Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own the the characters, the plot, or Degrassi. If I had a mind as creative as that then I wouldn't be wasting my time writing fanfiction. :)

Author's Notes: Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys are the best. I recently got a twitter, so, if you happen to have one follow me, xomurxo, and I'll follow back. Next season of Degrassi seems so far away. I'm finding it hard to get motivation to write! So please, bear with me. :)

CHAPTER SIX

TELL ME WHY

"I told you I'm not bulletproof... Now you know..."

Clare had been home for three days now, her body slowly recuperating and building up strength. Her leg would be just fine as long as she attended physical therapy and took the painkillers the doctor's had been quick to prescribe. For now, Clare was sternly told to stay off of the leg, to keep herself in bed and take it as easy as she possibly could. She had been given a pair of crutches before she had been wheeled out of the hospital, to use in absolute emergencies when she had to apply pressure to the harmed limb. Clare had never used crutches in her life and she found them entirely awkward and unbearably uncomfortable. The one time she had to use them they had hindered her more than aided her. It took her three times as long to maneuver from her bed to her bathroom which was disheartening and discouraging for the girl who was praying for a speedy recovery.

Clare's other annoyance was the fact that she could not be left alone for any length of time. It was either her mother, her father, Glen or Jake taking shifts outside of her room, making sure they were only a short call away in case she needed something. The more overbearing they became, the more Clare felt like screaming. Normally their concern and genuine well-wishes for her would make her heart warm, but she couldn't help but feel like they were suffocating her.

Today it was Jake's turn to watch her, while her father went on a well-deserved date with a woman he was becoming friendly with and her mother and Glen went to one of their old friend's wedding reception. The only problem was that Clare decided she was not going to participate in any further forced babysitting. Clare knew Jake had a date with Jenna that evening that he had cancelled to make sure everything would run smoothly at home. It took a ton of persuading and perhaps a tad more manipulation that Clare was comfortable with, but Jake finally agreed to go to a movie with Jenna. He told Clare he would be gone for two hours, max. Then he would be back to check on her, to make sure that nothing terrible had happened in the one hundred and twenty minutes he wasn't breathing down her neck.

"Are you sure about this Clare? I mean, I can totally tell Jenna that we can go see something a different day if you need me."

"For the thousandth time Jake, go! I will be fine. It's just a couple of hours."

"And you have everything you need? Water, pain medication, books, remote?"

"And crackers, videogames, magazines, paper, pen, phone, you thought of everything. Now go!"

Jake smiled at Clare and walked towards the door, placing his hand on the doorknob.

"Want it open or closed?"

"Open's good."

"Okay," Jake replied as he turned to leave. Clare could hear his footsteps descending down the stairs before his voice called out once more. "Last chance, Clare! I can cancel…"

"Jake!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going."

Clare let out a sigh of relief as she heard the front door shut, a soft echo rattling through the house. Finally, Clare would get some peace and quiet. She reached for her favorite book and opened the pages, perfectly content on being alone for the first time in a week, allowing herself to get lost in a novel.

Clare hadn't realized she had fallen asleep until she awoke with a start. Beads of sweat were forming on her forehead and her heart was racing a mile a minute. She was unsettled. While her eyes were closed she was brought back to the scene of the shooting, remembering every single gory detail of the event as if it were reoccurring. Her senses went into overdrive and her ears strained to listen to the empty house.

Creak.

Clare held her breath at the sound, paranoia washing over her. She tried to be rational, reminding herself that the doors were locked and no one was really out to get her.

Creak

At the repetition of the eerie sound ringing through the quiet home, Clare reached for her cell phone. She flicked through the contacts until she found a name she would feel comfortable with calling. Her mind was all set on calling Jake, to ask him to come home because she was frightened out of her mind, but her eyes paused on a different name, one that was closer to the beginning of the alphabet.

Eli.

Without overanalyzing the decision, Clare clicked the call button, her palm sweaty around her phone.

"Hello?"

"Eli!" Clare whispered, afraid that if she made too much noise, something awful would happen to her once again.

"Clare? Is that you?"

"Yeah… Can you…. Could you…"

Creak

The strange sound again! Clare's bottom lip quivered at the unwanted noise, Eli's voice once again speaking in her ear.

"What's wrong?"

"Come over! Please, Eli, please!"

Desperation laced thickly through her voice and Clare knew in any other circumstance she would have been morbidly embarrassed by her sincere vulnerability.

"Uh, sure. I'll be right there."

"Thanks. Hurry, okay?"

"Sure."

Clare hung up the phone, rocking her body, closing her eyes, praying for her safety. Was it normal for her to be so jumpy, so needy? Clare thought she was going insane but her immediate need for reassurance of her safety outweighed any psycho-analysis she might have wanted to perform on herself.

The knock on the door startled Clare, and she panicked, wondering how she was going to answer it. There was no way she would be able to make it down the stairs and she was too paralyzed with fear to attempt to anyways, even if she had been perfectly healthy. A second knock came and Clare went to her phone, dialing Eli's number once again.

"Use my window," she whispered softly into the microphone before Eli even had a chance to speak.

