Their little secret Chapter 1, a Merlin fanfic - .
Read my new Merlin/ Arthur Fan-fictions. Please take in consideration that I do not own the characters. Feedback is appreciated.

This is my first Merlin vs Arthur fanfic, please take it easy on the critics :)
Reviews are welcome. The inspiration from this story came from reading "Don't You Dare Me" written by SaveYourSympathy.

Characters belong to the TV Series "Merlin". I do not take any credit for them. Of course, I did edit some on the characters to fit better in my fiction.

Merlin gazed angrily at the prince. Always the same insults. Why could he never just say thank you for a change? He started polishing the boots as he noticed Arthur glancing at him gloating over another victory.

"What?" Merlin answered somewhat annoyed.
Arthur laughed.

"What do you mean 'what'? You can't speak to me like that; I'm the prince remember? Anyone else would have had you thrown in the stocks for that attitude."

Merlin just frowned. He supposed he was right, Arthur was indeed somewhat tolerant.
Many 'accidents' had just disappeared and unexplained phenomena had never been mentioned. It made Merlin wonder if Arthur ever suspected anything.

If Arthur ever found out who he really was, would they still have been friends? Were they even to be considered friends at the moment? Maybe he was still just a servant...
But Arthur did risk his life to save him and Merlin did the same for Arthur so you could call it a friendship.

Lately though, Arthur skipped a lot of his duties to be with Gwen and although Merlin was happy for him that he cared for her so deeply, he also felt a little lonely.

The prince was not around to mock him twenty four seven anymore, or making him do annoying chores and laughing at him all the time.

Mostly, he was too busy to even attend to Merlin himself. Merlin usually found a note on the Prince's table what had to be done that day.

Merlin smiled a little, but today wasn't one of those days. He was glad because for a moment Arthur had the time to scold him even a little.

Arthur slapped him on the back of his head, "Stop daydreaming, Merlin. I don't keep you as my servant to drool all day."

"I'm not!" Merlin protested somewhat insulted but just put back on his goofy smile when he noticed Arthur was just bullying him again.

Arthur waved his armored gloves in the air as he walked out of the room.

"Make sure you're done with the stables and the horses before tomorrow; we're going out hunting."

Merlin sighed he hated the hunting trips. The unnecessary killing of animals, the horseback riding, not even to mention the danger of bandits in the forests.

How many times had he saved the prince's ass already by now? He'd lost count, but of course, it was his destiny. However, he would have done it even if it had not been.

The years he had worked for Arthur now had shown him that Arthur was, in truth, a noble prat, but just as well a good friend and a very loyal prince.

Many times had Merlin imagined how Arthur would respond if he were to find out about his 'gift', however, sometimes it felt more like a curse.

Uther would have his head if he ever were to find out...hopefully Arthur would be more understanding.

Later that night, he had finally finished brushing all the horses, cleaning the stables, fixing Arthur's shirts and trousers and putting the armor ready.

As he closed the doors to the stables he felt a hand cover his mouth and was pushed brutally against the wooden door. His arm was twisted behind his back and his face held still.

"Be quiet or I'll snap your neck like a twig," a barbaric voice hissed in his ear.

Merlin tried to fight loose but was forced quiet by a pain shooting through his arm. He considered using his magic but here on the streets it would be too risky. If anyone would see him he would be exposed.

His thoughts were interrupted by a even worse pain shooting through his shoulder when the man pulled his arm back while leaning over his shoulder.
"You're Arthur's boy aren't you?" he laughed and the smell of alcohol coming from his breath was overwhelming, making Merlin feel sick.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Merlin said bravely but only triggered more anger as the drunk guy suddenly slipped his hand under Merlin's shirt, making him gasp for air.

What was he doing? He was a man! He was not supposed to touch him like that. Merlin felt his hand sliding down over the edge of his trousers. Suddenly the panic rose inside of him because of what this stranger was about to do...he felt his stomach turning in disgust.

"Get off of me!" he shouted.

