The memory burns like a wildfire out of control. I still feel your hands on my shoulders. You squeezed me probably more than you wanted to. The memory of your gleaming wild eyes, burning through me like a lightning. You were different person in that moment; you didn't even see me. You saw someone else instead. You were mentally absent.

The memory of my feelings ..... I felt humiliated, I felt like you were forgetting everything we had before, all our relations were void in that specific moment. You hurt me ... it still hurts.

The memory burns. I try to hide it, I try to forget (as if I could!), I try to think of it as if it never happened. I can't. From time to time this memory comes back.

I understood you; I was just someone, who was at hand in that moment. And I was in your way. Your desires were somewhere else.

But, although I can't forget, I can forgive. That's the best I can do. And I do forgive you for saying those words.

Dylan, I AM more than a machine. I just hope you'll see me that way someday. I hope for it. I would do anything to make you see it. It would make me happier than you can imagine. I long for that moment with all my being.

Yes, I AM more than a machine. And sometimes when it comes to you ....... I am not objective.