AN: First Chapter of a multi-chapter story.

Warning: Slash and Angst and Fantasy and all that. Rated M

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor tdo I own anything to do with Twilight.

Chapter 1 - How It Began

School, how I hate you, I bitterly thought as I hopped on my motorbike, kicking it to the highest gear possible before shooting up the main road towards Forks High School. I didn't really hate the school on the Reservation, just the things they did. Such as a buddy system with another school which just so happens to be swarming with bloodsuckers.

The road was long, winding, and narrow, the perfect conditions for high-speed frustration-venting in my books. The trees passed in a blur as flashes of sterile looking white walls and people in pristine white suits walked around within them. I knew perfectly well that Forks High didn't actually look like that, but it wasn't what I was used to. I was used to the warm comfort of my friends and the familiarity of the Reservation High School that I had been going to since the beginning. Riding the corners hard and skidding wherever possible, the anticipation knot in my stomach was starting to constrict again at the thought of my first day at this new school for God knows how long.

Don't worry about it, I thought to myself, you'll see Bella again, at least. As these words skipped around my mind, I knew, for some reason that I couldn't explain, that it wasn't going to be that

People socialising in the parking lot stared as I was the first one of the group from the Reservation to arrive. I knew they would take as long as possible, and I knew why they would want to. A thousand tiny eyes pierced the skin all over my body as I walked from my bike to the front office. Like trying to outrun the sun's rays at the beach, it only gets hotter the more you fight it.

I was never one to act in humility, I was the opposite. I would rather die than swallow my pride. My pride is so big I probably would die if I tried to swallow it. I chuckled to myself at how true that was.

"Jacob! Hey, Jacob, wait up," a small female voice shouted, the noise flitting over the crowd behind me. I heard the footsteps, and I heard the yelling, but I only turned because I was feeling especially nice today. I didn't think someone like Alice would even call me by my first name, let alone a name at all. I would expect Wolf-Man or Mutt, but, as sad as it was to admit, it did kind of make my morning a little better to hear it.

"What?" I couldn't help but be rude, it was in my nature. I couldn't see her falter at my harsh words, but she could just be a good actress. Someone so small wasn't supposed to be so strong, emotionally and physically. Looking into those golden eyes, I wished I could take back the sharp point to the end of my words; the best I could do was apologise. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant 'Can I help you with something?'"

"I know you didn't mean it, it's alright," she playfully punched me in the stomach, about where he head came up to against my height, "I wanted to show you around, take you to the classes you need to be."

"I thought Bel-" I began to awkwardly say, but I was interrupted with a blank stare from Alice, and even though it was blanket, I knew what had happened.

"Sorry, Jacob, she was part of the group that went to the Reservation for the exchange." She did seem genuinely sorry, but that didn't stop my anger flaring up as I knew Edward was behind this.

Instead of yelling, or punching something or someone, I slowly took a deep breath, turned around, and continued walking to the office. I wasn't trying to be rude to Alice, and I knew that she knew I was just upset, because then I felt the weight on my back. I never imagined today would start with a piggy-back ride with a vampire.

"Why are you following me and attempting to help me when you know I don't want to be helped?" my question was softened by the small soft side that was forming in my heart for Alice, she was the nicest to me out of all of all the Cullens, except Carlisle and Esme, of course.

"Two reasons," she chirped in my ear from her position on my shoulders, "the first; Bella told me that if I replaced her for you, and was nice to you, she would let me take her shopping up in Seattle, and she promised she'd put more heart into it this time." Feeling a little hurt, the soft spot started fading back to an empty void. She was waiting for me to respond, but I was still too angry with Edward to reply.

Just before I was about to put my hand on the door knob to the front desk, she jumped off and spun me around to look at her. "The second reason is because Jasper and Edward both went with Bella as part of the group. I'm sorry if it sounds selfish, but even before Bella bribed me to help you, I had chosen you as my new buddy for the half-semester."

"What about the other two?"