It only took a few moments for Eli to make his way up the terrace and rap his knuckles against the window pane, signaling his presence. He didn't wait for an invitation before he opened up the unlocked window and slid himself inside of the familiar room. His eyes found Clare's wide ones, full of an emotion Eli couldn't quite place his finger on, and he made his way over to the bed, kneeling in front of her.

"Clare…?" He asked with curious concern, not making any effort to touch her, in fear it would set off alarm in the girl.

"Eli…" Clare whispered in her soft voice, barely audible.

"Why are you whispering?" Eli asked, dropping his tone to mimic Clare's.

"Because…" Clare nodded towards the door and Eli stood up, making his way to the hallway.

"Because why?"

"Shh!" Clare scolded nervously, a single finger raised to her lips.

Eli's brow furrowed and he exited the room, despite Clare's soft admonitions to stay put. He searched around, wondering what Clare was acting so strangely about. He found nothing, just the old Edwards house exactly as it always was.

He walked back into Clare's room, noting the distinct terror on her face.

"Clare, I don't get it…?" Eli's voice rose slightly, questioning her peculiar actions.

"I'm… I'm scared," Clare whispered, her eyes filling with terror-born tears.

Understanding dawned on Eli at the admission. Clare had been through a traumatizing event. Of course she was going to be shaken up quite a bit at first. He wanted to murder whoever left her alone and put her in this kind of position in the first place. Eli wanted to be there, to protect Clare from all of this, but he didn't know if he could.

His feet moved him over to Clare's bed on their own accord and he once against dropped down to his knees in front of her. He placed one of his hands against Clare's arm, holding it gently, while his eyes tried to seek out hers. Clare was doing a fine job avoiding his gaze, whether it was involuntary or from embarrassment, Eli did not know. Firmly, Eli took Clare's jaw in his other hand and nudged her face, so that she had no real choice but to meet her blue eyes with his green ones.

"You're safe."

Clare was about to shake her head to protest Eli's statement, but he wouldn't let her.

"Listen to me, Clare. No one is going to hurt you again. There is nothing to be afraid of."

Clare felt foolish. Eli had to talk down to her so condescendingly just so she wouldn't go into a full-fledged panic attack. She was sixteen years old, not six! Repulsion at her need for comfort filled her entire body and she wanted to break free of Eli's hold, but he wouldn't let her. The more she tried to shake his hands off of her, the firmer his hold became. Clare felt so vulnerable, which was really what set her off to begin with. Never had she been placed in a situation where she was more defenseless. She was alone, immobile and her mind was suspicious. The very weight of her own vulnerability caused a shudder to run down her spine.

"No." Clare said, more adamantly this time. She was not safe. Clare feared that she would never be safe, in the true sense of the word, ever again.

Clare began to struggle more earnestly now, her hands balling into fists, trying their best to smack Eli every chance they got. Eli's hands circled around her wrists, loosely holding them but allowing Clare to fight. She needed the release, Eli knew it. She needed to let all of the pent up anger out, the anger that he wasn't the cause of, but he would gladly take the brunt of. Because it was Clare and Clare needed him.

Clare was on the brink of hysteria, flying fists in the air and loud sobs erupting from her small frame. Eli could tell she was on the brink of letting go and he allowed her to get the release she craved before tightening his hold on her. His stronger hold made her fists go limp, her body deflating much like a balloon with no more air left. She buried her head in Eli's chest and they stayed like that, wordlessly, for what seemed like forever. Neither of them wanted to move. The comfort that Clare soaked up from Eli's mere presence was overwhelmingly satisfying and the feeling of the girl depending on him, allowing him to be her rock, made Eli's heart beat a bit faster than normal.

"Eli?"

Clare's small voice finally broke the silence. He shifted, his arms still holding onto her, but angled his body so he could look into her eyes.

Eli watched as Clare nibbled on her bottom lip, uncertainty written all over the girl's face.

"Yeah?"

"I… I would really like us to be friends. If you want. I mean, if it's okay with you. I know I haven't been exactly the best friend lately, but I really want to be."

Eli smirked at Clare's slight ramblings and pulled out of her grasp, not missing the sudden look of disappointment that crossed over Clare's face as he broke the physical contact.

"Friends it is," Eli replied, holding out a hand for her to shake.

Clare rolled her eyes slightly and took Eli's extended hand, her face blushing a bit. Her stomach pulled at the word friends, knowing she wanted to be so much more than that. Clare knew she couldn't, not now anyway. She barely knew who Eli was anymore, so much had changed. It was like the Eli and Clare they were when they dated no longer existed and instead they were replaced by two different people entirely. She needed to learn how to trust him again.

"Do you think you could stay with me? As, as a friend, I mean, until someone gets home? I just… I just really don't want to be alone right now."

"Anything for you," Eli conceded, smirk still in tact, as Clare's eyes struggled to stay open. The crying and the scare had worn her out and she felt completely exhausted.

"Rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

Clare smiled and closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift off to sleep. It was the first time since the incident where her dreams weren't plagued with terrifying images from the shooting. It was the first time since the incident where she felt safe. It was the first time since the incident where she believed that maybe, just maybe, things would be alright again.

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xo Mur