Disclaimer: Star Trek is not mine nor do I claim to own it. This is purely a work of fiction.

AN: So…Here is the prologue or initial launch of the Sequel to Even the Stars. I'm apologizing in advanced, b/c after posting this it probably will be some time still before I get Chapter One typed out. It's all still in the planning stage but this was already what my head had come up with before the end of Even the Stars. So, yah...a little snippet for what is to come. This is really barely even scratching the surface in all that I have in store for this story.

I'm also in the process of a more upbeat or...just a nicer, non-darkfic, story which will probably be up on this site before Chapter One is completed for this story. Anyway, excited for these two...my brain is going crazy with all the possibilities in store. Hope you all like this small glimpse into the sequel and I'll try and get to the rest as soon as possible. ^ ^

AN: Other then that I hope you enjoy : D

The One I've Loved

-Prologue-

The Enterprise was shipping out.

Shore leave had finally come to an end and even though it had been relaxing everyone was excited to get back on board…get back home and explore space once again.

They had one more year left of their five year mission and now with the war over it was important to get right on track once more. Now that they had Jim back it was all the crew wanted to do. Jim who had led them through so much, and who had become an important aspect in their lives was finally with them again. So, to say the crew was excited to have the warm inviting captain back at the helm was an understatement.

Yes, Spock had risen up after Jim's capture and had truly made an effort to be the Captain that the crew needed when again and again Jim could not be found. However, there was no replacing James T. Kirk, and even Spock agreed that he had no desire to Captain a ship let alone the Enterprise.

Spock had always enjoyed serving alongside the Captain and his Jim; and could picture himself nowhere else.

It was strange, knowing that everything would just be normal once again, because it had taken two of the five years to get Jim back. It felt like he had never been gone and yet his absence had changed everything. The crew was perhaps stronger now than they had been before, as was the rest of the Federation.

Yet, because of Jim's capture newer regulations and stricter codes were becoming enforced. Captains were no longer given as many liberties and their orders were with the strictest command.

Things had changed when Jim had left and were continuing to change now that he was back. Some good and some bad, but the Enterprise crew new that as soon as they were back on board the ship—back with Jim—things wouldn't feel bad.

Changed or not, Jim would still make them feel at home.

The problem was that Jim had only seen them all once over shore leave and beside Spock and McCoy no one had heard much from him at all.

They could all understand this. Jim had been through a very traumatic turn of events and was taking time to cope and relearn to be a part of something again. He had spent two years trapped with only slight outside contact and that had been through the kids or out of his own forced time back on the Enterprise.

Jim was coping and the crew just wished he would do so with their help. They had every faith in Spock to keep Jim sane and bring him back. As they had every faith in McCoy to keep him well and not let him succumb to depression. They just hadn't heard anything for so long.

No press releases about the golden boy returning to Captain the Enterprise.

No letters or messages from the Admirals about Jim's new instatement. In fact there had been no word or whisper about the Enterprise's Captain at all. If there was anything Star fleet was keeping tighter lipped than this the crew had never known.

They just assumed Jim would be back as Captain.

This assumption came after they had met with him close to the end of shore leave…just a month before they would all return to the bridge. They had all seen him smile and laugh and act just like he had prior to the war. They had all seen their Captain again; albeit, he was slightly more shielded than before but it was him all the same.

So, when they all boarded the Enterprise and found the Captain's chair vacant it left a nagging feeling in the pit of their stomachs.

They all tried to focus on the tasks that needed to be accomplished before they had to ship out. It was easy to write it off with a quick and simple thought;

He's probably with Spock, keeping the Vulcan

to the last minute to prove a point, or something.

The thought was nice until Spock walked onto the bridge and stilled. It was a strange sight to behold as a number of emotions danced secretly within those dark brown eyes. He's eyes had immediately drawn towards the captain's chair upon his entrance, and without even a word to anyone he pivoted on his heels and turned right off the bridge and back into the lift.

