Here is the first chapter of my new story Hold Your Breath Tight. Olivia is in Oregon, working for the FBI but when her cover is blown, things go terribly, terribly bad for her...

Disclaimer: I do not own them ( aahh only if I did :P)

"I can't do this anymore. I can't be looking over my shoulder, making sure you're okay!"

"You son of a bitch, you know that's not true!"

"I need to know you can do your job and not wait for me to come to your rescue!"

Olivia woke up panting dripping in cold sweat. She took a look at the alarm clock on the bedside as she took slow deep breaths to calm her beating heart. 4 am. She slowly rose from the bed and made her way to the kitchen to get a glass with water and once she had it she drank it while standing in the dark kitchen.

It was the third night in a row she had woken up with these words echoing in her ears. Even though a serious amount of time had gone by, to her it still felt like yesterday. The day Gitano sliced her throat and killed a kid, the day that she and Elliot had this big fall out for everyone in the precinct to hear and then she, aiming her gun at Gitano who had his held to Elliot's temple. The look in Elliot's eyes, for a moment she thought it would be the last time he ever looked at "I'm sorry" she mouthed to him, not because she was going to shoot but because she wouldn't, not in a million then she and Elliot sitting in the hospital hall.

"You and this job are about the only things that I've got anymore. I don't want to wreck that. I couldn't take it"

She let the glass fall into the sink loudly. She shouldn't allow herself to go back there. When she returned to SVU from computer crimes, she thought that it was going to be fine, that the time that had passed was enough. She couldn't be more wrong. His voice, the words that came out of his mouth those dreadful days were echoing like hammers inside her head the whole time.

That's why, when Dana made the offer for her to go to Oregon, she accepted, she needed to stop thinking about it, she needed out. And Oregon was the perfect solution. And that's where she was now, in the small house the FBI had got for her in Oregon. She had been there for almost three weeks and everything was going according to the plan, she had infiltrated the group and she was adjusting to this way of life, when three days ago, suddenly something overcame her. She went to a pay phone and dialled Elliot's number. She didn't wait long before he picked up but when she heard his voice, she couldn't bare it, she hung up without saying a word.

Until then, the Gitano days appeared every night to her sleep to haunt her thoughts. Olivia made her way back to bed but the moment her head touched the pillow she knew that sleep was not an option any longer that night. She just lay there, in the dark with her eyes open, mentally kicking herself for the hundredth time in these past three days for that one stupid phone call. Why would she do that? Wasn't Elliot the reason she had run away from New York without saying a word to anybody? True, but.. But! Olivia had missed the sound of his voice so much, she needed to hear him, even the "Stabler" he said when he picked up . it was enough.

A tear escaped from her eye but she wiped it away immediately. She was done crying for Elliot, completely done. All those feelings she had, all the thoughts of the two of them, she needed them to somehow vanish, go away for good, since nothing could ever happen

The next morning Olivia could barely keep her eyes open but she had promised T-Bone and Hope that she would meet them for coffee as they wanted her to meet a member of the group. When she arrived at the diner, the three of them were already there. Hope saw her entering and signalled her over to where they were seated. Olivia made her way through the diner and at the table she sat next to Hope and across from T-Bone and their friend with whom they were having a heated conversation at the time she arrived.

"Good morning" Olivia said and the guys turned their attention to her.

"Oh good morning Persephone" T-Bone also said with a smile "Here, let me introduce you. Persephone this is Dan Turner, Dan this is Persephone James, our latest addition, and a very dedicated one, I may add" he said enthusiastically and Hope nodded in agreement. Olivia could not help but smile, but mostly because she felt proud with the good job she had done, infiltrating the group

"Persephone huh?" Olivia turned to look at T-Bone's and Hope's friend, Dan who was looking, better, staring at Liv with a really weird look on his face.

"Yeah it's very nice to meet you" Olivia said, her smile suddenly became nervous, there was something about the way this man was staring that made her really uncomfortable, like he was scanning with his eyesevery inch of her.

"Ok so, before you came, we were talking about tomorrow's protest, the one in front of the pharmaceutical company , you and Hope will be passing flyers."

