refused to let go. The first time Penny had killed her boyfriend, it was an accident. She hadn't planned to murder anyone. Penny wasn't some psychopath who just didn't care. A creep who was fascinated by death, or some pervert who got off to the thought of corpses and blood.

She wasn't.

The first time, Brad, a guy who had almost gotten her pregnant. A guy who she had given her backdoor virginity to. The guy Penny trusted and loved, had cheated on her.

Penny had confronted him in Old Bakers Barn. It was a pretty creepy place. Old Sean Baker hadn't plowed his land or used the barn in a good decade, he was too old, and his children and their children didn't care for the farming lifestyle or Old Sean. The barn shed was a bit cramped, with tools all over the wall, and the smell of musty ancient hay and rust. But it was their place, so Penny had managed to find it romantic anyway.

Brad and Penny had discovered the place by accident. One rainy day when driving around wasn't the best thing to do, and there was far too much junk in the back seat to make out comfortably. It was where they'd first gone all the way. It was where Brad had told her he loved her, and Penny had decided she trusted that. Trusted him.

He'd shattered that trust.

He had broken her heart. He had crushed her soul. He deserved it when Penny, in her rage, grabbed a shovel and swung at his head.

She had been utterly unprepared for the way the edge of the shovel buried itself into his skull. She hadn't realized she still knew to swing with all she had. Penny had apparently kept enough of her old tomboy self inside her to stare at the blood leaking from his head like paint from a punctured can in fascination instead of disgust.

She hadn't known what to do.

Penny had panicked. Buried him with the same shovel she'd killed him with. Then she had hidden the shovel in a stack of hay and searched until she found some lighter fluid. She had poured in all over the barn shed, extra over the hay, then reached for the lighter Penny used when she managed to sneak a smoke.

She set the whole thing on fire.

Then Penny ran, she never looked back. She'd rushed into her house sobbing, headed straight for the bathroom and got into her shower fully clothed. All her sister managed to get out of her was that Brad had cheated on her.

That night, while Penny tossed and turned while trying to sleep, trying not to think, until she gave up. It clearly wasn't happening. She had gotten up, creeping slowly through the house until she hit the liquor cabinet. Grabbing the first bottle she saw before downing a good half of it and then crawling back into bed.

It was the first time Penny had to drink herself to sleep.

It wasn't the last.

The barn burning down made the morning news. They'd chalked it up to some old equipment malfunction, or something equally stupid. Whatever it was, Bakers insurance covered it, apparently, and he'd made quite a lot of cash. It had his grandchildren remembering he existed, so it had to be quite a bit.

Brad was declared missing a full three days later. It had taken his mom a while to realize he was gone. Some people said he skipped town. Others that he had gotten kidnapped. No one ever connected his disappearance with a burnt down barn. Penny was the only one who knew exactly what had happened to Brad.

No one else ever would.

At least, not until a good ten years later, when she needed help hiding another body.

xXx

Sheldon's heroics had never landed him in front of a murder scene before.

But then, Sheldon wasn't exactly in the habit of bursting into Penny's apartment in the middle of the day. So perhaps Penny had beaten other men to death with her metal baseball bat, and he'd simply never known about it.

He'd rushed right in when he'd heard Penny's distinctive scream, followed by a crash and the hostile voice of a male. It didn't take someone with his intellect to make all the connections.

Penny had barely noticed him. Far too busy bashing the larger man in the head with her bat.

"I believe he's quite dead," Sheldon informed her, helpfully. She was getting unnecessary blood all over the floor.

Penny gasped, dropping her bat and staring at the corpse before her in horror.

"He tried to rape me," Penny stated, her eyes never leaving the body on her floor, "We spent a few nights together, but he was an asshole. I just didn't want him anymore."

Her eyes were still wide, face flushed from exertion, but her voice was commendably steady.

"I thought so," Sheldon nodded, his hypothesis confirmed, "That's why I rushed in. Usually, I prefer to knock, but most rapist will stop if discovered. I see you had things well in hand however, I'll be going now."

"Wait!" Penny hissed urgently. "You can't go! Sheldon, you have to help me get rid of him!"

Sheldon arched an eyebrow incredulously, "I have to do no such thing. I'm not comfortable being an accessory to murder."

"It's not murder!" Penny snarled at him, "It was self-defense, okay! I Just got a little carried away. I didn't realize how hard I was hitting him, Sheldon! It was an accident."

"Be that as it may, Penny, I was hoping you wouldn't even mention me in the police report. I have no wish to attend court. Even if it is to get you a sentence of involuntary manslaughter."

"In-Invol-" Penny's eyes widened, horrified, she fell silent, stuttering to a halt. She looked back down at the body, her fists clenching.

"Involuntary manslaughter," Sheldon supplied. But that would only stick if she got a good defense lawyer. Penny wasn't exactly financially sound.

