HK: This right here? Longest first chapter ever. As usual I was talking to Sanity's-Overrated on Twitter, and somehow we came up with a mutual prompt for Michael and Lucifer playing Mother and Father for little Castiel. :P Sanity's-Overrated took an mPreg spin, and I went for more of the babysitting prompt. Not sure why, I just don't like writing AU. Well, this is AU too, but shut up. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any derivatives thereof! Except my cracky little alternate universes. :P But I make no money from them.

WARNINGS! Eventual Mikifer, Gabriel (he always needs his own), the painful cuteness that is baby Castiel

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Michael and Lucifer looked down at the tiny figure sleeping between them. Their father had just finished creating the fledgling, before declaring that he was tired. He had told Michael and Lucifer to look after their newest brother while he went to rest in the Garden.

He had taken care of every other angel he created personally, raising them all until they were old enough to take care of themselves. It didn't take long with angels, but the first few months were vital.

Michael had never had to deal with a fledgling before. He glanced at Lucifer, who shrugged, equally nonplussed. Of course, they had seen Dad taking care of the babies before. It was hard not to when the family was that big. But they weren't completely sure what to do… until suddenly they were.

Lucifer flinched and Michael blinked hard a few times as the knowledge downloaded itself into their brains. Michael straightened, figuring that since he was the oldest, he should take command. He sucked in a deep breath.

"So I guess we should get him inside?" Lucifer asked, cutting in and leaning down to pick up the tiny fledgling. The child looked so small in his arms, and Michael deflated. He may be the oldest, but Lucifer knew just as much as he did about taking care of a child. It was a relief really, to have Lucifer taking charge.

Somehow his little brother had a much softer touch with the younger angels. He was nicer, while Michael tried to maintain order and discipline among the kids. It was a bad habit, one that Lucifer and Gabriel were constantly trying to break him of.

As Lucifer passed him Michael gestured for Lucifer to stop, running a finger through the fledgling's short black hair and tugging a few strands off his face.

"What did Dad say his name was?" His voice was soft and almost reverent, but Lucifer didn't comment. Unlike the other angels, he was used to seeing Michael's soft side.

"Castiel." Lucifer's voice was equally gentle, and the two angels spent a moment just basking in the beauty of their father's latest creation. All angels were beautiful, but somehow this one was special.

Maybe because he was the youngest, the last angel their father created. Maybe because all of a sudden he was theirs. At the sound of his name, Castiel's eyes opened to reveal they were the bluest blue either archangel had ever seen.

Michael melted at once, cooing at the baby and freeing one hand to stroke a finger against the impossibly soft skin of his cheek. Lucifer raised an eyebrow at him and Michael blushed at once, snatching his hands back like it was on fire.

"What?" He demanded, glaring at his brother. Lucifer laughed and readjusted Castiel to lie more comfortably against his chest.

"Nothing Mikey. You're a beautiful mother." And with that he spread his wings, flapping away as fast as he could while Michael swore at him from the ground.

XX

The house Lucifer had created was small and homely, with only two bedrooms. It had a cheery tile roof and whitewashed walls, but no garden or fence.

There was no real need for boundaries in Heaven, and the only reason the house itself existed was because Lucifer wanted to keep Castiel from being overwhelmed by the sheer volume of his siblings before he was old enough to be introduced.

So he had made a small cottage for himself and Michael to share, complete with ivy climbing around the door.

There was a simple bathroom on the second floor, which neither of the older angels would actually need but baby Cas wouldn't be able to keep himself clean until he was three months old.

Downstairs there was a sitting room with a cosy fireplace and picturesque little windows. A sofa, love seat and arm chair, all in matching red velvet were spread around the room to face the fireplace but be far enough apart for personal bubbles.

There was a fancy dining room, with a nice oak table and a set of matching chairs. The walls were a deep rich blue, as opposed to the more cheerful yellow in the sitting room and the pale blue of the bathroom and bedrooms.

The kitchen walls were covered in a floral pattern, with a smaller table in there for casual meals. Lucifer didn't actually know anything about designing houses, but he had stolen the design from the future of Earth.

Castiel had fallen asleep again cradled against Lucifer's chest, as after Lucifer put him down in the small cot in the second bedroom he and Michael had explored the house. Well, Michael had smacked him upside the head first…

Now the two archangels were back in Castiel's room, standing over the crib watching the fledgling sleep.