The guy angrily pulled his arm and with one very strong rip, dislocated his shoulder. Merlin cried out in pain as his eyes glowed with anger, throwing the guy off backwards.

The guy flew several meters into the air because of the strong blow Merlin had defended himself with. He then landed on a wooden stick which pierced straight through him.

Merlin's eyes widened in shock as he realized he had just killed the guy. That had never been his intention...but the pain... the anger and the disgust - they just made it happen. He had not been aware his magic had been this powerful even though Gaius always warned him.

Lights went on in several houses around Merlin and people were starting to come out of their houses because of the loud screaming.

"Hey! What's going on there!" some of them shouted.

Merlin quickly fled back into the castle and as he entered the lab, he awoke Gaius who then heard the alarm bells. He looked at Merlin and saw the tears shimmering in his eyes.

"Merlin, what happened?" he asked, worried.

Merlin rushed into his room and slammed the door behind him.

Gaius tried to follow him but Merlin used a spell to block the door. He could not face Gaius or Arthur at this moment. He was a murderer... by then he started to understand why Uther hated magic so much. This curse had ruined his life; how was he ever going to justify killing a person?

The pain from his shoulder was getting worse; he had almost forgotten about it because of the horrible event. He placed his hand on his shoulder and with an even more painful spell he put his shoulder back in place. But that pain was nothing compared to the pain he was feeling when he thought of what had happened.

He had not wanted to kill the guy - just wanted him to stop, but his magic had decided for him.

"This bloody curse!" he cried out as he buried his face in his pillow.

Meanwhile Arthur had gathered the guards and was taking the body down from the piercing stick.
Surely this guy was not going to tell him what had happened anymore but he was set on finding the killer...nobody got away with murder in Camelot not under his watch.

Then he noticed the red neckerchief lying on the floor in front of the stables; he was shocked.
That was Merlin's...but Merlin could never have done this. He would never have been strong enough to throw the body like that. 'Unless...' Arthur though to himself, getting slightly suspicious. 'No surely Merlin just lost it while cleaning the stables, doesn't have to mean he was here during the murder.'

He quickly tucked the neckerchief into his armor before the knights could find it.

"Carry on. Make sure you talk to everybody around here and find the person who did this." He commanded as he went back into the castle.

He studied the neckerchief in his room for blood stains and summoned for Merlin. Surely Merlin could confirm that he wasn't there during the murder. But after two and a half hours waiting, Merlin had still not reported to the prince. So Arthur went to find him.

"Where's that lazy boned servant of mine, Gaius? Don't tell me he isn't feeling well again,"
Gaius looked up, surprised at the entrance of the young prince.

"Sire, Merlin had already left for your quarters two hours ago."

Both of them realized at that moment that something had gone terribly wrong that night.

'What on earth did you get yourself into that you didn't even trust me with it?' Arthur thought to himself worried and slightly disappointed.

"Let him know I'll have him thrown into the stocks if he doesn't report to me soon," Arthur answered firmly.

Gaius simply nodded quietly, he had a suspicion of where Merlin might be hiding. But the real question was, why would he have to hide?

"Sire...if you don't mind me asking. What is going on outside? I heard the bells but nobody has informed me of the distress," Gaius asked a little worried.

Arthur frowned; he hesitated. Should he tell Gaius about the neckerchief? It probably would only make the old man even more worried,

"It's been taken care of Gaius, nothing to worry yourself over."

But Gaius wasn't ready to give up yet; he was sure whatever had happened had caused Merlin to be so upset.

"Please sire, if it is nothing to worry about, there is surely no harm in telling me."

Arthur nodded and sighed.

Stubborn old Gaius never gave up without an answer.

"A man was killed, but he was a scoundrel, a thief. We had been looking for him a while already. However, that doesn't mean we don't have to catch the killer," Arthur frowned at the idea that Merlin would be involved.

Gaius nodded once more.

"I see, I'll keep an eye out, Sire. For Merlin as well of course. I'm sure there is an explanation for his sudden behavior."

"Let's hope so," Arthur agreed. Then he left the lab.

