Notes at the end.

Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Warnings: PWP for the most part, EWE (if related to canon at all), and slash. Un-beta'ed. Also, I suck at writing decent sex scenes, Oh, and see notes.

Book of the Road

Hitchhikers, generally speaking, were either psychotic serial killers or brain-dead twits in search of adventure regardless of the danger. Potter might fall in the second category, but Severus did not completely dismiss the possibility of the first.

"Will you give me a lift or not?" Potter asked, his red mouth twisting into a pouty frown. He squinted up at Severus and tilted his head to the side. His hair was long enough to cover his ears and his cheek was covered in scratches. The neckband of his shirt was worn and stretched thin, giving Severus a look at Potter's collarbone.

"Not for free," Severus said, leaning against the side of his Leyland. Only brain-dead twits would think they can go off in search of adventure without paying a price.

"I don't have much money," Potter said.

"I can tell," Severus said, giving Potter another once-over. Potter's trainers alone look about two steps' away from complete disintegration. "But I don't want your money."

Potter's cheeks reddened as did his lips as he licked them. "What do you want, then?"

"You mean you traveled this far and you don't already know?" Severus scoffed. He ran a finger down Potter's arm. "Of all the things I've had to spell out so that your simple mind could better understand…"

Potter's entire face went red at the implication and jerked away. "You're disgusting," he scowled.

"If you want to try your luck with a stranger, go ahead," Severus said. "At least you know I won't kill you in your sleep."

"No, you just want to have sex with me," Potter retorted.

"Suit yourself," Severus said, pushing himself upright and into Potter's personal space. The younger man took a step back warily, watching for any sudden moves. "I have places to be after all."

He climbed into the cab of his lorry and started the engine. It grumbled to life underneath his feet.

"Wait!" Potter said, grabbing Severus's forearm through the window. The flush of color hadn't receded from his cheeks. "I… Right. Okay." He looked down and swallowed. "All right."

"Do you even know what you're agreeing to?" Severus said. The truck rumbled, anxious to go.

Potter looked up. His eyes were hard and his brow was furrowed. The ends of his red mouth were turned downward. "What exactly is the price?"

Severus stared back at him before nodding his head towards the passenger-side door. "Get in and find out."

Potter glared at him before climbing down and walking around the front of the truck. Severus turned the engine off and waited for Potter to climb inside and close the door.

Potter looked a little peaky as he met Severus's gaze. Severus turned his body towards Potter. He felt a very wicked smile form on his face.

Potter squirmed in his seat. "Well?" he demanded. "What's your price?"

"Your mouth, Potter."

Potter blushed and paled at the same time. He bit his lower lip before consciously pressing his mouth closed. His eyes darted to Severus's groin only to look away towards the Extra on the other side of the parking area. "I don't think…" He swallowed thickly. "You're not my type."

Severus sneered at Potter, watching as the younger man weighed his options. "Consider it a trade," he said, leaning on the steering wheel. "That's all it is."

Potter's expression tightened. "You're foul," he said after a bit of time.

"It's either that or petrol money, Potter," Severus said. "And I don't think you can afford the petrol."

Potter's jaw shifted from side to side. Severus stared at the scratches on Potter's cheek. "Just my mouth?" he asked quietly.

"Just your mouth," Severus said, sensing victory. He pocketed his keys and slid out from behind the wheel. Potter pulled away, his eyes wide and unblinking, as Severus half-crouched, half-stood in the gap between the seats. Severus pushed open the door connecting the cab to the cargo area. "And I'm on a tight schedule, so either come on or get out. I do have somewhere I have to be."

Potter stared at Severus, some of the color returning to his face. "Fine," he spat out with a healthy amount of anger. "Let's get this over with."

Severus grinned as he led the way into the cargo area. His grin only grew darker and wider as he heard Potter shuffle in behind him.

The hold was, of course, much larger on the inside than the outside suggested. Most of the space was devoted to Potion-making. What books Severus still owned were strapped to the shelves. The phials and flasks were stowed away in crates filled with packing material. Drying ingredients and unused cauldrons swung from hooks on the ceiling. The living area, consisting mostly of a narrow, unmade bed, was restricted to a curtained-off area in the back.

Severus sat on the bed and watched as Potter looked around. He tucked one leg underneath the other. "I need to be in Aldbrough by five, Potter," he warned.

Potter scowled at him as he came to stand by the bed. His eyes fell to Severus's crotch, only to look away again. He moved his lips, swallowed, and tried again. "How do you want me?" he managed to mutter.

"On your knees would be fine," Severus said, enjoying Potter's red cheeks. He planted both feet on the rug and parted his knees in invitation. "On the floor or on the bed, it doesn't matter to me."

Potter licked his red lips again, hesitant before kneeling between Severus's feet. Severus licked his own lips as Potter undid Severus's trousers and reached inside.

"Done this before, have you?" Severus moaned. Potter looked up, his green eyes dark and his red mouth stretched obscenely, and hummed a response. Severus's eyes rolled back with pleasure.

He slid a hand into Potter's thick hair. Potter pulled away, his face flushed and mouth wet. "Don't," he said, shaking off Severus's hand before lowering his head again.

Severus fell back on his elbows and stared up at the ceiling. Potter's hands clenched Severus's thighs, holding Severus down. Severus let out a groan as he came. Potter pulled away in disgust.

"You could have warned me," Potter muttered as he sat back on his heels. He winced as he wiped his scratched cheek clean.

Severus stared down at Potter, a lazy, unapologetic smile on his face. He nudged Potter's bulge with the top of his foot. Potter groaned and grasped Severus's leg. "Don't," he moaned weakly.

The corner of Severus's mouth curled upward. Potter was trembling from the touch. He bent forward and lifted Potter's head for a kiss, licking Potter's red lips and inside Potter's hot, wet mouth.

Potter whimpered, his hands tightening their grip on Severus's calf, and arched his back. His face tilted back underneath Severus's. His tongue darted and twisted around Severus's tongue. Severus grabbed a fistful of Potter's hair.

This time, Potter didn't pull away.

This is based on a prompt originally posted for Snarry-a-Thon 2012:

Prompt # 149: After the war, Snape hates to stay at one place for very long time, so he decides to open a mobile Potions shop (a.k.a. Potions Truck) so he can travel around just for visiting, collecting rare potion ingredients, and selling potions when he wants to. One day, he meets Harry Potter again...

I felt like procrastinating a bit from writing, so I picked a prompt I kind of liked and wrote something for that. If I continue feeling bored, I might actually get around to writing my original idea for this prompt (which surprisingly did not include blowjobs) or I'll pick another unchosen prompt. Maybe.

Snarry-a-Thon '12 starts May 7th over at the snape_potter group at Livejournal. The prompt list can be found there.

The title, and the direction this story took, comes from George Carlin's cameo in Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back.

The uncut version (which actually isn't that much different from this 'cleaner' version) can be found via the homepage link on my profile page.