"I have no idea how to take care of him," Michael confessed in a hushed voice. Lucifer glanced over, surprised, but his big brother hadn't taken his eyes off the baby.

"Sure you do. Dad downloaded the knowledge into our heads," Lucifer pointed out, whispering in spite of himself. Somehow the room felt hallowed… holy. Which was ridiculous really, this was Heaven. Everything here was holy. The sleeping angel somehow seemed to personify that though.

Michael shook his head, his wings fluttering behind him. Lucifer just didn't get it…

"I know that Luce. But that's just the mechanics, right? The basic stuff. I don't know how to love him, or care for him or anything! He needs more than just food and stuff, right?" If he sounded a little frantic, a little desperate, well, that made him no different than any other new father left alone with his baby for the first time. Lucifer's brow furrowed as he pondered the problem.

"I don't think it'll be that hard," he eventually decided. "If Dad can do it so can we." Michael finally tore his gaze away from the baby to stare at his brother.

"That's blasphemy, Lucifer." Some of his disgust seeped into his voice and Lucifer rolled his eyes. He didn't particularly want to fight today. Not with such a sweet little creature trying to sleep.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever Mike."

"This is serious, Lucifer! I will not have you talking like that!"

"Maybe you should stop me, mother!"

"Maybe I will!" The two angels squared off, wings flaring as they glared each other down. The only thing that stopped the argument from going to blows like it had a hundred times before was a small noise from the crib.

Castiel was stirring, his tiny face scrunching up as his fists bunched and smacked down on the blankets. A plaintive noise left his throat and in a second Michael was beside him, lifting the baby from the crib and rocking him gently. "Hush, sweetheart… hush baby it's okay…"

Lucifer deflated, his wings folding back against his spine. A small smile stole across his face as he looked at his brother cradling the infant.

"I don't know what you're worried about Mike, you're a natural," he said quietly. Michael glanced up at him, apparently only just remembering their argument.

"Really?" It was half question, half challenge, and in his arms Castiel squirmed again. A full smile crossed Lucifer's face as Michael's attention immediately returned to the baby.

"I don't think he likes it when we fight," the arch angel pointed out, slowly approaching his brother. Michael looked up at once, his wings flaring and relaxing when he realised Lucifer wasn't threatening him. It was a shaky truce at best, thanks entirely to little Castiel.

Lucifer crossed to Michael's side, waving a finger in front of Castiel's face as he tucked in against his brother. "Have you got Mikey wrapped around your little finger? Yes you have! Yes you have!" The baby talk was new, and completely to annoy Michael.

The older arch angel did indeed give his brother a glare, but it was half hearted at best.

"Shut up, Lucifer." Just then Castiel's huge blue eyes opened again and both arch angels dissolved into girly noises and baby talk.

XX

Michael was giving Castiel his first bath when Gabriel finally showed up, busting Lucifer's brand new door open by hip checking it.

"Hey bros," he called loudly into the house, glancing around and examining the pictures on the walls. These were a late addition, most of which featured scenes from Heaven but a fair few were shots of Michael, Lucifer, Michael and Lucifer, or one or both of them with Castiel.

No one seemed to be around, so Gabriel moseyed on over to the kitchen, which just so happened to be at the end of the hall beside the stairs. He stuck his head around the door, saw no one but a fridge, and figured that he might as well check on his brothers supplies while he raided their new bungalow.

Gabriel had long suspected that his brothers were having a little extracurricular fun, and building themselves a love shack in an unfrequented corner of Heaven? Only further cemented his belief. Raphael would finally have to pay up on that bet…

A splashing sound from upstairs distracted the ADD angel, and he abandoned his quest to the fridge for now. Sneaking back out of the kitchen (rather pointlessly since he had screamed to announce his arrival), Gabriel spread his wings and glided gently up the stairs.

The house had obviously been constructed by angels, as each hall, doorway and stairway were wide enough to pass through with all six pairs of wings spread. Under his breath Gabriel began to hum the Mission Impossible theme as he snuck along the hall.

The splashing sounds were getting louder, and he wondered what his brothers were doing. Sure, they could fit an entire beach inside any of these rooms, but that had always been more Gabriel's thing. He found the door the splashes were coming from just as another door opened down the hall and Lucifer stuck his head out.