Merlin was crawling through the tunnels beneath the castle, where he had once hid Freya. This was the only place he knew where no one would be looking for him. He would just lay low for a couple of hours; maybe a day, then things should have blown over...

But the image of the pierced body, the still open eyes, gazing at him haunted his mind. It still terrified him and was haunting him all night already.

Merlin slowly wiped away the tears on his sleeve. If Arthur found out, he would be so disappointed...Not only had he been touched inappropriately by a man, a total stranger, now he even killed a person.

Like having magic wasn't enough of a burden to carry. Now he had to deal with this guilt as well.
Merlin rubbed over his arms; the dungeons were rather chilly but the shivers through his body were not from the cold, they were from the disgust he was still feeling. Why did this guy go after him in the first place? Why was he asking about Arthur? And why was he touching him in that inappropriate way?

He tried to console himself with the thought that killing him wasn't such a bad thing if the man had planned to do evil to Arthur. But he knew the truth. His magic had activated itself, something that had never happened before. How could he keep Arthur safe if he couldn't even control his own magic?

Gaius grabbed a torch and went on his way through the tunnels. He knew this had to be where Merlin was hiding. He wasn't aware though that Arthur was secretly following him...

Merlin jumped up frightened.

"Stay away!" he warned, as he saw the light coming closer.

"It's just me Merlin..." Gaius calmed him "What on earth happened, why are you hiding here?"

He then noticed Merlin was seriously shaken up; he had red rings under his eyes from crying and looked like he had not slept at all. He sat down next to him and gently placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Whatever happened Merlin, I'm sure it wasn't your fault," he said in a comforting tone.

Merlin looked up at him, his crystal blue eyes still shimmering from the tears in the light of the torch.

"I killed him, Gaius..." he whispered, "I never meant for it, it went so fast before I realized it he was flying through the air. I just wanted him to stop..." He spoke softly, shivering.

"Stop what, Merlin? Was he attacking you?" Gaius asked, worried. He realized by now that Merlin was hiding from the consequences of his actions. This was more serious than he had first believed; if it came out Merlin had killed the scoundrel, he would have to explain how...

Merlin looked down ashamed, and stayed silent for a moment.

"He was..."

He hesitated. Merlin pulled up his knees trying to make himself as small as possible

"He was going to abuse me," he mumbled, without looking up.

Gaius looked up amazed; now he could imagine how Merlin felt. Surely this had to have been twice as devastating.

The love for another man was forbidden; even had the penalty of death in Camelot. Uther accused magic to be the cause of this 'abnormality'.

Merlin had never been confronted with abuse before. He had fought bandits, slaughtered wild beasts but it all had seemed so harmless to how he was feeling right now.

Gaius sighed. "I'm sorry Merlin, you must have been horrified."

Merlin nodded.

"Arthur can't find out!" he suddenly pleaded, "He'll hate me when he finds out!"

Gaius just watched him quietly, then frowned.

"Arthur already came by twice. He is looking for you Merlin. I'm afraid he already found out you were somehow involved; you need to be careful."

Merlin buried his face into his knees. This had all gotten so much worse, surely Arthur would be disgusted if he found out.

Arthur had heard everything.

He slowly backed out of the tunnels. He was indeed disgusted, but not by Merlin.

'This pig...doing something like that, and of all people to Merlin!' He angrily thought to himself and realized he did not give a damn anymore that Merlin had killed this guy.

But what he heard had raised several new questions and suspicion.

Flying through the air? How was he supposed to understand that?

He wondered. He sat in his room thinking all night about what to tell his father. If he told him Merlin was involved, Uther would surely suspect Merlin of sorcery; there was no way the fragile, skinny built Merlin could have overpowered the big brute by force.

Suddenly, even more anger came over Arthur - why would Merlin have to be charged for defending himself with all means necessary against a pig like that? How could he even have dared to go after the harmless servant? Merlin was never able to defend himself - he would not have stood a chance against a groping pig like this man.

Arthur quickly regained his calm. What was going on? Why was he getting this angry... and also, why was he so disappointed that Merlin had not confided in him? He felt a stinging pain in his chest; he took a deep breath and sighed.