That was alright, that didn't mean anything. All it meant was that Jim was not with Spock, then. That could also be written off easily;

He's probably with McCoy getting a final check over.

However, this thought stilled as almost immediately Spock returned; being led back onto the bridge by none other than Doctor McCoy himself. Jim, however, was not beside the pair.

Spock parted from the Doctor without a word moving almost stiffly to his station where he went about proper start up procedures. McCoy just moved to the nearest out of the way spot and stood in wait for whatever was to come.

They both were as quieter than they had ever been before (an impressive feat for Spock), and it was putting a strain on the crew who were trying to listen in for any hint as to what was going on. With a more thought out reasoning it was capable to write this off as well;

Well Spock isn't going to be the captain seeing as

he is remaining in his spot as first officer.

That must mean that Jim is still going to be arriving as Captain.

He probably is being held late by the Admirals,

Being given

a final warning.

All of these thoughts were reasonable given past experiences with Jim on the Enterprise.

All thoughts were hopeful, seeing as again and again something altered the thought processes and required a new deductive reasoning as to why Jim hadn't shown up yet.

All thoughts were proven wrong.

When the moment came to ship out of dock, they were not surprised to find the Captain stepping in at the last moment. They were surprised as to who it was that stepped in.

"Pike?"

The whole bridge was in an uproar at the site. Yes, it had been three years now and seeing the Admiral up and about was not that shocking. However, Pike was an Admiral now…one of which the Enterprise consulted most in, seeing as they had a bond with Pike in particular.

Seeing the man not only walk onto the bridge (still in his Admiral uniform) and take up the Captain's chair left them all confused and unsure; all except for two individuals. One of which was standing against the furthest wall just watching the scene play out, and the other sitting tensely at his station not even shifting to look at Pike's arrival.

"Settle down now."

Pike spoke clearly and with such a sound of authority that the crew could do nothing else but go quiet.

If they had hoped that he would delve into the reasoning behind his presence instead of Jim's than they were sorely mistaken. Pike seemed as if unaware of the overly large; crammed in tight, purple elephant in the small space of the bridge. He just went about procedure just as he had three years ago for the Enterprise's first shipping.

"Take her out Mr. Sulu."

…

…

Why did it feel like a betrayal as the crew all turned to complete their tasks?

…

Why did it feel like a depression was settling heavy over all those present on the bridge?

…

Why did it feel so wrong to be leaving Earth once again and to be back on board the Enterprise?

…

Why did it feel like they weren't home?

…

…

Jim had abandoned the Enterprise and her crew and neither Spock nor McCoy nor Pike were willing to break the silence and share with them.

Jim wasn't here and for the first time ever, the ship felt changed and cold and empty.

Where was Jim? What was going on? Why were their commanding officers just okay with this?

The shift in and of itself was by far the worst shift any of the alpha crew had suffered through.

It was tense from the forced silence and unanswered questions, but also because of the obvious problem; Jim was absent. No one was willingly speaking to anyone else for fear of breaking the silence or speaking out of turn.

It didn't make sense why their commanding officers weren't sharing information with them and it left the whole bridge on its side and disoriented…not a single one of them was working at 100%. They knew it and so did Pike and yet no one seemed to care?

The minutes stretched by like hours and by the time shift ended they felt like days had gone by. Tired and worn out the entire alpha crew practically dragged themselves off the bridge. Not wanting to leave things as they were, but not wanting to stay any longer in that overbearing space.

There was only one shift that they could think of which had ever left them feeling as tense as the shift they had just survived through. It was one back at the very beginning of their five year mission and had been a normal day until the crew realized that Jim and Spock were fighting or had argued before shift.

Supposedly it had started as a mundane comment made by Jim; about him beaming down alongside the rest of the landing party. He calmly wrote it off as a desire to check out the planet and stretch his legs. Yet, Spock had quoted regulation immediately to the first-time Captain and Jim, who really didn't like being told no, rebuffed him with ease.