"I don't care!" Penny burst out, unexpectedly. "You're a genius aren't you? No one figured out you blew up that elevator! Can't you do me a favor? Just this once! Think of it like a challenge. I've gotten rid of a body before! And I'm not as smart as you!"

So this wasn't the first time Penny had killed someone. Sheldon wondered if that should worry him. They did have a tendency to butt heads every once in a while. He doesn't particularly like the idea of Penny offing him with her bat over some imagined offense.

But Penny is his friend. And she needs his help, his whole purpose upon entering the apartment was to assist her.

Besides, surely if Penny could do it, so could he.

"Very well, on one condition," He said.

Penny's face broke into a relieved smile, "Name it."

"You sign a contract agreeing not to kill me," Sheldon stated. He'd take other precautions of course. But it would help his chances at survival if Penny believed he was off limits for as many reasons as possible.

"Done!" Penny chirped, her sorrow at the death of her former lover clearly completely forgotten. Just how practiced at this was she? Sheldon wondered. But then, she said she needed help disposing of the body. So she couldn't have that much experience.

"Go get three large heavy-duty black garbage bags and your shower curtain. I'll get my gloves and the peroxide, I'll be right back." He stated. He'd also need to look up the search patterns done along the desert.

They worked surprisingly well together. All of the teamwork they'd fostered from making Penny Blossoms had held over the years. The mess was soon cleaned, the body was wrapped up and stowed in Penny's trunk within twenty minutes.

Sheldon even managed to get the entire story of Penny's first, and previously only, murder on their way towards the Californian desert. Having made the necessary stop to purchase a shovel. Considering the way Penny drove they were back in time for Halo night.

No one else suspected a thing.

Sheldon never even saw a missing person poster, or a police cruiser circling the building. He almost couldn't believe it had truly been that simple. It was the fourth time he'd felt cheated by the CSI people on TV.

xXx

The third time, it's Kurt.

Frankly, that's Penny's excuse.

It's Kurt.

The guy had taken, and wasted, a good four years of Penny's life. And yet he somehow always managed to sway her. He could always talk his way back into her good graces, back into her pants.

With his "I really miss you Pen," and, "We're really good together." The oh so popular, "I'm so sorry baby". Penny always fell for it, even when she knew better. Then he was just such a dick, such a raging asshole, and Penny just couldn't take it. He made her so angry, so very mad.

She had just been opening up another bottle of wine, minding her business after having broken up with Kurt for the fifth time in her life. Then suddenly he'd walked right in-because Penny just couldn't seem to learn to lock her door.

He'd closed the door behind him, that irritating "C'mon Penny," smile on his face. And "I'm sorry baby," halfway out of his mouth.

Penny didn't even think about it. She didn't make a conscious decision.

Or at least, not much of one. It was just a thought. A small niggling that whispered about how much nicer the world would be if Kurt wasn't all alive in it. Just how easily she could help that reality along...

One moment the wine bottle was in her hands, and the next thing she knew It had made a journey across the room and straight into Kurt's face.

Then there was some screaming, he clutched at his face, and fell down. Blood spilling from his head and staining her carpet.

He didn't get back up again.

Penny watched, fascinated as he squirmed, groaning and bleeding all over her floor. He went still.

Finally, once the twitching stopped, Penny just knew she would have to either burn her carpet or bury Kurt in it. It was so soaked with his blood. She called Sheldon. Kurt was a very big guy, and even if she wanted to, she couldn't get rid of him on her own.

Penny didn't even bother with pleasantries, "Sheldon, I need you to help me again."

There was a small awkward pause before, "And does the task with which you require my assistance involve a shower curtain?"

Penny smiled, she had no idea why Sheldon seemed to be so okay with her killing people, but man was she grateful, "It's like that, but a rug this time, it got really dirty, and I was thinking about replacing it anyway."

"Very well," Came Sheldon's voice, sounding oddly resigned, "You'll have to come to pick me up."

"Thank a lot Sheldon, this really means a lot to me."

"You're welcome. Oh, and Penny?"

"Yes?"

"Remember to lock the door."

It takes a good half an hour this time, and that's just readying the supplies. Kurt is much, much bigger than anyone Penny had gotten rid of before. Sheldon had assured her that he wouldn't fit in her truck, so it was a good thing she'd been ready to sacrifice the rug.

The rope comes up with them, but the shovel stays hidden in the trunk.

They've just finished pushing the couch off the rug when Kurt jerks. Sheldon jumps like a scalded cat but he doesn't make a sound. Penny's not so lucky, letting out a muted shriek.

Kurt moans, and Penny almost can't believe he's alive.

She also almost can't believe how very upset she is by that, shouldn't she be relieved? It would mean she finally didn't accidentally off someone for once. She really should be happy about that... But it doesn't really change the fact that she isn't.