Arthur decided to give Merlin some time, after all he had a lot to deal with. Hopefully, Merlin would come to him with the truth after he had regained his calm. That had to have been the reason - Merlin just didn't confide in him because he wasn't ready yet. Of course, he would come out and tell him what had happened. After all, they were friends.

It took Merlin two days before he trusted himself to face the prince again. Arthur had come to Gaius several times asking for Merlin but Gaius kept saying he was still ill.

Merlin knocked and walked into the room, placing the breakfast on the table without a word and started cleaning up the room.

Arthur woke up and just looked at him for a moment.

"Merlin..." he stated more seriously, getting out of bed. He looked at the breakfast on the table and watched Merlin grabbing all the dirty clothes and making the bed. He laughed a bit to himself - he'd never seen Merlin work this hard.

Merlin did not look up at him though he tried to work as fast as he could, as soon as he finished he would be able to leave the room.

He rushed towards the door after he finished.

"There, all done! I'll get these cleaned right away," he said, but before he could leave the room Arthur placed a hand on the door, stopping him from leaving.

"We need to talk," Arthur said, sounding very serious.

Merlin realized he must know something. It was foolish of him to believe he could just stay away for several days without having to explain himself.

"Where have you been the past couple of days?" Arthur asked as he kept an eye on Merlin.

"I wasn't feeling well," Merlin answered, avoiding eye contact.

Arthur sighed.

"Don't lie to me, Merlin; you know better than that, you couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it," he answered, mockingly.

Merlin muttered, "Better than you'd know."

Arthur raised his eyebrow but would still not let Merlin leave.

"What was that?" he asked in his usual, arrogant, taunting way.

"I said, you're right," Merlin answered. "Now if you'd please remove yourself from the door, I have work to do" he pleaded.

Suddenly, Arthur grabbed Merlin's arm, pulling him in front of him against the door. He'd lost his patience; Merlin was not just his servant he had to know that. Why wouldn't he tell him what had happened?

Merlin dropped the laundry and for a moment, he panicked. His arm was still very painful and the pain from Arthur's grabbing released the suppressed fear.

His eyes flashed with a golden color for merely a second. Quickly, Merlin closed his eyes and turned away, frightened that the prince had seen it.

Arthur just watched him silently.

For several minutes, he stood only an inch away from Merlin's face, noticing several bruises from the struggle. It pained him to see how terribly Merlin must have been suffering. Yet, there was nothing he could do about it. How could he ever be expected to be a proper king if he could not even keep the person he cared most about, safe?

Slowly, Arthur let go.

"You should have told me." He said, disappointed. The confusion slowly setting in, his eyes had flashed for sure... now what was he supposed to do? He couldn't tell his father, he would have Merlin killed. But if he kept it to himself wasn't that conspiracy against the king? He looked at Merlin seeing the frightened look on his face.

For two years he probably had been using magic right under his nose. If they really had been friends, then Merlin should have trusted him, he thought angrily to himself.

Merlin could feel the moist breath on his face as he stood there, clenching his eyes, praying that Arthur did not see. Finally, Merlin turned to him he wasn't sure what to say...tell him what? That he was a sorcerer? One of the most powerful ones on the world, destined to watch over him?

"I wanted to..." he whispered. The fear was showing all over his face. Would Arthur understand that he could not have told him? Even though he had wanted to tell so many times, it would have put Arthur in a position of treachery. He could not allow that.

"I would have had the man killed for touching you," Arthur added, as he regained his distance from Merlin. He felt how his heart pounded in his throat. Was it because of the anger he felt? Arthur felt somewhat confused, he had been close to Merlin before, so why did it suddenly feel so different now? Maybe it was because of the realization that Merlin had chosen to be his servant; that he had put himself in severe danger by staying here in Camelot. Why would someone risk so much for someone else? Why would Merlin risk that much for him?

Merlin looked up, surprised. This wasn't about the magic? He felt somewhat relieved but also disappointed.