"Well that's exactly the point, the other two, meaning they're already a pair. Gosh Jacob, keep up with the program," she said as the sassily snapped her fingers in front of my face. Her hand hit the door knob with an almost silent clink before her turned and placed her cool hand on my right forearm. A quick snap-out-of-it look gave me the energy I needed to walk forward.

"Sorry, I just didn't expect you to be this nice." I felt the need to explain my pause, in doing so; I also swallowed half my pride.

The first few lessons went by without any difficulty, apparently Quil and Embry decided to take the same classes without telling me. English was terrible; I had neither Quil and Embry nor Alice. But art was after that, and I couldn't help but be happy to be somewhere where I didn't have to think. Mondays were apparently the practical lessons, so I just had to sit in a quiet corner by myself, drawing.

"Make the emotions of today become apparent in your colours," the crazy art teacher, Ms Anderson, had said. She was nice enough, just not someone I would like to sit and have a conversation with. Her hands were the only other part of skin showering from under the moo-moo dress thing she was wearing besides her face. They were bony, tanned, and her long spindly fingers were crusted over with rings of all kinds. Her hair was multicoloured, mainly her natural brown with streaks of purple orange and gray, and were like curly, fuzzy half-dreadlocks. But the most noticeable feature was her actual self, a big blue hazy that drifted around the classroom barefoot and saying random quotes from different people no one had ever heard of.

"Fingers are the keys to the gate of life," she whispered in my ear. My eyes widened as the words hit the left side of my face. I was completely unaware that she could even fit behind me; I was cramped so close to the wall in hiding, it was impossible.

Just then the bell rang and I stood up to leave before turning to nod back at Ms Anderson. She smiled politely and waved her hand for me to leave. Just outside the door, the petite little girl who seemed to be following me was there again. Cute, short black hair, a flowing white shirt tucked into a pair of black high waisted pants, she was quite a vision, but not my type; taken and a vampire.

"How were your first two lessons then?" I feigned boredom as I turned my shoulder away from her and walked onward. I had realised during English that she was pretty much using me, and even though it was petty and bitchy, I acted as if I didn't care, I acted like Normal Jacob.

"What's wrong, Grumpy Bum? Are you upset you can't see Bella?" Her first question was mocking, her second was serious. I couldn't believe what I was about to do, but I had no choice, half a semester with no one else, I had to. I turned around and picked Alice up in a bone crushing hug. I really couldn't be bothered to be Normal Jacob anymore, at least not while I was in such strange territory. Somehow she wriggled her way out of my arms and onto my back again. What's with this chick and being carried and acting like a baby?

"While you're up there," I grumbled out, "you may as well act like a navigator and point me in the direction of the cafeteria."

Maybe my vision was half correct, sterile walls and white suited people, only they weren't suits, they were Lunch Lady Clothes, but it's really the same thing. With food in hand and a seat underneath me, I sat down… by myself. Even if I wasn't acting like Normal Moody Jacob didn't mean I had to go out of my way to be any friendlier than normal, if Alice wanted to sit with me, she could. And in a matter of seconds, there she was, sitting opposite me with a small plate of wasted food and a bright smile.

As I began to eat, I noticed the rest of Alice's family, the two of them, sitting by themselves over at a window table.

"Why not sit with them?"

"Because…" she left it at that to take a bite and for me to get the impression she was indifferent about the situation. I looked over to see the male one looking in my direction with the girl whispering in his ear.

"Because they don't like me." I stated, not questioned, and clenched my jaw shut around my half chewed lunch. Alice neither nodded, nor shook her head; she just averted her eyes back to her fake lunch.

Fine, it's not like I like them either. But as the thought was processing in my mind, I realised I actually thought they had changed, that maybe Alice was just breaking the ice for the rest of them to finally accept me as part of Bella's lives and stop making things difficult for me.

Anger burned in the bottom of my stomach as I felt the shame of my stupidity, How could you even think those filthy beings could be any different.

I abruptly lifted myself off the chair, walked towards the exit, throwing my lunch into the bin as I went, and walked towards the grassy area outside the front of the school. I can have my lunch break there without having to ruin their precious family moments.