"Gabriel!" His brother looked very surprised, hurrying into the hall and heading over at speed. Gabriel, now more confused than ever, gave him a cheery grin and tugged the door open.

What he saw inside made his jaw drop. It was not often that the angel of communication found himself speechless, but now was one of those times.

He stared inside for a while, then turned back and stared at Lucifer. The older angel had frozen, staring back with wide eyes. It was almost comical, even Lucifer's wings were spread wide. Finally Gabriel found his voice, pointing back into the room.

"You got Michael PREGNANT?"

XX

It had taken a considerable amount of coffee to calm Gabriel down, and Michael still hadn't stopped blushing. Baby Cas was dry now, and wrapped in a sky blue sleep suit, a pair of tiny jeans and a striped shirt.

Currently Michael was holding him in the arm chair, while Lucifer sat Gabriel down on the sofa and explained the situation to him. It didn't take long for Gabriel to recover his wide smile.

"So you guys are shacked up now, huh? Mommy and Daddy and baby makes three? So who's Mom?"

"Mike," Lucifer answered on instinct, snickering at the uncomfortable look on Michael's face. Then he realised what he was saying, and smacked Gabriel upside the head. "Stop grinning, you idiot, it's nothing like that! Dad just wanted to go to the Garden to rest, so he gave us Castiel to take care of. If you'd been there you would have had to do it!"

Gabriel hummed to himself and leaned back, folding his arms behind his head.

"I dunno Luce… seems to me like Dad might be dropping you two hints." He tipped Michael a wink, and his oldest brother glared back, his face practically glowing red.

"It's not like that Gabriel! We just have to take care of him until he can take care of himself!"

"Do you want to help," Lucifer cut in, pretty sure he knew what Gabriel's answer would be. He was expecting a no. Gabriel knew that, and decided to surprise him.

"Sure. I haven't got the legs for the dresses like Mikey does so I can't be Mommy, but I can be Uncle Gabe just fine. What's my new baby bro's name, by the way?" he asked, tilting his head at Michael. The eldest arch angel had gone suddenly pale at the thought of what would happen if Gabriel had a hand in raising the fledgling.

On the plus side, at least he was no longer blushing.

Castiel squirmed in his arms, apparently equally unimpressed by the idea.

The baby turned, fixing Gabriel with a blue eyed stare. Gabriel melted at once, exactly like Michael and Lucifer had every time.

"Oh he's just darling… can I hold him?" He fixed his own puppy eyes on Michael, and Castiel turned to look up at the oldest angel too. Caught between blue and honey gold, Michael groaned.

"Fine! Come over here," he said, shuffling Castiel more carefully in his arms. Gabriel rocketed to his feet at once, eyes wide and eager. He paused, turning to glare at Lucifer, who was snickering at him.

"Shut up Lucifer." Gabe scowled, trying to look a little less enamoured, but Lucifer merely gave him an angelic smile.

"I didn't say a word," he hummed happily. It seemed he was the only one who didn't fall apart completely whenever Castiel blinked. Then Castiel turned those baby blues on him and he crumbled.

Gabriel sat carefully on the arm of the chair and Michael slowly slid baby Cas into his arms. Gabe immediately hugged him close, playing with the hem of Castiel's shirt. The little angel fluttered his wings and Michael and Gabriel fell into the baby talk at once.

Lucifer chuckled, leaning back against the sofa. He hadn't actually thought there was a reason why their father had chosen him and Michael to take care of the baby. And that Gabriel thought he had gotten Michael pregnant… that was strange.

Admittedly he was closer to Michael than any of his other brothers, but that they could be… together… No. Lucifer dismissed the thought at once. It had to be just another of Gabriel's jokes. One of the less funny ones.

He pulled himself back to reality to watch Gabe and Michael coo over the baby. Cas was beginning to squirm again, his little face squinching up and he began to sniffle. At once Michael snatched him back, rocking the baby gently.

"Ssh, it's okay baby… it's okay…" He hummed gently, trying to calm Castiel down. It didn't seem to be working. Gabriel pouted, folding his arms.

"Hey… I didn't do anything!" The arch angel muttered sulkily, trying not to show how upset he was. Little Cas was still crying though, and Michael shook his head, getting to his feet.