"You..., you knew?" Merlin stammered.

Arthur nodded and sat down on his chair in front of his breakfast, trying to regain his usual calm.

"It's disgusting, I don't get how any man could be attracted to you in the first place" Arthur mocked in a joking way, trying to convince himself that he had not just been attracted to Merlin as well. But as soon as he had said it, he saw on Merlin's face that he had hurt him.

'Oh...that was insensitive' Arthur thought to himself and regretted it immediately.

"You know I didn't mean it like that Merlin..." he stammered

"It's fine," Merlin cut him off, "I don't understand it either." Merlin just nodded, ignoring the remark as best as he could.

"Merlin, I..." Arthur tried to apologize but Merlin already left the room. He didn't want to wait for the explanation. Of course Arthur would be disgusted with him - he was groped by a man! He already expected this to happen, so then why did his remark hurt so much? Surely, he had not expected the noble prat to care for his feelings.

He quickly rushed back to the lab where Gaius already had new chores for him to complete. But as soon as Gaius saw the look on Merlin's face, he decided not to ask. Instead, he put down two plates of breakfast, "Let's eat, Merlin."

Merlin nodded, he was grateful that Gaius did not ask and was giving him the space to process this by himself. After all, there was nothing anyone could do for him anyway.

Somehow, the search for the murderer had already disappeared.

'Surely Arthur must have done that - it would be quite a scandal if anyone were to find out his personal servant was groped by a man.' Merlin thought to himself and started to eat.

That afternoon Arthur spoke to Gwen about how stupid he felt for saying such a harsh thing.
"I've never actually seen Merlin that hurt."

Gwen watched Arthur and noticed the sincere regret. She also noticed a difference in Arthur's way of speaking about Merlin. There was no taunting this time, no snobbish tone.

Gwen nodded.

"Maybe because he was expecting you to react differently. I've actually never seen Merlin show any interest in anyone else but you Arthur. Your opinion must mean a lot to him"

Arthur looked up surprised what was she referring to? That Merlin had feelings for him?

"What do you mean by that?"

Gwen quickly realized she had probably given the wrong impression, she laughed somewhat nervously, "No, no not like that... I mean, because he's such a loyal servant he would probably do anything for you."

There was an awkward silence between them.

"Well, not anything... I mean.." She tried to save the conversation but noticed everything came out wrong. She quickly stayed quiet.

Arthur thought about her words, he never considered that a possibility. But somehow the thought even made him feel happy for a moment. He just could not explain the feeling.

He quickly shooed the thoughts out of his head though. What was he thinking? He was a prince, Merlin his servant. How could he even think of Merlin that way?

After the way Merlin was feeling because he had been touched by a man...Of course he did not think of him that way.

He then thought for a moment about the flashing golden eyes, it had been so beautiful. 'When did I start considering Merlin beautiful?' Arthur thought, rather confused. He realized the anger he had felt before was also because he had not been able to protect Merlin, not because Merlin had not told him.

But this time he would. Not even Uther was allowed to harm Merlin. As he thought about it he wondered when he started caring more about his servant than about his father's rules.

While he was thinking everything over that night, he felt even more angry that Merlin had nearly been molested. But he also felt the disappointment that Merlin had not trusted him to share this burden with him. Why was it Merlin always seemed so lonely anyway? Why did he never have a girlfriend or any friends for that matter. Because of his magic? 'Maybe it is because he spends all his time with me...' Arthur wondered.

The next morning he asked Merlin to saddle up the horses, Arthur was taking a few of the knights for a ride.

"I'd like you to come with me Merlin," he asked.

"Of course" Merlin answered. He wondered why Arthur was suddenly asking him along. Wasn't he always coming along? Merlin wasn't even aware he ever had the option to stay behind.

He left quickly to ready the horses before Arthur could bring up the incident from the day before.
He packed some extra food and water to make sure that before the afternoon everything was set.

As they rode off into the forest Arthur steered his horse next to Merlin's.

"So...what's your type anyway?" He suddenly asked out of nowhere trying to make conversation.