"Jacob wait!" For the second time today, the same situation had occurred, but this time it was different. I didn't stop and turn because I felt bad, I didn't turn at all, I just kept walking, hoping she wouldn't follow me because I knew I had to stop when I got to the boundary.

The only lesson I had left that day was Maths, I hated Maths, and what made it worse was my seating choice. Getting there early had its perks, teachers automatically like you, so Mr Hamper smiled and nodded my arrival, catching me up to speed with the work that were doing at the moment. Just when he had finished, the rest of the class entered, sitting in their regular seats. Mr Hamper had told me to sit in the second-row-from-the-back seat because he knew no one sat there and I could work without having to disrupt too many people as the best in the class was sitting right next to me.

Before I even looked up I knew this was going to be a terrible hour out of my life. The male vampire, Emmett as I found out later, sat next to me, staring at the front of the room. I was terrible at Maths, but I was not going to ask "the best in the class" for his help if it meant admitting to vampire I was struggling.

The minutes passed with everyone silently working out their problems. Mostly talking with people next to them, it was nice that Mr Hamper didn't care about talking; he just sat at the front of the class reading the newspaper.

I was thankful for the first couple of questions being easy, I got the answers done in no time. Eventually the numbers and symbols began swimming around my mind, the pool of knowledge about Maths being so shallow they couldn't all fit. I felt the life guards that my brain hired trying to save some of the equations and formulae, but there was no use. Once I was stuck, I was stuck.

I looked up at the clock to see if I could get away with wasting time, not actually doing to work. I had another forty-five minutes, I was screwed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett looking at me, looking at the lock.

"Don't worry about it, Mutt, you only have to pretend to know what you're doing for another half an hour, the clock on the wall is slow." My fists balled up as I tried to hold back the anger of being taunted by a filthy leech.

"Cool it, kid, no need to get angry, we can't all be strong, good-looking and smart. Some of us just have to settle with what we've got."

I continued to "work" and he returned to his questions as the time ticked by. I used the time to attempt all the other questions of the sheet. The chatter around the room picked up slightly as everyone started finishing; I was the only one left still working.

Out of frustration I silently crushed my pencil, causing it to shatter in the middle, the writing end landing on my work and the rubber end falling to the ground.

"Seriously, no need to take things to extremes, they're just Maths problems," Emmett whispered to me he picked up the rubber end.

Anger finally taking over, I irritably whispered back, "For some of us, we've just got to settle with what we've got, and while I have my strength and I'm kicking your ass, you can defend yourself with your Maths solving abilities."

A few people looked around at where the noise had come from, not really understanding and then turning back. Looking uninterested he replied, "I guess not all of us are brilliant enough to bring home the trophies for our caring fathers and mothers."

Shock. A large mallet hit me in the back as all the anger turned to shock, intertwined with sorrow. How could he stoop that low? How dare he bring my dead mother into this? I couldn't believe he would get so petty as to say something like that.

I slowly turned my head to look at his triumphant profile, a smirk on his face. Just then, his smile dropped off as he realised what he'd said, and he realised I was looking at him. His head quickly turned towards me as he tried to explain, but the bell had rung and I was already standing to leave.

"Wait! Jacob!" He yelled over the class members leaving to get home. "I didn't mean it like that…" His voice trailed got tangled and lost in the sea of conversation of every other student.

My legs carried me towards my bike, using their normal pace, not the kind I use to fit in with all the short people. Only when I got outside, away from all the crowds, enough to really start to run did I feel the moisture in my eyes, not yet spilling over, but still present enough to know my emotions had gotten the better of me.

"Please, Jacob!" My ride was off in a flash as I heard Emmett's last words, who had obviously chased me, trying to explain.

My heavy feet bent the floor boards, causing them to creak, as I walked upstairs to my bedroom. I hadn't talked to Alice since the cafeteria, and what annoyed me the most was the actual sorrow I was feeling about being abandoned like that.

Wait, was I abandoned? Wasn't I angry at Emmett, for saying those things about my lack of intelligence and family? Alice helping me all day, wasn't she?