It was a small comment that carried on after shift, but when the next shift came up the pair would not even glance at each other. It was hard to go through a shift without speaking to one another, and they found that even if they tried they would be forced to address the other. They managed to do so but always in terse and clipped fragments.

It left every other individual on the bridge tense and unsure what to do.

Not surprisingly, Jim had eventually grown fed up with the tension and blew up—in a manner of speaking. It was a short spat of Jim shouting and Spock remaining almost mockingly calm. After all the tension and awkwardness they managed to settle it on Spock beaming down with Jim, and the matter was over.

Well it was over besides the unease for the rest of those who had been privy to the entire spectacle. Yet, Jim seemed capable of tying that over with more ease than he had tying over the situation with Spock.

All it took was Jim throwing Sulu and Chekov an exasperated look, and just like that the bridge had become more at ease. One look and Jim had settled everyone else's tension.

This time they weren't so lucky; mostly because the tension on the bridge had stemmed, not from an argument, but a lack thereof. No one was even trying to clear up the situation. Whereas, Spock was known to question and voice his views, he was deathly silent all shift. Whereas McCoy would remain to pester and argue, he had been quick to retreat and fall out. Whereas Pike was warm and not against breaking the tension and alleviating problems, he was stern and stricter than they had ever seen him.

No one enjoyed their first shift back on board the Enterprise.

What they found was that Jim had not truly abandoned them, for he had been on board the entire shift. It was an odd surprise walking into the mess hall to see their captain in teaching greys. He was sitting atop a table and surrounded by a large group of new and old crew members; all of which were sporting gold shirts. Everyone but their Jim was wearing the right colors.

Their captain (ex-captain?) was talking animatedly about something and gesturing wildly with his arms as he spoke to the crew. It was strangely reminding them all of story-time back in preschool, and yet none of the crew members could tear their eyes away.

Jim was an entrancing site to behold and where the bridge had felt closed off and cold, the mess had never felt so open and inviting.

Laughter and smiles, and bright blue shinning eyes.

Everyone was struck by his presence. Here was what the bridge had been missing. Here was what the crew had been longing for, and immediately the tension was gone. Immediately the ship felt like home once more, and all the guilt and worry disappeared as if it had never existed.

But it had.

It took movement to break everyone out of their daze. Whereas all the others in the mess were transfixed and enamored; only one individual seemed able to move with normalcy.

Spock walked through the crowd as if they were nothing more than a maze placed to prolong his arrival to his desired destination. It was a strange and yet completely normal site; Spock being pulled along towards Jim. Spock being drawn to the other, as if by an unparalleled force.

Jim's voice carried loud throughout the mess and fell with a resounding silence as his eyes were drawn to the other by the same force. Instantly it was as though no one else existed, and nothing else mattered.

Blue met auburn and the world fell away.

Jim's laugh and bright smile had never felt forced or fake until just now. The warmth that Jim emitted shifted almost on cue and a smile, almost so sincere and gentle it couldn't be measured, broke out upon his features. This was what an open and honest Jim looked like...it was more stunning and dazzling than it had been just moments prior.

When the crew had come in and been so transfixed that they had stilled on sight; it seemed almost foolish in comparison. They had never witnessed such an open flux of emotions till this moment.

Love.

Pure and unadulterated, and reserved completely and solely for Spock.

It was an odd sight, seeing Jim who had always worn his expressions on his sleeve be with the Vulcan and yet, Jim was revealing himself now more than any had ever seen before. The only comparison they could find for a similar moment was when Jim had been the small three year-old and had openly gazed at them all with untainted emotions.

Here was Jim. Changed from the Romulan War and returning to them not closed off, but more willing to be himself than ever before. Here was a truer version of their Captain all because of Spock.

Jim's hand reached out for the other as he neared, but Spock's own arms folded with a strict tension in the proper Vulcan placement behind his back.

The warmth was gone.

Like a light switched off, Jim's hand fell as did the smile, and brought with it the tension.

"I would like to speak with you, Commander." Spock's voice was harsh and cutting and Jim could only barely muster his plastered on grin.