The knights looked up surprised and laughed a bit as they continued forward, pretending to ignore but listening to the conversation. Lancelot was especially surprised in the interest Arthur was showing in Merlin all of a sudden.

Merlin lifted his shoulders.

"Why?" he asked, suspicious.

Arthur laughed, "Can't I have a normal conversation with you? You always seem like you have something to hide."

Merlin sighed a bit nervous, "My love life is really none of your business, sire ".

Arthur looked at the annoyed face of his servant and laughed,"Come on, Merlin, we're all men here. Surely you've had an interest in someone in your life? Perhaps you have even kissed a girl?"

"I haven't," Merlin lied without hesitation. First he gets groped by a guy... now Arthur is hearing him out about his love life? What was the meaning of all this?

"So you're a virgin then?" Arthur added laughing mockingly.

Merlin frowned; he was getting on his nerves.

"Yes, and I'm glad I still am," he snapped a little more aggressively, while facing Arthur shortly.

Arthur quickly took the hint; even though he had not meant for it, he noticed he once again struck a sensitive nerve with his friend. But it bothered him. For two years, Merlin had been his servant, yet he seemed to know so very little about him. And although he considered them friends, Merlin never opened up to him... he wondered again if this was because of his magic? Maybe he should just tell Merlin that he knew, or perhaps Gwen was right and Merlin was hiding something even bigger.

They rode in silence for a few more minutes. Arthur soon realized even if Gwen were right, Merlin would not admit or tell him anything in front of the knights. He had to get Merlin alone but how?

He then stood still, "Let's put up camp here" he ordered as he tied his horse to one of the branches.

Merlin got off the horse as well tying his horse next to Arthur's and started to set up the tents. Then he went for firewood and water for the horses.

Meanwhile Arthur had made his way to the river wanting to clean himself up a little, the horse riding was tiring and it had been a long and warm day. He pulled off his shirt and boots and strolled into the water, as Merlin arrived at the same time to gather water for the horses.

Merlin stood still somewhat flustered as he watched Arthur with only pants on, curled up to his knees in the water. His blond hair was reflecting the sunlight, his pale skin was spotless just like it was to be expected from a prince.

Arthur turned around and noticed Merlin standing there with a bucket.

"I don't really need that," he added, looking a little amazed about the red flustered Merlin.

"What's with you? Never seen a guy without a shirt? You're a peasant surely you must see people naked all the time," he added more mockingly.

But the way Merlin responded confirmed his suspicion, Gwen seemed to be right...Merlin really was attracted to him, otherwise, why would he turn red?

Arthur was rather puzzled, he looked down at his reflection. Why on earth would he be blushing now? He was just shirtless, and Merlin had seen him shirtless so many times before. After all, he was the one bringing him his clothes.

Merlin quickly turned around and put water in the bucket. He was rather confused as well, he had seen Arthur without a shirt so often. So why did it feel so different all of a sudden?

It must be the fault of that scoundrel, if he had never touched him he would not be thinking about Arthur this way now... or would he? Before Arthur could ask any more questions, Merlin returned to the horses.

A few hours later, Arthur was sitting at the fire drinking together with Sir Leon and Sir Lancelot.

"Really Merlin, come sit down and relax already." he complained.

Merlin was still getting the tents ready, making sure everything was tied up properly; he was successfully avoiding the prince and his knights to avoid further questions about his love life or about his reaction that afternoon.

Arthur had a little too much to drink and when Merlin walked past, ignoring the prince once again he suddenly grabbed him making him trip and land on top of him.

Merlin froze up; their faces were only inches from each other...he felt awkward. The warmth of Arthur's breath stirred his mind as his cheeks turned reddish.

Arthur just laughed.

"Don't get too comfortable, you're not exactly my type," he added jokingly as he watched Merlin crawl back up, all flustered again.

Merlin felt somewhat angry.

"Like I'd be interested in a prat like you," he snapped back at Arthur. But as he saw the insulted look on Arthur's face, he realized that was rather out of place.