Before even realising it, my house phone was against my ear, having subconsciously dialled the Cullen's home phone. I knew it off by heart from all the times I had called to check up on Bella.

"I knew you'd call eventually." It was Alice, and she seemed happy.

"I thought you couldn't see my future," I smiled by let my voice stay hard and unemotional; I didn't want to let my guard down too far again.

"I can't, but I just knew you had some kind of heart and would realise I wanted to help."

"Yeah, well… I'm sorry I took off like that. I don't really know what happened. I just thought you were using me, hated me."

"Don't worry about it," she brushed it off, like it was impossible for her to hold a grudge, "clean start tomorrow."

"Clean start tomorrow," I agreed before letting out a silent sob. Just before I was about to hang up the phone, I hear a tiny voice coming from the other end. I placed to back to my ear to listen.

"You still there?" It was Emmett, I could tell. Anger and pain, all mixed with the ever-present tears still clung to my voice, only being able to hold them off for the short conversation with Alice.

I didn't reply, I considered hanging up, but could feel more of my heart appearing from behind the dark clouds. Now that I had these emotions out in the open, may as well have let the others out. And with that came my slightly more polite side, I couldn't just hang up on him.

"I didn't mean what I said. I was only joking about all that stuff. And I didn't mean to put and emphasis on 'and mother', it was just me taunting you and…" that was enough being polite. I still had my pride and didn't want him to hear my explosive sobbing, so I hung up the phone before setting it down and doing my afternoon rituals of homework, eat, TV, eat, repairing in the garage, eat, dinner, and then eat, all before bed.

The afternoon was full on, not much eating and more repairing as I made a breakthrough on the car I was working on; I had figured out how to remove the shell without damaging it. Lying on my bed, trying to get to sleep, I was still too restless, the excitement of the afternoons work continued to course through me as the pain of the school day was washed away easily. The sleeplessness persisted as the seconds-hand on my clock ticked away. People often complained about the constant noise being produced by the little machine, but I found it to be relaxing, pushing me to sleep. After a while, I was getting angry at my inability to find my path to darkness.

A scenario played out in my head from a few months ago; a conversation with Quil and Embry.

"There's always one way to relax and lease some 'tension'" Quil winked at me as we both knowingly laughed at Embry's story about sleepless nights.

"What? What way, how?" He was so innocent, didn't know a thing passed lolly pops and rainbows. He thought we were talking about some kind of drink or medicine.

Quil look at me with a smirk, curled his hand into a loose fist, lowered it south on his body and pretended to…

Quil and I had both laughed and Embry didn't have any more sleepless nights, but ever since then, I have taken my own advice on a few occasions.

Holding my breath for a short second to hear if dad was still wheeling around down stairs… he wasn't, and glancing over to see if my bedroom door was locked… it was, I moved to the centre of my bed, and closed my eyes.

Every single time I started my "alone time" I felt awkward and embarrassed at how lame it was to be this alone. I took off my plain white shirt and tossed it on the ground next to my bed. The slightly cool night air breezing passed my cheek was the last thing I felt before closing off all my senses, all but one.

One hand, I wasn't sure which, ghosted across my chest, a trailing finger glazed over my nipple as my other hand slid its way down my side. Moving more into the centre of my torso, the hand felt the ridges of my stomach, small, but definite. The index finger fell into the dip of my navel and then dragged back out by the rest of the hand eagerly searching for its target.

The other hand gently moved from my chest to my neck, massaging the tendons and muscles there, causing a silent puff of air to escape my lips. The little finger limply brushed the prickles on my jaw as the rest of the hand moved around the back of my neck. Though it was invisible to an ordinary human eye, the tiny scars that were visible to the pack were able to be felt all over my body. Bite marks from aggressive fights with other pack members left almost indefinable raised parts of skin, like brail, slightly lighter in colour than the rest of my skin, and almost completely dead to my touch.

