Let's pick up with Edward outside the café where Jasper just walked on by, more like ran away.

This fic was nominated for Best All Time Favorite Twilight fic in the Fanatic Fanfic Multifandom Awards! I'm so thankful to whoever nominated it!

Songs for this chapter are The Reason by Hoobastank and The Beat of Your Heart by Shawn Hook, which I made a video for this point in the story to. Check it out at…

youtube com / watch?v=r2ijCOFbBTQ

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: This is slash and I don't own the Twilight characters.

Ch.25 – Will You Call My Name?

Epov

His scent wafts past me, it moves through me… a hint of fresh summer's day mixed with something indescribable, yet recognizable, as only him.

It has to be him.

It can only be Jasper.

His presence sends me reeling as a flood of emotions and sensations crash through me, all at once. I've not forgotten any detail of him or our time together, of the effect he always had on me. I've never stopped remembering. Every day, practically every minute, I've wondered what could have been, what still could be. But I see now – all of it, every sentiment and memory was dulled, wrapped in cotton and bubble wrapped so that only a fragment of its magnitude was open to my consciousness, giving me a glimpse of a chance at functioning without him. Until a few moments ago, when his scent opened the floodgates, and released its full intensity coursing through me. He is. The details are bombarding me – every memory suddenly in focus, immediately made crystal clear. My heart hammers in my chest as if I've just run 100 miles. But the fragrant trace of him already threatens to fade.

I frantically look up from the nice elderly lady who has traveled all the way from Oregon to have me sign her book. My attempt to not alarm her fails. It's impossible.

"Are you alright, Mr. Cullen," she kindly asks with concern etched into every wrinkle on her sweet old-lady face. She grabs my forearm as if she can save me from falling and fainting since I'm sure it looks as if I'll do both any second. But if I do, it will send us both toppling.

I mumble a response, not sure what I've said, but she looks like she believes me and lets go of my arm. I can't see Jasper, try as I may, peering over the tops of the heads of the numerous people who've followed me out of the little bookshop café where I just finished my book signing. I squeeze this way then that, through the people, making my way to the curb as quickly as possible to search up the street and down another, and across to the park on the other side. I squint in every direction at once, but try as I may, I can't see him. I know he was here. I'm not surprised. He's in this city this weekend, for his show tonight. I planned my book tour accordingly; it's no accident I'm here, too. I wasn't expecting, to come face to face with him until tonight though.

I hear the chattering behind me as I continue to search for Jasper. Pacing back and forth, I shield my eyes from the sun. My fans give me space for now. So many people came here to meet me. I've just spent time with them, discussing my books and making polite conversation – they're confused by my sudden change in demeanor. Being famous with loyal fans who connect with my writing as deeply as they do seems impossible to me most days. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it. I cherish the devotion my readers offer. Writing from my heart, from deep emotions and personal experience – my fans get that. Though, they don't know how real the events of my first novel are or that its sequel is an idea of how I hope my future will unfold. It's my life.

I feel my agent's presence when she arrives at my side. She has become my most trusted friend. She knows my story, that my story is true and she's the only person I've admitted I'm bisexual to. Vic is gorgeous, a complete ginger bombshell, yet she does nothing for me, and it's not like she didn't show interest before she knew the whole of my story. I tried to look at her in that way, especially since I've not been with anyone since the last time Bella and I slept together, which was a long time before our marriage legally ended. I'm horny as hell, for one person and one person only. The only person I want is Jasper, and I'm going to get him back.

The time has come, after all these years. I write of second chances and happily ever after. I'm done just writing about such things. This time I will succeed. I won't leave until he talks to me.

I've intently watched him from afar since the morning I awoke alone in his cabin seven years ago. I knew it was goodbye when I closed my eyes at dawn, drifting off to sleep for the last time in his arms. My final precious conscious moments in his presence. His absence from my life was immediately suffocating; it was as if I couldn't breathe without him. But I knew it was my own fault. My choice. I was suffocating myself, wasn't I? Knowingly separating myself from the air I needed to breathe, to truly live.

It was my fault our separation was necessary because of my lack of strength and character to do the right thing. I knew it then. I know it now. I've gotten what I deserve because of it, and then some.

I've watched him. I've been forced to watch. The profession he secured insured I had no other choice but to. Before I could get my bearings and try to forget him, he was there… his beautiful face seemingly aged overnight from a boy into a man. Every way I turned, he was there. On the television, in magazines, on the internet – his soulful voice calling out my pain on the radio. His sad, downcast eyes haunting me. I had no choice but to watch and listen to him.

Through my transformation, my incredibly long and monumental transformation, I watched and listened to his. First his anger with me - I could feel it like it was a tangible thing, reaching out across the miles. But there was so much more than anger and hurt in the mournful tones of his voice, in his poetic words. I heard his longing for me. I clung to the forgiveness I noticed slowly over-taking his resentment and pain. His words changed as his appearance did. He began looking into the camera dead-on, even occasionally smiling. Eventually he was spotted with various men here and there, and often with his manager on his arm for events, or on apparent dates. Peter Carleson, an incredibly handsome man, indeed. I've watched in pain, yet proud of my Jasper. Happy for him to be living his life out and proud like he wanted. But I've also been selfishly relieved by the obvious fact that he's never been quite content. There's always something missing from his gaze. His smile doesn't reach those beautiful eyes of his. And though his relationship with Peter has been on-going and obviously more than professional, he's often spotted making out with someone else. Peter is in love with him, I have no doubt about that… but I'm equally positive Jasper does not return the depth of Peter's affection. Jasper does not love Peter. Not like that. Not like he did me, and hopefully still does. Jasper doesn't look at Peter the way he looked at me. Never.