Arthur looked at him somewhat amazed at the brave attitude his servant was suddenly showing.
So as Merlin decided to walk away, he stopped him.

"Merlin! Where do you think you're going?"

"Doing my job, sire, like I'm supposed to do," he answered, avoiding the issue and trying to get away from Arthur.

Arthur realized Merlin was avoiding him. He wasn't acting like he normally was. Something was different between them, somehow awkward.

Leon and Lancelot noticed the tension between the two men; they weren't sure what to make of it. Leon felt rather awkward himself and wasn't sure how to react to all this. Arthur couldn't possibly be interested in Merlin for real could he? He knew the rules of his father, he would bring shame on himself and on Camelot.

"I think I'll call it a night," Lancelot said interrupting Leon's thoughts. Leon nodded;

"Quite right," Both of them headed for the tent, pretending to leave the two alone.

"What d'ya think all this is about?" Leon asked, somewhat worried.

Lancelot just shook his head, "I'm not sure, I've never seen Merlin this nervous around Arthur"

Leon frowned "perhaps I should ask Arthur about it". Lancelot shook his head "no let's wait, if you interrupt them now we might never find out the truth"

Finally Leon sighed and agreed, Lancelot was probably right if he would intervene now Arthur would surely not tell him the truth about what was going on. Or how long it had already been going on, who knew what had developed between them...

Merlin wanted to walk away as well when Arthur grabbed his arm. "I didn't say you could go."

He paused for a short moment, noticing that even now, Merlin was avoiding eye contact.

"If you want to act like a servant that's fine. But then I'll have to treat you like one and rather then ask, just order you to kiss me..." The alcohol clouded his mind and made his curiosity grow even more. Was Gwen right? Was Merlin feeling more for him then he should?

Merlin froze solid to the ground, his heart pounding in his throat. Had he lost his mind completely now?

"You had too much to drink. Perhaps you should go to sleep as well. I'll stay awake and keep watch," Merlin answered, trying to ignore the strange order Arthur was giving him.

"I gave you a direct order, Merlin. Are you really going to ignore that?" Arthur repeated again, much more strictly. He finally managed to get him alone and now he was going to find out, one way or another.

Merlin slowly faced Arthur. He was trembling. Not even his magic could save him from this. What was he supposed to do?

Why would Arthur want to kiss him? Was this some sort of test? Or maybe one of his terrible jokes?

Arthur stepped closer, pushing Merlin with his back against the tree behind him.

"Think of it as education" Arthur added, a little mockingly.

Merlin looked around, panicky, suddenly he noticed Sir Leon and Lancelot watching with widened eyes from the tent.

What was the Prince thinking? Taunting him like this, treating him like some sort of prey.

Leon's eyes widened with disgust as he saw what Arthur was about to do.

'He couldn't seriously...' he thought to himself. He was about to stand up and stop Arthur when Lancelot grabbed his arm.

"Don't," Lancelot said seriously as he watched Leon's expression. He was quite surprised himself as well but something made him wonder how far Merlin would let Arthur go. After all, Arthur was no match for Merlin, since Lancelot knew about Merlin's magic, he knew this.

"We have to stop him! This is forbidden!" Leon hissed angrily and pulled himself loose.

"You'll only make Arthur angry! He's drunk - he won't listen to reason! Do you really want to get yourself on his bad side?" Lancelot answered back.

Leon hesitated; even if he was a knight, against the word of Arthur he would definitely lose. If he would make himself an enemy of the Prince, he would have an even bigger problem. He sat down somewhat aggravated, for now he could better wait.

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Merlin clenched his fists, he felt confused. Was Arthur just toying with him?

"Arthur... don't-" Merlin whispered angrily, before he was cut off.

He felt Arthur's lips pressing on his, his tongue gently teasing over his lower lip. Merlin struggled, a little hesitant, something about it even felt right. But his mind kept telling him this was all wrong.
Arthur was drunk and not aware of what he was doing.

As he tried to speak, telling Arthur to get a grip, Merlin was surprised by the sudden passion.

