Warning! Character OOC, coarse language! mentions of sex and an epic fail try on being funny.

It's X for X-rated!

Xanxus of the vongola family, when Mafiosi hears the name the immediate response is to stop their breath and to cower in fear. Everyone knows who the leader of the varia is, and if ask to describe then Strong, Deadly, Cruel, Terrifying, Hot-tempered, alcoholic, meat lover and lazy are the adjectives that can be heard.

Xanxus is invincible but despite the bad things that can be heard about him women can't take their eyes and hands off him. Of course most of their heads fly off because of that. But who can resist the appeal brought by the bad boy and dangerously sexy visage of THE Xanxus?

.

.

.

.

No one. Women line up just to get a taste of him, they want to experience the heat, passion and release promised by the wild sex they'll sure to experience with him. But no matter how much women try to appeal to him regardless of their beauty, curves, lineage, skill (in sex and fighting) and kink everyone as in NOT even ONE is accepted. He won't even look at them! And they can only think of two reasons:

HITOTSU! He has this one awesome lover hidden in the varia mansion that he favors the most. The rumors say that she's a sexy blonde that is as pretty as a deity but as kinky and talented (in both sex and fighting) as a succubus. AND

FUTATSU! He is GAY!

But all those speculations are wrong! None is correct as in Nada! None non nai! Because the truth that is hidden by the varia like a golden treasure is that... Drum roll please... THE great Xanxus-sama is afraid of sex! Yes you heard it , in this case you read it, right Xanxus is suffering from Erotophobia! He is beautifully impotent! He can't get it up! LOL.

Now, now for the reason he can't get it up is because he's afraid of sex and why is he afraid of sex?

.

.

.

.

Well, the truth is, he says it's because of an encounter when he was younger. It can not be disclose to anyone because it is really gruesome, icky, and you know inappropriate so we will leave it to your imagination. All that can be said is that, that experience includes whips, men wearing high heels, masks, bondage, gray hair, slimy shimmering splendid *beep* and insects and *beep* with *beep* and orgies with *beep* *Beep* BEEEEP* and women eating –according to Xanxus- *beep* in the secret dungeon where all your worst nightmares come to life.

So when poor 12 years old Xanxus saw that gruesome thing, *CENSORED*, he became afraid of sex and anything related to it! It doesn't matter if it's with a female or male Xanxus shakes, pales and just plain pass out whenever the makeup session starts. Oooh Varia tried to solve and cure this sickness they really tried, I mean a mafia don afraid of sex?, but it was just no use. Sigh.

So much for an X-rated encounter with the great and fuckable Xanxus-sama ne?