"There's nothing I have to say." Jim replied with a tone to match Spock's, but shifted all the same to stand.

It was like ice breaking. He moved and immediately all those surrounding him stood and drew away.

"Spock, you fool, don't go making a scene! Didn't I tell you we'd discuss this all later."

The man had impeccable timing. The doctor marched into the mess just as Spock arrived alongside Jim.

"Bones." Jim breathed out a sigh of relief and the Vulcan's gaze flashed almost jealously towards the doctor before returning to Jim.

Perhaps…this was a moment that had not been meant for others to be present for.

"I have been residing with you for the past three months, and just now am informed not by yourself but through blatant observation and actions. Were you ever planning on informing me that you had no desire to be captain again?" Spock's eyes were cold and calculating and any warmth seemed to be quickly closing off as the heaviness set in.

An entire shift up on the bridge was spent with placing up walls.

An entire shift was met with confusion and denial to have been so easily lied to and dissuaded.

"I didn't tell you because I don't know, Spock." Jim stepped toward the other and winced as immediately Spock took a step away. "D-don't. Please…don't pull away." Jim's words were a barely there whisper and suddenly a new range of emotions became portrayed to all of those who were close enough and observant enough to catch them.

Despair, loss, guilt, unease, and fear all flittered through dimming blue eyes.

-Don't leave me.-

Jim's legs shook with an effort to keep standing and before they were even given a chance to give out; Spock was there instantly beside him. The Vulcan caught Jim before he could collapse but the weight and pull left the pair sliding down to the mess floor.

Jim was immediately pulled close, without concern for onlookers or for any who bear witness to such a site, and without concern for the earlier matters.

The situation had changed, and Spock altered his own mindset when pain, that was not his own, overwhelmed him.

"Out!" The words were hardly registered to the pair, but McCoy seemed set on keeping this moment personal instead of as public as it was turning out to be. He wanted to get everyone, who was just standing by to watch, out of the mess hall and away from a moment much too private to share…a moment that left many in awe as much as in fear. What had just happened to their vibrant and whole Jim? Where did their golden hero go and why was he replaced with this image?

No one could erase the scene now that it was seen, but McCoy would not stand by and let it further tarnish the views others held for Jim; for their supposed captain.

The rest of the alpha crew seemed to catch on, and it was with a quick demand that they coerced the onlookers out of the mess. Protests and accusations fell as Giotto stepped in to the aide of the alpha crew and suddenly the mess was left in quietness.

McCoy tried to usher the alpha crew to move into the hall along with the others but they all sent him a stubborn look. They had been left out long enough. They also already knew of Jim and his relationship with Spock. They were the least likely to judge and it was time for questions to be answered.

However, determination after rallying up a crowd of protestors was easy to keep. Determination when met with the sight at the center of the mess…was not as easy to keep.

"I am not going anywhere ashayam..." Spock's words were softly spoken and his right hand immediately sought out Jim's own to press together as if to further prove such a statement. "Be calm…all is fine. I am right here…feel me my James, I am here."

Jim's eyes had at some point clenched shut and he lay heavily against the Vulcan, the hand not caught in Spock's own clung tightly around the other's waist keeping him as close as possible.

It wasn't until after the room fell into a complete silence that Jim was able to take a shuddering breath. He couldn't bear to look up and left his head resting against Spock's shoulder as he spoke…loud enough for the remaining onlookers to overhear.

He knew that they would not leave as well, just as he knew they had a right to hear what he was about to say.

"I-I cannot be the Captain of the Enterprise." Jim breathed out and a collective gasp from the others left him tensing in Spock's arms.

"Not like this. Not how I am…I cannot."

"Jim."

"No, I'm not…I just can't be the Captain."

AN: Hope you liked it.

Yes, this story still will have some of the dark!fic feel to it, but more so as left overs from last time. I think this one will have more action or suspense, but most importantly I want to focus on Jim and Spock's relationship-I think. Also, I've got some interesting twists in store and this time it may be Spock who needs saving instead of Jim? :D