Arthur held him firm between himself and the tree. The alcohol and the sudden desire he felt mixed, somehow they even made him want more. He slipped his hand under Merlin's shirt, sliding with his fingertips over the delicate skin, pressing his knee between Merlin's legs, tangling their bodies together as he kissed him even more passionately, gently biting on his lower lip and entering his mouth.

Merlin felt his heart sink, pounding like it was ten times as heavy as usual. The taste was sweet, much sweeter than he had expected. Arthur's lips were soft and gentle and the way his fingers stroke over his skin gave him goosebumps. He felt his knees getting weak and lent against the tree.

The confusion started playing turmoil in his mind. This was the same as before, touched by a man, yet it felt so different... He still felt somewhat ashamed about it, but this was Arthur...Merlin was just following orders, right? If that was wrong then how could it feel so right?

Finally, he managed to push a small distance between him and Arthur. "Arthur... stop it already..." he let out a flustered gasp for air, wondering if Arthur was even aware of Leon and Lancelot.

"Why?" Arthur asked more seriously, suddenly not seeming so drunk anymore, "Because you're not interested in a prat like me?"

Merlin was stunned at the way he said it; it seemed like he had stepped on the proud prince's feelings. Was Arthur serious? Did he even have any idea in what kind of trouble he could get both of them in?

"Because we are both male... and this is wrong" Merlin answered, trying to be as subtle as possible.

"That doesn't answer my question," Arthur repeated.

"Stop it, please," Merlin begged. Even if he was feeling something for Arthur, he couldn't tell him, Arthur's mind was just clouded by the alcohol. 'None of this is real' he thought, somehow disappointed.

Arthur lent over him, his warm breath slid over Merlin's neck. His hands sliding back under his shirt. He could feel him trembling. He felt somewhat torn between the feeling of excitement and remorse as he sensed Merlin's fear.

He wondered, did Merlin really not want him to do this? Then why wasn't he using his magic to stop him? He had stopped the other man, even killed him... He stopped for a moment and looked at the fearful look at Merlin's face.

"Do you really despise me that much?" He suddenly asked, sounding somewhat disappointed.

Merlin opened his eyes and looked at Arthur.

"Of course not, why would you think that?" He asked, confused. He would expect Arthur to think exactly the opposite. After all, he didn't fight Arthur. His magic had not activated either, was he really attracted to Arthur?

Arthur moved away from him and sat down next to him. He wondered about what he had just done...how could something so wrong feel so right? He sighed and dropped himself down on the grass..."You remember what I said...when you nearly got molested"

Merlin looked down ashamed.

"Yes," he answered shortly but very confused, nearly getting molested was a good one... Arthur had said no man could ever be attracted to him, but yet here he was, going even a step further.

"I lied. I think I was jealous" Arthur added as he stared at the stars.

Merlin looked at him amazed, "Jealous?"

Arthur nodded, then turned towards him "I can't explain it, but the thought of you being touched by someone else drove me crazy. If I think about you belonging to someone else someday..."

Merlin managed to smile again, "I don't belong to anyone but myself".

"Yes you do. You belong to me. You're my manservant and if anyone ever does anything to harm you, I want you to come straight to me," Arthur looked at Merlin more seriously than he had ever been before. Merlin could see he meant every word of it.

Merlin laughed a little shyly, "Sure." He answered and suddenly felt somewhat calmer. Even though it was still disturbing that Arthur considered him his, and even kissed him like that, he also felt very safe for the first time. He rolled over and leant on Arthur's chest.

Arthur looked rather surprised at first, but then smiled and placed his arm around Merlin.

Even if he was a sorcerer, which he was sure of considering all the unexplained things and the gold glowing eyes, at least he was 'his' sorcerer. And not even his father had to know about it, not about the sorcerer part or about how he felt about Merlin, it would be their little secret.

Updates:
*Changed several dialogues; Merlin/Arthur Gwen/Arthur Lancelot/Merlin Leon/Arthur
** Grammar fixes by my beta reader Stella :) Thank you hunnie.

*** Increased the intimacy/desire between Arthur and Merlin