"I think he's hungry, Gabe, it's not your fault," he consoled his little brother, passing the baby back to Gabe with a slightly strained smile. "Could you hold him again for a second while I go make him some… Lucifer, what do you feed a baby?"

Gabriel glanced up from where he had been stroking Castiel's cheeks to try and calm him down.

"Seriously? Do you guys have any idea what you're doing?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Lucifer rolled his eyes, getting up and following Michael into the kitchen.

"We need a blender… I think I saw one in the cupboard." The Morningstar began to open cupboards at random. Gabe followed him into the room, still rocking the whimpering baby.

"Man, he's really quiet. You'd think he'd be screaming by now," the short angel commented, wiggling a finger at the baby. Lucifer grinned at him from where he was leaning backwards out of a cupboard.

"Just because you screamed every twenty seconds when you were a fledgling doesn't mean everyone will," he teased. He leaned back into the cupboard, let out a triumphant shout, and pulled out the blender. He plunked it down on the counter and turned to Michael. "So… what should we feed him?"

Michael groaned.

"Really? I thought you knew!" He sighed, leaning back against the counter. Lucifer gave him an affronted look.

"I do know! I'm just trying to decide what to make him!"

As his brothers began to argue, Gabriel thoughtfully poofed a lollipop into existence, giving it a lick. Lucifer and Michael didn't seem to be getting a resolution any time soon. Gabe glanced around the kitchen, then down at baby Castiel, who was still whimpering.

"Want a lick?" The baby didn't reply verbally, so Gabriel pointed the lolly at him. Castiel licked it by accident and suddenly grabbed it. Gabriel pouted down at the baby, tugging on the stick. "Hey, that's mine! Chocolate suckers aren't easy to come by kid." He paused then shrugged, snapping his fingers to poof another one into existence. "Okay, I lied. Keep that one."

On the other side of the kitchen, Michael and Lucifer seemed to have stopped arguing. The sudden quiet was interrupted by a low, ominous rumbling.

Instinctively Gabriel spread his wings and wrapped them into a defensive shield around himself and the baby. A second later something splattered against his wings. That pretty much justified his reaction really, but most of the time it was.

Gabriel shuddered, trying to shake the gunk off his wings. It smelled like… bananas.

When he finally decided it was safe to part his wings, Lucifer and Michael were staring at him with matching "oh shit" looks. Gabriel's expression was murderous, and he stood slowly and deliberately.
"What just happened?"

Lucifer gave him a sheepish smile.

"I… may have forgotten to put a lid on the blender?" He let out a nervous giggle. Abruptly Michael spotted the sucker in Castiel's mouth and dived across the room.

"What in Dad's name are you thinking, Gabriel? You can't give a fledgling a sucker!" He took Castiel from Gabriel gently before smacking his brother and yanking the lollipop from the baby's mouth.

Immediately Castiel began to whine again, and this time Gabriel joined him.

"Hey… there's no need for that Mikey! I was just trying to help since you and Lucy over there couldn't get your thumbs out of your butts!" Gabriel's whine was decidedly less adorable, and Michael gave him a scalding glare and stuck the lolly in his hair.

"Next time don't try!" He snapped, storming over and handing Castiel to Lucifer. "You hold him, I'll make the food!" Lucifer pouted, taking Castiel and going over to stand next to Gabriel.

"Say it like I'm hopeless. At least I knew what to make!" He glanced over at his little brother, giving him an apologetic smile. "Sorry about your wings, bro." Gabriel was still sulking. Frowning at his brother and the baby in his arms, he gave his wings another shake.

"You owe me. If a single speck got on your baby there I doubt Momma Mikey would have let either of us live." A reluctant smile tugged its way across his lips, and he elbowed Lucifer. "So you were just mushing bananas, right?"

"Yeah," Lucifer replied with a frown, following his gaze to where Michael was at the fridge, pulling out milk, juice and a carton of strawberries. "Huh. Feeling fancy, Mike?" He called over in a teasing voice. Michael gave him a fiery glare, cutting fruits and pouring milk into the blender.

"I think someone should take care of Castiel, and since clearly neither of you are responsible enough to feed him I may as well do it properly!" He secured the lid with slightly more than necessary force, shooting Lucifer a pointed look as he turned it on.