Then she watches in shock as Sheldon puts his foot over Kurt's throat and stomps down. He holds it there for a good five minutes. Long after Kurt goes completely still. Penny knows because he'd been counting it down with his watch, an annoyed look on his face the whole time.

She isn't prepared to have him glare at her, "The next time you ask my assistance in disposing of a body, please make sure it's actually dead."

Penny just stares at him incredulously. Then she shakes her head, really, only Sheldon.

"I'll keep that in mind."

xXx

It was only a matter of time.

Sheldon always had a short temper, and no matter how much he would prefer to be, he wasn't a Vulcan. Anger was everything but logical.

Sheldon stared down at the blood on his hands. Barry Kripke's blood. The blood he'd drawn with a conveniently placed staple gun. Two simple clicks against his coronary artery and Kripke's own heart pumped the blood out of his body.

It gushed like a fountain.

Sheldon stared at it. Utterly detached. He'd been waiting for this moment since he was six years old. The first time he'd decided that life really would be much simpler if the boys that bullied him were to die.

It hadn't taken much to make a small bomb. Not even enough for property damage really, just enough force to tear another six-year-old limb from limb. Sheldon figured that he'd only need to make an example out of one for the rest of them to get the point.

He was perfectly willing to kill them all if they didn't though. Sheldon wasn't a quitter.

If George Jr. hadn't left one of his comic books lying around that day, it would have never even occurred to Sheldon that killing another human being might have been wrong. But George Jr., slob that he was, had. And so various little boys who liked to torment the resident genius got to live.

Not that any of them ever realized that they had come so close to such an awful end. Sheldon had known better than to tell anyone.

It hadn't changed certain things though, like Sheldon's willingness to kill people for any offense. Or even his ability to do so. He knew this was technically his second time killing someone. He had finished off Kurt after all. But Sheldon didn't really count that. Penny had started him and left the job halfway done, as she was wont to do. So he still considered that her kill.

Even so... Sheldon just didn't see what was so awful about killing someone.

He'd just had enough moral fiber to refrain before. But now, knowing that he could get away with it. Knowing just how easily he could dispose of the body, even if it did make him a villain, instead of the hero, Sheldon found it hard to care.

He'd always hated Kripke.

Sheldon was glad he was dead.

And honestly, he was rather glad he'd been the one to kill him.

He thought rather wistfully of subjecting Winkle to a similar fate. Then shook the daydream away. If people he was public enemies with started disappearing, it would become rather obvious that he was involved with the aforementioned disappearances. It was best not to. At least for now...

First, he locked the door. Never let it be said he didn't learn from other peoples mistakes. Her carelessness was how he'd discovered Penny. He would never let the same thing happen to him.

He then reached into his messenger bag for his bottle of hydrogen peroxide and rubber gloves. Despite the fact that Kripke's murder, and Sheldon saw no point in kidding himself, it was murder, hadn't been premeditated, Sheldon was still quite prepared to take care of it.

Such was the beauty of being prepared for every eventuality.

If only Penny subscribed to a similar philosophy. Then she wouldn't require his genius every time she got a little too forceful with her bat, or a wine bottle.

Penny could call what she did accidents all she wanted. They probably were all crimes of passion anyway. She was very volatile, but that didn't change the fact that she chose to hide the bodies of her paramours instead of turning herself in. Nor did it change the fact that Sheldon had helped, and that he'd made that decision consciously.

Penny had always been a good friend. And friends helped each other.

Which was why Sheldon called her after he'd placed a band-aid on Kripke's neck and cleaned up the blood. Surveying the room for anything he'd missed as it begun to ring. It truly paid to have an eidetic memory. He restored the room back exactly the way he found it.

Penny picked up on the sixth ring.

"Sheldon?"

"Hello, Penny."

"Um, hi? Is something wrong? You don't usually call me... For anything really."

"This is a special occasion. I require transportation. And possibly, a shower curtain. But preferably three large heavy duty garbage bags."

There was a pause as Penny digested that.

"Where are you?" That was a pretty stupid question. But...

"The university." Obviously. Where else would he be at three o'clock on a Thursday afternoon?

"I'll be right there."

"I thought so."

If nothing else, Penny was certainly reliable.

XxX

I always feel like I follow the fairy tale notion of love between these two, so I thought about how I'd go about a Darkfic and this bunny decided to hold my creativity hostage. So I figured it was best for every body involved if I just finished it. I think this might have two chapters left, since obviously the romance hasn't started. But there will be. This chapter was just establishing that there's blood and death in this universe. And neither character is terribly bothered by it. Please tell me what you think. It helps me write and the sooner I finish this, the quicker I can get back to my regular shenny fics. Unless you guys like this of course. in which case I will endeavor to squeeze out a dark bunny every once in a while:) Let me know!