I worked up the nerve to approach Jasper last year, only to fail miserably. Had I been ready, I wouldn't have given up so easily. But today, I'm prepared to get Jasper back, or at the very least, begin to.

"If he'll have you," the little voice inside my head chides, the self-doubting one I used to listen to. I know it means no harm. Quite the opposite, it attempts to protect me, to guide me towards the easy path. I tell it to shut-up, though… finally, I do. I ignore it. For far too long, I listened, letting it rule my life. I can't do it, anymore. I won't.

I wasn't ready all those years ago. It's taken me until now to grow up, to mature into a man who can begin to deserve Jasper, the man he needs me to be. Who he needs to be with. I know I can be that man. I have to because I can't live without him any longer.

Victoria yanks me from my reverie, where I'm still standing here on this street corner, now dangerously close to the edge. She grabs my arm and pulls me back as a truck zooms by, blaring its horn.

"What the hell, Edward!? What's gotten into you?"

"He was here, Vic! Jasper was here… I smelled him! He was here, but now he's not!"

"Ahhhh. Okay. But we can't get him back if you get hit by a truck, now can we? Pull yourself together!" She chides, yet she starts looking up and down the street with me, for me. She keeps my hand in the tight grip of hers, protecting me and showing me she's here for me. Always.

It's been minutes since I smelled him and he's nowhere in sight. I can't get his scent out of my head, though. It's like a drug, and I need more. I've gone without my fix for an unspeakable amount of time. I see that now. When I was eighteen, I saw it, too. I knew it. I just wasn't strong enough to stand up for a different way of life, for the life I need to live to be with him. The only life that will make mine worth living.

Though his scent is gone with the wind, I continue to feel his nearness in my bones. I've not felt this sensation of completeness since he left me. But I remember the feeling he elicits, the feeling of being home. And I feel it again, now – for the first time since he left. I breathe it in, gulps of air I've been starved for. I can finally catch my breath. I know he's here, though I can't seem to visually confirm what I know to be true.

Until, I do!

I see him.

It has to be him, way down the street, a full block away, peering at me from around the corner of a building. And then he's gone.

Shit!

I run as fast as I can, with Victoria yelling to me to be careful, and good luck. When I make it to where I saw him, he's no longer there, but I see a man in a black hoody running in the opposite direction. I don't know how I know it's him, but I know the retreating man to be Jasper, beyond a shadow of a doubt. It's him.

If I could see his hair, I would no longer see blond waves flowing behind him as I would have when we were younger. He dyed his locks as black as black right after he left. His clothes changed, too - matching his hair in style and color. Over the years he gradually lightened his locks to chestnut brown, and changed the way he dresses to what can best be described as classy casual. He's grown into a beautiful man, right out of the pages of a Hollister catalogue. And though the man currently attempting to run away looks nothing like the current Jasper I describe, I know it's him.

I didn't make a conscious effort to do so, but I'm running after him, again. There was never a choice. Warmth flows through me, consuming me more and more with every foot I gain on him. This feels right. I should've been running after him, always moving toward him, all along. I'm such an idiot.

"Jasper!"

I call to him. He doesn't hear. Or maybe he does but chooses to ignore me. Desperate pleas are what anyone who listens hears escaping my parched lips and already hoarse throat. Quite the sight I must be racing down the street, dodging passers-by and yelling like a maniac.

Finally, he stops, but does not turn around.

He stands frozen like a statue while I ease the distance between us. I'm close, maybe forty feet away. I didn't plan to do it like this, but I'm ready. I know what I have to say to him. I've rehearsed it in my head a thousand times.

But he slips into a taxi, instead.

"No, Jasper, don't go!"

The people I rush past look at me like I'm crazy, but I don't care. My life is about to get away. Again. I can't let that happen. I run up beside the taxi, clinging to it.

I focus through the dark glass, placing my palm on the cool surface. I see him. His hood is off, sunglasses lowered in one hand to the tip of his nose. He's stares back at me, his crystal blue eyes beseeching my soul. Asking me to leave him alone while begging me not to at the same time. He reaches his hand up to the glass, placing his palm against it, mirroring my hand on the other side. If not for the cool barrier between us, we'd be touching. I can feel his warmth through the glass - I swear I can. He seems to feel it, too, suddenly snatching his hand away. And then he's gone. The cab takes him away while I'm left standing in the middle of the street, watching him disappear. Cars are honking but I'm unable to move. I feel a panic attack quickly approaching. I begin to hyperventilate, but somehow make it to the sidewalk before bending over with my head between my legs.

Leave me some love? I'm anxious to hear your reaction to Edward's pov!

I'll try to get the next chapter out soon, and continue with the Cry Wolf boys!