The blender whirred again, but this time at least there was no ominous rumbling. Gabriel flinched anyway, and a tear fell from one of Castiel's sky blue eyes as he began to whimper. Gabe turned his attention to the baby at once, wiping away the tear as Lucifer stuck his tongue out at Michael.

"Hey guys… I don't think he likes it when you fight!" He pointed out, urgency in his tone. Lucifer and Michael ignored him, and Castiel began to cry in earnest. There were no ear piercing shrieks, however, no screaming or wailing.

Heaven had seen plenty of that when Gabriel was a fledgling, but Castiel's tears were very nearly silent, punctuated only by small whimpers.

Shooting his brother a glare, Gabe lifted Cas from his brother's unprotesting arms, hugging the baby tight against him. "It's okay, Cassie… Mommy and Daddy still love each other, even if they do have dicks up their butts." He gave his brothers angry glares, but they were still ignoring him.

Since he wasn't holding a fledgling any more, Lucifer had crossed the kitchen until he and Michael were nose to nose. Now they were yelling at each other, and apparently only Gabriel could see the repressed sexual tension responsible for the fighting.

If only his brothers got over themselves and did the horizontal tango they would probably feel a lot better.

He glanced down at Castiel again, shaking his head. The poor baby was red in the face, tears streaming down his cheeks as he whimpered.

Suddenly Gabriel had enough.

Shuffling the baby around until his head was resting against Gabriel's shoulder and he could support him one handed, the arch angel moved away from the counter and covered the baby's ears. He flared his wings out as far as he could, covering almost the entire back wall of the kitchen.

With a snap of his fingers he summoned his trumpet, holding it against his lips with magic as he went back to blocking Castiel's ear. A deep breath later, he blew out a note that made the entire kitchen vibrate with noise.

Michael and Lucifer paused turning to stare wide eyed at their red faced baby brother. Gabriel was almost vibrating with anger as he tossed the trumpet across the room with a surge of power. "Look at you two! Screaming at each other like a pair of brats when you're supposed to be taking care of a baby! He's over here crying his eyes out and you can't tear your eyes off each other! Fuck and get over it already before you kill him!"

Gabe was breathing heavily now, glowering at his startled older brothers. In his arms Castiel had stopped squirming and was clutching Gabriel's shirt like it was the only real thing in the world. The fledgling might not be able to hear what was going on, but he could feel what was going on in the room well enough.

After a long, awkward silence, Michael hurried over, trying to pry Castiel from Gabriel's shirt. Lucifer shrugged sheepishly, turning off the blender and pouring the puree into a cup.

"Sorry Gabe…" He said softly. Michael was having a little trouble convincing Castiel to uncurl his fingers from Gabriel's shirt. Gabriel, still steaming mad, shook his head, taking a step away from Michael.

"Not good enough. Apologize to each other. What were you fighting about anyway? A blender?" He gave his brothers a sharp look, and Michael gave up for now. He turned and gave Lucifer a half-hearted smile.

"I'm sorry, Lucifer… I shouldn't have been so snappy." For an apology it sounded more tired than apologetic, but Lucifer wasn't about to call him out on it. Neither of them had ever seen Gabriel get as angry as he was right then. He returned Michael's half smile.

"I'm sorry too Mike…" he said quietly. The oldest two angels turned to their little brother. Gabriel relented eventually, tickling Castiel under his armpits until he let go.

The fledgling wasn't crying any longer, but his eyes were still shining with tears and his lip was trembling. Michael enfolded the baby in his arms, rocking him gently as Lucifer came over with the cup and a small spoon.

Michael sat on the edge of the table, holding Castiel gently as Lucifer slowly began to spoon feed the baby. Castiel accepted the goop quietly, eating without complaint as the tears dried and the red faded from his face.

Over by the wall Gabriel's wings slowly deflated as he calmed, his eyes fixed on the scene his brothers made, pressed close together. They only had eyes for the baby, although occasionally their eyes would meet and they would share a tender smile.

Gradually a warm smile spread across Gabriel's face as well and he slipped slowly out the back door. When they weren't fighting, Lucifer and Michael had a special kind of domestic bliss that was rare even in Heaven.

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HK: There's also gonna be another chapter of this one for sure! Baby!Cas is just too darn cute to stop. :3 Leave a review if you agree, and go and check out Sanity's-Overrated's fic too! She won our race, but mine is longer. XP