T-Bone kept going but Olivia had a hard time concentrating on what he said, for one, she was really tired due to lack of sleep and for the other, she could feel Dan's gaze fixed on her the whole time, it was really creepy but she had to act like nothing was wrong.

"This number you have reached has been disconnected, please check your number and try again."

Elliot let the phone down with a loud noise. It was something like a daily routine this past weeks, calling Olivia's number just to hear the same message, but he'd do it again anyway, like maybe would miraculously change and Olivia would pick up but of course, nothing ever changed.

"Damn it Liv" he muttered. He rose from his desk where unfinished paperwork was lying, but he couldn't concentrate right now "Where are you heading to?" Fin asked as Elliot was walking out of the precinct

"To get some air" Elliot answered without turning to look at him. Fin turned to Munch and shook his head.

"Let him man, he's worried" Munch said.

"Yeah, like we aren't"

"Yes but of course for him it's natural to be way anyway I guess we shouldn't news is good news, at least that's what they say" Munch said seeing the dark look on his partner's face.

"I really wish you're right here" Fin growled.

Olivia was going around the small house tiding up, when she heard a knock on the door. It wasn't late so she assumed that it was either T-Bone or Hope, wanting to tell her about a last minute detail for tomorrow's protest. But when she opened, she was surprised and a little frightened, to see Dan standing there, smiling.

"Dan?" she asked confused.

"Good evening Persephone, may I come in? T-Bone sent me to fill you in with some last minute details about tomorrow" He added when Olivia didn't move from the doorstep.

She hesitated for a second but then she thought that it would be suspicious of her, to not treat Dan well, who according to T-Bone was a well-respected member of the group. She moved for Dan to walk into the house and led him to the small living room.

"So what else do I need to know?" she jumped straight to the point, wanting to cut this visit short.

Dan showed no intension to speed things up. He wondered around the living room, like he was examining it. Olivia was standing in one corner with her arms crossed on her chest, waiting. Suddenly, Dan turned and looked at her with that annoying smile he had when she opened the door.

"Decent place you've got here huh? FBI really takes care of its people" He said and stared at her, his smile turning into a smirk.

Olivia froze on the spot. Inside her chest, her heart had started pounding like crazy, but she showed no evidence of any distraction outside.

"FBI? You really have it all wrong here" she laughed.

"I guess it is FBI that sent you here, they have an eye on us for some time now, but you know that already should I say Detective Olivia Benson?" his smirk became larger.

"Detective Olivia Benson? Are you high? My name is Persephone James, check my ID if you wish" her voice sounded calm, almost carefree but on the inside she was screaming. This guy knew her, knew who she was, hewasn't just taking guesses.

Dan laughed and started getting closer to her. Olivia didn't move a muscle.

"Yeah I'm sure you have an ID with that name, but honey you are Persephone James as much as I am. On the other hand." he took a piece of paper from his jacket which seemed like an old newspaper "Olivia Benson, the badass SVU Detective, now that seems more like you"

He had unfolded the paper and Olivia saw in horror her face looking at her from a newspaper article which was about a case of hers.

"Quite the crime fighter huh?" Dan's face now was inches away from hers "Who knew that NYPD had such a hot piece doing their nasty jobs" he was whispering now, the smirk still plastered on his face.

Olivia felt his breath on her neck. She pulled herself together and asked trying to sound sure and steady.

"What do you want?"

"You know Olivia. we can work this out without anybody getting hurt, as long as you cooperate"

She was now stuck against the wall beneath him, she felt his hand moving up to her breasts and she immediately put all her force and pushed him away.

"Not the right answer" he growled and made again a move towards her but Olivia was fast, she escaped from the corner she was standing in and tried to make her way to the drawer where she knew that it was her gun. She felt Dan grabbing her arm and so she turned and threw a punch across his face.

"You bitch!" he yelled but he didn't let her go.

Olivia fought to escape but his grip was very strong, she tried kicking him but he kicked her first, sending her fall head first, on the floor. Dan stood beneath her, still holding her by the arms

"Let go of me! Help!" she yelled with all her power.

"Shut up" he growled.

The next thing Olivia felt were his feet smacking her hard on the face, then, everything went black.

Please Review and tell me what you think :))