Back when I had changed, I had worried about the wounded areas. Although they were only tiny, the build up caused a lack of feeling on the surface of the skin. I could still feel the pressure being applied to that area, I knew something was there, I just couldn't feel the intricate touches on the damaged areas. It didn't matter to the rest of the pack, they didn't care like I did, but they didn't react to things I did. They would prefer to ogle at some chick walking passed, whereas I would rather feel her skin brushing against my own, feel her hair softly flitter across my cheek.

The fear of possessing more skin without feeling than skin with it was one that flashed into my head every time my temper flared. I would control myself enough to walk away. I thankfully realised that early, leaving with only the deadened skin on the back of my neck and a little part on my calf.

All the while my southern-travelling hand was tracing the lines of V-muscle leading into my pants. Thank God that wasn't damaged, I knew that was my special spot and would be devastated if the feeling went away.

My fingers glided over the kin, right on the ridge, sending a small whisper of feeling through my body. A perfectly choreographed routine played our; one hand finding its way to my tongue, lathering the index and thumb in saliva, the other slowly wriggling its way under the elastic of my round-the-house pants. The first hand began to knead my left nipple, the stimulation shooting across my chest; nothing was slow anymore.

The second hand passed over the short, growing hairs inside my pants. I always kept them short, cutting them on occasion, purely because it looked better. The lack of underwear made it less difficult for my hands to find my bulge; the open space provided no resistance for my hand to move freely. The long fingers surrounded its mark, slowly pulling back the skin covering the end. A gasp pulled in through my nose, the sound only egging me on.

The hand at my chest changed nipples, passing over the groove in the middle before causing another explosion on the other side of my chest.

As my erection became harder, the strokes became longer, travelling completely from tip to base; the energy and pleasure building at the tip and travelling straight to my head. The other hand abandoned its post at my chest and took up the position under my balls, gently massaging them to the rhythm of my stroking.

As the pleasure reached my head, producing bursts of hazy cloud circling my mind, images of attractive women appeared; long thin bodies, curvy hips, large rack. I couldn't help but objectify these ladies, the images were taking over as I somehow found them undressing.

Longer strokes became faster in speed as the images changed to women I had seen on the beach before. Their golden skin sparkling in the sunlight as the water from the ocean dripped off their bodies. What I wouldn't give to be with one of them right now.

I licked my lips as the girl in my head did also, leading to a slowly building pressure in my groin. The feeling always made me pick up speed, the feeling of wanting more made me want even more, and my wants would snow-ball as all I wanted was more.

I knew I was pretty could at creating a large build, but the time was coming, and I knew it. The images swirled in my head as they normally did, the closer to releasing, the less distinct the images became. Every now and again a face or other body part would make its way out of the haze, but only for a short second.

Feeling almost ready to begin, my hands felt a twitching beneath them as I sped up again, losing myself to anything in the real world. If someone knocked on the door right now, I wouldn't have even cared. I always had a voice warning me I would regret it later if I didn't stop, but that had only happened once when Quil walked in on me in the shower. He knew he shouldn't have, he just looked shocked and embarrassed.

Just as the solid-feeling mass began to push its way over the edge, asking my permission to let go and allow it to flow out into the open, the images produced a glimmer of shiny pale skin. The tension was building as I fought back, only wanted a few more seconds to hold my thick log in my hand. The glimmer of skin turned into broad shoulders… which turned into a smirk looking in my direction… a smirk surrounded by a cocky, arrogant face, golden eyes and short black hair.

The shock of seeing Emmett's face in my orgasm caused me to lose concentration, my eyes snapping open and letting go as the hot liquid poured over my stomach and chest.

Sitting bolt-upright in the process, my cock continued to pulse ribbons of juice over my hands, feeling the immense pleasure wave over my body, my shoulders pulling back to stretch out my chest in a burst of feeling.

Knowing what had happened, but having my orgasm pushing me all over the place, I didn't actually have time to understand what it meant.

Feeling the pleasure ebb away, leaving behind a confused boy and a hand full of sticky, pearlescent sap, I lay back on my bed, not having the energy to sit up to think about what had happened.

I subconsciously cleaned myself up as I cursed Emmett Cullen's name, not realising at the time that I was more angry with myself.