Varric Tethras. Possibly the hottest dwarf ever. Damn you, BioWare, that he's not a love interest!

Disclaimer: I no own, you no sue.

Sleepover

Chapter 1

A frantic tapping on his door roused Varric from sleep in his private room at the Hanged Man. He cracked open one eye tiredly; judging from the state of the low coals in the fireplace, it was sometime in the early morning hours. The dwarf sat up in bed silently as the tapping grew to frantic knocking, his hand already slipping under the pillow for the dagger he kept there. The other hand was reaching for Bianca, the crossbow resting on the small table by the bed. "Who is it?" he called.

"Let me in, let me in, oh Maker, Varric, let me in!" He just had enough time to recognize the voice as Hawke's when the door's main lock was jimmied open and the lady slipped inside, nearly slamming the door shut, throwing the deadbolt and securing the three other locks on the door. She turned to look at him, blue eyes wide in panic. "Crazy pirate lady trying to rape me and I think she's serious, can I stay here, I won't even make noise, I'll just stay under the bed-

"Ooooh Hawkieeee!" the young rogue flinched as the pirate's voice rang out from the stairway. "Mama just wants to lay you in bed and do naughty things with your pretty self, now be a good little kitten and c'mere," Isabela slurred as she came closer to the door, her boots making a staggering pattern in the hall. "Hawke is on the menu and Mama 'Bela wants the midnight special!"

Varric couldn't help it and had to cover his mouth to not laugh outloud at the look of horror on Hawke's face. "Please!" the lady rogue begged in a panicked whisper. "I don't want to be her midnight special, Varric, it involves a lot more knives than I'm comfortable with, you have to help me!"

He kept his resulting chuckle to a minimum as he agreed, "Sure thing, Hawke, but you better have a plan to get out of here come morning." She smiled in gratitude and made her way over to the couch on the other side of the room.

A slow pounding on the door suddenly rang out and Hawke dove behind the couch with almost comical speed. "Vaaaaaric...Oh Var-(hic)-Varric! Are you hiding a pretty kitty in your bed?"

He raised his voice to be heard through the door, adding just the right touch of sleepiness to his voice to sound newly wakened. "Wha? Isabella? Andraste's bare ass, woman, do you know what time it is?"

"But my Hawkie just vinnied...varnied...she just run off, Varric! I want my kitten, is she in there?"

"No, she's not in here, if she was, you'd definately be hearing us," he said with fake irritation. "Now go drag yourself to bed, Rivaini, and keep it down while you go."

"Awww, no Hawkie? Ruddy hell..." The pirate shuffled down the hall, the slurred sounds of a very dirty limerick drifting back to his door. The dwarf shook his head at the woman's antics, turning back to the couch. "She's gone."

A head of black hair popped up over the edge of the couch, bright blue eyes wide as they looked at him. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Yeah, she's gone to bed. But like I said, make sure you're out of here by morning, that pirate's got a wicked temper when she's hung over."

"I'll keep that in mind," Hawke said as she pulled off her backpack, leaning it against the couch. Varric had to admit that he felt a bit bad for her, since he knew that beaten peice of furniture had seen much better days. He grabbed the bed's spare pillow and a blanket from the foot of his bed, walking over to the couch. "Here, you'll need this."

She took the pillow and blanket with a smile that made him startle a bit at how young it made her look. "Thanks, Varric, you're the best."

"And don't you forget it," he said with a grin. He yawned, heading back over to his nice, warm bed.